They settle in and we miss them. Uni Starters 2023 - Thread 2

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I wanted to get a news thread ready for everyone as you wake up in the Uk.

We are settling into a routine of talking to DS on FaceTime on Sunday mornings after our breakfast, which is early pm his time. It is so nice to see his smile and catch up on how he is doing. I know at some point he will have a bad day, but so far he seems to be doing so well, I am ridiculously proud.

Hope you all have a good week!

Aldi have a pack of 2 for £8.99, and a single copper-infused one (no, me neither) for £9.99.

@Downsidesupside onward and upward for dd. My dd has started again at home uni. Much much happier- tho her baby is very poorly at the moment - measles, tonsillitis, bronchitis and...teething!

Gosh that's such a lot to cope with. How are they both doing and how are you?

Oh thank you @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto I am actually on holiday so not much help. They are all exhausted but ok. The poor baby has a lot of medication from the hospital. They are home and FaceTimed me so he could shout at me. Mainly about his painful mouth. He's nearly 9 months so it's quite a lot. Apparently it's stemming from his measles. He's losing weight but seems to be quite tough. Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon

@stilldumdedumming poor baby! I’m so impressed with your DD! Sending love and hope the baby recovers quickly. Try and enjoy your holiday too.

@Karmaisagod copper infused pillows 🤔🤔

He's in unite dorms - there's six rooms and he knows four of them and there are two 'random' (postgrad) students at a different uni. They aren't the 'party guys' so I'm worried it will be a bit dull for him.

Funnily enough I was speaking to a colleague recently and she said that the accommodation officer at her kids uni advised him NOT to go tho this dorm because the culture is very 'keep yourself your yourself' and it's not great for socialising. It is mostly international students and we did notice it was quite cliquey and not much socialising (the common rooms are dead).

But the location is brilliant and he likes the rooms/facilities. I'm hoping it livens up a little! He's not a party animal but would like to do a bit of partying!

Ds has found another flat. He's been offered it but he's dubious as it's not a proper agent but they are saying they are agents. He's done a lot of digging and apparently they say they have an office in Fleet Street- he's very circumspect. He's going to speak to the sitting tenant and See how he feels.

Bloody London. It's nuts. Everyone he knows has a guarantor but we can't give him that unfortunately. I earn ok but not enough and I rent and his dad has a house but has a tiny pension income. Arghhh

Can the uni help with being a guarantor. I'm sure I've read that at DS' Uni in some circumstances they can act as a guarantor if the DPs can't due to income.

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto really? That would be excellent. I have suggested he go to see them anyway. They actually have their own stock of halls and offered him a place a few weeks back. They are also pretty proactive with private housing and must have seen a few scams. Luckkky both ds and his friend can hang on a bit as they both have places to stay in London but it's all good will!

I will pass on your suggestion to ds. You never know!

@stilldumdedumming yes DS should definitely go speak to uni. Did he not fancy the halls he was offered a couple of weeks ago? Do you have two at uni, DS in London and DD at local uni?

Yes exactly that. Ds going into year 2. Dd starting again at home uni after having the baby.

It's quite a long story. He actually had the last private halls under £200 in London a few months back, at Wood Green. His friends wouldn't go there and so convinced him to let it go. So then 3 were getting a place together but the other 2 were in a doomed fwb situation and it was getting dodgy so then there were 2. Ds and his friend. Ds stayed in halls over the summer and got offered halls for Y2 but turned it down so he could live with his friend.

I get it but his friend is pretty reliant on SFE and a nmw job. Ds has sfe and mainly free lance income. His income is great and paid into his bank but the agents they've spoken to either won't take sfe or won't take free lance income. Ds says everyone has a guarantor but we can't do that and neither can his friend. I can't believe that's the only way but I'm not directly involved. (I've offered and so has friend's dad but neither of us are homeowners)

Private halls in London at this late stage are so expensive. I think they should ask uni if there's anything on campus. It's a long shot but possible. Uni have been good at checking with ds regularly about year 2 accommodation searches.

That was long!

Ugh what a nightmare!! Fingers crossed it’ll be sorted soon. There must be loads of kids going into private accom that haven’t got guarantors- no clue how it’s overcome unfortunately.

Hmmm ds went to the flat today. He told the agent that he would not transfer any money until he was in the flat with the keys in his hand! He told them he knows he sounds paranoid but they're online presence has lots of gaps and there are too many scams. He was doing that today and I've not heard since. He's an adult. He's an adult. He's an adult!!! I so want to interfere!

Oh how nerve-racking @stilldumdedumming . It's almost impossible to butt out of this kind of situation - I do hope he finds something very soon.

Dd has a gig tonight and will have to somehow transport her keyboard a mile and a half away in the pouring rain with no access to a vehicle. She claims her 'minions' will help her . Unfortunately she's come down with a cold, I'm really nervous for her...

That all sounds very stressful @stilldumdedumming. How is everything now?

Well it was not a scam! And they are in the flat. Ds is ok about it but it's a bit pricy for the area. He says he probably will get out after 6 months. Estate agent thought he was paranoid but honestly their website, companies house and Instagram bore no resemblance to each other. He is unbothered by what they think of him!

Dd enjoyed first week of uni (hooray!) and the baby is getting better!

What an amazing update. And breathe

Yaay!! @stilldumdedumming good news all round!

Ah phew, @stilldumdedumming , both baby and accommodation wise. Enjoy the break in tension!

That is brilliant news all round @stilldumdedumming

Visited DD yesterday and she is happy and settled in her house and we've met all the housemates properly now and they all get on so fingers crossed it continues. They are all mad about football except DD so the TV is showing a game in the lounge pretty much full time 🤣 but her room is on the 2nd floor so she can escape the madness if she chooses.

They've piled the work on so she's going to be kept v busy this year.

It's feeling rather autumnal now so I hope the landlord doesn't keep the heating off for too long - bills are included so he chooses when it goes on. It felt okay when we were there yesterday but it'll soon get chilly and damp once October arrives 🍁 🍂 Ours kicks in if it drops below 18.5 and it's kicked in a few times already!

@AnneOfCleavage maybe a heated throw as a gift. I sent one to my fella's daughter during lockdown as she was WFH in a house share. She said it was the best thing she ever had! They can be pricey though.

I also visited ds in London yesterday. Did not get invited to this flat and never met any of his friends! But he treated me to dinner and to the theatre! He is really happy (mainly about work and friends) so that was great.

That sounds like a lovely visit @stilldumdedumming - what a kind, thoughtful son you have. What show did you go and see?

Yes a heated throw will be a fab consideration if the landlord is slow to put on heating however we happened to meet him briefly when he was just leaving (he'd been testing alarms etc) as we arrived to move DD in a while back and he seemed reasonable and approachable and when we discovered a chair had a broken seat he fixed it super quick.
In some ways it's lucky her room is so small as it'll heat quickly with a mini heater if needs be.

We went to Abigail's Party as he's a big Mike Leigh fan. He is very thoughtful when he remembers to be. He doesn't celebrate birthdays or Christmas despite that I love both. So this was a mopping up treat of the many missed!

He does usually manage a Mother's Day card and a birthday card as that is non negotiable. He once baked me a cake for my birthday- my favourite coffee and walnut.

@stilldumdedumming you may find this changes when girls get involved 😜 Baking a cake is just such a thoughtful thing to do esp a fave flavour - better than uninspired garage flowers 🤣 You've got a lovely son there.

Just remembered we signed an agreement with the landlord that DD would not have a plugged in heater so there goes that idea - that prob includes heated blankets too.