Uni starters 2024

[radiator2]

The countdown is on. Uni move in has started for some unis and is right around the corner for others. How are we all feeling? Wishing the best of luck to all freshers!

Sorry to hear that but glad to know DD isn’t the only one. Sounds like our DDs are in the same boat. In DDs flat a couple of them do the same subjects or are in the same society, which has helped them to bond. DD also has more contact hours than them so they have more time together. some of them have barely any contact hours so sit around together all day bored and end up making plans. I don’t think DD is being left out but with them spending more time together they’re organising things to do and DD isn’t included. They all have been nice to her I think it’s just a case of if ur there when plans are being made ur invited but if not ur not invited even if whatever’s being planned isn’t for another week. She’s done spur of the moment things with them before. She’s in a flat of 10 so naturally there are clique's, and it’s too big of a flat to all share next year. On a brighter note she’s gotten a bit closer to one of her friends this week, i just wish her experience was a bit brighter all around. Doesn’t help she had freshers flu for 2 weeks which knocked her out, she could barely leave bed and so missed some bonding time and lectures.

@radiator2 and @Buzzyfeeder , I also hope things improve for your girls. It sounds like the flatmates could be a little kinder and more thoughtful to ensure others are being left out.

Agree!
It's a bit of shock to me to even think about next year's accommodation at this moment as it's not even a month or around 1 month into their uni life. 😱😱😱

Thank you. I do think there’s a problem with being inconsiderate. One of the flatmates opens an invite to everyone when she goes clubbing etc but some other will just say me and flatmate 1 & 2 are going out and won’t ask if anyone else wants to go. I’m a little mad as DD made plans with some of them the other day and she made a point to invite another flatmate who went with them. The flatmate she invited enjoyed the activity so much she’s been again with other flatmates, spoken about it in front of DD and not invited her. Part of me feels like telling her not to include the other flatmate again but I’m rising above. They’re all friendly and I’m sure if DD asked to go with them they’d say yes but some of them seem to be inconsistent.

I think your a bit too involved in your child's life. I don't mean to sound harsh. My youngest went to university this year, I've got five children. It's difficult to accept that they are now adults but it's necessary for them.

@radiator2 thanks for understanding around my typo - of course I meant "others are NOT being left out".

It sounds like your poor DD is more considerate than those around her. Annoying for her and you. I can understand you wishing you could fix it for her. Perhaps she'll grow more comfortable at including herself when plans are being discussed in front of her. That's hard, though - I still find it hard and I'm an old woman. Perhaps a breezy "oh, that sounds fun! I'd love to come along." Easier said than done!

I am off to visit DD in a few days. I am so excited. I feel like I haven't seen her for months. It's only been one.

@MrsMcNallysMaureen have a lovely time.

We’re seeing DS next weekend, have a lovely catch up @MrsMcNallysMaureen

That's great news, @MrsMcNallysMaureen . Have a great time. DD is going through some changes - she has changed flat cos she had an annoying flatmate who was noisy at night, used her utensils without asking or washing them afterwards, and ate her food. She went to campus support and sorted it all out herself. I'm very impressed and reassured that she can negotiate difficulties.

Thank you @Investinmyself I am packing up now. Every time I am ready to leave, she sends a message asking me to bring something else adve I have to go searching through the house for stuff.
Let us know how it goes @SockFluffInTheBath I am ridiculously excited.

That is impressive @Karmaisagod I hope she is happier in her new place. You must be very relieved

@Karmaisagod Well done to your DD.

My DC has tackled the guy in the flat that doesn’t wash up and tidy away in the kitchen (rather than everyone else just grumbling and not sorting the issue) and is now organising the bin rota.

Thanks, @MrsMcNallysMaureen ! A part of me is relieved and proud she sorted it, and a small part is worried that she was struggling. Like many mums, I suspect, I hold a PhD in Worrying About My Child, and have an uncanny ability for always finding something to worry about 🤣.

I don't know if this will be any use to you, but if you're packing, may I suggest clippy skirt hangers? DD has realised they'd have come in very handy.

Wow, @Karmaisagod your DD seemed to handle that situation amazingly and good on her for getting out. Hope she loves her new flat and all goes well. Coming back from visiting DD, took her out for the day followed by a food shop. So nice to see her, and know that she’ll be ok. Didn’t realise how much I’d missed her until I saw her again. She doesn’t get a reading week so I probably won’t see her again until the Christmas holidays. Great to see her in person, so strange how quickly they change once they leave home. Hope everyone with visits coming up has an amazing time!

Pointless rant but I’m so annoyed. DS has really struggled since being at Uni, combination of ending up in a flat full of 2nd/3rd years, not finding his tribe and finding part of the course hard going.
He plays football and cycles. Didn’t get into any of the AU teams (didn’t expect him to tbh) but then also didn’t get into the IMS (halls) team either. He picked himself up from that and got invited for a trial this morning at the Cycle Team Development Squad. Literally called me 20 mins after he should have started and said he didn’t even make it out of the Uni grounds as part of the wheel sheared off his bike. It’s an expensive road bike, very well maintained so no idea what’s happened. He is in absolute bits and I don’t know what to do to make it better for him. This was the one and only trial so that chance has now gone. I’m absolutely gutted for him.

I'm so sorry. We have 'met' before but I have changed my name. (My son at Bath. Had discussions last year between Bath and Surrey).
Your ds seems to be having a run of bad luck. Is there no way he can try again with latest trial? Sport seems so stressful with competition for places. My ds not sporty but has joined casual sports club...

Ahh “hello” again! Honestly I’m just so fed up with it all tbh.
He knew going there would be competitive but this is a whole new level. This was the only opportunity apparently so that’s that for this year anyway.
He has worked so hard to get there and overcome so many obstacles, just feels so unfair.
I have said several times over the last couple of weeks I wish he’d gone to Surrey instead. I think he’d be much happier and have had a more inclusive experience.

What bad luck @mrsconradfisher could he join a fun or no prior ability sports team.

Problem is he has 12 years of prior ability…just not at the level they apparently want. He is less annoyed about the football than he is about the trial today.

Out of everything that’s gone wrong just trying to get him there, this feels like the worst thing as there is no way out of it. There is no other trial, it was today or next year. The way he feels at the moment I don’t think he’ll even make it to next year, he is so fed up.

Maybe encourage him to speak to student welfare. Is moving halls an option?

I don’t think it would make any difference tbh, think it’s gone beyond that. He has a meeting with his tutor on Monday but I think his mind is made up.

I think it might be worth your son contacting whoever runs the cycling trials and explain what happened. He's got nothing to lose by doing this. Which Uni is he at ?

Is he leaning towards cutting his losses and starting at a new uni 2026?

He already has and as far as I know from what they have said it’s too late to trial now (not that he currently has a bike as it’s in bits!)

He’s at Loughborough doing Sports Science. The irony of being at a Sports Uni and not even being able to play or participate in sport!

He already took a Gap year to get to Loughborough so I don’t think he’s got it in him to start again. This was his dream and so far it’s been a complete nightmare.