Current Oxford/Cambridge students support/chat continued (2)

[Panicmode1]

The other thread is nearly full so I took the liberty of starting a new one...

@Teriyakieverything I'm glad she was able to sit it.
The Physics department seem to write their papers so that the mean mark will be somewhere between 45% and 55%. For one of DS's Part IB papers, the mean mark (before scaling) was 40%.

DS competed his three extended essays on Sunday for his options papers after two mocks for his core papers on Friday and Saturday. So that's a relief for him.

Finals start in four weeks...

@Juja that's an intense weekend.

@Ironoaks certainly was - I think he's pleased now 'only' to be focusing on finals - I can't believe it will all be over in 6 weeks... bar the three weeks of post finals punting!!

This appeared on my feed this morning (and no, I don't follow the page)...

Ouch.

😱oh dear

Maybe I'd better namechange. And be even more anonymous.

DC may or may not be doing OK. Their exams may or may not start a month today. I may or may not send a baked good from a retailer beginning with F to cheer them up for revision. Competition for a sporting team may be quite intense this term.

😁 don't think it's DS, but who knows!!

We saw him at the weekend - had a lovely evening with evensong and formal hall - 3 weeks until exams start for him, and he's stressed but coping OK and enjoying rowing...I hope we will make it up for May bumps.

Good luck to all of the DCs with their exams, whichever stage they are at!

Oh PermenentTemporary I feel your pain. MY kids are always telling me off for talking about them in some form or another. Only your child will recognize themselves I suspect (if they even could - I suspect none of our children go on mumsnet).

My child is finding their first year very tough and i am always worried about what to post on here. I want someone else to tell me it will all be ok, and everyone finds it a tough gig, but then I worry form that information I will make them recognizable.
And of course in real life we don't know anyone else at Oxford, so can't really compare notes.

EDIT: to add second f to of so it reads properly. Also am uncertain of z in recognize/recognizable but the computer shouts at me with an s 😂

Ohh....but I DIDN'T post on MN. There was an issue that got us worried last night.

I feel your pain @sytron . Sometimes I do wonder if they know they've signed up for this....but mustn't think like that.

Lol, DD would just yell at me on the phone, so unlikely to be her. She was very helpful earlier with an Excel issue I had. She's off to the Far East in a couple of weeks to a conference then having some down time exploring over there. Lucky sod!

Sounds fun @Malbecfan . Where will she explore?

Conference in Daegu @Teriyakieverything then catching a ferry to Japan and being a tourist there. DD2 spent 4 months in Japan in 2022 so has been telling DD1 where to go. I'm just jealous.

@sytron ds found their first year really tough and started to fall apart around this time. Prelims were stressful and emotional. Severe imposter syndrome. I really didn't think he'd go back for a second year ... but he did. This year has been completely different and he is in such a stronger place and truly having the time of his life.

Advice about graduation please. DS graduates from Oxford on July 26th first in family to attend any university. DS has booked the two tickets allowed for me and DH. Now sole surviving Grandparent has said she really wants to see him graduate. I haven’t had the heart to tell her yet that only two guests can go to the ceremony and neither DH or I really want to give up our tickets. What would anyone recommend she and DS2 could do to feel included during the service. Her health and mobility aren’t great but she still lives independently. Thanks in advance.

@sytron my DC like @Bapple had significant challenges in his first year and really started to flourish in Years 2 & has thoroughly enjoyed Year 3; both the academics and socially.

Thank you for all your supportive words about first years finding it tough. I am trying to be encouraging - me and DH are going down to visit in a week or so, and hopefully that will ease my worries. Certainly I will be used for various required purchases. They have a post next year on a club committee, so they obviously have a plan to stick around!

@KittyTinker - for my graduation (many moons ago) I paid for a video recording of the graduation for my grandparents to watch. I went and paid for it before the ceremony, and I seemed to feature a lot in the 'general shots' to set the scene (I think most people order it after the ceremony, so I am sure that was why I featured a lot!). I am sure there will be something you can order, or a weblink? I believe there are large screens outside but that might not work with limited mobility either.

Thank you Sytron I’ll ask my DS if he has heard about that being available.

So is it a Thing that the first year is generally tough for many at Oxbridge, and most find it easier in the second year?

Why would that be so? The adjustment of being top of their school to middle of the cohort? Adjusting to the immense workload? Lots to adjust to generally? Imposter's syndrome? The strain academically, mentally and emotionally does seem immense.

Re graduation, DD’s college had a reallocation of spare tickets closer to the date so that might be a possibility?

DD’s boyfriend got a spare ticket but DS didn’t so they both elected to take part in the college based bits (pre ceremony coffee and lunch and post ceremony prosecco/tea), they watched the procession, then returned to college for the live streaming, had a quick dash to collect flowers for DD from the florist and met us at the Sheldonian afterwards before we walked back to college. This might be too much for a grandparent but a variation might be possible.

@KittyTinker they live stream each graduation ceremony. My parents watched live. We did manage to get a spare ticket for lunch afterwards for DD's boyfriend.

@Teriyakieverything looking at my DC, they have been expected to start at a higher level than their A-levels from the first day. Whereas virtually every other uni they looked at said something to the effect of, "we cover the whole of the A-level in the first few weeks" so they have a much gentler start. And some of the first-year modules are not available until third year at other unis (although of course they may be more in depth at third year i suppose) . So I think there is a bigger jump.
And of course much more effect of big fish in small pond - they are now playing at world class level.

That last quote makes me sound snobbish, i don't mean it to be - but the students are from all over the world, they have all proven themselves exceptional.
Other universities are world class and are also available!

Argh, I wrote a long reply to @sytron and @Teriyakieverything and it's just refreshed the page and lost it....

I was hoping to be reassuring - DS has found this year equally challenging as his first year, BUT has made peace with the fact he's not going to get a first. I think he thought that if he worked as hard as he could, it would work in the way it did for A levels and he'd pull the top marks out in the exams. However, although his mocks went better than he feared, he's confessed that he goesn't have the pure engineering brain that his peers do, and he struggles with the type of exam questions and the level of detail required to get the top marks. He is enjoying the challenge of the course and finds some modules easier than others, and really enjoys the labs and more design stuff but the adjustment from being the top scholar in his year, to very mid table in his course cohort has been a bit of a shock I think. He's now decided he can cope with getting a 2.1 (fingers crossed!) and enjoy his rowing, debating etc

My experience has been that all my friends' children in all higher education have found the first year tough in recent years. Two or possibly three dropped out and restarted somewhere else the following year. I'm certain that ds found the first term at C a shock. Living away from home for the first time at 18 with no gap year, the speed and intensity of the term (a friend at a different uni had a reading week in that term for example), the fairly non-stop social life and sport timetable. The second term was worse as he started at least one module that he simply couldn't understand however hard he worked - that's never happened to him before. But he met his girlfriend, which cheered him up. And he did perfectly OK in the exams, and like others realised he was just above average now rather than top end.

When the second year started, he was used to all that, he knew how everything worked, he knew which bits of the social side he enjoyed and which bits not to do, and all in all it's not surprising he found it better.