Uni starters 2024

[radiator2]

The countdown is on. Uni move in has started for some unis and is right around the corner for others. How are we all feeling? Wishing the best of luck to all freshers!

Dropped our DD at LJMU yesterday too! The roads were busy and it was definitely carnage but could have been worse. Which accommodation building is she in?

My DD went out with her flatmates last night which I was really happy about. I had visions of her hiding in her room and not coming out all evening. They have gone out again today to explore the City. I definitely feel better knowing she is socialising and that she seems okay.

You should definitely feel proud of yourself. Raising strong, independent young people is a tough job and you have given her the confidence to go and spread her wings.

We did - she got extra time in exams due to being slow in writing so hoped for something to help with note taking etc etc. sent the report the SENCO at school gave but they said it wasn't enough

Still no one else on DDs flat

Aw thank you, it is, I think all parents need a pat on the back at this point. It is quite satisfying to set your fully fledged adult offspring free into the world, and feel overwhelmingly proud of them. Whilst I miss her, I’m just chuffed to bits with her.

I also feel better knowing she’s doing things and meeting people. Liverpool is such a wonderful city, they will all enjoy exploring it.

DD is in the Marybone buildings as she’s studying Nursing. DH just did loops round the block until we were fully unloaded. Was very relieved there was a lift albeit a small one, as she was on the top floor!

@mondaytosunday sending you hugs for your DDog. It’s so hard to let them go, especially at a time like this.

Liverpool is an amazing City and I think they will have great fun exploring it. My DD has been ready for this and I just hope she takes the opportunity to fully embrace student life. Study hard, work hard, play hard.

Our daughter is in Grand Central which is right next to Lime Street Station. Handy for when I want to visit 😁Her accommodation is nice and she likes her room mates which is a good start. Induction day tomorrow and meeting the people on her course. I just hope she enjoys her course and makes some friends from the people on her course too. x

That’s it, I can’t wait to visit her, gives me a good excuse to go to Liverpool as I love being there. It’s not a huge city so it’s not too overwhelming to navigate.

I think DH is taking it worse than I am. He proclaimed how sad it was when she didn’t have dinner with us last night, even though she is rarely around on a Saturday night anyway because she would be working 🤣 the family cat is also devastated as she normally crawls in with DD for cuddles.

it’s all going to take some getting used to but cheers to a new chapter for our DDs, who I’m sure will settle in and excel in their new studies and embrace their new lives in Liverpool. Big hugs!

DH has found it weird too. Mentioned how sad he felt walking past her bedroom this morning knowing she wasn't in there. Not calling her down for tea tonight and not making a portion for her like we normally would. Also going out to walk the dogs this morning and getting our shoes off the shoe rack and her shoes were not there beside ours where they normally are. Its the silly little things 😂

But I am excited for her and we are already planning on when we can go and visit her. Its a new era and a new chapter for her, and for us, as we are now officially empty nesters.

Lets hope both our girls thrive and excel in wonderful Liverpool. Big hugs back at you xx

I spoke to DD today and she sounded happier than yday. Then she video called me to show me how she'd sorted her room, I'm so happy she is going out with her flat mates tonight, because she is very shy.

We had quite a late moving in slot , which was meant to be 10 min, but as there was no one else using the (very tiny) carpark they were v relaxed and said take as long as we want. We took one load of stuff up, and then left DD to start sorting/unpacking while DH and I did 2 more trips to the car. That took about 25-30 min, even with 3 of us I think would have been impossible just from getting from carpark to flat in 10 min.
We saw no other flatmates or parents, I think DD would have been overwhelmed if there had been a party atmosphere and lots of other people at moving in time

@Lulubellamozarella

@Ujustcantandwont

I went to LJMU many years ago when it was still Liverpool Polytechnic - although as a postgrad not an undergrad.

It was one of the happiest years of my life - I had a wonderful time there. The city was great and the Poly seemed full of lovely, down to earth people.

Best of luck to your DDs.

