Son didn't pass degree

[anotherglass]

Hello, please be gentle as I am heartbroken for son. He has not passed the degree after failing to get the required credits. He can resit his exams but the most he can achieve is a pass, and no Honours. After 4 years of study he is devastated. He worked hard and passed his dissertation. I am in shock and it breaks my heart to see him so downhearted. Anyone have advice please on how to navigate thru this and keep him feeling good about himself. I am trying to remain positive but inside I am devastated. Thank you

I know two people who failed their degree in recent years. Both were offered a diploma instead. Both are autistic.
They’ve done well since in the working world.

@anotherglass what is/was his longer term plan?

I'd encourage him to resist and discuss ways with him that he can present it as a positive in interviews.

If he can show resilience and overcoming disappointment, it shows strength of character.

Most jobs don't specify a degree must be honours.

He could also consider in time topping up with another qualification. He may be able to do this through the Open University. It was very common for students who had issues to transfer in credits and complete this way.

Has he checked repeating a year isn't an option?

He should take all university advice on offer and you should reassure him that life has many bumps. It's disappointing but not the end of the world. It may feel like it just now but in the longer term he'll move past it.

Try to get him out and about and not dwelling.

My son went to what is considered a world top university. He was very elusive and to cut a long story short he was so far behind that he failed to turn up for any of his exams. It was a bad time but we stuck with him and told him that a degree was not everything. He now has a very successful career and a house in London and a family. It is not the end of the world.

Hi OP, as a lecturer we do see this 'head in sand' approach, and my advice now would to persuade him that asking for help is the right thing to do, and that it's worth him doing what is needed to get a pass degree. While a lot is said about the importance of types of result, a degree is a degree, and after a couple of years in the workplace the subject and degree class become much less important anyway. However, if he finishes he'll always be able to say he has a degree in this subject from this university. That's as much as many people will ask. You've said he finished his dissertation so that is a sign in his favour that he can work independently and complete a substantial project.

I would see if you can find out who his personal tutor is, and if not, contact the head of department, and ask for a meeting either in person or on Zoom/Teams to discuss how to complete his degree and get the best result available. Do this ASAP as there may be a window for applying for special consideration that will not be available later - if results are not yet out, definitely act as fast as you can. Also check out whether there's a student welfare or wellbeing team who could help him. While universities are only supposed to deal with the student not the parents, as they are legal adults, if he gives permission then you could join a conversation with his tutors. They will want to help - generally none of us want to see a student fail if we can avoid it.

This is why DS is heading to college to study an HND as he wouldn't cope with university. He's autistic and needs lots of support and a more relaxed workload.

Not everyone is suited to university. It's time more was said openly about this.

Why wouldn't it be worth resitting? He gets a degree.

This brings back sad memories as it happened to my son. He ended up with an ordinary degree and a lot of student loans. He struggled with his mental health during uni and having been born premature had hearing loss. Sadly he got lost in a system. We appealed with a barrister but ultimately the uni decides if the uni has acted fairly. My advice is give it time, look after him as the fallout was hard and picking him back up took several years and such heartache. He’s in a good place now. Your son will be so ok but the heartache right now is so painful

Hello, thanks for your message. What is special consideration? He gets his results officially on July 11.

Having an ordinary degree is hardly a failure! I got one from uni as I had no desire to hang about and wanted to get on with my chosen occupation. I didn't get paid extra for getting "Hons" at the end of my name so it made no sense to saddle myself with more student loan...

If this is all it is about, honestly your DS has nothing to worry about.

Hi there. First, I’m so sorry to hear this, it must be very hard for your DS and for you as a parent. To fail 2 exams suggests something was going on for him and it may be he needed reasonable adjustments. Were they timed exams? You need to speak to the university and it may be he could raise extenuating circumstances. He will need evidence to support this and it would be helpful if it also covers why he didn’t raise things earlier. I’d do this sooner rather than later, because once results are published, it is likely more difficult to challenge. If it is not possible to do this or it is not appropriate in the circumstances, a degree is a degree and he needs to look forward. If there is an issue to be addressed, he can take steps to do so. I have known some students who have applied for jobs explaining the challenges they have faced and gone on to do very well. All the best x

My brother did this. Hard life lesson after dossing around through school and coming out on top. Has ultimately worked out okay for him. I personally wouldnt be trying to fix this for him as his parent - hes a grown up and you cannot, nor should you be, bailing him out.

Your son is relying on your lack of knowledge to feign ignorance himself

However I can assure you that he almost certainly knew where he was headed

Saying that some kids just don’t love the work/stress/ learning and cba to put the effort in

Which course is it?

Sorry to hear this. I graduated with an ordinary degree 30+ years ago and it wasn’t an easy time (parents disappointed etc) but I have done very well in my career. Mentioned to a colleague recently and they were surprised as wrongly assumed everyone at our level would have honours. I have also employed someone with a diploma of education (only completed 2 years of her degree) who did very well and ultimately caught up with the graduates in our team. Now sadly moved on to greater things but glad I gave her the opportunity.

He should take the exams again and get a pass. I have two degrees both firsts and no employer in 45 years has ever asked me what grade I got. They only care that you have a degree.
My DS only got a pass because he didn't work very hard and nobody has ever asked him either.

My eldest DS had a uni experience like this. The uni were hopeless at investigating. He too "failed" his degree. It was a very tough next12 months.

He went on to get a 4 year apprenticeship with a major company. We put on his cv that he had studied X for so many years at Y, if that helps.

