Durham - deeply disappointed child - any admissions insight

[albertandlilylight]

First choice university by a mile and really really wants to go there and college system would suit very well. 43 (IB) in predicted grades, am told by school very good school reference and personal statement. However, got an offer for a course did not apply for and for which has no interest. Don't understand at all. Worked so hard all the way through school, told hard work rewards and then this. Anyone got any insight to how Durham are offering and is there anything that can be done from here?

I've worked at Durham and have been involved in student admissions ecruitment. I literally have never heard anyone express an opinion like this. I honestly don''t think that anyone involved in the admission process had the slightest interest in where else people have applied to.

Not sure how having a pushy parent at age 11 is beneficial with regard to a level results at age 18. Even if the parents are still pushy it doesn't mean the student has to work less hard. Class sizes are even larger in the 6th form and teaching no better. A fair proportion of students didn't even go to the grammar school until they were 16.

The class size makes a huge difference. I went to a comprehensive where a level classes were small and I think that was much better than being at a grammar school with often 30 or more children to a class. The joke is that many grammar schools now let pupils considered to be at a disadvantage in with lower marks at age 11 only to find they no longer get a contextual offer at 18 because they are suddenly considered privileged.

Did your children not get in then?

The old chestnut @mellicauli that parents who can’t afford tutors don’t care about their DC’s education. You do realise that’s total bollocks.

What does she want to do as a career? Surely any degree from Durham is going to be good grounding. Seriously there are working class kids just as bright as your offspring that haven’t had anything like her advantages and would kill to be in her position, so a bit of humility might be the most adult approach to this.

There is quite a lot of schadenfreude on this thread. It is really unpleasant.

Honestly, I know a couple of young people who went to Durham and they’re ok, but if the majority are like the parents on here, it must be hell.

Looking at the archeology course website looks like there’s a lot of history involved. Might be really interesting.

Private schools do not necessarily have smaller class sizes nor better teaching. The advantage may be much the same as that conferred by a selective state school. Nor do they necessarily have better facilities. I think when people think private they think Eton or Harrow, not the struggling provincial private schools in small towns. They may be better than their local comprehensive but are not anywhere near Tiffin girls or St Olave’s Grammar School, both state, which got 92% and 94% A*-B at A level, compared to Bedford girls school and Ibstock Place school (private) which got 75% and 72% respectively - and I could only find a league table with the top 150 private schools on it. There are a lot more worse performing ones.

My son didn’t get into Durham was bitterly disappointed and ended up at The University of Nottingham, it was the best thing that ever happened to him.These things often turn out for the best.

So why do people pay a fortune for private schools if they are no better? It isn't the same as sending your child yo a grammar because they have passed the exam to get in. You don't have much choice in many areas.

Hmm but to op’s daughter it’s most no likely being offered fashion textiles rather than graphic design. Might be interesting if the subject was not the be all and end all and Durham uni was. Otherwise it is a related but entirely different subject and a bit baffling.

Because even though it is worse than grammar schools and many state schools, it is still better than the local comprehensive.

Most areas do not have grammar schools.

Re: Grammar schools, there's often a catchment area involved as well. Some state schools are just as good or better than a private school, but in cities you'll have to pay almost £1 million to live in a house anywhere near them and fight a bunch of other parents to get a cheaper flat. So it all comes back to money again, doesn't it?

Working class parents, no matter how engaged, can't make the move to a more salubrious area to get their kids into the best state schools. Or if you live in a small town in the sticks, you get the school you get and there's no moving to get around a poorly performing one.

No shade on the independent school pupils, they likely had a rich learning environment, better trips and extracurriculars, and got better grades because of their parents investment. It must be a wonderful experience. It's nevet a waste to invest in your kids' education. And while they may not be able to guarantee their first choice of University place, they will get in somewhere good. Any University will be lucky to have them.

So why not send to a grammar school or good state school if it is so much better and you don't have to pay?

Because grammar schools only exist in a few parts of the country and most people in small towns don’t get a choose of secondary, and those in larger places may be allocated a failing one. Not everyone is in a position to up stick, change jobs and move to an area with better schools.

But a lot of parents do weigh up the choice - do they move house to a better catchment spending the money on a more expensive mortgage, or pay private. My brother did that - paid private for their eldest because moving would have made his commute too long and the local school he was allocated was a failing school. He then changed jobs and moved house before his youngest reached that age. The youngest got into a state school near their new house which had results that were on par with the eldest’s private school.

"archaeology and ancient civilisations instead of archaeology and ancient history." They are probably fairly similar. If is between durham and Exeter and possibly Bristol those 3 are probably all going to be pretty good and were on the lists of most of my 5 children (3 went to Bristol and one didn't meet his grades for Exeter so went to Reading).

As for private v state it is very hard to generalise. Bristol has complicated contextual offer systems and has for years. I remember delivering some stuff to someone my son knows who was at Bristol - they live in a 3 MILLION pound house near us! I could not believe yet they have had contexntuals and all sorts, extra money, bursaries - I suppose some people just know how to play the system

It's not good to generalise. I was not pushy, just supportive and found out what needed to be done to give my kids a chance in the best local schools. It involved asking around parents with older kids as to how it all worked, I checked to make sure I knew the deadlines for entering them into any admissions exams. I sent off for a few 11+books and "tutored" them myself. I don't have any teaching qualifications or experience, I was just an interested parent. Who didn't have any spare money for a tutor and certainly didn't have any spare money for private education. I am so so proud of my DS who used his natural ability and drive, and the academic rigours and supportive atmosphere of that school to get himself to Cambridge.

I certainly think that kids who have parents who couldn't give a shit, who send them to any old school for convenience, or who have 6 noisy kids in a 3 bedroomed house, should get contextual offers. But I also think that talented young people like my own DS should get a chance at being the best that HE can be too.

The problem is there just aren't places for everyone. It must be very hard rejecting students who you know would thrive in the course they've applied for.

That’s lovely for your Ds @CurlyhairedAssassin but read your post again and think whether it’s really true that your ds got himself into Cambridge.

So you think that because I looked into the process for how to get into the nearest selective school at age 11 and bought him a couple of work-at-home books this resulted in him getting into Cambridge 7 years later? We live in an ordinary house, I have an ordinary job earning not much above minimum wage. It is not a grammar area but a superselective, with kids travelling as far as they want to if they have the academic ability. DH didn't even go to uni, I went to an ex poly and have never earned much. Neither of our sets of parents went to uni. It wasn't our idea for DS to go to Cambridge, he just announced to us that he felt he had a chance and would like to go and he did the rest. He's doing a subject that DH and I have no knowledge or ability at. School didn't help with any interview prep like I hear some private schools do. He is from a very average background compared to many people he's met at Cambridge who have come from a private school background or wealthy international families who are super confident socially. So yes, I am proud of him.

Just for interest. DD who was rejected post interview for Oxford, is now at Exeter doing History. Very, very good dept. Full f2f these last two years, everything also recorded if you can't get to lectures, particularly the 8.30 ones. Personal tutors, great access to module professors, she's had some really interesting modules, and has also chosen some optional theology and ancient civilization modules. There seems to be a lot of flexibility within the dept. Quite a few Oxbridge and Durham rejects floating around down there!