DH is limiting Y12 DC to universities in the north due to ££££

[BatteredHonda]

DC is in Y12 and wants to apply to KCL, Bristol and Exeter - alongside other unis. DC will qualify for minimum maintenance loan and we are therefore expected to top up/pay the accommodation. We struggle to make ends meet as it is so DH has said DC canNOT apply to southern unis - let alone London ones. He is recommending Leicester, Newcastle, Swansea, Belfast etc instead. DC is furious but I do get where DH coming from. What are your thoughts?

Great! So he can use his earnings from the summer to fund the excess living costs in his first year then.

Needs must when the Devil drives, as they say. You ds may find that he WILL have to make the choice between sports or flipping burgers, but that'll be up to him. He does sound a bit like some of the kids dd knows at Exeter though, who get angry when their parents can't stump up the cash to get them the life they were leading at home.

Make sure your ds at least knows how to cook and what constitutes a healthy, if impecunious, diet. Far too many end up wasting their dosh on take-aways as they have no idea how domore than toast or fried eggs. If he doesn't already, have him help you prep and cook veg, lots and lots of veg.

Why can't DC get a job and top up what you fund to attend the uni they want to/is best for their their subject?

So basically your DS has wisely looked at the best universities for history that offer a good rowing club and has already started to look for summer jobs and in reading the job bit it ‘‘twas you who thought he would be too tired not him.

@BatteredHonda let him make his own choices because so far his seem fairly on point. Set out clearly the f8nancial support you can give him and then let him adult himself he seems capable

I think it’s reasonable - my parents told me they couldn’t afford for me to go to London.

Then my sister applied for a niche course that’s only offered in a few unis and so she applied to London, and it was her only offer..

I'm from London and went to uni by the coast - I didn't have any top ups from parents. I worked part time throughout my degree and topped up my own maintenance loan etc. if he wants to go elsewhere he can go but he needs to know that he will have to pay his own way above whatever you're willing to provide him.

Don't think It's fair to limit his options because you can't afford, encourage him to do what he wants but just make the above known.

@BatteredHonda

I'm with your dh here to a degree.

If your topping upto maximum grant then anything extra ds will have to earn himself.

It's a massive commitment for two or three years from you and your dh and it's a big ask to expect parents to fund it.

I certainly wouldn't if I couldn't afford to.

What happens when things go up again which they will be in the next month or so.

Our council tax,water,rent,electric and gas is all going up again soon and food is constantly going up.

Does your ds understand that you guys have to live aswell?

Do you have other dc?

Newcastle is probably worth a look as good for history and v good rowing club.

Do you know how much he will earn with Mark Warner? I rather suspect that after deducting board and lodging, he will be left with a pittance. My impression is that its a lifestyle choice not a way to earn proper money.

£2k pa Rowing Scholarship at Durham
www.durham.ac.uk/colleges-and-student-experience/enrichment-activities/sports/

It’s certainly a factor to take into consideration. Similarly we ll be thinking twice if dd decides to go for one of the London universities. Many of the U.K. student at London universities actually live at home and commute in from second year, for cost reasons.

The problem the boy has is his parents don't earn very much. My 5 didn't have jobs (other than occasionally a summer in a holiday resort abroad where you really just earn your board and beer money) but I could afford pay their rent etc.

"What about suggesting Durham, Warwick, York, Manchester, Leeds & Sheffield.
All great Unis and none are down south. Suggesting unis that are lower in ranking than he has suggested seems strange." Absolutely. Durham is second only to Oxbridge and near Newcastle where I am from. My son's friend had a great time at Warwick. My children's cousin went to Durham (as did my father). I went to Manchester. York is good. One of my sons had Edinburgh (had he not got his grades for Bristol).

Wow, please encourage your DS to apply for where he wants and where the best course is that he is interested in. Unis such as Exeter have an excellent reputation and their halls can be much cheaper than Leeds and Manchester. Your ‘D’ H is really being shortsighted here and he risks alienating your son.

Because of my parents income I got minimal loan (£3k at the time) and max fees to pay (£1250). My rent, in the cheapest uni halls was £60 per week for 40 weeks (£2400). And may parents gave me £0 help towards uni. I literally worked every evening and weekend. It was a fairly miserable time if I'm honest and I did not enjoy uni or get any of the fun elements of it (no societies joined, no clubs, no life long friends because I could never go out). So I can kind of see where your DH is coming from! Uni is miserable if you have to work constantly.

He needs to get his lifeguard qualifications now, our city is crying out for students qualified to teach kids swimming at weekends- much better paid than most jobs and history isn't going to be that many set hours.

Good luck to him!

I did this back in the days of maintenance grants only applied to places where I could afford the accomodation and the coach fair back home was cheap. I came to the conclusion based on my own calculations though.
Perhaps if you show your DS the money he'll have and he can work out what he can afford on that budget. Fwiw I don't think southern unis are better than northern ones unless you're wanting the reputation of Cambridge & Oxford

Xenia, Durham is really not second to Oxbridge!!

Lots of great universities in the North including Manchester, Leeds, York etc but I don't think he should be limited to where he applies. He has to be the one to decide, it's his life.

He will need to cut down to one sport at university I would think. Swimming at dds Uni was as full on as competitive club training and county level wouldn’t get accepted. Look at where is good for his preferred sport as well as his course. Loughborough does sound a good fit for him if spot is important to I’m.
Lifeguard training is definitely worth doing, a week long course and opens up work most places. Having said that a friends dd went to Newcastle and the council there was hopeless for lifeguarding jobs, so check it out before going. Similarly Loughborough is full of swimmers so it’s hard to get a job there lifeguarding.
Leeds and York are both expensive for accommodation.

Typos everywhere sorry

@BatteredHonda
The issue is that if he’s doing history, and assuming he gets the grades for somewhere like Bristol, Durham or Exeter, he should go to somewhere like this. If he is aiming high with a career. Some of the other universities are not the same. DS is right.

I do think sport is more valuable than burger flipping if you are going for a high flying job. Something to talk about at interview. He should aim to get work experience whilst at university. Many employers want suitable work experience when dc are older and targeted to their career. Far more important than a fairly boring job right now. I’m assuming it’s not managing a burger chain. Training and competing and juggling work is a skill in itself.

I hope he gets the job he wants this summer. Seems like a good plan. My DD didn’t have a single friend at uni who worked - Bristol. I think your DS knows what he wants. He just needs to work out how to get it and you, as parents, should make his money up to max loan levels. That’s fair. Do you work?

I don’t think he’s right. How much does he think they need to live on after accommodation is paid for? We have 2 dc at universities. We do exactly that, top up to the full loan figure. I also pay their phone contracts. Both dc have some savings from holiday jobs. Both are managing fine.

Good on him for applying. Don't suggest Northumbria to him. The number of DC who have walked away from there as first years in DS's wider social circle is close to double digits.

That’s interesting, what has been the problem? It’s always been very popular with students from here and all have loved it, but I don’t know any who have gone this year so has something changed?

@Somanyquestionstoaskaboutthis Seems to be very low contact hours, low pitch of course content, a feeling really poor value for money. It includes both boys and girls across different subjects. One girl on a creative arts course is happy. Most seem to be thinking of graduate apprenticeships instead. Most went through clearing so a rushed decision may be a factor?

You are correct.