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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Uni starters 2024

733 replies

radiator2 · 09/09/2024 12:04

The countdown is on. Uni move in has started for some unis and is right around the corner for others. How are we all feeling? Wishing the best of luck to all freshers!

OP posts:
Karmaisagod · 07/10/2024 10:23

Thank you! Your facetime with DD sounds lovely, too. Onwards and upwards! X

Lulubellamozarella · 07/10/2024 10:40

Karmaisagod · 07/10/2024 10:23

Thank you! Your facetime with DD sounds lovely, too. Onwards and upwards! X

Thanks. I think all we can do is just take everything week by week and hope that it all continues to keep going as smoothly as it currently is. But its a real rollercoaster of emotions. Some of which I didn't expect. xx

Investinmyself · 07/10/2024 11:05

@Karmaisagod it’s natural I think. I was happy to see my dc briefly at weekend and know she’s ok but it makes it all seem more real.

MirandaWest · 08/10/2024 13:21

Got a spidy sense that something wasn’t quite Ok with DD - her messages about being a bit ill and having lots of work made me think something wasn’t quite right so I called her. She’s doing history and Spanish and finding the Spanish part difficult partly as it probably is but also people aren’t asking questions much (including her) and she’s feeling worked about getting things wrong.

Think she was a bit glad to talk to me - I suggested talking to tutors at drop in sessions and also her personal tutor. I think being a few weeks in it is all possibly feeling a bit much in some ways. And she’s not been to choir due to voice not quite right (reasonable) but also too much work etc which makes me a bit more concerned.

She did say she’s enjoying history though which is good.

It’s reading week in a couple of weeks time and she’s planning to come here a bit which is good

Lulubellamozarella · 08/10/2024 13:53

MirandaWest · 08/10/2024 13:21

Got a spidy sense that something wasn’t quite Ok with DD - her messages about being a bit ill and having lots of work made me think something wasn’t quite right so I called her. She’s doing history and Spanish and finding the Spanish part difficult partly as it probably is but also people aren’t asking questions much (including her) and she’s feeling worked about getting things wrong.

Think she was a bit glad to talk to me - I suggested talking to tutors at drop in sessions and also her personal tutor. I think being a few weeks in it is all possibly feeling a bit much in some ways. And she’s not been to choir due to voice not quite right (reasonable) but also too much work etc which makes me a bit more concerned.

She did say she’s enjoying history though which is good.

It’s reading week in a couple of weeks time and she’s planning to come here a bit which is good

We just know don't we when something isn't quite right. My DD has been finding her course tough going and the workload is heavy. There have been elements of it she has struggled to grasp but did the right thing and spoke with her tutor who recommended some extra stuff she could access online to help her understand, which she did. She feels better now but I think initially she felt like she was out of her depth which is not something that she has ever felt before. But I think she realises that uni is going to require more concentration and dedication than anything she has done up until now.

She also has a reading week at the end of October and was planning to come home, which I think would do her good, but she has now been tempted by Halloween party invites so I guess we will see.

I think freshers week and those induction lessons eased them in and now its all full steam ahead which must be a shock to the system a bit.

I hope your DD feels better soon too xx

Original poster
radiator2 · 09/10/2024 19:48

I think she’s hit that dip I was afraid of. The academic work has started to pile up, she’s stressed with the amount of reading and work that she has to do. She likes and is friendly with all her flatmates but now she says she’s avoiding them. She said she doesn’t know why as they’re all nice and they went out together during freshers week but she’s really overwhelmed and being around anyone makes her want to cry, but she also doesn’t want to be alone. So we’re going to visit her a week on Saturday. She’s done so well so far made a few friends has been sending videos/photos of all the food she’s been cooking and has been out clubbing a little. I couldn’t be prouder of everything she’s done so far, as an introvert she’s really thrown herself into the deep end. I was expecting a dip at some point but it’s hard.

OP posts:
TrixieFatell · 09/10/2024 20:30

We had a visitor. She came home yesterday and we have just dropped her off at the train station again. Was so lovely to see her, we went out for dinner and today have just spent time together. She's really enjoying uni, loves where she lives and has a course friend too. She's back again next week as she has a dentist appointment, and then back for a weekend in a few weeks to work some shifts at her old job (they are happy to give her shifts when she needs some money) but I still cried waving her off.

