They settle in and we miss them. Uni Starters 2023 - Thread 2

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I wanted to get a news thread ready for everyone as you wake up in the Uk.

We are settling into a routine of talking to DS on FaceTime on Sunday mornings after our breakfast, which is early pm his time. It is so nice to see his smile and catch up on how he is doing. I know at some point he will have a bad day, but so far he seems to be doing so well, I am ridiculously proud.

Hope you all have a good week!

Just wanted to give a little update from here. DS is away this weekend and goes back to Uni next weekend ready for lectures to start again on the Monday. The Summer seems to have gone really quickly and I’m upset tgat we haven’t had the chance to do much with him ax we’ve been caring for older relatives. Being part of the sandwich generation truly sucks sometimes.

Freshers are pouring in this weekend, DD is busy setting up Give It A Go sessions and Freshers' Fair stalls. I feel very nostalgic for my old own uni days, kicking through the fallen leaves to get to lectures...

Well slightly awkward here. DS and DD have had a spectacular falling out on Friday night. I am beyond upset with the behaviour with both of them. I only hope they manage to make things up again before DS comes home for Christmas.

Oh no @BunnyRuddington that sounds serious if you think the fall out could last til Xmas! Are they usually close?

How’s things @BunnyRuddington - do you think it will blow over?

Sorry I haven’t been back for a while and thank you for asking. It has eventually blown over yes. DS is not 100% and has returned home for a couple of days and they’re actually going out for lunch together today.

Thankfully he’s not ill, just not his usual self.

Glad to hear that @BunnyRuddington , Christmas is no longer cancelled - what a relief for you.

Are other posters' DC making plans for post graduation? DD has applied for an MA, would be a great option for her if successful but she hasn't made a final decision yet. I think it's very largely to do with a lot of her friends planning a move to that city...

How’s everything going with you and yours @stilldumdedumming - often think about you!
What will the MA be in @ZittiEBuoni I’m assuming taught rather than research?
DD is on a placement year currently so her plans this summer are to travel around Indonesia and ££ permitting Peru!!! 👀 what the heck!!! Then back to uni for her fourth year.

Thank you @ZittiEBuoni. Christmas may be still be cancelled. I asked DH to do a couple of fairly simple jobs just after last Christmas and told him I wasn’t hosting this year if they didn’t happen. 47 weeks later and I’m still waiting…

DS is doing an integrated Masters so will be going back for a 4th year.

And @NotDonnaIndonesia and Peru sound amazing!

Sadly she said a few choice words when I suggested I join her.

They can be do cutting can’t they?

Hello

I thought I had lost this thread and tonight an email came through! Good to catch up and read all the progress, interviews, travel, babies, placements and possible 4th years.
Here things are going quiet well with DD. She has been coping well, has work experience and preparing CV and job interviews but tonight has spent the evening at A&e with her flatmate who has MH issues. According to DD the hospital were 'shit' and gave her a leaflet and sent her home. I will not go into detail but needless to say I agree and amshocked. It took a lot of courage to admit needing help. The flatmates are taking it in turn to check up and tomorrow making a plan for some urgent assistance via student welfare etc. Needless to say, I don't think any of them will sleep tonight and I expect a call in the early hours.
Young adulthood is hard.
All the best to all our DC

@Lowther ahh that is shit! I was astonished when it took 3 suicide attempts for a 17yr old relative to receive any help. Both hospital & GP did nothing - The parents went private as there was a huge wait list. It was at the beginning of Covid but still.

Hi all, lovely to see people still chatting on this thread. Ds has now decided not to do his integrated masters and so this will be his final year, which means he's also thinking about jobs. It just seems to be thinking though! I'm not sure he will go down the route of his degree. He's a hard worker though and looks to be on track for a First (fingers crossed), so hopefully he'll get his head round a job.

