Uni starters 2024

[radiator2]

The countdown is on. Uni move in has started for some unis and is right around the corner for others. How are we all feeling? Wishing the best of luck to all freshers!

My DD is the same. At Glasgow too, living at QMR but flat mates not sociable, has joined some societies but not really clicked with anyone yet so she is lonely. She has requested a flat move to Murano but I fear she may just come home every weekend as we are an hour away and she has no tutorials or lectures on Fridays or Mondays

I think she had built it up in her head (thanks to social media) that it was going to be so great and it's not happened for her yet

@StoorieHoose , I hope it gets better for her.

@ThatsNotMyTeen , how is yours doing?

@mondaytosunday , I have been noticing how many fewer glasses are going into the dishwasher (DD is your classic "fresh glass every time and I'll keep them all in my room for a few days and bring 7 of them down at once" kind of girl), and it makes me sad 😔. So I even miss the bad stuff 🤣

My DD seems to be doing good and has been enjoying uni life. I am so happy about this and it makes it so much easier for me to know she is doing okay but its difficult coping with the lack of contact! She has never been great at texting and answering messages and now she is there its worse! The first couple of weeks I would get a message every other day or a reply to mine and now she is taking longer and longer to reply. Then when she does its just things like 'I'm doing okay Mum, how are you?'. I then answer and then get nothing back. DH and I were talking about it last night and I know I need to accept that this lower level of contact is just how things are going to be now. It is all part of the process of 'letting go' I guess. We have been Facetiming on a Sunday and I hope that I can at least keep that up so I get to see her beautiful face once a week and actually talk to her. God this is hard. But I guess I am lucky that she is happy and settled. The alternative would be worse, I know. But god I miss my girl😐😕

Sorry to hear that.
Mine chose 12 room murano as she wanted social. My dc says there are rooms available at Murano, she knows someone wanting to move in. Sidlaw and Cheviot are the refurbished blocks.
If she’s staying put there’s lots in queen Margaret on university of Glasgow parents facebook group, lots of USA parents on there.

I bought some extra glasses for us when doing the traditional ikea run and have only now realised that we probably don’t need them !

We’re sitting in a jam on the motorway finally heading for drop off - reading everyone’s posts has set the tone for me 😀

Good luck 🤞

I'm hoping we get to this point. DD is now into week 4 but she still phones just about every day. The minutiae of the conversation sometimes reminds me of my late dad, or uncle when they were really lonely and living on their own.

Today we were watching a film and she facetimed to speak to DS but then we all spoke to her and she was over an hour. She didn't seem too unhappy just in her room talking to us, drinking a cup of tea, eating some chocolate, but I'd love her to be socialising even if its just tea and chocolate, with friends her own age.

She particularly chose the accomodation she has because the kitchen was large and has 2 sofas and a tv , so it seemed like that was a sort of social area....but they don't really use it, which is a shame. Hopefully she'll get out more and feel less lonely soon, I know it's still early days. I just felt a bit sad that she was "virually" hanging out with us in our lounge at 10.30pm on a Saturday.

@Fizbosshoes I can well understand you feeling sad. For what it's worth, I think it's lovely that your DD knows you're there for her, and can seek comfort so openly from you, and that you can give it to her. Good luck ❤

I'm not surprised you feel a little sad. Sending your DC off to uni is harder than I thought it would be for a multitude of different reasons. The mixed emotions I have been feeling are bonkers! I think we all just want them to be happy, settled, have friends to be going out and enjoying life with so we can relax and just know they are doing well and living their best life.

I know I am struggling a little with the lack of contact from my DD but I also know the reason for it. But the adjustment has been difficult but I am slowly getting used to it.

I think its still pretty early days. I never went to uni but my DH did and he said this first term is all about settling and finding your people and that doesn't happen instantly for everyone. It took him a whole term to find his and he went home at weekends, every weekend for the first term. He then joined some new sports clubs and that is when uni life took off for him. As time goes on your DD will get to know more and more people and she may find her flat mates start to become more sociable too. Everyone is just trying to find her feet at this stage.

On the WIWIKAU Facebook group you can post on there and there are other students asking where the 'lonely' student is and offering to take them out with their friends. Sometimes its just something like this that can connect them to other people on their wavelength. I am sure those connections will come but I do feel for you. Your heart aches for them sometimes doesn't it?

Similar with our daughter, she's been home this weekend and is sad about going back. She's lonely. And feeling sad that this first couple of weeks hasn't been what she expected. Her friends all seem to have landed well with sociable flatmates and it makes her feel worse 😭.
It's so hard

DD rang last night and I ended up giving her a briefing on the Chagos Islands!

