Medicine 2023 Entry - Part 4

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Anyone out there with DC applying or reapplying for Medicine 2023, please join a friendly thread for mutual support and useful advice.

Bitter laugh @MerchSwyddEfrog - we are welsh too, he did 60% of his interview in Welsh and my DS is also hard working, self-disciplined, compassionate, talented...still nothing. He had a tough time finding his tribe and i so wish things would go his way for once, I vehemently dislike this process. It doesn't bring out the best in me!

Congratulations @Ame45 . I'm glad things have all worked out.

@MerchSwyddEfrog really hope that Cardiff offer comes through. Everything crossed for your DS. He sounds lovely.

@MerchSwyddEfrog and @IGoWalkingAfterMidnight hand hold from a mum of 2 sons who took gap years to re-apply. There is still time for the offers to come through, hope you will be celebrating soon.

BUT the interview process favours girls - a surgeon explained to me that because boys go through puberty later and the kind of skills required for interview are easier for more mature people, boys may need an extra year to catch up. It worked for mine and they had a productive gap year after which they were both more ready to be excellent medical students.

Thanks for your kind and supportive words @Monkey2001 - very much appreciated. We have discussed options for a gap year - any tips would be helpful at this point!

Thanks for your kind words everyone. I really do appreciate it.

I think you are right about the interview process favouring girls @Monkey2001 . I was looking the other day at the breakdown of places offered by sex and lots more girls were offered places than boys.

Really hope our boys get a place at Cardiff @IGoWalkingAfterMidnight . Your son doing the interview in 60% Welsh is amazing, my son can’t remember anything from his GCSE Welsh! I try to talk to him in Welsh (I’m learning the language ) but don’t get far.

We have spoken about a gap year too and my son would get a job at the local hospital, we are 5 mins away as a HCA.

@IGoWalkingAfterMidnight sorry I missed your post. Wishing your DS all the best too. I hope he gets some good news soon. It is a really tough process x

It is so hard for our children and hard for us mums too.

@IGoWalkingAfterMidnight and @MerchSwyddEfrog - keeping everything crossed for you. Such a brutal process.

Good luck @IGoWalkingAfterMidnight and @MerchSwyddEfrog Really wishing the best for your DC

@IGoWalkingAfterMidnight and @MerchSwyddEfrog Don't panic if the offers don't come at the same as other people receive theirs. My DD was devastated this time 2 years ago when offers started to be sent out and she didn't hear anything. She assumed that a rejection would follow in a few days. However, an offer came through between around 48 hours afterwards - the relief was huge. DD also had an offer for Manchester but chose Cardiff and loves the course, the city and student life.

My son has had 2 rejections so far, 1 pre interview and 1 post interview. We are waiting for Cardiff and Liverpool. I thought he would have a good chance with Cardiff as we are Welsh and he said his interview went well. I’m so worried that he will get another rejection and it will crush his spirit

I had 4 rejections before a last minute interview which led to my offer. I too would have taken a gap year to "go again". I have to say medicine needs resilience if he is "crushed" by rejection then medicine may not be for him.

I get what you're saying about resilience, but I think that's a bit harsh tbh.

Most of these kids are not used to dealing with rejection and failure, so it's bound to hit them hard at first. They haven't had much practice dealing with it. That doesn't mean that they won't eventually pick themselves back up again and carry on, and obviously, that's what many of them have to do, but it's hardly surprising that some of them will be "crushed" if they end up without any offers at all. And it's hardly surprising that parents will worry about this... as others on this thread have said, it's brutal.

My dd is lucky enough to have an offer already, but I know that she would have been gutted if things had gone differently and she'd had to start the process all over again next year - rightly or wrongly, I think it would have been a massive knock to her confidence. I don't think being very upset about it would have been a reflection on her suitability for medicine... just a normal human reaction imo.

Those who don't get offers and genuinely don't have the resilience that the role requires will presumably not bother applying second time round in any case. Many will, but I think are allowed a period of feeling devastated before they have to start all over again?

