They settle in and we miss them. Uni Starters 2023 - Thread 2

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I wanted to get a news thread ready for everyone as you wake up in the Uk.

We are settling into a routine of talking to DS on FaceTime on Sunday mornings after our breakfast, which is early pm his time. It is so nice to see his smile and catch up on how he is doing. I know at some point he will have a bad day, but so far he seems to be doing so well, I am ridiculously proud.

Hope you all have a good week!

@Lyxou Great she’s doing a placement but what a faff re accommodation. I’m also not sure it’s helpful that ppl aren’t in the office; especially for a placement year. Will be much easier for her to learn stuff and feel part of the team if more ppl are in. DDs placement is also hybrid but she’s choosing to go in everyday so far BUT she’s never the only one there. That’d be pretty tough. I can totally understand why your DD is looking to move back to uni city as it could be pretty lonely otherwise.

DS is doing a year’s studying abroad in the Netherlands - I got back yesterday from a road trip to take him there. Car has clocked up just over 1,000 miles since Sunday! He did a lot of the driving and was nice spending time with him. Will be a bit different from having him only a couple of hours away but I’m gladhes doing it.

Hi I wrote a long post but it froze and I lost it. I was on this thread from the start.
so short story is
ds has dropped out. I am cross because he was doing well. He took on too much paid work and lost interest. No surprise to anyone but still infuriating.
He also ‘married’ a girl he had just met. (Wedding not legal but a traditional ceremonial). She was pregnant but good chance it’s not his. She has a lot of problems but is also a compulsive liar. Tried to trap and then black mail ds and is now on bail. Banned form ds’ area. She is looking at prison if found guilty. (Crime unrelated to ds but quite serious). All the signs were there and we warned him things weren’t adding up.

but the upshot is I really love hearing about your dc so I’ll stick around if that’s ok.

We are having a bit of a nightmare. DS signed up to a house for this year at the start of last year. Sharing with four friends from halls in year 1. At christmas of year 2 one of the friends confessed that although he was living in university accommodation, he had actually failed both his first year exams and his resits and had decided to take his first year exams again at the end of year 2 (repeating the year without attendance) and so he had to move back home for the rest of the year. DS insisted that the friend would be coming back this october to start his second year and so there was no need to worry about the rent on the house. Of course surprise, surprise he's failed again. So we are now three weeks before the start of term and they are a person short.

Oh crikey @stilldumdedumming that all sounds hideously stressful for you and DS! What a nightmare. I don’t really know what to say. I know you can’t say what the crime is but a young pregnant girl potentially facing prison won’t have nicked a Mars bar. Hoping your DS can remove himself from the situation if the baby isn’t his? How’s he coping with it all? Sending love and strength as this is flipping tough!!

Is the a FB group for the university where you can advertise. There’s always students looking for accom. The university accommodation ppl may help assuming they’re open sorting freshers etc. what a pain! Fingers crossed they find someone soon AND who fits in!!

@ZittiEBuonihave spoken to DS again and he has loose plans for next year so that’s reassuring. At least he knows roughly who he’ll be living with if not where.

@MargaretThursdaymoving back into Halls sounds like a very sensible idea. I hope she thrives there.

@PettsWoodParadisean en-suite sounds like bliss in those circumstances. Does she know what she’d like to study at Masters level?

@NotDonnawell done to your DD on getting a year’s placement and I’m glad it’s going well for her. Fingers crossed on the graduate placement.

@Lyxouwell done to your DD too for getting a placement. I can’t believe they she would have been better off staying where she was. That sounds very frustrating.

@MirandaWestyou’ll have to keep us updated on your DS’ year abroad. That sounds like an amazing opportunity and I’m glad you went with him and got to see where he is.

@stilldumdedummingbloody he’ll it sounds as though you’ve been in a right rollercoaster. Thank God it wasn’t a legally binding ceremony. And of course it’s ok to stick around. You’ll have to update us in how your DS is doing too

@RoyKentFanclubthats really poor behaviour from his “friend” and I do find that my DC can be a little too trusting at times. Whereas I’m a bitter old cynic avd tend to point out what is obviously going to happen, much to the chagrin of both of them. I hope he gets someone for the room soon.

Yes, everyone - what @BunnyRuddington said!! How on earth do you remember all those usernames bunny and which one said what. If I remember one I think I’ve done well. I agree with everything you said.
So pleased your DS passed all his exams and can proceed. It is a bit nuts that they gave to start thinking about 4th year accom pretty much as soon as they start 3rd year. I’m not sure what DD will do re 4th year accom. She won’t be able to view places given she’s 200 miles away this. But it’ll be similar for all placement students and those overseas so I’m sure they’ll sort themselves out somehow. I’m not sure she’ll fancy halls amongst the freshers.

@stilldumdedumming sounds like your DS has learned some lessons but in a different way than anticipated, he sounds like a hard worker so should hold him in good stead. Do stick around, life is not a straight path!

@BunnyRuddington production with playwriting is what she is most interested in. She has had a fair amount of experience extra-curricular at Uni but at an Amateur level

@MirandaWest that is a LOT of miles!

@RoyKentFanclub the one who has dropped out I am assuming is still liable for the rent? I know some contracts vary. Hoping it gets sorted for all. I am so glad DD is going into Y3 and never had to grapple with house shares and had halls all the way through and just paying for the time she is there.

Dd was supposed to register today, except there has been a technical issue meaning none of the students can access the portal to choose modules etc.

