Uni starters 2024

[radiator2]

The countdown is on. Uni move in has started for some unis and is right around the corner for others. How are we all feeling? Wishing the best of luck to all freshers!

OMG! How do people get to 18 and start university and think that is how you behave? Horrendous.

How absolutely horrible. I got teased about my accent at uni - I didn't particularly like it but it wasn't at that awful level.

If she's willing I would suggest you going through the list of uni societies with her - not just identifying the activities she might be interested in but also the ones unlikely to attract horrible snobby people.

DD is off to a mid-ranking uni but could probably have "traded up" in Clearing. Posts like yours make me really glad she didn't - she'd probably have had pathetic people like this teasing her about her results not really being "good enough" for Russell Group.

@TheNuthatch I’m so sorry this is happening to your DD. It is bullying, plain and simple, and needs reporting. I do hope you can persuade her to speak to Student Services and ask for a move. She should not have to put up with living with people who treat her that way.

Oh my God, that's horrendous. Which house is she in? I'm happy to ask my dd to find her and speak to her if you'd like me to?@Nuthatch

@HPFA thank you. I'll talk her her about the societies. Tbh, I think we're in a death spiral now so I doubt she'll listen. I can't even persuade her to go and make a cup of tea.
I didn't expect this classism at all! Is it assumed that all northerners are thick and poor? It shouldn't matter, but dd is intelligent, kind, well dressed, well travelled and can hold a conversation with anyone. I know I'm biased, but she really is lovely. I don't understand why they perceive her as less than. You wouldn't know she has autism if you met her, it only effects her in very specific ways.
My ds is at medical school in Europe. He has the same background and 'coronation street' accent but has never experienced anything like this.
I hope your dd has a brilliant time. I wish I'd had your foresight and suggested a different university. We don't care that it's a russell group, we just want happy dc.

I'm so sorry @TheNuthatch , that sounds such a traumatic start and very upsetting for your DD and you.
You'd hope that if one person spoke like that to someone , others would call them out, not join in. I can't believe they would be so mean, especially when everyone is new and in the same boat.
I would definitely try to see if moving rooms was an option, just so that being in communal areas is not as stressful.

As an aside, my DD is in a flat with girls from Northern cities and she was teased (good naturedly by the sounds of it) for having a posh accent. It's not a RG or particularly highly thought of uni, if that makes any difference.

Honestly, I'm appalled at this. So so sorry

Thank you all for your help. I just wanted to add that the kids who my dd has had a bad experience with aren't in her flat, but they are in the same college as her. She has only met one of her flatmates, the rest are hiding in their rooms and havent joined in with any of the freshers events. The flatmate she has met seems to be a nice girl, but she has better things to do than help my dd out, which is fair enough.
My only hope is that dds other flatmates are nicer than everyone else in her college has been, if they ever emerge!
She still hasnt eaten as of 12pm today 😔

OMG @TheNuthatch that's absolutely appalling. My DD is also at York, and all her flat mates are lovely, they've all been welcoming and just accepted each other. DD and one of the others in her flat are also disabled, and no one has said a thing about that either. I hope this doesn't shake your DD's confidence too much, but please reassure her that everyone at York is not like those vile individuals.

@SooperOuting oh good I'm glad it's helped a bit

I think most DC at uni are a friendly bunch and on the whole very accepting of pretty much everyone.

Obviously there will be exceptions especially if they've been brought up to be a tad entitled and believe they're better than everyone else but fortunately there's not too many of those.

Oh @TheNuthatch

I feel sick to my stomach reading your post

It's very very unfortunate your DD has ended up in a flat with a bunch of entitled spoilt vicious posh bitches.

It's so sad that they think it's ok to talk to people like that. It's just vile that they've grown up surrounded by this behaviour as being the norm

I personally would jump in the car and go and sort out new accommodation for her and demand the uni do something about it.

My friends DD during covid was stuck in a flat with a bunch of bitchy posh bitches and had a miserable first year

In her second year she shared a flat with others like her would been stuck with equally vile flatmates. She got on fine with the new bunch

Oh thank god they're not in her flat

She'll be ok then I think and hopefully can chalk this down to a bad experience and will know to avoid those girls like the plague

Fingers crossed her flatmates will be normal

I'll be crossing York off the list them for DD next year

It'll be a definite no then for Durham and Exeter and possibly Leeds which is also full of those types

Please don’t write off whole universities to a ‘type’ after these few people behaved so badly. Bullies are everywhere and come from all sorts of backgrounds and so are decent people. I really hope your DD’s shy flatmates come out of their rooms and say hi soon @TheNuthatch or that she will be brave enough to go to a college event or something and meet some nicer people. Those girls are not doing themselves any favours and hopefully will be called out on their nastiness by someone soon.

Just spoke to dd, she has dusted herself off and is heading out to another freshers event this afternoon. This one is compulsary so all of her flatmates should be there. She's obviously still upset, but angry with it now which is an improvement! She seems a bit stronger today and I've reminded her to walk bloody tall, and be proud of who she is. Fingers crossed 🤞

Cardiff is a brilliant uni - DP went, I went as a mature student - excellent city for students

Wow, firstly, well done to your daughter for dusting herself off and going out today. I am aghast at her experience. Even the strongest person would find that hard to cope with. I really hope her flatmates are kind and she finds a lovely group of friends.
My daughter has been having a difficult start to university and finding it hard to fit in. She also has autism but on the surface you wouldn't know. She hasn't experienced outright bullying though. I dont even know if she will make it until the end of this week. It is so hard to watch them struggling.

Thank you 💐
I'm so sorry that your dd is having a hard time too. It's reassuring to hear that we're not alone though. I actually feel quite ill! It's a horrible feeling isn't it! I'm not functioning particularly well, and dh can't sleep. I hope things improve for both of our families x

Panicked message from DD earlier. She couldn't pick up her ID as she hadn't enrolled(!!) and so she wasn't officially a student. Reception (according to her) weren't very helpful and simply asked why it hadn't been done prior to arrival*

All sorted now - had to talk her down enough to focus on the 20 minute admin task. She now has her ID and is enrolled to start on 30 Sept.

*note: we had been suggesting she get all her admin up to date before we left on Saturday. For most of the previous 4 weeks she absolutely refused to engage in anything relating to university. She may have learned a lesson today.

So sorry to hear of your DD @TheNuthatch You'd think this kind of thing would be left in the playground, but there will alway be someone who thinks they're better. Well done to her for holding her head up and carrying on. Must be awful to be those girls and so insecure that you have to pick on someone else to make you feel better.

Amazing. Well done her x

Your poor daughter. They may have different accents but they have no class. What horrible badly brought up girls.

I went to somewhere traditionally full of Eton etc boys, and I never heard one of them take the mick out of any of my friends with regional accents. They weren't all my cup of tea necessarily, but they weren't assholes. The girls sound insecure and nasty.

I hope she enjoys the event and meets some nicer people, I'm sure she will. Walk tall is great advice. They have no more right to be there than she does, it's a level playing field once they're in.

My son was made fun of for being northern at Loughborough. Luckily he was able to shrug it off and it became his usp as everyone else seemed to be from London or Essex. They used to take the piss out of his accent.

But what evil little cows they are. She's earned her place and has every right to be there. Head high girl and rise above. Smile and wave.

Sorry to hear she’s had such an awful time so far. In awe of how strong she is to put herself back out there today and not let classist bitches ruin things for her. Wishing her the best time at uni!