Oxford/Cambridge - current students support/chat thread 2022 - cont

[Panicmode1]

@petitebleu - so sorry to hear about your DS. I hope that some time out over Christmas may help to give him some space and time to think about his next steps.

He sent me the link; I would never have known to listen otherwise!

@ofteninaspin last summer DD was going to a ball on the day her American summer school students arrived. She turned up at their welcome pizza night in a scarlet ballgown with her colleague in white tie. The US students must have thought they were on an episode of Downton Abbey.

@HewasH20 I bet they did!

That reminds me of when I was at uni, I was studying in Russia for my 3rd year and flew home (which at the time was Brussels) for Christmas. Coincidentally my bf (now DH!) also lived there so when I arrived back at the airport, I was greeted by my parents, carrying three huge florets of broccoli because I had said I was absolutely craving green vegetables, and DH in black tie holding a HUGE bunch of roses. (He'd been at an embassy drinks party!) Not sure what the assembled crowd in the arrivals hall must have thought 😂

Well that's it. Her last ever tute essay has been handed in.

Just catching up on everyone's news and I too find it so hard to believe that for some of our DCs, this is the last year! It really seems so recent since they began at O & C and had all the Covid restrictions to deal with and a whole term from home.

@ofteninaspin I'm so sorry to hear your DS has shingles! Poor thing! I hope he can get a complete rest so he can recuperate.

@SchrodingersKitty I'm very pleased to hear that your DS keeps reporting that he's happy. This is far more important really than whether or not he gets the First he deserves but of course I hope he does also achieve his full potential, especially after going through so much at a young age.

@JulesJules sorry to hear your DD1 is ill again. There are so many nasty viruses going around right now and end of term stress and overwork won't help either. Hope she recovers very soon.

@Ironoaks great news about your own choir promotion!

I'll be picking up DS2 from O on Saturday and hoping that driving conditions aren't too bad. I think he may just have submitted his thesis today and has been very busy with lots of late nights doing social events, mainly with rowing club and other sports captains. I pick up DS1 from C a week later and he's got one more essay to do this term and then his entire dissertation to write. He keeps indicating he's on top of everything though, so I hope he doesn't do a last minute rushed job.

DS2 has another career-related interview online on Monday and DS2 has an in-person one the following week and then his vac scheme a week or so later too. Neither has yet secured the end goal but at least they've kept trying.

@goodbyestranger I've kept thinking about your DD's loss of all her belongings, academic notes and cash at the start of term and hope she found a way to reconstitute at least some of her notes. Hope she hasn't found the term too stressful, given this difficult start. I'm sure all of us here still hold out hope for some miracle that all her stuff will be found.

@mutterphore - good luck to them for their applications

@HewasH20 it has gone very quickly

Thanks @mutterphore she says she's really looking forward to coming home for a rest, although she has her dissertation to finish too.

I have also been thinking of @goodbyestranger 's Dd and hoping that her stuff would turn up somewhere.

@ofteninaspin really sorry to read about DS and shingles. Glad the college was supportive and hope he is soon on the mend.

@Ironoaks congratulations, especially on the promotion!

Nothing much to report from me but DD has decided she wants to come home at the end of March, which is unexpected, but hopefully nice.

I'm looking forward to having ds home. He finally seems to have found his feet socially and is going out a bit more. He's even delayed coming home a couple of days so he can go to a Ball at another college. He's doing an integrated Masters so thankfully has 1 more year.
@goodbyestranger I'm another one who frequently thinks about your dd and her notes - hope all is well for her?

Thanks @Malbecfan , DS is on quite a cocktail of meds/pain killers but seems in better spirits. He recently had a break through with his dissertation data and doesn't want to interrupt the flow of work to come home so we remain on standby. Meanwhile, his staircase have been an excellent "care" team, collecting prescriptions and preparing food despite them all being super busy.

I hope you enjoy a rare visit home from your DD at the end of the month!

@mutterphore good luck to your two with their applications. I am sure their tenacity will be rewarded.

@mutterphore If anyone understands "If at first you don't succeed, try and try again" it is your boys. They have proved their resilience in the past. Many grad schemes in the professions have multiple entry points, so they have plenty of time to find the role that suits them & get what they deserve for their degrees.

Oh thank you mutterphore, JulesJules and beeswain, it's incredibly kind of you to still be thinking about DD. We were hoping that the thieves might have kept the £1000 and abandoned the case but no, nothing at all on that front. I've been on the road for a week with a broken phone - not the best combination. Just arrived back home, where DD should join me on Monday with luck. She's flying from Birmingham International this time, a first attempt on that route.

I added an Airtag to DD's birthday presents after your DD4's theft, with a reminder to pop it into luggage if she's travelling.

Great to read everyone's news. I feel very strongly that these young people will be fantastic assets wherever they go.

A great afternoon on the C towpath seeing ds row. He is loving it. His previous sport was quite ascetic in that I don't think he won anything, ever; he had to find satisfaction in personal development and the very occasional PB. He also did lots of gym work which he enjoyed but was quite solo too. Now being part of a sport which involves teams and lots and lots of small races so plenty of people get to win something is very nice for him.

That is such an uplifting post re your son's rowing @PermanentTemporary. I am a massive advocate of team sports and they have been hugely important and beneficial to my DC's enjoyment of their time at Oxbridge.

Good move H20!

Let's hope easyjet doesn't lose DD4's luggage today....

I've not been around for a while on these threads, but @HewasH20 kindly messaged me, so a little update on my DS....

