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Original poster

Annnddd they're off! Uni Starters 2023 Thread.

1000 replies

Titsywoo · 02/09/2023 10:55

Hi all,

I thought I'd start a different thread as the Alevels and beyond one is more geared to remarks and clearing at this point so didn't want to start derailing that with chat off packing and freshers week.

How is everyone getting on with helping their DC prepare and the idea that soon they will be moving away?

My DD is off to Cardiff to read psychology so will be about 3.5 hours drive away. I'm both nervous and excited for her right now! Packing is going well - pretty much all stuff has been bought and the induction pan set should arrive today. There is a large pile on the landing which keeps growing as we think of extra bits.

Due to a very lucky spot by me when scrolling Tiktok DD has found and been added to the Cardiff Psychology year 1 snapchat group. From that she got chatting to some others who aren't massively into drinking or clubbing and they have another chat for people who want to do other things than clubbing. They are organising meeting for some of the SU 'Give it a go' events such as an escape room and Ikea trip! Dd has also persuaded a couple of people to join the Hookers society with her (for crocheting! 😄).

Dd had a terrible time with bullying and social isolation from year 5 till the end of sixth form so I am praying this is the new start where she finally finds her tribe 🤞🙏

Looking forward to hearing how everyone's DC is getting on and how the first few weeks are for them. Not long to go now! DD leaves in 20 days 😬

OP posts:
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11
MargaretThursday · 04/10/2023 17:32

@HicIocusEst

It's slightly prompted by she did a residential a number of years ago where she phoned me every evening, sounding happy. But afterwards she commented that the other two girls in her dorm were best friends, and whereas I don't think they were nasty, she clearly felt an outsider.
I always ask what her plans are, and she's always got plans with others that she's doing later, and she always has been doing things though, so I do think I'm being silly to worry.

Susiesue61 · 04/10/2023 22:51

I worry when I hear from DS and worry when I don’t!! My other two keep telling me he’s fine. He’s taken himself off find my iPhone so I can’t even stalk him now 😂 DD tells me he’s at a cricket social tonight, according to Bereal!!

MirandaWest · 05/10/2023 12:08

Was glad to see DS playing a piano on his band's instagram story - turned out it was one in Spoons at/by the Students Union so when he gets the need to play the piano he'll be able to.

He's being quite good at replying to texts, often when I'm asleep (and I probably reply when he is!)

Lyxou · 05/10/2023 13:38

My DD is very stressed about workloads on her course. It's one module in particular, that is normally taught in year 2, but they're teaching it now instead. She's being given loads of assignments to complete for this module, but she doesn't understand even the basic lectures, and neither does anyone else. She's really stressed about it, and not doing enough work on anything else, then forgetting to do things because she trying to get her head round these lectures.

Various students, including DD, have tried asking for help, and complained, but the only thing the lecturer has done is go slightly slower. They just keep being told they need to watch the recordings of the lectures and teach themselves the notation she uses, but doing all of that just to understand the basic lectures is taking forever, and then they have all the assignments to do on top of that.

My DD thinks it's some kind of monumental cock-up.

spamm · 06/10/2023 01:15

Today is the first day I have not texted DS, because I want to give him space. But so far he has not complained about getting too many messages from us, which is good.

Yesterday he called me while I was in a meeting, but I was able to step out. He wanted to know if his outfit was ok for the first proper rugby social. He sent me a photo and I told him to tuck his shirt in but he looked great. It's nice to know he still needs mom. I know he is going to have some cultural challenges of differences between the US and the UK, but he really does seem to be coping well.

@Susiesue61 - I know what you mean about worrying about not hearing from them, but also wanting them to be happy and not reaching out. I find myself wondering when it is going to go wrong, and I do worry how he is managing his academics with the challenges I know he has with regards to executive function. I need to calm down and trust him, for the sake of my own sanity, or I will drive myself potty.

