Regrets about Oxbridge rejectiin...bought up by New Edwards

[mids2019]

So part of Huws apparent mental health struggles was apparently feel seated low self esteem partly by failure to get into Oxford when perhaps he was expected to and he was surrounded by Oxbridge educated peers at the BBC.

Moving away from. The odious crime do you think spoke can have such a deep seated reaction to Oxbridge rejection and does it least??

@TarantinoIsAMisogynist wow, I love what you've written, so very true. I know a man who had this experience with QPR and it's brutal, absolutely brutal.

Oxbridge is so random. I went many years ago and the tutors are so clueless about who they wanted that I got asked to leave after a term and then ended up getting the top mark for my subject in my degree. So not only can they not tell who's going to do well at interview, they can't even after a term of teaching.

People seem to always want to rationalise getting or not getting an offer. Oh they would have come across as arrogant, oh they mucked up one interview, oh their subject interest is too esoteric. When in reality, almost everyone who applies is perfectly able and beyond a certain base qualification it's pretty random. The idea that these tutors have some magical ability to spot they want in a 17-year-old in a 30 minute interview is nonsense.

I heard a guy on the radio saying that part of reason the last tory government was so crap was because it was filled with Oxford graduates who assumed that their 'achievement' in getting in aged 17 meant they were well equipped to run the country. Which they weren't. He pointed out that when Boris Johnson applied, two out of three classics applicants got a place (and those applicants weren't the brightest either) so it was hardly the pinnacle of intellectual brilliance.

(top mark in my subject in my college, I hasten to add, not in the university! I was good at exams, but not that good)

failure for many is a good thing in life. I was asked to write about 40 years in law and I wrote about my failures fairly recently. They can be just as important as successes.

However I don't know how a failure will impact one person over another so not for me to say who is affected by it and who not. I didn't try Oxbridge. My younger sibling was first person ever to go from our school and that was fine - no 7th form entry at our school but Oxbridge was allowing upper sixth entgry (although our younger sibling in a different school did 7th form entry a few years later and also got in). I have never felt different from my siblings for not having gone. It has not held me back as a London lawyer or anything like that. In fact it was probably good for me. I sat scholarship exams 3 x 3 hours for university and won one, I had best A levels in school, scholarship for being top of year 1 at university, top in 2 subjects (one was joint top ) in year 3 - I was the bee's knees in a sense for not going to Oxbridge and aimed high and did well.

@TarantinoIsAMisogynist

OK not an exact comparison but ai was talking maybe of a students perception rather than objective reality.

I think hopefully there have been massive strides in supporting young footballers as psychologically and materially there is a huge impact.

Oxbridge acceptance rate is about 1 in 5? So about 30k applicants don't get in each year. So there are well over a million people walking around this country right now who've had that experience, and very few of them are sex offenders.

Agree re football academies. You’ve comprehensively failed at 15 at the one career you ever envisaged. On the upside, academies are now far more responsible in preparing their students for this, and giving them a proper education while they are at the academy. DH used to work at a PL club, and their academy kids had their lessons at a well-regarded nearby private school.

in reality, almost everyone who applies is perfectly able and beyond a certain base qualification it's pretty random. The idea that these tutors have some magical ability to spot they want in a 17-year-old in a 30 minute interview is nonsense

Totally agree - I know lots of people who have been to either Oxbridge or other very good unis. With a few exceptions (insanely talented mathematicians), the Oxbridge lot aren't noticeably more intelligent than the others. The ratio of applicants to places is such that lots and lots of talented/clever people will miss out, every single year.

That's life. 10 talented, capable people can apply for a job, but if there's only one job then nine of them will be disappointed.

I didn't apply for Oxbridge, as I didn't think it was something that people like me could do (even though a teacher suggested it). I went to a very good uni nonetheless and have no regrets - I like the life and career that I've ended up making for myself.

The fact that Huw is stewing over this rejection decades later (he must be if it was mentioned in a psychologist's report), after a highly successful career, says a lot about his sense of entitlement. And how little genuine trauma or upset he has had in his life.

Rejection is a part of life. If you aren’t experiencing some rejection you aren’t trying hard enough. You are aiming too low.

Huw needs to shut up.

This

Also if someone comes from an elitist family or school they are less likely to be rejected. Can you imagine Boris Johnson for example getting into Oxford from a state school and normal background

I think it was a lot to do with looks, too, at least back in my day (late 90s). You could tell the tutors' "type" because the female students doing the same subject looked so similar to the other female students doing that subject in their college. (There would only be 3-4 in each year per college, so it was easy to spot).

Bloody hell! that’s so creepy Floralspecscase

Somebody needs to tell him he's embarrassing himself. He clearly has no idea.

I think rejection hurts and through obviously we all have to gain resilience in life but at the same time maybe be supportive of those that didn't make it.

This thread has been eye opening. It's completely normal to be rejected throughout life. How do people have such distorted expectations of their own importance? How can applicants not understand that Oxbridge is only for a select few. I'm not referring to the fairness or unfairness of the selection process, merely that the intake is limited and the number of applicants extremely high. Surely everyone who applies will be aware that they have a pretty small chance to actually get in. Otherwise they are being entitled, acting superior and not very savvy. Surely everyone will have favourite back up unis when they apply and some smart kids might omit Oxbridge altogether instead opting for what they know suits their personality, learning- and lifestyle preferences.

