URGENT: How to help Dd Decide in next 2 weeks ???

[StripeyChina]

Dd has Autism, severe Dyslexia & Clinical Anxiety (poss ADHD but unmedicated).
Still requires a lot of support. Not yet independant re timetable, transport, cooking etc. Has had a gap year, volunteering at a local repair shop (special interest). MAY be offered part time paid work here (will know this week)
So, that seems the sensible route (plenty of home support) but shes watched her friends go to Uni & wants to go too. Shes seriously bright (seriously SEN too)

She applied to 3 Unis (5 courses). She has been offered a place on all 5.
MUST reply by 6 June or will lose places. But is paralysed by the 'hugeness' of it.
Because of her ASD, she finds it hard to know how she feels so wants to make the decision based on facts but is very anxious about it. As am I now!

We are in Scotland so if choose a Scottish Uni (#1 or 2) there are no fees to pay.

Uni #1: 90m away - commute not very practical (no car, poor public transport) Uni is average at best, poor experience with SEN support. Halls expensive & not great. Dd is not enthusiastic (unless it could be combined with the 'job' above?)

Uni #2: is the 'sensible' choice. Outstanding Uni reputation. Doing a subject that she is good at (previous good exam results & a private passion for plus highly employable too). But she isn't sure he wants to study it at Uni. She doesnt' much like the Uni, doesn't like the Town or the Halls. So, shes 'probably going there as its the sensible & Best one'. But there is no sense of excitement at all.

Uni #3: is the wild card. It's in London. So, FEES. It's a much wider course at a fairly new place (London Interdisciplinary School). Dd is much more nervous about the course material (as it's a very broad based curriculum & fairly open ended - seems to attract a lot of confident students?). BUT is also excited about it. Very excited about living in London. Likes the accomodation (can stay 3 yrs).
There are only around 60 students in the cohort, all studying the same degree, so it would be much smaller & easier to get to know students & staff. They seem to 'get' her already & have been very friendly (plus there might be a bursary!)

Right thats enough of an essay to start with (didnt' want to drip feed).
I think she might need actual straightforward advice at this point.

Can anyone help me think it through please?

I've finally had the chance to read the whole thread carefully now.
I'd like to thank everyone who has replied - it's very helpful to me indeed.
I'm also going to reply to some specific posts too.

@Phphion @OpusGiemuJavlo - thank you for your comments re LIS.
I was initially really sceptical. But Dd went down for an open day followed by a 2 day 'mini-sprint' (2 days of lectures, groupwork & presentations). It was fantastic. She loved the tiny cohort, the small 'campus', the way the lecturers & students all used the same small kitchen etc. Super-friendly & very interesting indeed.
I think a 'small private college/ extended 6th form experience' might suit her well
She does know London quite well as we've travelled down a lot & she really likes being somewhere anonymous & multicultural. She loves all the facilities around.
But your points about LIS are all true too. It is new. It is untested. She would struggle to come back to Scotland with that Degree & gain work from it. I can't see her affording to live in London long term so it would be more of a '3 years of fun experience' than a 'part of a long term employablity' experience.
So it probably makes more sense for her to do a CS (+cyber?) Degree at Abertay then do a Masters at LIS.

@poetryandwine re groupwork - she loves it but finds it draining. She does like a structured learning environment (which LIS is NOT) but also finds that constraining as she is almost entirely self taught. It is hard to know how she compares to other students at Abertay (or LIS). She has come in via the HNC route (did a Cyber HNC got top possible marks, was chosen to represent College on Turing Scheme on a 1m educational exchange in USA). I saw a meeting she had with the Sec of State for Education & it was amazing. She has potential.
BUT she is poor at exams, her handwriting is almost illegible (very Dyslexic) she has a lot of processing issues. Her lifeskills are low still & she has no confidence.
So she is quite a mixture of things - the very definition of a 'spiky profile'!
I do appreciate your general remarks about SEN students & what to watch for.
Can you pm me re peer group at A Uni please (I'm worried about this)

@SenDev's - thank you very much for your input. It is really interesting to me.
My Dd sounds quite similar to your H in that she is VERY Poor at written exams. But built 1st PC out of parts someone had put in a skip aged 9. Built first Server at age 14. Has made home 'Cloud'. Is volunteering at local PC repair shop & being sent out to local Co's to do their Networking (charging them £35 an hour & not paying her so really taking advantage). One Co has just offered her a job in electrical engineering as they were 'so impressed how she troubleshooots IT'.
That could be an option for her but she is short of the HMaths she needs there.

She might well be 'bored' in 1st year CS but that's fine - gives her more headspace to get lifeskills together. Even if she is way ahead she'll forget to turn her work in so it will be a bumpy ride anyway. But she seems reluctant to go to A as she would like to go to a bigger city with a more multicultural lifestyle.

