State school kids at Edinburgh university- how bad is it for them?

[StartingAgainFGS]

I keep hearing reports of state school kids not fitting in at Edinburgh uni (at best) and at worst some real bullying going on. Heard it described on here as "pony club bullying". We are very far away from the private school demographic and I wonder how my DD would cope. We would be scraping by to send her there in the first place and I would not like her to feel so out of place that she's uncomfortable/unhappy.
Are these reports exaggerated? Does anyone have a state school DC there?
Thanks!

They are doing fine as they’ve found their people.

Although DS was friends for a bit with a kid who’s dad was a multi billionaire and another who worked two jobs alongside uni to fund himself as he was estranged from both parents and lived with his girlfriends parents in the holidays . It’s showing him both extremes.

But many students these days do live on M & S food (some toogoodtogo or yellow stickers mind!) - there’s a lot more demand for en-suites, protein rich food and the more expensive things in life though these days it seems…..

I know! Real.

Same.

No issues at all. DC’s had a mix of friends from a range of schools both here and abroad.

It seems a shame to potentially throw away a good education based on prejudice and speculation. People find their tribe. I went somewhere where you'd expect it to look as you suggest, but my friends ranged from Eton boys, a Tory MP's daughter, rural and city comprehensive students and other independent kids. And international ones. All different subjects and different colleges. We formed a group through the music we liked to go clubbing to, saw each other around, introduced each other etc. Lots of interesting post club conversations 😀

But putting people in a box before you've given them a chance isn't great.

Edinburgh was my insurance and I would happily have gone there.

I went to Durham (not Edinburgh but similar vibe) and I found the only other state school people and bonded with them! They became my friends for life. We also added in one boarding school person, who also seemed to only make friends with us state-schoolers!

I know it’s not the same uni, but I think your child will find her people.

Incidentally, we used to call the posh people the “rah”s and I really struggled to connect with any of them. I still don’t tend to have “rah” type friends now, and I live in London. I don’t know why.

I still find the idea that calling people rahs is ok, and chavs is not, confusing. It's othering, whichever way you cut it.

Give people a chance before putting them in your discrimination box.

Maybe it’s a little bit similar to how there’s no such thing as “reverse racism”? Rahs, ultimately, have and will always have, more power than anyone else. Because they’re rich and they know people.

The trouble is, when I went to Durham, the so-called “rah”s used to discriminate against the state school people. I got called a common Northerner, teased for my accent etc. I had absolutely no concept of rahs or even that kind of inherited entitlement before university. I then sought out people who didn’t make me feel shit and we bonded.

I am older now, and I live in London, and often see memes of young people who hide their family wealth so they can live in Hackney and pretend. Bit like the modern version of Blur’s Common People.

Also - one my best and dearest friends in all the world went to boarding school. I met her at Durham. But she was the only “privileged” person I ended up being friends with, despite it feeling like the majority of the people I met there were not only private school people, but boarding school people.

DS1 is there, he has just come home to revise. He is very introverted, doesn't drink etc and seems to be really having a great time - he went to history society pub crawl and apparently just 'walked along' with them.

He is state school educated and lives in social housing, he hasn't mentioned anything at all, bar some of the students in the other flats sometimes coming to his flat for pres and talking about rowing, which he thought was boring. He is moving in with two people next year who went to private school, one is his flatmate right now, but he never mentions it, only when we asked when he moved in what school they went to as they live nearby in home town.

A poster above mentioned that they didn't feel able to speak up in seminars etc because the private school kids with confidence dominated - but I don't think this should mean we all stick in our lanes and have to only be surrounded by people like ourselves (I know they were not suggesting that at all). In seminars, there will always be some who dominate. I went to a uni with a high number of very mature students - who often dominated, until the rest of us spoke up.

I think I agree with others I would really try to get her to make the Offer Holder Day.

Totally agree with this

basically you seek out people that don’t make you feel shit about yourself

My state educated, not at all posh son is at Edinburgh University. He has had no problems at all, and is now really friendly with lots of the so-called yah’s. Turns out most of them are just people.

My mind boggles that staff would ever mock a student's accent, particularly with the number of international students as well. How very parochial of them.

Dd is having a great time. I think there’s a certain set who like to stay together and to them she doesn’t belong but she doesn’t want to either. They’re in the more expensive catered halls. She’s made friends with her hall mates and yes they come from a lot of money but she’s got great friendships now. Some do sport and she doesn’t but they have lots of other things in common. Took her a while to make a friend on her course which is one rich kids do but she’s made one now. She’s never been intimidated by them though which is great.

It’s pulp btw

Oh god whoops! It’s one of my favourite songs of all time. I can’t believe I wrote Blur! (Insert facepalm emoji here!)

That would have got you into serious trouble in the 90s😂

@TheSixQuarks would your son recommend any particular halls?

They would be. Edinburgh is roughly 1/3 Scottish/EU, 1/3 RoUK, 1/3 RoW.

I think if your child is quiet-ish then Kincaids might not suit, it’s right in the going out area but big and diverse. Maybe one of Warrenders, Riego St (close to art school), Mylnes Court, south Clerk st. Pollock is definitely where most of the privately educated kids go.

I went to Bristol - I wasn’t bullied but felt very out of place with the pashmina crew, who went skiing a lot and asked me which school I went to (not interested when it wasn’t a famous one). I did find it isolating but it probably made me stronger and more confident in the end. I realised the pink shirt brigade weren’t any better than me!

I went to Glasgow (law) and it was packed to the rafters with private school kids, mostly from the local Glasgow private schools with the students living at home. I can't say it ever bothered me one way or the other but I did end up being more friendly with other state schools kids.

My boyfriend at the time lived in Pollock and it was absolutely full of tossers (him included 😀) but I was very jealous of them having their meals provided.

I've heard it's fine.

I think the point that most people overlook in these discussions, is that most rich people send their children to state schools.

This is true in every income decile. So if your child went to a state school, it’s likely they had some very rich class mates and some who went on ski holidays and foreign summer holidays too and who will get a nice allowance at university.

The idea that all state school pupils are impoverished, just-getting by, working 2 jobs students and private school pupils are flashing their wads of cash is absurd.

This thread is no different to people worrying about London universities “because they’re full of international students”.

We need to encourage our young people to be open-minded and not judge a book by its cover. In the world of work they will need to be (at least) tolerant of all types and we do not help them prepare by “othering” those of different backgrounds and pre-judging whether they will get along.

She should aim to join clubs she interested in
Do some basic self defence classes around how to walk away from situations
She will meet different people wherever she goes
If she likes course city etc and vibe on open day she should list it

I like the self defence idea! She's not much of a joiner but if she has just one friend to do something with she'll give it a try.
I just want her to be happy and the stuff in the media gave me the heebie jeebies! She's open minded and non judgemental herself, but also possibly quite naive.