State school kids at Edinburgh university- how bad is it for them?

[StartingAgainFGS]

I keep hearing reports of state school kids not fitting in at Edinburgh uni (at best) and at worst some real bullying going on. Heard it described on here as "pony club bullying". We are very far away from the private school demographic and I wonder how my DD would cope. We would be scraping by to send her there in the first place and I would not like her to feel so out of place that she's uncomfortable/unhappy.
Are these reports exaggerated? Does anyone have a state school DC there?
Thanks!

@ViolasandVioletsI'm not saying some people won’t judge. Of course people do. Those people will be assessing whether you’re a fit before they know what school you go to. I’m saying that not everyone who asks that question is judging. Sometimes they’re just making connections, small talk, whatever…

My DC is just about to start in Edinburgh, following his older sibling. I would not like him to make negative assumptions about anyone he meets there.

@TheSixQuarks It really is not just Edinburgh. Eg when students stay local for university, that question is asked too as accent is noted. It’s a reasonable question and most people are not going to care. If you just have resilience and confidence it’s simply an icebreaker. Otherwise what question should be asked?

I’m sure it’s not just Edinburgh. But this thread is about Edinburgh so that’s why I singled Edinburgh out. I don’t know how well you know Edinburgh but it is a longstanding stereotype that the first question you get asked in Edinburgh (everywhere, not just uni, all ages) is what school did you go to? Probably because there are so many private schools in Edinburgh and lots of crossover between them socially in a small city. The first question you get asked in Glasgow is, apparently, what team do you support? Of course people ask that in other cities, but the cliche about that being the first question that you get in Edinburgh feeds into the stereotypes.

Agree.

One of my friends who grew up in Glasgow says sometimes in Scotland 'what school did you go to?' is a way of finding out if you are protestant or catholic!

I think the earlier suggestion of 'you won't have heard of it' deflects this question well. I also agree that sometimes it is used to judge, but in a lot of cases it's used to try to connect, albeit a bit clumsily.

@StartingAgainFGS if you're still reading, your DD will be fine. It's a big university with a real mix of students and heaps of Scottish state school pupils among them. She will find her people.

I went to Edinburgh uni in the 90s as a northern "state school kid" and I had no problems. Most people were privately educated but very normal, like my own school friends, on the whole. It was good to meet all types of people from all over the world. The really obnoxious stereotypically posh types could be easily avoided, so unless things have changed dramatically I wouldn't worry.

Important to remember that there are plenty of posh kids at State schools too!

@Youngerthanthatnow Asking what team do you support in Glasgow is 100% about religion. Celtic or Rangers. It’s a long standing sectarian divide. The answer determines who you are, what religion you are and a great deal will flow from that.

Yes but that's a bit more overt, @TizerorFizz , even to an immigrant like me! The school one I hadn't realised until my friend pointed it out.

Definitely but my point is it’s a stereotype. I’ve lived in Glasgow for most of my life and never hear that question. The Edinburgh stereotype is the school question.

I don’t think asking about school is a hidden pitfall. It’s not a stereotype either. For many it’s a genuine question to see if they have anything in common.

There’s a massive assumption that these 18 year olds know the names of all private schools anyway! They absolutely won’t unless they are from Edinburgh and speak to someone from Edinburgh for example. Overseas students won’t have a clue! The school question is greatly overplayed. If I replied “Pipers Corner”, “Akeley Wood”, or “The Royal Latin School” would you know which was which in terms of state or private if you were not from my area? I bet you would not. Even delving deeper you might not spot the difference. The only time it is of any consequence is where dc replies Eton or a widely known “name” school. However these students are rare!

Students of all stripes grow up in bubbles. It is one of the joys of going to university that you expand your horizons and meet others outside your bubble. For a certain group of students that bubble may include just a dozen very expensive private schools. For others it might be the area of Glasgow they live in, or a world of competitive sports. When they first head to university they can be very naive about the world and people outside the circle they previously mixed with. It is really only to be expected that they will make faux pas from time to time. As previously mentioned, a degree of resilience is helpful.

@ViolasandViolets The student group that goes to very expensive boarding schools is tiny though. Most students never know them or meet them. They don’t rock up with labels on.

But that is the only group for whom the question ‘which school did you attend’ makes any sense without having previously established you share location knowledge (eg you come from Manchester too? Which school did you attend?). There are around 1500 private secondary schools and over 4000 state secondaries.

@ViolasandViolets Well yes. As a first question as suggested here, it’s meaningless.

I see no one knows the schools I posted below! It’s tricky when you don’t know where someone comes from. Also there’s a big difference between generations boarding and being a first time buyer.

Was thinking about this thread when I had dinner with some friends the other night. One friend, who comes from a very leftie liberal background and went to state school, said that she had basically been taught to hate privately educated people by her parents, and when she got to Uni she shunned all the private school kids until she realised that many of them were very nice! Her children were educated privately, much to the chagrin of her parents....

Prejudice can definitely go both ways.

@Vargas My DN would not even engage with dc she perceived as better off and the wrong sort of mc child at her bog standard comp! Even her mum said she was not making friends based on dc being too middle class - in South Yorkshire! Both her parents have degrees, home owners etc . Now NC with her cousins on the same basis. University chosen on where her type of dc were more likely to go. It’s all very prejudiced, comfortable and actually self limiting to stay in the bubble you choose . It’s not showing any respect to anyone else. Background doesn’t determine how nice you are!