There isn't a Uni she can commute from home to.
She has until 6 June to accept any offers.
This is REALLY helping me to think it through to best advise her so thank you all.

But what is she going to do to learn the essential life skills between now and September OP? Your main focus seems to be about the academic side despite so many posters clearly expressing their concerns that she won't be able to cope mentally.

Hi, OP -

This is very helpful. Congrats to your DD on her accomplishments!

Re LIS, I am struck by a PP saying that only about half the staff have PhDs. That really isn’t great, especially for what sounds such a research or project-orientated degree programme. Such a programme really should be led by established researchers.

I will PM you very shortly

Is there no way she’d accept a gap year then London? It sounds like if she could get a grip on the independence, life skills and resilience element (which the PT job will def help with) she could really fly there

@Hairyfairy01 Yes, this is the other very important side I agree.
We'd have only 12 weeks to install self reliance skills. I don't know how much is 'why do it yourself if you have a Mum' & how much is she can't. We will be finding out. I think catered halls would help but there aren't many in Scotland (that I know of). It may be better for her to do the p/t job for a year in prep.

@poetryandwine thank you. Yes - LIS would be a big gamble certainly.
Thanks for offering to pm me. I'll look out for it.

OP please be careful about taking sole advice from someone who has zero experience of Scottish Universities. Looking up the good uni guide and quiting stats but disregarding certain factors when it suits them is not really a helpful viewpoint. There are people on this thread that have far greater knowledge of uni A so I am incredibly worried about these PMs being sent potentially influencing a very important decision based on no experience whatsoever.

Like others I think the crash course in life skills could be a bit too rushed considering her current struggle in that area. I also have autism and ended up dropping out because of the struggles in the life side of things.

I would seriously have a look at study at home type courses, while they're not ranked as good, they would provide the opportunity to get the life skills up and running in a less sink or swim situation, you said she might get bored so at home would definitely free up room to keep the tech jobs she has, work on github projects etc, which would still put her in a good situation, good universities are a step in the door, but so are projects and real job experience at the same time. Open Uni is the obvious one, but UHI (so Scotland uni but remote learning) does a software dev degree in collaboration with IBM with a small cohort and they run it in sprints.

I honestly think you are underestimating the life skills needed. And by minimising setting her up to fail.
When she went down to London for the open day/sample lectures did you go with her because that’s very different to alone.
If she’s set on going and you only have 12 weeks then I think you need to encourage her to have a few days in London alone, her book the train etc and see. You can sometimes rent student halls in the hols.
How is she foodwise? Catered will only work if she’s ok with noisy environment, smells and not fussy.

I honestly think you are underestimating the life skills needed. And by minimising setting her up to fail

So do I. Just because someone likes the tube it doesn't mean they can live in London on their own in four months when they can't even get the bus alone today.

Why would you wait until summer for a crash course in independence when she only has two weeks to decide. Why can't she go to London for a few days before the deadline?

To take one life skill in isolation, being happy to find her way around the London tube system puts her way ahead of a lot of people, although that on its own probably isn't going to sustain her (btw, does she subscribe to YT channels of the likes of Geoff Marshall / Jago Hazzard? If not, she should give them a view).

I think this post has much to recommend it, OP, both in general terms and more especially coming from someone with autism.

My one disagreement is positive, because the OU is highly regarded by employers and has a network of local tutors throughout the UK as well as high quality materials for distance learning. They have even made some courses free and put them in the public domain. In many subjects a few such courses are not just elementary so it is possible your DD may find some that interest her.

Did she consider Edinburgh Uni's Interdisciplinary degree? No fees. Four years so less of a sprint and you can study outside courses throughout all 4 years so she could add in computing/ engineering. I know not as exciting as London but within an established uni. Plus she could come home or you/other family visit. Accomodation expensive but on average way below London prices if you avoid private halls.

My DD and her friend did 1st year modules when they were trialling courses. Academically serious - the data ethics course my DD did was taken by an ex-Google philosopher. The Student as Change Agents was in partnership with community businesses and people.

This sounds really interesting. I am rushed but in looking quickly I could not find the entry requirements. Do you happen to know them, @SandyIrving ? The OP’s DD has a stellar HNC and I think 7 (?) GCSEs with a ‘spikey profile’.

I am not going to get into the ins and outs of a particular university (because I dont know them that well!). I have had two children go through them though

However I know London really well. Was brought up there and whilst I dont live there anymore am within striking distance to go to the theatre, posh dinners etc.

It is overwelming even for me who knows it. Its noisy, people arent that friendly. Its almost everyone for themselves on the tubes, in queues etc.