Susiesue61 · 06/10/2023 08:22

This is the first week I haven’t thought about him all the time!! Think we’re getting used to it at home too, quite nice being 4 instead of 5. DS1 is going to Sheffield this weekend so I’m hoping he’ll meet up with DS2

Violetparis · 06/10/2023 09:29

It is hard to know how much to contact them and how much to just leave them to it. I am trying to stop myself from worrying stupid about how my DD gets home from nights out when she's not with her flatmates. Not helped by me watching The Yorkshire Ripper drama.

toomuchlaundry · 06/10/2023 09:37

DS had messaged us every day on family WhatsApp, sometimes only one word answers, but still proof he was alive and well! But had radio silence yesterday. Hadn’t even read a message we sent. Must admit I did worry but he then sent a message this morning. So I guess I need to reduce my expectations now he has been there nearly a month

Delphigirl · 06/10/2023 09:42

We are down to every 2-3 days most of which is instigated by me I have to say! He did spend a nice 20m yesterday afternoon helping dd2 plan her interrailing route and it was lovely to hear the usual sibling chat over her speakerphone in the kitchen! Felt like he was back!

Allloveisbeautiful · 06/10/2023 10:04

DS coming home for the weekend woohoo! Feels like more than 2 weeks since he’s been at uni! Expect he’ll bring laundry on the train and will make sure to feed him up over the next few days starting with fish and chips tonight!

Tabbytabs · 06/10/2023 10:19

I’m very lucky. Dd messages me about 50 times a day! I don’t know if it’s because she’s lonely or if she knows how lonely I am without her or if she just wants to chat. She has 4 friends in Bristol, 1 in Bath and 1 in Exeter and they all met in Bristol last night for a proper piss up. She still sent me a couple of messages whilst they were out out. I would love it to continue, but I’m not expecting it to. Once she finds her feet I’m guessing the messages will become less frequent. We still watch our fave tv shows together on catch up (Strictly, Bake Off etc) we just watch in different cities! We press play at the same time and discuss over message! Quite sad really, but we love it ❤️

ZittiEBuoni · 06/10/2023 12:06

Oh @Tabbytabs I would love to be able to do the Strictly, Bake Off thing with dd but she is busy all the time (but still messaging 2-3 times a day).

Met up with her friend's mum this morning and apparently they've fallen out (both at same uni) over some very strange stuff that doesn't sound like dd at all. Have asked dd and she denies most of it, and has a version that is very different for the stuff she doesn't deny. Hmm. Always had my doubts about that friendship tbh and won't mourn it if it's over. But will stay friends with the mum, who is v nice!

Tabbytabs · 06/10/2023 12:15

@ZittiEBuoni I don’t expect it to last forever, but I’m enjoying it for now!

Our fave bands have just announced they are touring together (Manics and Suede) and they will be at Cardiff Castle on the 5th July…a week or two after she will be moving home! Soooo annoying! Guess I should start looking at hotels 😡

ZittiEBuoni · 06/10/2023 12:18

OMG, @Tabbytabs , I would LOVE to go to that too. Going to suggest to DD (it's near her birthday too...)

Tabbytabs · 06/10/2023 12:35

@ZittiEBuoni Do it! I’ve just booked the premier inn on Queen street, but paid extra for cancellation options just in case dd can’t get tickets. She’s buying them for my Christmas present! She’s ridiculously excited!

Tabbytabs · 06/10/2023 12:38

We live much closer to London (only an hour on the train), but I am sick and tired of booking stuff in London and for it to be fucked by train/tube strikes. I had to drive last time and it was a nightmare! We don’t go to gigs in London any more

MirandaWest · 06/10/2023 12:51

Texted DS today to get him to try and sort out a new prescription for medication he’s on due to a recent diagnosis. He’s registered with new GP at uni but when he battled the phone line they haven’t had things through about it so can’t prescribe. And when DH spoke to the old doctor about a week ago they said that DS wasn’t a patient any more (am wondering whether they hadn’t received details from the hospital about it at that point):

New GP says he needs to contact old GP - have told DS to try and get them to prescribe it as I think current supply will run out early next week.