Thanks for sharing that. That is good to hear. I really do think my DD will love uni life. We live in a semi rural area with not much going on and she has always had to travel to find 'something going on'. So this will be a real change for her, to have so much 'life' on her doorstep, but a change she has been more than ready for, for a couple of years now. I have a feeling she will come home at Christmas and be bored stiff and just want to go back! 😂

Thanks again xx

My main worry is that DS’s moving in date is Fri 20th and it is his 20th birthday on the 22nd. He has some welcome stuff on 23rd at 9am but has already organised a birthday weekend, he has 4 close friends who are either freshers or 2nd yrs in Cardiff so it is likely to be carnage. There is no chance of him making a 9am on the Monday. Hopefully, after a crazy weekend he will settle down and get on with course stuff.
There are advantages to a gap year, in that they are more confident and in DS ‘s case he has been working away from home during the week, but they are still daft buggers when it comes to celebrating anything.
At least he has floors to sleep on if he doesn’t make it back to halls. And if all else fails his cousin is still in Cardiff doing an MSc, although I’m not sure she’ll welcome half a rugby team to sleep on her sofas.
He has spent most of the last week going to leaving drinks, as I said any excuse.
And we still have to sort out his clothes.

So sorry about your news. We have applied for DSA but waiting for the assessment as we were late applying.

Dropped DS off yesterday. Very weird as there were lots of people moving on, but no one in his flat arrived until very late afternoon when two people moved in, they seemed quiet, but we left at that point.

He went out with a group yesterday from the building, but not his flat as they were still moving in. He says he is happy, and has worked out how to use the microwave, so should be good. Hopefully he will make some good friends this week.

Pat on the back for all of us, keep posting as they settle, it is nice to hear others experiences.

Dropped dd off in Newcastle yesterday. Her new flatmates all went out clubbing last night and are out again tonight. She’s autistic and this really isn’t her scene so she made her excuses! She did say her flatmates are nice, but she already feels a little out of it. It will take her a while to settle. Her biggest issue is the noise as we live in the country where you can hear a pin drop. She has already taken herself off to town and looked around the shops and has plans to occupy herself until the proper stuff begins next week. We don’t live far so she is able to pop up and down whenever. I’m very worried about her of course, but I’m hiding it for her sake. She can do it; I just hope she’ll meet some kindred spirits on her course.

DS moves in next weekend

I have no idea if he'll be sociable or retreat to his room

Probably a bit of both

He's got a friend moving into a nearby set of halls so whatever happens he'll know one person to initially explore with

He's not madly into clubbing but does go with friends. He'll go to pubs more often.

I think he'll love his new lease of freedom at his uni which imho is perfect for him because it's a lovely campus with loads to do but should be the type of environment where you bump into the same people quite easily once he's initially met them.

His halls look lovely with great size rooms with an en-suite and a decent size kitchen between up to 8

I'm very excited for him.

I'm intrigued as to how he navigates it all

He's got a younger sister so is used to all the drama at home that goes along with that so is tolerant of various states of emotion in other people. Luckily there is no current girlfriend to pine over or rush off to see every other weekend so he can get stuck in

We live to far for him to come home other than the holidays.

I'll miss him but I know he's ready for it all

I was sociable or friendly at least but shy at 18 but the more outgoing friends you make sort of swoop you up and make you embrace what uni has to offer if only so they have someone to go out with

It's all a balance of personalities really that muddle along and end up on an even keel

Sometimes you have to go to events you're not fond of because your friends want to go and then you end up loving it (or not)

I'm still friends now with my more extrovert friend from uni

She was brilliant at getting me out of my shell and gently coaxing me into situations I was uncomfortable with

She gave me so much confidence and I love her for that and her unconditional friendship

Dropped DS at the weekend. Moved him in Saturday and stayed in a hotel Saturday night and met him yesterday for lunch and a walk up the beach.
I know it’s going to be shit for him for a few weeks for a couple of reasons. He’s extremely shy has been his whole life so he’s going to struggle putting himself out there to make friends and he never wanted to be away from home so no sleepovers or anything. But he is strong and I’m proud of him wanting to do this and going off on his own.

I was surprised at how hard I found leaving him. I knew I’d be sad but was shocked at how upset I was. I work in his old school so have to tell all the people who ask today how he is without crying.