I hope it's fixed soon, they've extended the deadline as a result, but I'll be glad when it's done.

She will be commuting from home again so thankfully we have no living arrangement stresses.

DS’ Uni have a Hall that seems to be maninly returners so if he did want to go into halls I think he’d choose that one. Don’t know if that’s common at other Uni’s though. I was hoping he would do that actually as the 4th year will be shorter and I don’t want him tied to a long contract of he’s having to move for work.

Please do stay on the thread @stilldumdedumming , I hope it helps as an outlet at a stressful time and the best of luck to your ds in extricating himself from a difficult situation.

@RoyKentFanclub , one of dd's (nine!) flatmates from last year did similar and they found a replacement very quickly just by asking around, I think. Hopefully it will be sorted out soon.

the one who has dropped out I am assuming is still liable for the rent? I know some contracts vary. Hoping it gets sorted for all. I am so glad DD is going into Y3 and never had to grapple with house shares and had halls all the way through and just paying for the time she is there
in theory the friend is still liable and his parents are guarantors but it’s far easier for the landlord to try to get money from the tenants who are in situ rather than someone who is awol at the other end of the country. Liability for the rent is joint and several unfortunately which means legally they can go after any of them

They predominantly do joint and several so they can pursue all or any of them. Not very fair but it’s impossible to change. DDs contract was the sane, I asked multiple times to have it changed to reflect per person but there was no budging. Do hope they find someone to take the room.

The whole rental situation for students is really exploitative. The government need to do some kind of review of it.
My DD, who is now having to live in the wrong city for a year, had to sign up for a full year and the only way she can get out of the contract is if she advertises the room herself and finds someone to take it. She's had some interest, but obviously, people who are interested want to talk to the housing company, and as soon as they do, the housing company offer them a different, empty room, so she's effectively just advertising for them.

My DD is OK and can suck it up for a year, and it might be character building for her to live somewhere a bit grottier than she's used to, but I feel really sorry for all those students who have to drop out for whatever reason - for many it's illness/mental illness and/or hating their course, missing home. So, on top of feeling generally shit and miserable, they then get stung for a year's rent that they don't use.

It's years since I've rented, but why the full year contract? Isn't it usually 6 months, or just a month-by-month basis? If I was a minister, I would ban 1 year contracts for students. I suppose landlords would then just push the rent up to cover losses of empty rooms though

Ouch that’s hard on your DD. How dare they offer the ppl she’s found somewhere else! I used to sympathise with the landlords because I guessed they’d find it very difficult to rent June - Sept. Now m wondering if it’s an insurance issue (swapping the type of contracts etc) or maybe it’s a tadge lazy? You’d think they’d be able to do Airbnb especially in a city or tourist area. But I guess most student property doesn’t fit the VERY good state of repair required for an holiday let. I’m not sure the gov insisting on no year long rents would help as then there’d be even less choice of accom and what if some students needed year long?

@NotDonna My suggestion would be contracts of no longer than a term. Obviously, if they want a year, then they just keep resigning at the start of each new term.

And this silliness of signing up for the following year in about October needs to stop. My DD did that for her 2nd year accommodation, and she discovered that even as late as April, May June, there was actually plenty of accommodation for the following year - it's just fear mongering to tell people that they won't get accommodation if they leave it until later in the year.

Yes the panic in Nov/Dec is silly!

I really don't think having to sign every term would be good for anyone except the landlords.

They could put the price up every term
Students could find themselves having to move every term
Students could find themselves homeless with little notice, and not much time to find anywhere else

I think it would be far more stressful for the students, especially those who need security knowing that they are fine to stay there for the year. They'd have to be thinking about the next place as soon as they moved in really; it would mean the stress over finding accommodation every term rather than once a year.

In a lot of places there's a shortage of student accommodation, so it wouldn't mean that the students could choose more.

Renters rights bill will I believe prevent students from signing a tenancy agreement more than six months in advance. It will be a much much better system. So many of them panic and sign up with people they then find they are no longer as close to by easter.

This is due to come into effect this autumn

Think it might not actually be until spring 2026 when the effects are properly felt. So this year’s crop of first and second (and some subsequent!) years will still probably feel the need to sign this autumn. Unfortunately.

This is really good to know.

@MargaretThursday Hmm, I take your point. Maybe it's the lack of choice with student accommodation? So for non-student rentals, there seems to be more of a choice of short & longer term contracts, but it seems that the only option for students is to take out a 1 year contract, and they always start July-July or September-September. There is no option or choice to move, in, let's say, February, if things aren't working out. I suppose she could have just rented a non-student 1 bed flat or something, with a shorter contract, but she wanted to share with other students, and she didn't realise there was going to be an issue when she signed.

From my DDs perspective it feels like her life is being controlled by someone else - she can't choose to live her life in the place where she will be happy, so she's got to accept being a bit miserable for a year. It just feels wrong. People's lives and circumstances change so much in a year, especially at that age.

Nice to see the thread still going. I’ve been meaning to update as Ds did get the placement from those last interviews which was great! He had a couple of weeks to do the contractual stuff and get a share house with some others doing the same. It was fast but it worked out well.

He is really enjoying it and it was such a relief as we were up bit up in the air on where to live otherwise - he has friends he’ll share with next year back at uni.

Hope everyone had a lovely summer holiday. We had a great time but feels quite nice to be heading back to schools etc