Current Oxford/Cambridge students support/chat continued (2)

[Panicmode1]

The other thread is nearly full so I took the liberty of starting a new one...

I do think the Covid years have affected them more than the Unis realise and I don't think they have necessarily taken that into consideration.

I also think life admin is more complicated and fragmented now than it ever was in my day: everything is on an app, tech not working as it should or as expected, not being able to speak to real humans when there are issues, or emails going into the void, not knowing who to contact when there are issues - those sorts of things, add to the stress.

You would be surprised at how aware (& supportive) the staff are. Strangely enough, they're not daft! Fascinating conversation with 2 of DD's tutors at graduation about how it often takes the full 3 years for many state school students to level the playing field with their privately educated colleagues, compounded by the fact that many were essentially abandoned in March 2020 by the state system whilst those in private schools often continued to be taught each day and had enrichment activities to ease them into university life in a strange new world.

Colleges are trying by inviting some to arrive a week or two before freshers week. DD was given support in her second year to help her with essay writing, as there was a general assumption she would have been taught how to do it in 6th form. That was one of the missing links. She hadn't been taught the whole A level maths syllabus, but had no idea what she didn't know until a 2nd year module had assumed knowledge she had never seen. They kindly suggested after a wasted term that she should pick something else to replace it.

I agree, many ds find the first year difficult in different ways. My ds was a 2020 Covid fresher. He really struggled in the first term (spent most of it either isolating or locked down) and ended up spending the rest of the year at home. Nothing could persuade him back. He managed well academically but at the expense of friends/social life. As a consequence he found going back to 2nd year difficult. Things have worked out and he had a very happy 3rd year and is enjoying his last. He says retrospectively that Covid affected his university experience mire than he realised at the time.

I would echo @HewasH2O 's comments. Staff do seem to be supportive on the whole.

The first year is a bit manic, but if they get through it, life seems a lot simpler in the 2nd and subsequent years. In the case of my DD, she was able to drop subjects she didn't enjoy (Maths) and focus on those she really did like.

Regarding graduations, we have just had this chat with my DF as DD2 (not O or C) graduates in July. He was able to watch the live stream of DD1's MA ceremony from the comfort of his flat and thoroughly enjoyed it. If he was younger and in better health, we might have taken him along but to be honest, he's beyond it now. It's always worth contacting the college to see if there are spare tickets. With the one we just went to, DD1 asked her college about 2 weeks out if there were any spare tickets and they had no problem getting her a ticket for DD2. People who asked earlier were turned down, so it might be worth waiting.

I agree @Teriyakieverything - all this modern paraphernalia of tech is quite a challenge for some DC. My DC1 found it a nightmare while DC2 has been fine. The need to use dual factor authentication, upload essays to portals, endlessly changing tutorials and lecture timetables just threw DC1 especially as the scaffold of school / home was swept away. He lost 10% off his prelims due to failure with the Yr 1 upload format when submitting last minute.

I think Oxford could do much more to help students with study skills for Uni. It is great the programme for some state school students but the other students they assume will simply transition with no problem. My DC was at a super state school with two uni educated students but it was the shock of self management of study that was so hard.

DC1 has though learnt a lot and is now much better equipped to face these unpleastanesses of modern life which most jobs require. It has been a real growing up phase which I suppose is part of the purpose of uni. They were very fortunate unlike @beeswain that they took a year out so didn't have to face the Covid disruption.

DD1 found her first term tough I think, especially as she’d had a gap year, so it was a bit of a baptism of fire being thrust back into the world of classes and essay writing! And also it’s an achievement to get to Cambridge, and when everyone’s really proud of you, I think it can be hard for the kids to say they aren’t feeling it.

But last term she made a lovely group of friends and relaxed a bit and now she’s a lot more settled. Not looking forward to the exams, mind!

Thank you for your advice everyone, it has been really helpful. We will have a sit down with MIL and discuss the options. Good luck with the exams to all your DCs these last 3 years have been some of the best of all our lives.

At Oxford each college should have an Academic Welfare Fellow. They can help sort out issues such as gaps in study skills. LMH also has an entire study skills centre which is open to students from other colleges upon referral. Blackwells has a big section in the Norrington Room on study skills and essay writing. There are university podcasts and webinars on study skills open to all. The support is there & publicised. Many students fear being found out as an imposter and are reluctant to ask for help.

How is everyone's DC getting along?

DC1's finals start tomorrow. 6 exams over the next ten days. With their consummate timing they split up with their partner last week but thankfully seem very focused on revision.

Due to father-in-law being admitted to a hospice nr Oxford we have an unexpected visit there this weekend. Will mean we catch Summer Eights - DC2 rowing all week. DC1 rowing Fri and Sat to destress from finals.... each to their own, I suggested keeping off the Pimms.

Can't believe DC1's three years are almost over....

Very good luck to him @Juja . DS's exams start 29 May - he's quite chilled and just wants them done now. He has a job lined up for August. I'm feeling quite emotional - they are about to enter the proper adult world now!

Good luck to those with exams approaching, particularly those in their final year.

DS has submitted his 4th year project and survived the viva. He has one remaining exam in early June: General Physics (can include anything from any core physics modules in Part IA, Part IB or Part II).

Then it's all garden parties and R&R (or in his case D&D) until graduation.

Best of luck to them both @Juja and @beeswain - and to @Ironoaks DS for his final exam in June. And to everyone else whose DCs have exams - whether first, second, third or 'beyond' years...😁

DS starts his exams on 3rd June - he also now has a girlfriend which is exciting - I was giving up hope of him having any romantic interest at university!!