@radiator2 I remember hitting that dip myself, and am waiting for my yp to hit it too. I also have an introvert and it's such a big thing for them to put themselves out there. I hope she gets over this dip soon and that you are okay too

MirandaWest · 09/10/2024 21:17

Had some texts from DD around 2pm today - she told me she had

a) arranged a meeting with her Spanish tutor
b) handed in her history assignment (which is due tomorrow)
c) filled in a form to apply for a bus pass (she had been procrastinating)
d) enjoyed her Spanish lecture
e) bought a large vodka

I did query whether she was in a pub or if she was necking it on a street corner. Turned out it was for this evening although she said she might fit in with some locals doing the latter 😃

Lulubellamozarella · 09/10/2024 21:18

radiator2 · 09/10/2024 19:48

I think she’s hit that dip I was afraid of. The academic work has started to pile up, she’s stressed with the amount of reading and work that she has to do. She likes and is friendly with all her flatmates but now she says she’s avoiding them. She said she doesn’t know why as they’re all nice and they went out together during freshers week but she’s really overwhelmed and being around anyone makes her want to cry, but she also doesn’t want to be alone. So we’re going to visit her a week on Saturday. She’s done so well so far made a few friends has been sending videos/photos of all the food she’s been cooking and has been out clubbing a little. I couldn’t be prouder of everything she’s done so far, as an introvert she’s really thrown herself into the deep end. I was expecting a dip at some point but it’s hard.

My DD messaged yesterday to say the workload is bonkers and she has felt a little stressed too and she is worried about dropping behind and struggling and being out of her depth. She is doing okay for now and keeping her head above water with it all but I think its been a bit of a shock to the system now the course has properly got going.

I think a bit of a wobble will come to all of them as they continue to find their feet and cope with the change.

I hope she gets past it quickly. Its tough for us parents to know they are having a wobble.

Comefromaway · 09/10/2024 22:29

For the first time in her educational life dd seems to have friends & a social life. Tonight (despite her grandparents owning a table) she discovered she’s rubbish at playing pool & offered to organise the next social at a go karting track.

She did a group presentation today which went well. She was worried about group work as it’s always been an issue in the past

Karmaisagod · 10/10/2024 07:17

Lovely to read all your updates. Good luck to those young people who are struggling.

I've had very few academic updates from DD. She has said she likes her lectures, has been to the library, and is doing the required reading, but hasn't mentioned any pressures or demands yet. It is only week 2 for her, but I will start asking more about that.

MrsMcNallysMaureen · 10/10/2024 07:28

DD not enjoying lectures. She had her first tutorials this week and has enjoyed those. There's a lot of revision of content in lectures at the moment so hopefully they will get more interesting soon. Getting used to lectures is a big thing after being in small classes with a familiar adult.
I hope our young people settle in to enjoy it. I didn't feel OK with it until after Christmas. It can take time. I feel like DD has been gone for ages but it is really no time at all!

SedentaryCat · 10/10/2024 09:05

Interesting day yesterday. DD phoned in a bit of a, well, not panic as such, but she's been on an NHS waiting list for something and has decided that she can't wait any longer (it's been a couple of years and the list very long). She says she's planning to spend her loan and get a job so that she can go private.

She'd had a meeting with someone at the university yesterday who told her that it was possible to go private and that it wasn't 'that expensive'. I am a bit Hmm that this advice would be given.

DD isn't a patient sort and I think wanted me to say it was OK and that she could just go ahead and blow all her money. I didn't. Managed to talk her down a bit and suggest that she explore other options - including registering with a GP there...this has been a bit of an issue for some reason.

Anyhow, along with that and her developing alcoholism (I am not joking - I will need to take her in hand) I haven't slept much last night.

It's interesting that many of our young people are hitting the dip about now - it's all become quite real and they are in that difficult stage where the 'newness' of it all has rubbed off and the work has ramped up.

I hope you all have a great day and that nothing too challenging comes up.

I'm off for a strong cofffee!

HistoryMmam · 10/10/2024 09:29

Comefromaway · 09/10/2024 22:29

For the first time in her educational life dd seems to have friends & a social life. Tonight (despite her grandparents owning a table) she discovered she’s rubbish at playing pool & offered to organise the next social at a go karting track.

She did a group presentation today which went well. She was worried about group work as it’s always been an issue in the past

This is wonderful news. You must be so happy @Comefromaway.

Karmaisagod · 10/10/2024 12:03

@SedentaryCat , I too have some concerns about drinking levels, so I empathise.