One of the modules on her InterPol course is "Behind the Headlines" where they'll basically be looking at hot-off-the-press news items chosen by the lecturer. My hunch is they'll think this is easier to handle than discussing events in the Middle East so I suggested she get herself ahead of the game! Says a lot for students living in their own bubble that she hadn't heard anything about the issue.

Did do a bit of "are you making friends" as well. She is but quite a few seem to be exchange students so she may have to start all over again in a few months!

It is so hard. My dd is saying she is not sure it is for her after 2 weeks and being so keen to get to uni and uni life. She told me how lonely she was feeling and it landed so hard. So many freshers feeling it and she hasn’t come home as too far, I know she needs to get through these first few months. She feels like everyone has found their people bar her. So tough to know she is lonely.

It’s very early days. Those who seem to have big friends groups are probably still at a very superficial friend level. Mine’s week 4 this week and only just starting her tutorials in one of the subjects. They will make friends on course and by joining societies and clubs.
Mine has been home for first time this weekend but mainly to see friends for a concert and she stayed at her friends uni halls last night. Been nice to see her albeit briefly.

Went to see my ds yesterday we had lunch and a walkabout. He's had lectures for a few weeks and enjoying them. He's not made a huge friend group but he's not one for huge gatherings. Made me really reflect about myself and how my own mum must have felt when I told her I was pregnant at 18 without any qualifications and in a relationship she knew wasn't right. I rang my mum the minute I got home for a chat.

I’m on a group for parents at my DS university. It’s bloody heartbreaking reading the posts asking if anyone else’s dc are lonely.

Is this a Facebook Group? I would like to connect with other parents at my DD's uni.

That is so sad though. Its actually heartbreaking because all we want is for them to be okay and to have a great experience. My DD's flat have adopted several others from flats where they are either not very sociable or someone has been left out. It is so hard for them but my DD said they are trying to include as many as they can in their group or if they see someone on their own are offering for them to join in.

Hi @Lulubellamozarella Yes, Facebook.

Your DD sounds wonderful @Lulubellamozarella

Thank you. She is a real kind girl with empathy for others and the other night they had a flat full of people from other flats who had struggled to find people to go out with or hadn't clicked with their own flat mates for whatever reason. I don't think they are the only ones doing it either and most people are being pretty good at making sure that others are not being left out. One of the girls from a neighbouring flat has become one of her best friends and that was because she was left out on a night out and she invited her along.

You must be incredibly proud of her @Lulubellamozarella

Thank you. I really am. It is just human nature to her to look out for other people. She has always been this way and I was beaming with pride tonight as she was telling me how they were going round making sure no-one was left out and inviting people to join their group.

You right to feel very proud of her @Lulubellamozarella I hope she had a fabulous time at university.

I really feel for those of you whose DC are lonely, and I hope things get better soon for them. It is very early days.

We went to see DD yesterday. DH was only with us for a bit before he headed to his sporting event, then she and I hung out in campus - I helped her tidy up and rearrange some things in her room, we did a wash and a shop, and I bought her and a friend from overseas dinner. It was nothing special and at the same time it felt glorious to spend time with her. I was so grateful that she let me share in her day like that. From when she was a toddler in childcare, it's always been important and helpful to me to be able to imagine her when she's away from me, and I now have a pretty good idea of what her daily life must be like.

As I was leaving we were both sad, and right after she got back to her room she called me in tears. She's delighted with her uni and has made plenty of friends, but seeing us understandably triggered some homesickness. It broke my heart a little, although I know it's normal, and a blip, but it made me realise how vulnerable she still is, in some ways. For the last two weeks she's been nothing but superpositive. I so wanted to rush back and cuddle her and make it alright. I feel rather blue today!

I'm so pleased that you had a lovely time seeing your DD. How lovely! It is testament to your wonderful relationship with her that it has triggered some feelings for both of you. It is okay for you both to feel sad and very normal under the circumstances. I am sure you will both settle back into things quickly and get into the swing again.

I had a Facetime call with my DD last night and we chatted for over an hour. She tells me all about her course, all the gossip, about her flat mates and tales of her nights out. We laughed and laughed and I didn't want to let her go but she was hungry and ready to go make herself some tea. But when I hung up I felt a little sad and had that pang of missing her terribly. My emotions go up and down but ultimately I am so excited and happy for her but a little sad for myself at times.

I hope your 'blue feeling' lifts as the day goes on xx