If your duaghter cannot use a bus locally I honestly think you are setting her up to fail massively. I fear it could set her confidence back hugly for years to come

Website only frames in terms of standard qualifications (Highers, A Levels etc) so OPs DD would need to check with admissions. There are probably some basic qualifications needed in English and maybe Maths.

Edinburgh can be good with widening access if you get thru the algorithm to an admissions person.

Individual outside modules will have prerequisites. H maths or equivalent would be useful to open up more options. DD would recommend something to aid academic writing and communication.

@poetryandwine you are correct, Edinburgh has very very limited articulation from HNCs. Cyber not on list for any degrees.

Wfat happens to student funding if your dd starts at London then drops out? That’s 2 false starts. Would she then ne a le to take a place at a Scottish uni and still be funded?

Imo the transition to uni can be difficult. Add London factor plus distance. Then this seems more risky.

Option 2 sounds most sensible.

unless there is an option to try London drop out and still get a Scottish funded place.

OP, do you think your DD could do well in Higher Maths? How much in addition to HM would she need to pursue an Electrical Eng degree?

I ask because it is striking that this is one if the Scottish options that seems to enthuse her. And I don’t think she is ready for London, and I like others have doubts about LIS. EE on the other hand is a fab degree, highly employable.

@SandyIrving I think Edinburgh Uni Interdisciplinary Degree would be perfect!
(interestingly the Dean of LIS mentioned that his YP is going there this year too)
Only issue is the entry qualifications. Does anyone know a contact there please?
(as it's unlikely to feature in Clearing I would imagine...)

Dd is seriously interested in Data & Ethics - it was what she did her presentation to LIS on (she typed up 3K words effortlessly & did a video presentation too)

@Rummikub Dd had funding for HNC year.
No funding last year so no undergrad funding as yet.
I don't know if she would get funding if she did a course in London then dropped out & wanted to start in Scotland. I think a Scottish course is best (for many reasons) but Abertay possibly not right.

Taking Higher Maths (with no Nat5 but a GCSE instead & courses v different)
would require teaching. I don't know of a College that offers it within 35miles.

She'd need HMaths for an Engineering graduate apprenticeship too.
Place she is volunteering at have just offered 2 days a week paid employment as an Electrical & Electronic Engineering Technician. They are making noises about taking her f/t in due course (they are a new-ish co so looking at their bills) & her experience there possibly qualifying her for a graduate apprenticeship. She'd be happy to work there f/t for free if it meant experience & a grad apprenticeship (she could live at home super cheap). I don't see how you can complete a proper Degree with only 20% of time at Uni & 80% at work though ??

She could try to contact the school directly but they might redirect her to admissions (https://efi.ed.ac.uk/contact).

They are offering a free Data Ethics course atm if you DD is interested. Ehics lecturer my DD rated is Shannon Vallor.

Sounds as if engineering graduate apprenticeship could be a great way to go for undergraduate. She could supplement this with some short courses if not academic/busy enough for her.

OP,

It is super that Edinburgh Interdisc may suit your DD. I hope she is qualified, but I am writing in case she isn’t.

If she needs more qualifications to pursue a programme she is enthusiastic about, can you help her to see this as an investment in herself? I was asking about Maths only because you’d mentioned her interest in EE.
I think she needs to be excited about what she is doing at uni, because it won’t be clear sailing.

@StripeyChina
student funding for higher education begins at level 4. HNC is a level 4 course.

Might be worth checking how Scottish funding would work if London didn’t work out.

Hi, slight update:

Dd still 'not decided' / rabbit in headlights / loathe to even refer to it.
Meantime, has been offered a job 2 days a week in engineering field.
Low pay of course but small local firm making noises about taking on full time in due course & possible apprenticeship in partntership with local Uni next year (not a great Uni but still...)

The amount of stress even this has caused is considerable.
I suggested she accepts a Uni offer & reserves a room.
Then starts the job. There is time (just, 8 weeks or so) to see if she thinks the job will be the thing to go forward (so cancel the course & the room) or that it's not what she wants so she still has a Uni place.

Crucially I can see if she can manage 2 days a week fairly independantly.
If not I will try to persuade her to put off Uni for another time. Fingers crossed...

I know I'm really have to this but friends who have had nd children found that the hardest bit of living way from home was managing the shopping, cooking and cleaning aspect. I can't recommend catered halls enough. Food isn't always great but you know that they're being fed, don't need to find time for shopping and makes budgeting much easier.
Medical needs get a high priority on allocation of accommodation

The job sounds great. I don't think mine could cope with a job and Uni though. How about trying the job for a year and deferring Uni?