Exeter uni reassurance please!

[seymour]

Hi there, my daughter just got into Exeter uni through clearing but while she liked it when she visited ahead of the application process, she didn’t plump for it as her first choice as she felt it was quite “posh” and wasn’t sure if she would fit in. We are from a big city and she went to a comprehensive. Not trying to cause offence to anyone from a privileged background btw, we very much take every person as we find them, as does my daughter but just wondered if anyone could share their kids’ experiences? Thanks so much.

Thanks @GeraldTheGoodMouse my daughter’s school wasn’t great either!

She's decided that the majority of Exeter students are privately educated

I think you need to learn to read. Or, more probably, you need to learn how to respond what people actually said, not what your prejudice wants them to have said. Nowhere did she say she had decided that the majority of Exeter students are privately educated. She didn't mention private schools, nor did she mention proportions. You're just making stuff up so you can attack people with it.

doesn't bode well for her ability to critically assess

You might wish to invest in a mirror.

The level of bullying on this thread kind of makes the point quite well.

My DD doesn’t want to spend £50,000 on a three year experience that isn’t just as she wants it and I fully support that. Fitting in is very important to her and she doesn’t want to feel like the odd one out when she is spending so much money.

I understand that. My kids went to private school but are pretty down to earth (like many of course are). But one child felt quite overwhelmed in their first month at Bristol at the obvious wealth and relative lack of diversity there in the peer group.

Obviously over time they found their friends. And actually there were more ‘normal’ people there than they realised. It’s a pretty friendly place and more diverse than they initially thought.

But the first impression (for my pretty confident kid) was rather intimidating for them. And I can completely see why some young people would be nervous about choosing these places. I would encourage them to give it a chance. But I would certainly not describe your child as narrow-minded for having reservations. Not one bit.

Exeter gets a prettyunfair press about diversity. There are loads of state school students and loads of international students. It’s a lovely uni.

Nowhere did she say she had decided that the majority of Exeter students are privately educated. She didn't mention private schools, nor did she mention proportions.

FatOaf so what do you think she meant?

I think you are doing your dd no favours unfortunately, she is exchoing your small mindedness.

She won’t be dissuaded. She has her own mind and reads and follows lots of fora etc and has made her own decision.

It's still pretty narrow-minded. Reverse snobbery is still snobbery.

I went there. Loved it. Yes there were many 'posh' people there but there are also many non posh people too (like me!) I never once felt like I didn't fit in. Lovely town and I have the best memories there.

Thanks again everyone, I feel a lot better!

And some Northern Unis have lots of privately educated DC. Just look at the stats for Newcastle.

I think she’ll meet a decent mix (it’s not very diverse and there is a posh factor but it’s not wall to wall Cressidas)

However it’s v v rural - is she up for that?

Subject tends to matter. Classics will be a bit more private school than, say, geography that is taught everywhere. I do think students should be encouraged to be non judgemental about everyone they meet. It really helps them get through anything life throws at them.

Bristol, as a city, is diverse. The university makes a great effort to get students from diverse areas of the uk. Therefore the idea you cannot find students you like at these unis is very blinkered.

I’m always bemused by anyone saying DC don’t like “posh” students but I’ve no doubt they would take offence at “posh” people deliberately avoiding their DC at uni. Most young people come with something to offer and being too small minded to embrace others who might be wonderful people, but just had a different upbringing, isn’t a great trait. It also rules out loads of international students.

Plus as she’s taking a loan, she is not spending her own money. She’s spending the governments “money” which she might never pay back via the graduate tax.

Around 30% of Exeter’s intake is privately educated. This is the third highest after Oxford and Durham. And Exeter is the only one of its peers where the % is increasing. While 30% is not a majority, of course, the privately educated disproportionately set the “tone” of the student body. There are much more diverse, and academically better universities in more cosmopolitan cities.

I think your DD made a good decision

Thanks @continentallentil I know it’s a small city but when you say v v rural, do you mean the surrounding area? Not sure that’s such an issue although she’s definitely used to living in a big city. Having said that, maybe it’s good to try something different!

@GodessOfThunder this is my concern. Unfortunately she missed her first choice in a bigger and more diverse city by a grade so we are where we are.

Newcastle is 14th on the current list -2022. St Andrews, RAU and Durham are higher than Exeter, but does it really matter? The privately educated are still a minority.

Since students now foot the bill for their University education it is safe to say that all state educated individuals are now entering private education when the go to Uni.
Perhaps sell it to her in this context.
My Ds was privately educated and I often heard parents comment “we all pay exactly the same fees” when one of the self elected elite parents was making a fuss.
Universities are no longer free and very few people are awarded grants. Many students have to work throughout their courses including the posh ones.
I am going to have to fund my DS through Uni but it is considerably cheaper than school fees. What I will not do is pay his tuition fees or student loans because he needs to understand the value of his education and that he may well be paying it off for years to come. So it is in his best interests to get the best value from it.

A city, even a small one, can't, by definition, be very very rural!

PS one of my sons close friends is going to Exeter, he too missed his first choice by one grade. He is lovely and looks just like Jerome Flynn. My son is constantly berating his poshness.

Yes it does matter when you make spurious statements like "Many northern unis have small percentages of privately educated DC so it’s definitely north/south and tribal!". You omitted that Edinburgh is also above Exeter and you don't get much further north than that. Newcastle may be 14th but it is high at 23.4% given that Bristol and Bath are not too different at 27.1%.

Yes, this is what really struck my dd when she looked round too.
She found it very, very strange, and off putting.

This!!

The majority of unis with higher percentages of privately educated Dc are not in the North. I was excluding Scotland as their dynamics are different. You do actually get quite a bit further North then Edinburgh. High numbers of international students drive percentages too.

You can find plenty of non white in Bris. Just look a bit harder! London will of ciourse be different. It’s a melting pot of numerous cultures! Why is it off putting to try somewhere different? Should Dc refuse to go to a London uni because they find other cultures in London off putting?

Newcastle has long been liked by private school Dc as a party city and a uni with lower entrance rates. Like Oxford Brookes. It doesn’t matter though as state educated are a big majority.

@Angrymum22 Not sure what research you did but most students don’t foot the bill for uni when attending or afterward. The high earning do. Many courses cost more than fees. Most students don’t repay the loans. It’s a grad tax. It’s not a bsnk
loan. Grants disappeared when loans started. Only a few students got full grants for uni before that. Far fewer poorer students went to uni. Parents incomes were assessed via LA Grants and Awards and they paid a contribution.