This was meant to be his third and final year of his degree but he suspended studies with his college agreement to pursue some issues with undiagnosed neurological conditions (I won't spell it out, but I am sure you can guess). He's stayed in Oxford to do this and found some part time work to keep him going.

We are fortunate that we could fund him for private consultations (NHS waiting lists are long). We've all learnt a lot more about how his mind work and explanations for some of his behaviours growing up. (I think he managed through it because he always had the memory and language skills to succeed academically, while being bright enough to consciously learn how to just about navigate social interactions). He's got the diagnoses and treatments he needs, and things are looking positive for him resuming study in October.

To protect his privacy, I can't name his college, but I wish I could because they have put a lot of resource into welfare, and so far I would strongly praise the welfare staff for the way they've given him the help he needs. (I'm sure it's not the only college to get how important this is, particularly in the context of the intense Oxford terms).

I collected DS2 (O) yesterday and it's lovely to have him home. He's well and happy and full or energy, having submitted his thesis in good time. Like your DS @PermanentTemporary , he wasn't known for his sporty prowess at school but has made the most of all the opportunities at Oxford with lots of rowing, hockey etc and goes for very long runs every day. I feel very fat and unfit by comparison and am about to be 'taken out' on a morning walk by him, having warned him in advance just how unfit I am!

@PermanentTemporary it sounds like your DS has really benefited from his own rowing and exercise at Cambridge and how lovely to watch him on the river!

Thanks for the good wishes for my DS1 and DS2 with their career applications. Persisting, giving things a go and learning from trying, impress me more than ultimate achievement and I think are really good life skills.

@goodbyestranger good luck to your DD flying home on Monday. It does seem ridiculous that none of her luggage has turned up and makes me wonder what on earth thieves do with all the things they don't actually want from a theft? Why can't they just leave them at a station somewhere? I hope she can one day look back on what happened as just an anecdote to recount about her time at Oxford and not something too traumatic, poor thing.

DadDadDad I sing DD'S college's praises in exactly the same way. The next 3 months are going to prove very challenging for her, but the welfare support she receives for her (ditto what he said) conditions are second to none. I'm so pleased to hear your update and I sincerely hope that when I'm lurking here next year that I read all about how a short break has proved just what your DS needed.

Lots of positivity here, which is great to read.

@DadDadDad that's great news about your DS. We have found DD's college to be great on the pastoral front, but it's a shame that only the bad things ever seem to get noticed.

@goodbyestranger good luck to DD4 with Sleazyjet tomorrow.

@PermanentTemporary how exciting to see your DS row! You may well have seen my DD. She sent us a photo of her crew where she's carrying the college flag because they won technical blades. For those like me who know nothing much about it, Friday's rowing was red flagged due to flooding, so no boats were allowed out. Saturday's was yellow flagged meaning only experienced crews could race. DD's boat bumped on all the days rowing happened and Friday counted as a row-over so DD is very happy.

I agree about the whole sports thing. Neither of my DDs liked or excelled in school sports, apart from badminton. However, both are proficient dancers and both have represented their universities in varsity dance competitions this term. DD1 is strong but petite and whilst she has done a bit of rowing, she has done a lot of coxing.

@mutterphore enjoy your walks. I do walk with my DF on days when I am not working, so this morning we had a short amble by the beach. He's quite slow now so it's not really much exercise for me. When DD2 is home in early April and DF has gone back, we'll do a lot more.

@DadDadDad it's good to hear from you. You may be aware that DS has experience of this; do feel free to message if I can be of help or support.

I'm jealous you got to watch some of the rowing @PermanentTemporary - DS sounds v similar to yours in that he actively avoided team sports at school and fenced or swam, so it's been magical to see him enjoy being part of an eight. He was disappointed they didn't get to race yesterday, but he seems to have enjoyed the Boat Club dinner last night!

It's also lovely to read positive stories from the "veterans" on the thread, and that there is good support when they struggle. DS had a wobble a couple of weeks ago and I urged him to get some pastoral help, but he said he didn't need any though knew where it was if he changed his mind.

So sad to hear that the stolen suitcase never turned up. 😢

@DadDadDad, thank you for the update and so glad your DS is being well supported and on track for resuming in October.

@goodbyestranger , I do hope it's a trouble free journey home for your DD!

@mutterphore I hope you had a lovely morning walk. It's a great habit to develop. I do a spin class or a run every morning to keep me sane!

DS1 is home for a bit of R&R for a few days before going back to Oxford to study. DD is home for the the whole vacation. Both look so tired but seem very happy.

DS1 has really enjoyed amateur rowing. DS2 is a very serious rower (off to US to row at an Ivy League college ) and I think he's touched to see his big brother having a go.

DD took part in her first Oxford show yesterday. A genre that is very close to DH's heart. He was very touched. She's really thriving in Oxford now, lots of singing.

DS1 has a good internship set from June to July and is just waiting to hear about another one in August. Part of me hopes he doesn't get it so he can come to the Alps with us. That's bad I know but I can't help it!

Lovely to hear your update @DadDadDad

Great to hear people's updates.

@DadDadDad good to hear from you and news of your DS. This all sounds very helpful for him and I'm so glad his college have been very supportive. Good luck to him!

My 'walk' turned into a 3 hour one with DS2 clearly being very kind at my slower pace. Recent health issues have prevented me doing my usual exercise so I'm very unfit but enjoyed the sunshine and seeing a very large 'Mad March' hare sitting right in the middle of the path and lots of other wildlife too.

Meanwhile, DS1 (C), still at college and in the final week of term, is writing his final essay - until his finals' essay of course and tomorrow has a day long online career-related assessment. Then the rest of this week I hope he'll at least make a start on his dissertation......