I love love love this post 🥰

As an extrovert myself, with an introverted DD who is nonetheless very sociable this is exactly what I wanted to read! DD has been so blessed with friends at both primary & secondary and hoping it’s the same for uni.

Sorry to write a negative post, but my dd isn't coping well. We dropped her off at Uni of York on Saturday. She has autism, but it's very mild. She struggles socially sometimes, but she's an absolute master at masking which gets her through most things.
She knew it would be a battle so she signed up for all the freshers events. She's fully aware that she needs to put herself out there to make friends, despite her instinct to hide in her room!

She went to an event with one girl from her flat. They got on a bus and met 5 others from her college. As they were travelling, 4 of them started talking about my dd's accent and putting her down, but they did is as if she wasn't sat there in front of them. She was mortified and didn't feel like she could defend herself, so she just froze. They were awful to her. She was on the phone in tears for two hours. She has quite a thick skin normally, but it really upset her. She said every single person she has met has a really posh accent and shes now paranoid about speaking. She was supposed to go clubbing later but she couldn't face it. She decided to go to the pre drinks instead, rather than hide away. It would have taken a lot of courage to walk into that room. Dd said as soon as she got there, a very posh girl told her to go back to her room if she wasn't joining them on the night out. She then heard the group taking the piss out of her accent as she walked away.
Dd hasn't left her room since. She is on the phone crying most of the time, and she hasn't eaten anything since we left on Saturday because she can't face going to the kitchen. She has crisps and biscuits in her room but nothing else.
I'm so angry! I have reminded her that she is a northerner, studying at a northern university, and she has every feckin right to speak how she does. How dare they 😡. Every person outside the university walls will speak in exactly the same accent as my dd!
I've messaged her this morning trying to get her to go and get some breakfast. I told her that I would chat to her whilst she was in the kitchen but she won't go. I'm obviously really upset, but I'm not letting her see or hear it. I just want to jump in the car and rescue her 😩.
I'm really worried about her. She has already booked a train to come home on Friday for the weekend, and I'm worried that she won't be able to go back on Sunday.
My older son is at uni abroad so this isn't my first rodeo. He never experienced anything like this!
Any ideas or advice?

Oh no @TheNuthatch, I'm so sorry for your daughter. This is your worst nightmare as a parent that this could happen. There will be some sort of student welfare officer. Can you persuade your daughter to contact them? This needs nipping in the bud now - moving rooms or something if needed.

Being devil's advocate, could the other girls have thought they were being funny? Could the "you need to go back to your room" have been that dry type of sarcastic humour that's fallen very very flat here? Doesn't matter to your daughter, of course, because she's upset. Poor girl, I'm so sorry she's had such a shit start but definitely steer her towards student welfare.

The people I went out with on my first night were not the people I eventually hung around with. After the first few days, I never even spoke to them ever again. She's been really brave putting herself out there @TheNuthatch but remind her (I'm sure you will) that these people are not the only people who are available as potential friends. My eldest never hung around with her flatmates, she found other ones. This settling in period can feel like forever but by this time next week, it may feel completely different for her if she just meets one person she clicks with.

Oh @TheNuthatch

That’s despicable of those horrible girls. Your poor DD.

Is she registered with disability services? I have an autistic DD who started this weekend and she is, (and she gave permission did them to speak to me). If I was you I’d probably call them and ask for advice. The other girls may not know your DD is autistic, but if they do then it’s arguably ableism but at the very least it’s bullying.

I’d encourage your DS to speak to disability and housing services. Maybe a flat change is possible?

Thank you. I've spoken to dd about student welfare but she's unwilling at the moment, so I would have to contact them behind her back. I'm not sure I feel comfortable betraying her trust but I will keep suggesting it.
My first thought was that she had taken that interaction the wrong way, because surely they wouldn't be that cruel!
So I asked dd to recount the whole event, verbatim. There is definitely no mistake!
She was told to 'fuck off back to her room'. As she was leaving the room, one of them said 'how the fuck does someone like that get into a russell group'. They all laughed and mimicked her.