I got rejected from my favourite uni and ended up at one that is seen as lesser. It worked out well in the end, even though I was disappointed at the time. However, when I started my studies elsewhere I had such a great time and did well, so my rejection certainly didn't bother me for long.

The whole Oxbridge brand fetish is so obsessive and elitist, and anyway who would really want to be around such snobbery? Then again, I guess it gives sharp elbowed mums something to focus on as they live vicariously through their dc's anticipated or real Oxbridge experience.

I think it was the reaction of his academic Dad that made him feel like a failure at the time
God knows why he still carries it around now after all his achievements
Deeply weird ... and not entirely believable
A very complex man

Blaming his wife for not being intimate while grieving tells me everything I need to know about this tiny tiny man. Not a thought for anyone else - least of all the poor children whose abuse he enjoyed.

Most people in UK didn't get into Oxbridge. I didn't! I didn't try either, but it's hardly a reason to go and commit crimes.

Eton’s ex organ teacher was recently barred from ever being a teacher again. And he went to Cambridge. So as an indicator as to whether or not you go on to be a nonce, I’d say being rejected from Oxbridge is not one. Nor is gaslighting your wife into thinking that her not wanting to be intimate with you somehow means you have to act on your disgusting predilection for sexual interaction involving children.

My prediction is that Huw Edwards will end up in jail because he won’t be able to help himself reoffending during his suspension. He strikes me as a hugely arrogant man who considers himself above the law. The way he conducted himself attending court was disturbing - absolutely no shame or regret from the body language. I despair of sentencing guidelines which allowed a suspended sentence at all. There was a duty IMO to make an example of such a high profile offender.

On the matter of rejection, DC went to a selective school known for sending a large number to Oxbridge. School was very clear that everyone in the application group was intellectually capable of attending but not everyone would get a place and that they should not take rejection as some sort of failure - it just meant that for whatever reason their answers to /rapport with the interviewers to the most subjective part of the process (the interview) did not work out in that on that one day. They absolutely supported reapplying if grades were at the top of the scale, but most don’t - they move on quite quickly to other universities - a lot of which are overseas. Sometimes rejection is no bad thing to give a wider perspective to other opportunities out there.

I was an unwanted child and according to family was an academic failure.
I've never committed a crime and the only brush with anything legal was a speeding fine which was cancelled as the new speed limit sign from 40 to 30 was hidden by camper van parked on the pavement

I agree, especially re the Oxbridge fetish and especially on this site. It’s so weird and not reflective of real life IME anyway

Absolutely. Pathetic little man. Whining and blaming everyone else. Not one iota of remorse (other than that he got caught) and certainly no empathy for the victims who are abused and victimised for his sick perversion

I had a place and failed my A -Levels.
This was huge for me, and I still think 'what if' - of course - but it's done, in the past and can't be reversed so the energy is utterly pointless.

Rejection by Oxford.
His father.
His wife.

Everyone but Huw apparently. (and I speak as someone who was actually taught by his father).

Despicable defence tactic.

I came on to comment about the Oxford thing and then was so enraged by the stuff about his wife's unavailability (DURING THE TERMINAL ILLNESS OF HER MOTHER) that I had a rant and forgot to post my original point.

Our local 6th form college has an oxbridge stream for the most academic students. Several children I know were quite hurt at the experience of being dropped like a stone at the point they applied for other universities. They went from feeling very important and special to feeling of no consequence whatsoever. These are 16 and 17 year olds, so it's quite early to navigate an implicit message about your worth or otherwise. Obviously any reasonable adult knows that academic success is only a tiny part of your worth as a human being, but at that age, it can seem like the most important thing in the world.

And I do think one friend's child had their mental health deeply affected. They worked absolutely obsessively - to the point where every waking hour was timetabled and they felt guilty about watching an hour's TV - to get into a particularly challenging Cambridge maths course. They were a bright pupil who worked their socks off, got all A*s and narrowly failed the special Cambridge paper - which the inner city state school was not able to offer much support with. To work that hard and still fail deeply affected them for their undergraduate degree as they had never really considered what would happen if they didn't get in and struggled at their second choice uni.

So - I think it can have a deep affect on young people. But so can a million other things - growing up in poverty, failing your A levels completely, experiencing discrimination, being an outsider if you actually did get to Oxbridge. Which makes it utterly ludicrous that someone who made it to a place of national recognition and a salary that most of us could only dream of, dares to offer that as an excuse for his illegal and exploitative behaviour. Just sickening.

My Dad suffered horrific classism in the 70s when he was training to be a scientist with a working class Bermondsey accent. Both subtle and in your face outright hatred. Being called a rat, an East End git, you're not the kind of fellow we want etc. One of his elderly bosses at his retirement do was laughing saying how hard he'd tried to get rid of him.

He did not turn in to a filthy nonce though.

Awful, I bet your dad was twice (or multiple times) the man his bosses were. I am cringing for these snobs who have demonstrated they have no class whatsoever. Eurgh.