Exeter uni reassurance please!

[seymour]

Hi there, my daughter just got into Exeter uni through clearing but while she liked it when she visited ahead of the application process, she didn’t plump for it as her first choice as she felt it was quite “posh” and wasn’t sure if she would fit in. We are from a big city and she went to a comprehensive. Not trying to cause offence to anyone from a privileged background btw, we very much take every person as we find them, as does my daughter but just wondered if anyone could share their kids’ experiences? Thanks so much.

It isnt a 'fear' of privately educated students, so much as a dislike. Private school kids have a misplaced sense of their own superiority. Without knowing, you can usually pick out the privately educated kids by their arrogance and their swagger and their self-centred attitude, all of which make them pretty unattractive to people outside th eir bubble.

Blimey, would you like some vinegar for that ginormous chip on your shoulder??

Blimey! Private school kids are not all the same you know - all types are available: shy, anxious, modest, kind, funny, poor (yes, really) as well as the more confident even arrogant types. To express dislike of a whole group of disparate people like that is quite shocking actually.

A combination of generalisation, prejudice and great steaming horsepiss.

DS has been taught from an early age both at home and school to maintain eye contact when talking to people and to greet with a traditional handshake or a familiar hug with his friends. He does this with ease and also will happily chat with anyone. If this is what you are referring to as arrogance or confidence then I’d rather that than the often monosyllabic interaction I often have with boys and girls of the same age.
DS is naturally shy but has learned to overcome his fear and happily socialises now. He doesn’t feel the need to lob insults at someone who simply greets him on the street. He has learned to hold doors open, give directions when asked and does not hang out in menacing behooded packs. Ok, this may come across as well bread, polite and possibly entitled or posh but I’d much rather he behaves this way than like the vast majority of teenage boys I come across.

What a way to live with such charged resentment towards a bunch of children you don't even know. I don't think there is anything anyone can say or do to change your entrenched ideas and it is clear these views are passed down. Private schools may be abolished in the near future but your bitter views towards those from different backgrounds to you will no doubt continue.

Such as?

“great steaming horsepiss”

Can’t say I’m familiar with that phrase. Is it a posh thing, cos, you know….horses.

I’ll happily explain any of my reasoning if you want to provide a more considered response.

@Mirabai So even a horse is posh now.

I think we will just have to accept this thread has been taken over by some very narrow minded people. Who pop up on every thread now. So presumably every fairly ordinary thread will go this way. It’s disheartening and very disappointing.

Agree tizer - this thread is just ridiculous now.

At least have the politeness to name who you are referring to.

Well it looks right now like the inequality advocates have nothing else to say

Most of us are yawning. See you on the next thread!!! We all know who I’m referring to. Would cat shit suit you better?

The level of spite towards a section young people being shown on this thread by some posters is very depressing.

OP, you sound like an open and warm hearted person. If your daughter is like you, she will have a wonderful time. Ignore the haters and congrats to your daughter.

Looks like a nerve has been hit with someone.

Looking forward to encountering more of your HE “expertise”.

At least it’s usually a pleasant and a well rounded discussion with most . I do prefer it if no-one is spiteful towards any young person wherever they are educated and whatever their parents have spent. No one really enjoys seeing posts that are truly nasty towards some young people.

@GodessOfThunder As usual, when a poster is caught out they belittle another poster. As an individual mum I don’t need to justify myself to you. We all have something to say and a forum like this is not just for so called experts. We all have some expertise.

I would like to say that the people I know, and I am very lucky to know many, many people from all walks of life, have never shown such narrow minded jealousy that I’m reading on this thread. It’s extremely disappointing. I can only hope that as our youngsters move forward with their lives they can accept and appreciate that differences exist and needn’t divide.
OP your DD will be absolutely fine at Exeter mixing with everyone.

If you are referring to me, I don’t recall being “caught out”.

@Littlemissprosecco Exactly.
@GodessOfThunder The definition of “caught out” means doesn’t know something. You posts demonstrate you do not know about other people.

‘Without knowing, you can usually pick out the privately educated kids by their arrogance and their swagger and their self-centred attitude’

I think there are all types. Thousands of people have been to state and private school. They aren’t all easily divided into two groups.

Do you think you would be able to spot the one in eight kids on a full bursary at my kids’ large private school? I genuinely don’t think you could.

Anyway I acknowledge the unfairness, the privilege and the inequality. But I disagree that all privately educated people are arrogant idiots. There is a spectrum of course.

I went to private school and my husband went to state. It’s never even come up as an issue in our thirty year marriage. He is from a working class family and I am from an Asian immigrant family whose parents were told by their colleagues to pay for our education when they came to England in the seventies; the didn’t have a clue and spent all their money on us.

My husband defers to me with grammatical queries but wipes the floor with me at University Challenge. There is so much more to a person than the school they attended (other than a few arrogant losers who will be disliked by most people, whatever the school they attended). I would give people a chance. I bet some people you like have been to private school and you don’t know!

@TizerorFizz Funnily enough I came across a new word today - (little hobby of mine & DH's) 'Ultracrepedarian', I think is the apt word you're looking for.

@Askil Well it’s said about me! I’ll hurl
it back in future. Great word.

Yet neither you, or any other poster, has made a substantive reply to my post at 16.01.

If my points are wrong then it should be easy, no? If private education isn’t actually unearned privilege and its recipients don’t get a leg up in the way I described, you should be able to say why, no? Sure there may be some private school kids who are shy or whatever, but it doesn’t change the fact that private schools are an example of structural inequality that manifests itself in the way I described.

But instead all the private school fans have descended into petty ad hominem sniping. I can only presume this is because they have nothing of substance to say instead.

No one mentioned "jealousy". This, along with its sibling "politics of envy", is just a lazy ad hominem snipe in lieu of any substantive argument.