Driving issue - but DD wants to go to uni 300 miles away!

[Netballer3]

I can’t drive on motorways or busy dual carriage ways any more - was getting huge anxiety so stopped about 5 years ago. DD is very keen on Newcastle uni though - which is 300 miles (6 hour drive) from us. If she gets a place, how would we get her stuff to and fro? She doesn’t drive either and we have no close family or friends to take her all that distance. Want to make it work but can’t see how…

When DS went abroad on a semester abroad, I used a local parcel delivery company and sent it as a package. Left here on Wednesday, in Dublin by Friday afternoon.
A flatmate of my other DS lived in Newcastle and went to University in the south east, and bought everything when he arrived- Dunelm, Ikea etc. Then put stuff into storage at the end of the year/term. There are loads of storage companies around who seem to specialise in Student storage, so she can leave it all there until graduation.

Assuming you’re talking about next year, can’t she learn to drive herself in that time?

I would go up by train with suitcases and buy bulky items like bedding up there. Once you’re there, would you be comfortable hiring a car to go to a local IKEA, for example? Or you could use an cab/Uber.

We’re in the US and had to fly DD out to university. We hired a car out there and got the bulky items there, it worked out well.

I did a year abroad in France and travelled with Ryanair baggage limits. Train is entirely fine.
If you don't want to drive, how does she feel about learning?

https://www.mybaggage.com/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-a2j26_IgQMVlMXtCh0vUwlGEAAYASAAEgLidfD_BwE are brilliant and deliver to halls of residence!

Don’t hold your daughter back for your own anxieties when there is a simple solution available. Good luck!

Driving instructors, tests etc are still backed up afaik. And then being experienced enough to drive that far herself, the cost of insurance for a brand new driver, cost of tolerably safe and reliable used cars now, uni halls not always having parking for undergrads...very unlikely to be a simple solution in practice and ££££ vs the alternatives.

Not saying it wouldn't be a good idea for the OPs DD to start learning to drive now, just that I wouldn't rely on that being the solution.

Just checking you're aware that anxiety about driving (when you've not previously had it) has been linked to the menopause.

Are you menopausal? If so, are you on HRT? That could solve your problem.

Mainly we drove them. We have used a courier when we couldn't get there by car. Some years it's not relevant as they get shared houses and stay beyond a year and some things they can store locally in the summer eg at a friends who isn't around, a boyfriend, or similar.

Amazon or Argos same day delivery plus paying for couriers /man with a van at the end of the year. Might be a good idea to get quotes right now so you have an idea of what the transportation costs are.

I booked a practical test for my ds about 3 weeks ago and they are up to February test dates. Theory tests are much easier to get hold of here (within a month)

@JudyGemstone CBT doesn't always work. Believe me, I've tried it for exactly the same problem that the OP has. If only it was as easy as putting big girl pants on!

I took myself to Uni 7 hrs on the train. My parents weren’t even in the country. I took a rucksack and big suitcase with clothes and jewellery and sleeping bag and bought bedding pans etc there. Now with prime and next day delivery it should be quite easy to get the stuff delivered the day after arriving.

This! I used to be terrified of motorways but now I can drive on them it's so much more freeing.

She can just train/ bus it and then get things when she is there. I did this when I went to uni, stored things in halls/ friends flats etc until I finished when I drove up and picked up my stuff accumulated over the years. First time my parents saw where I was studying was for my graduation!

You'll be fine on the train.It's only a bit more stuff than her holiday suitcase would be. I know she'll have books but you'll be there too to help. As other have said, buy as much as you can while you're there.

Coach or train or possibly flying

Yep, she can get the essentials there by train.

Unless there's a big drip feed coming and she turns out to be a career harpist needing a lift to a conservatoire?

My daughter’s friend used these people - https://www.unikitout.com/pages/about-us for bedding, kitchen stuff, etc and got it delivered direct to her halls.

She then went up on the train and took up clothes, etc in a couple of suit cases

Just to say, there may not be books! In the last five years of uni life across two DCs I don't think either of them has bought a single physical book! It's all ebooks and online these days!

I echo the points others have made. It ought not be a barrier. Depending on your finances, could she opt for catered halls in first year? Some universities supply duvets and pillows. Bath does. You collect it if you want it.

Even posting a box of things - thinking decorative items - isn't that expensive via evri or other parcel companies.

I used to fly up and down to uni. If she wants to go there she needs to work out the logistics. You can't stop her going or influence her decision.

Just to say, there may not be books! In the last five years of uni life across two DCs I don't think either of them has bought a single physical book! It's all ebooks and online these days!

Mine didn't need to buy any actual books either - either stuff was online or available in the libraries. Otoh she accumulated a lot of large heavy ring binders of notes. I guess if she'd not had the DH courier service she'd have had to scan her paper notes to bring home for revision. This sort of thing doubtless depends on the course.

I moved to Chester on train alone with what I could carry

You can courier her stuff. DS has gone to London, we are on north east. I'm having 14 boxes sent tomorrow, cost about £300. You can get the train to visit.