We are going up for the final Saturday of May bumps and will hope to catch a glimpse of him; we are then going straight on up to Nottingham to pick up DD - can't believe she's finished the end of her first year already. DS is staying in Cambridge until the bitter end of term to enjoy the (hopeful) sunshine, May Balls, Pimms and punting! He starts his internship at the beginning of July.

Another one with a DC starting finals tomorrow morning. Nine papers in total. Good luck to all DC taking exams.

Good luck to all those with exams or project submissions.

DD is coming home for a week next week as so many of her friends are deep in revision or exams and Revs and Lola’s are not running their student nights and apparently going to Vinyl or mixing with townies is not the accepted thing. She has had a range of essays to write and has submitted all but one and will write her last one whilst at home then back in time for her one and only exam of Y1 and rehearsals for the May week (still getting used to calling the middle of June May!) show she is performing in. Her law friends have a completely different workload, such a difference.,

Coming up to end of Y1 DD has so far visited 17 colleges either for formals, rehearsals, shows or friend’s rooms. Definitely a lot of the work hard(ish) and play hard going on.

Good luck and good summers to all (that sounds like a HORRIFIC exam @Ironoaks)

Ds enjoyed his Fitzbillies revision brownies and just got his Lents blade delivered. I'm delighted to find that either they always make them with a hinge now or he asked for a hinge. Should mean that I don't have to struggle to transport it safely.

He does have exams too I believe. (Really should take it all more seriously I suppose. I guess while he seems OK I will just enjoy it).

Lol, I tripped over DD's blade on Friday whilst using her mirror @PermanentTemporary - it needs a proper home.

Good luck to all DC with exams.

DD is currently en route to S Korea via Paris to give a poster presentation at a conference. The Paris flight was £200 cheaper than going from London and she is getting a coach from London to Paris for £30 overnight. She's planning to spend some time in S Korea and then getting a ferry to Japan with a couple of mates so won't be back til mid-late June.

@Malbecfan what an amazing opportunity, hope it's a great experience for her.

Hello Malbec I hope she has a fabulous time! DS4 is just back from a funded trip to Australia to give a short presentation (15 mins?) and an even shorter q and a session. When I say funded, that required him to take a cost conscious flight - I chose not to enquire about the number of stars awarded to his accommodation - and he opted for flights on the type of Boeing whose doors seem to keep bursting off. I discovered this only when I decided to track his flight and chanced upon the plane mid Pacific Ocean with a note of the type of aircraft at the bottom of the page. He did actually make it back to Oxford in one piece, thankfully. I think he spent the same amount of time travelling as he did in Australia. Now waiting for his DPhil Viva.

Best of luck to those sitting exams. DS1 has almost finished his Dissertation and is due to hand it in in about a fortnight. Fortunately most of his experiments have gone well. One of his cohort has had a 'mare with poor results though and has very little to write about. DS1 will have a Viva at the beginning of July and then farewell to Oxford and back to London.

DD has finished her 2nd year exams and is getting stuck into a lab project.

Both are rowing this week. I'm attending a last formal at DS1's college on Friday night and will be drinking Pimms on Saturday at DD's college Boathouse. Happy Days!

Happy Days indeed HoneyMobster. I hesitate to say this as DD4 is making her way to Exam Schools for her first exam as I type, but assuming she emerges the other end from the long ordeal, our family's Oxford days are intended to draw to a close with all siblings signed up for a large dinner the night before her graduation, and those who can get the following day off from work are staying overnight, with my brother also coming over from Warsaw. It should be really lovely and the sun shining would be a big bonus. But for now, it's purely a question of fingers crossed. Lots of hurdles between now and then. Good luck all, again.

DS in the middle of finals now. Feels like extra pressure on him with his Master’s conditional offer.

Looking further (and optimistically) down the road, it would be great to have some advice on what to expect on degree ceremony day (DS has an early afternoon weekday slot in July). DS claims to have had nothing more from his college - do they tend to host anything with graduates and / or families? We have hotel sorted, but I’d like to know if afternoon tea post ceremony would be a good idea, or should we just plan on a booking for dinner? I’m sure that the old hands on here have given advice before, but it would really help to have a sense of what to expect .

LaundryFairy some colleges have an early lunch before the afternoon ceremony (Wadham did this), some have a full on magnificent drinks and tea with beautiful sandwiches and cakes in abundance in the afternoon (Queen's) and some (DD4's) host a drinks only event afterwards. I would book for dinner only and avoid booking an afternoon tea although that said, mine have always opted for dinner the evening before, so that they can do things with friends on the evening of the graduation. The afternoon ceremonies don't end especially early anyhow once people have milled around outside the Sheldonian but in reality I think it would be very unusual for a college to have nothing on in the afternoon and a tea booked elsewhere would remove you and your DS from the general crowd.

Thanks so much, Karolinska - that’s very helpful. We will look at evening bookings instead.

Hello everyone. Good luck with exams to all dc - it's no fun and must feel like the final mile of a marathon. And then of course into the great wide world.

My very small news is that I have been invited up to see the bumps on Saturday - so what do people wear?
I am guessing comfy shoes and casual summer dress?(me obviously, DH can wear trousers). Any tips? we're country folk so not used to these big city events😂.
Thank you in advance - you are all so helpful.

Anything that won't get you confused with the large Thames Water protest which is expected to take place @sytron!