Possibly, but med school is tough and doctoring is tougher. Once at medical school there is no time to " have a period of feeling devastated". If these kids make it, being rejected 1st time round will be not even close to the hardest thing they have to deal with.

Another thing a doctor needs is empathy, I had explained in my first post that we had had an awful year and my post was more about my fears than how my son was coping. He seams fine at the moment but it’s me who is worried and scared. You have made a judgement on my son from one post and completely missed what I was trying say. I needed sympathy not judgement. This isn’t AIBU!

Maybe you need to reflect about how your words can impact others @Dyslexicwonder doctoring is also about reflection! It’s not just about resilience.

Of course not, they will obviously have to deal with some very tough situations in a medical career, I don't doubt that. But they're 17 and very likely to be dealing with failure for the very first time. They will learn from it, I'm sure, and probably come out stronger as a result, but I think it would be pretty normal in that situation for them to take the disappointment quite hard.

@MerchSwyddEfrog, I hope your ds is OK and that he manages to stay positive through this difficult process. Fingers crossed that he'll get an offer from one of the ones that he's still waiting for.

Disappointed yes, but the adjectives used are " crushed" and "devastated". Those are big words.

Of course not, they will obviously have to deal with some very tough situations in a medical career, I don't doubt that. But they're 17 and very likely to be dealing with failure for the very first time

Why are they dealing with failure for the first time at 17 ?

childmind.org/article/how-to-help-kids-learn-to-fail/

Learning to deal with set backs is very important and something DCs should have learnt long before 17.

You have no idea what goes on in someone’s life from a few words on an Internet forum. You are picking on my words and making it fit your narrative, this is not a good trait for a doctor. I know what crushed and devastated means, I have lived it for the last year. This thread is supposed to be a supportive thread for parents of children who are going through med school applications.

I think your post is really harsh @Dyslexicwonder these are 17 yr olds, possibly 18 yr olds, with little world experience at the moment, full of hope, excitement at the prospect of a career in medicine, probably having sailed through life without much or any experience of failure. Being "crushed" or "devastated" by a rejection - being told you're not good enough (post interview) for the first time - is hardly surprising. It absolutely doesn't mean they're not capable of being fantastic doctors in the future.

Completely agree with you @Africa2go . It is harsh especially when the words have been taken out of context . I explained that this was my fear and worry.

And my son has experienced failure before at 17. The criticism in @Dyslexicwonder posts almost feels like a oneupmanship attitude used to make themselves feel superior. It’s not nice.

This has been such a lovely, supportive thread. Let's not derail it with an argument, please.

The semantics of whether someone is "crushed" or just "disappointed" are kind of irrelevant. Parents are coming here for support through what most people would agree is a pretty tough admissions process.

It's a brutal process and most kids who really care about the outcome are likely to be very upset if they don't get a place first time round. Arguably, if they aren't upset, they clearly don't care about it enough.

Really hope that all those still waiting manage to get that one elusive offer... they only need one!!

DS1 was crushed first time he was rejected from Cambridge. But he dealt with it and moved on and is happy with the path he is on. Bad experiences in life can make you stronger, even if you are crushed initially. When these kids get to medical school most will get used to no longer being the best in their years, and of course as you go through life, the troubles that hit you grow in scale. Sympathy (and Domino's and Ben and Jerry's) is the appropriate response!

Like the song says, "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger!"

There will be worse things in life that our DC will have to deal with than a med school rejection. Of that there is no doubt. However, right now they are seventeen and a med school place means the world to them. If they don't get a place, of course they will feel devastated and crushed. There is no shame in that and it is in no way a reflection of some character weakness. It shows they care. And they should if they are going to be good doctors. Now can we please get this thread back into the supportive spirit that it has kept throughout.

Yes doctors need to be resilient. We know that. The DC know that. But that's all for another day.