I have been gently nagging him to sort it out but upped it today as I knew he doesn’t have lectures. Wish I’d got him to do it last Friday when he was here!

ZittiEBuoni · 06/10/2023 13:12

@Tabbytabs We stayed at the Queen Street Premier Inn when we were checking out Cardiff Uni, it was quiet, central and comfortable - I have convinced DH that he wants these tickets as an early birthday present, we're on our way Grin.

Lowther · 06/10/2023 16:43

First proper week of lectures for DD this week and she is knackered! -didn't think it would be this much work Mum! We speak every day, mainly her calling and catching up with her dad who is slowly showing some improvement health-wise. We also watch bake off - sent her some brownies so we were both munching and watching together, and also Only murders which we both used to watch together at home. We are meeting up at the the literature festival this weekend. She is enjoying Bristol but had enough work that this is the first week she has not been out clubbing etc. She is also thinking of interailing this summer as she thinks they have a very long summer break.

MermaidEyes · 06/10/2023 17:26

Violetparis · 06/10/2023 09:29

It is hard to know how much to contact them and how much to just leave them to it. I am trying to stop myself from worrying stupid about how my DD gets home from nights out when she's not with her flatmates. Not helped by me watching The Yorkshire Ripper drama.

This is my biggest worry. Dd thinks she is invincible and doesn't need taxis. So far she's always had someone to come home with but I worry when she won't. Doesn't help DH and I watched Libby Are You Home Yet shortly before she left...

NotDonna · 06/10/2023 21:21

@MermaidEyes is your DD at York? I’m trying to remember. There’s a taxi number (I think it’s, 656565 - it’s on Uni of York FB) who’ll take students back to halls even if they’ve no money and they can sort it the following day. What’s her reasoning?

HicIocusEst · 06/10/2023 21:34

Lyxou · 05/10/2023 13:38

My DD is very stressed about workloads on her course. It's one module in particular, that is normally taught in year 2, but they're teaching it now instead. She's being given loads of assignments to complete for this module, but she doesn't understand even the basic lectures, and neither does anyone else. She's really stressed about it, and not doing enough work on anything else, then forgetting to do things because she trying to get her head round these lectures.

Various students, including DD, have tried asking for help, and complained, but the only thing the lecturer has done is go slightly slower. They just keep being told they need to watch the recordings of the lectures and teach themselves the notation she uses, but doing all of that just to understand the basic lectures is taking forever, and then they have all the assignments to do on top of that.

My DD thinks it's some kind of monumental cock-up.

That sounds awful and very stressful.
Hope she sorts it out.

MermaidEyes · 07/10/2023 10:27

NotDonna · 06/10/2023 21:21

@MermaidEyes is your DD at York? I’m trying to remember. There’s a taxi number (I think it’s, 656565 - it’s on Uni of York FB) who’ll take students back to halls even if they’ve no money and they can sort it the following day. What’s her reasoning?

Yes York! Thank you, that's useful. Honestly, I'm not sure of her reasoning. She'll happily get a taxi with other people so suspect it's something to do with being in one on her own, which is understandable as a woman. She has the Uber app which has follow my ride feature but hasn't used it yet.

NotDonna · 07/10/2023 11:31

@MermaidEyes surely she’d be safer in a cab than walking though? DD has used Uber but I’ve recently read they’re not licensed in York - but surely that can’t be correct?

MermaidEyes · 07/10/2023 12:06

NotDonna · 07/10/2023 11:31

@MermaidEyes surely she’d be safer in a cab than walking though? DD has used Uber but I’ve recently read they’re not licensed in York - but surely that can’t be correct?

You'd think so wouldn't you 🙄 so far she's only walked alone at night in our quiet village which has probably given her a false sense of security. Hopefully when it comes to a night out in York and she's in her own she'll think twice and find a cab. I had no idea they aren't licensed in York, will have to google.

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