It sounds like you handled the medical thing very well. Things are at a funny stage with uni-age kids. We absolutely can't tell them what to do, and they need to learn for themselves, but some things are too big to be seen just as a learning opportunity, and gentle, diplomatic steering is needed. I'm sorry it cost you your sleep. Our kids often do, as babies and older! I hope your day gets better.

atesomanybananas · 10/10/2024 13:03

DC’s more or less been sent home by the college! They have fibromyalgia and have been struggling for days, but determined to keep going. But yesterday they just couldn’t. Within an hour of their tearful call I was on the road (5 hour round trip) and they’re still in bed now…. I truly get the feeling that they’re loving the course, location and have made great friends. But the fibromyalgia is beyond horrible. A few days TLC is needed.

MrsMcNallysMaureen · 10/10/2024 20:14

I hope the coffee has helped @SedentaryCat sounds like you handled the situation well. I do wonder at someone from the university giving that sort of advice!
I hope your DC is OK @atesomanybananas . Sometimes they just need a parent to look after them.

Feeltoooldtostudybutdoingitanyway · 10/10/2024 21:44

Sorry to hear of all the struggles some of you are going through. Pleased to hear all the tales of children settling in, making friends, managing lectures.

My ds is back home, he's got a nasty dose of freshers flu & has been asleep since early evening. Hoping some rest & home cooking helps him shake it off.

DoctorMartin · 10/10/2024 22:55

A warning - saw dd today and actually seeing her for 2 hours made things worse! I burst into tears when I saw her and cried when we said goodbye. I'd been absolutely fine dropping her off and ever since so feel like going to see her was counterproductive for me!! Now i suddenly realise how much I miss her...

Investinmyself · 11/10/2024 10:19

@DoctorMartin I think it’s common, I have definitely felt more upset leaving dd after seeing her than drop off. It feels more like this is reality.
DD came back for a very flying visit at weekend (mainly to go to a concert and stayed with her friend at a local ish uni halls) she had a good time but it wasn’t a patch on her uni in her opinion and she said she’s definitely made right decision going quite far away.
Shes been showing us photos of her flatmates, the work she has, and is very happy with her flat, keen to get back - they were messaging away on their group chat.
They are planning a massive all block Halloween party she was talking away about.
She has a lot of work and I just keep saying don’t get behind as I know she stresses if she does.
She’s done nothing re sorting DSA but all I can do is remind her..

GetDownkeith · 12/10/2024 08:49

@DoctorMartin thats something I’ve been thinking about. I’m seeing do in a couple of weeks and I’m worried it upsets me or him.
be seems to have been doing well. He’s been hanging out with the friend he made week 1 and is obviously talking to other people because he mentions things he’s said. He’s not into the pub and neither is the good friend he’s made said friend did go to a club one night when ds was ill and wasn’t a fan so they are doing other things they enjoy.

Original poster
radiator2 · 16/10/2024 18:14

I’d hoped things would’ve improved by now. I guess they have a bit. DD is ok going into the kitchen etc again now but she’s concerned about friends. she’s made around 3 friends outside of her flat and is friendly with everyone in her flat but she says she feels like they’re all more friendly with each other compared to her. The concern right now is 2nd year houses, landlords are starting to release properties to be views and apparently people around her are starting to decide who they want to share with but she doesn’t feel close enough to anyone right now to commit to sharing with them

OP posts:
HewasH2O · 16/10/2024 18:17

There will ALWAYS be another/better house or flat. It's FOMO in flat form which drives the initial flurry of activity.

Karmaisagod · 16/10/2024 18:21

HewasH2O · 16/10/2024 18:17

There will ALWAYS be another/better house or flat. It's FOMO in flat form which drives the initial flurry of activity.

Yes, we were warned about that. I've not heard anything yet from DD about next year's accommodation. Don't know if that's good or bad! But I'm happy that she's leaving it for a bit.

Buzzyfeeder · 16/10/2024 19:44

radiator2 · 16/10/2024 18:14

I’d hoped things would’ve improved by now. I guess they have a bit. DD is ok going into the kitchen etc again now but she’s concerned about friends. she’s made around 3 friends outside of her flat and is friendly with everyone in her flat but she says she feels like they’re all more friendly with each other compared to her. The concern right now is 2nd year houses, landlords are starting to release properties to be views and apparently people around her are starting to decide who they want to share with but she doesn’t feel close enough to anyone right now to commit to sharing with them

This could be my post, my dd in exactly the same position. She is convinced her flat mates are closer with each other than her. She has more teaching time than they do, so they are spending more time together. So tough knowing she is lonely, I too had hoped things would be improving. She has made two friends but one has a boyfriend and the other is leaving at Christmas so there may be a bumpy road ahead for a while yet. Radiator2 I hope things improve for your dd soon, something slightly reassuring about knowing others feeling the same right now.