P.S. my DS is autistic, but refused all help during uni.

of course you need to check policies but having my trio grow up in a tiny isolated village parents really did chat about kids grades etc.

some went into entry level jobs and stayed
some switched from uni to trade college (with some of their courses counting towards their trade/tech program)
some redid courses via open learning while working part time
some changed uni's.
my eldest changed uni's 4 times! fourth uni was a charm, they insisted and followed up with SEN testing by this time he had severe exam anxiety despite excellent course work and attendance, diagnosed with ADD (not too much of a surprise) started meds and finished strong. totaling 7 years to complete a 4 year degree...guess what, no one cares. all jobs want is the degree not the story as to how you got it only the 3 first years were full time, the remaining part time uni and part time work.
understanding the policies is not super easy but as a family you can get through this.

I've read as a pp says that you can use credits from your degree towards an open uni one. For some subjects you can pick modules to combine with the units you have achieved. So you don't have to do subjects you failed at. It's a hurdle in life but not a disaster.

If you are neurodivergent. There is a high likelihood your son is and at uni he has fallen through the cracks. Not recognising he needed help or unable to ask whilst masking so heavily uni didn’t notice.

support him to get his pass and then
move on. Very few employers will be interested in his degree result in a few years.

make sure he follows his passion.

and yes. Perhaps consider a private ND assessment and support him to understand his strengths and challenges to avoid disappointing himself again in future.

best of luck.

Depends what he wants to do after uni. My son had to show his degree certificate and transcript before a job offer after graduating. 15 years down the line when accepting a very senior position in his field he had to submit it again. So don’t assume it doesn’t matter

Will your son give you permission to speak to uni. He needs support to try and resolve this.
We had a similar situation with a relative. He was a 2.1 student yr1 and yr2. Various issues with uni and he had MH issues and buried head in sand. He was looking at a pass no hons. He signed authority for us to speak and once we actually spoke to someone senior it got sorted - he was capped at a 2.2 hons and graduated a few months later. The uni had let him down badly for various reasons.

Truth be told op OH WELL. A degree is not be all and end all at all. Resit, don’t resit, get a job, work his way up or not, do another degree in something else, set a business honestly a degree doesn’t matter, IT DOESNT MATTER. The fact that he cares shows he will find is way.

a little perspective. My friend since childhood messed around in school and is not academic in any way shape or form she’s not even ‘life smart’ and we joke all the time about how basically she hasn’t got a clue about life but fell in to aesthetics and now owns her own business , has three people working for her and makes a hefty sum in the beauty business.

Whereas our other friend studying to be a dentist , she always worked hard in school, she really didn’t fit in with us but we loved her anyway. She’s qualified as a dentist was
absolutely miserable to the point where she has quit and works as a manager for an average company making less than half of what she is qualified for yet it’s the happiest she’s been in the last 7 years.

Our other friend is a p.e teacher, average in school and loves her job and is getting married in August to the love of her life who is also a fellow p.e teacher that she met at her job.

Our other friend took over a car garage from her dad, it was always in the cards she makes an absolute fortune but she’s not happy but doesn’t feel she can move on as it was her dads. Our other friend works for vodofone she had really good exam results but zero confidence despite us telling her she is incredibale, she has worked her way up has a company car and phone, goes on business trips is single and living her best life.

A few of our friends also have become mums, others are still finding thier way but do you know what out of all of us it’s not necessarily the ones who have made major bucks are the happiest and the ones who have ended up doing something by accident seem to be the ones who are enjoying life

Hi OP, sorry to hear about this. All is certainly not lost yet - the summer resit period has yet to take place.

If he gets his results on July 11th, this is because exam boards are now taking place, where marks are confirmed, and where staff work out which modules relevant students are eligible to re-sit in line with the regulations. So he’ll be written to when that’s happened, and he’ll have his options explained to him.

If at that point he still has questions, he should have a conversation with his personal tutor or course leader.

The advice you’ve been given on here to get him assessed / claim mitigating circumstances probably isn’t right at this point. A diagnosis and support statement could have helped him during his degree - it may have entitled him to extra time in exams or extended deadlines - but that can’t be done retroactively at this point. Universities are pretty good at explaining to students in year 1 that they need to get a diagnosis for a support statement to benefit from that support. Also with mitigating circumstances, the regulations will be quite specific about what counts, and it’s unusual to be able to apply retroactively.

All this is to say that Universities have quite complex and shifting regulations and procedures around resits and mitigating circumstances that have to be applied and stuck to (unlike what a previous poster suggests). They have to, to be able to award degrees. And their regulations have to be comparable to other institutions.

The good news is he will get the options around resits permitted within the regulations, and you won’t have to beg or plead for that. At the same time, staff can’t do anything outside the regulations, so there is no point asking for meetings with academics - they can’t change the regulations.

He will be able to access the regulations on his intranet, so it might help you to read them before he gets his results so you can understand what options he’s offered. He may be entitled to resits that could get him a pass. Even if he fails year 3 when he’s exhausted all his resit options, he may have enough credits for a diploma.

I see a lot of students sleepwalk through poor results and seem a bit shocked at the end. I’m not sure school is preparing them well for the reality of independent work and consequences. It’s really sad to see - we definitely want university to be a more positive learning experience than it is for some.

@OP what did he study? if he wants to study further he can ff up with a Post graduate Diploma (1year), many universities will take an Ordinary degree for that. Then follow it up with a Masters.

I have adhd and so do my kids - you are being a bit flippant about suspecting he has adhd but not doing anything about it or encouraging him to? May I suggest you get him diagnosed and if he is maybe uni will let him do resits.

A degree isn’t everything these days. He can do apprenticeships and be paid whilst training. Focus on his interests and he will excel. Sending a virtual hug to you, you have not failed. There are alternative doors to life and being successful. Most entrepreneurs never went to university. Think agile!