DS is having a year studying in Utrecht and is having a great time. With his first year having been basically rubbish he is having a second go at it and has great flat mates (a group of them went to Berlin for a few nights together) and he’s been visiting various parts of the Netherlands and also Belgium. He was here briefly for a few days a couple of weeks ago and will be back at Christmas .

He has also been studying and doing pretty well 😊 Not sure where he’ll be leaving next year when he’s back rather nearer but I feel OK that he’ll work it out.

@MirandaWest my friend’s son studied in Utrecht. It has been brilliant.

i am loving the graduation plans! Well done us for riding the rollercoasters!
Thanks for asking @NotDonna
things with ds are pretty drastic. He has got deeper into things. Which is understandable with such a tiny baby. He rented a house where she was bailed to so she could live there - which meant social services closed the case (ffs). The baby is home with them which is obviously amazing. But she is violent and has beat him up (and that’s with her on a tag!). It is scary but we have taken loads of advice and we are safety planning because so far he won’t leave the baby. He took a DNA test today as paternity is unknown. That has created tension obviously. I am constantly waiting for a call. His dad actually had him whispering on the phone last week ‘please come and get me and the baby’ we were just arranging things and Ds cancelled that plan. It is hard.

His work is great as usual. When he was 5 he was obsessed with the Rolling Stones. He met some of them at a gig. He is currently working for Ronnie Wood. Hasn’t yet let on that he gave him a plectrum all those years ago! Trying to remain professional he says! So great and so sad too.

Or that that night 5 year old ds slept with Ronnie’s plectrum under his pillow and has it framed at home! I am desperate for him to tell him but I am very uncool apparently.

The baby/girlfriend situation is horrid. I’m so sorry. We all know he needs to leave (with the baby if it is his) but like anyone in an abusive relationship that’s easier said than done. I’m sending much love and strength as this must be horrific for you! The Ronnie Wood memories are fab and yes I too would him to share the story. It’s pretty cool. He’d probs be chuffed to bits that he had such an impact on a little 5 yr old. Do hope his job continues to go well; he really deserves some luck!

Oh, @stilldumdedumming , I always hope for better news, your son and grandchild shouldn't be going through this. Wishing you all the best for a good resolution for all.

@Lowtherthat most be really hard. MH support seems to be almost criminally underfunded. How is your DD coping with it all?

@LittleRedRidingSnoodmy DC2 likes to throw us the odd curveball too. If he’s a decent worker avd is on track for a first he should do well though

@MirandaWestso glad that the second go is going so well. It does sound amazing.

Oh god @stilldumdedummingi can’t begin to imagine how distressing all of this must be. Do you know how long he has to wait for the results of the DNA test?

And I’m probably deeply uncool but I would want to share that story too

@BunnyRuddington Flatmate has gone home for a while and is hopefully getting better medical help. The others left are looking out for each other and DD seems ok. Discovered a very lush cinema nearby and appears to be seeing every film out at the moment! A bit of downtime is needed. She has had good support from her tutor and lecturers so at least the studies are going well. A few more weeks and she will be back for Christmas and is here for a while.

Good to hear all the positive updates.

@stilldumdedumming hope the results arrive soon so that you can make further plans. The job sounds fab.

The results are in- and it his baby. We were hoping for a different outcome. There has been so much nastiness. But of course at least there is clarity now. And decisions to be made. He was working in London this week and was so happy and enthusiastic about his work. it’s sad but maybe worse things happen.

Distract me with your dc Christmas plans!

That sounds like it should work out better for all of them. I’m so glad that your DDs flatmate is home and hopefully recovering and that your DD has had support too. The cinema sounds very nice. I think I would be going regularly too!

I think we were all routing for a different result but like you say, he has clarity now and can hopefully navigate through all of this so that they are both safe.

Distraction incoming: DS was asking yesterday how I cook a ham. Him and his housemates are going to be cooking a Christmas Dinner for themselves on the last night before they all start to head home. Not sure what other plans he has. Exams are in January so between seeing his friends and hopefully doing a few shifts, all of the family stuff and studying it will be pretty busy for him.