Oxford/Cambridge - current students support/chat thread 2022 - cont

[Panicmode1]

@petitebleu - so sorry to hear about your DS. I hope that some time out over Christmas may help to give him some space and time to think about his next steps.

Thank you, i hope it settles down, I'm very fond of this cohort of kids and the parents have always been, until now, good company.
It must feel raw, and each new milestone, interview, offer, Elat results, just picks at the scab.

I'd echo the advice already elsethread regarding disappointments. DS and his mates have gone through something similar. Some made it some didn't but it is in the past now for them. Parents might be brittle for longer. As far as visiting I'd suggest that you do; it cemented DS's ambition from 'Cambridge, that is soo-o-o cool' (sigh) to his getting in. All was so more tangible than the offer holder's open day via Teams. We rolled up one lovely day early in May (easy for us it is only 23 miles away) bussed in from the Park & Ride and then walked to the College which is just to the N. of Kings College Chapel. Made very welcome by a succession of charming and helpful porters. A walkabout was all that was needed. One important piece of advice re C results for entrance exams. DS' were posted online at midnight on the eve of A levels results. I advised him to wait. He ignored my advice. He did not fully meet the offer for C STEP (Maths) and it took a lot of talking to get him out the pit. As it turns out he exceeded the A level results required and had better marks in STEP than the middle spread so he got in and is doing fine now. Be patient!

Strongly recommend using the park & ride for any visit to O.

Meanwhile, in carriage D of Cross Country between BNS & Oxford tonight there was no sign of any classics notes or suitcase thieves. My case stayed firmly above my head.

Echo the Park and Ride recommendation for non drop-offs and pick-ups. I'm keeping an eye out for the proposed expansion of the zero emissions zone in Oxford, too. It's currently confined to just a few streets in a pilot zone.

@WeatherWizard - the comments do subside over time. As others have said it's best to keep quiet and let them process their own feelings.

Agree about using the Oxford park and ride where possible. I do park in town sometimes but only for a flying visit (2 hours max).

@WeatherWizard congrats to your DS on his offer! DH and I went to Christ Church and loved it. It was touristy even before Harry Potter but it’s all well managed and not a big deal.

I must admit we’ve never used the park and ride in either O or C but we are always on flying visits. Both councils seem to have got the post-covid power craze of making dramatic restrictions to car use. We had a nightmare dropping off DD1 in her rented house recently because of the road closures off Cowley Road, which were all very poorly signed.

My DC seem to be ticking along. DD1 in a fog of stress re finals. DS1 keeping his head above water (just) but the workload is punishing. DD2 busy with lots of music (but very little in her actual degree…).

Good to hear people's news. It's pretty appalling though that your DD has had to give up on counselling , given the terrible service there, @JulesJules . I'm glad her stuff turned up however.

@ofteninaspin that's very good news that your DS has now accepted a job offer and it must make the future feel a lot clearer, so he can just concentrate on his degree now. My two are trying very hard to secure their next step, after university but the competition is fierce and so far, only one of them is even getting to the interview stage.

@goodbyestranger , I really hope your DD's academic notes turn up at some point. I'd probably better not say what career DS1 and DS2 are both aiming for, just to preserve their privacy but they're both choosing the same career path and persisting with applications. DS2 has had a run of assessment days/ interviews recently but is currently relaxing back into his degree and this feels like a relief to him. In a different world, he'd probably best suit the life of an Oxford academic and writer but he's realistic about needing a well paid career. DS1 has only had a few 'stage two', pre-interview successes but not near the interview stage yet and meanwhile has his busiest academic term yet. Both in some ways are already mentally moving on into the world beyond university, although most of their friends are planning to stay on and do Masters.

@pantjog hope your DD1 doesn't get too stressed about her finals and I'm sure she'll do fine. Nice that your DD2 is enjoying lots of music and keeping her degree in perspective I hope. Your poor DS1 with his very heavy workload and I think he's doing one of those subjects that are just frenetically busy. So, well done to him managing at all.

@WeatherWizard the comments die down, people do take way more interest in O/C than other places and once their child is happy all (should) be well. Just to note I think that CC freshers are in a block that is very unHogwarts. A friend has a child there who seems happy and settled. We have used JustPark app to find somewhere closer in than the Park & Ride, there are lots of tourists- because it is pretty! Same true of York, Edinburgh etc too of course!

Thank you everyone, lovely to see you so proud and positive. Thanks for all the make a plan for parking the car stuff.

We all carry baggage through life and everyone seems to be quite emotional about Oxbridge. Probably could tick off most on a list. We've had going to get all posh from one set of grandparents, leave us behind from the other.
Lots of having to work hard type comments but I think most Oxbridge kids will have been doing that since primary. That won't be a surprise.

Can't wait to visit again but this time not as a tourist!

It's been great getting the application in and done early. I hope it settles down once Warwick, StA, the London unis finish sending out offers and we can all be positive without running down different options.

@mutterphore, good luck to your DTs with their job applications. Multi stage applications are very time consuming.

Re parking in Oxford, we have used Clement St and Hinskey car parks and street parking off the Banbury Road depending on where DD was living.

Sorry, it's been a manic few days. @ofteninaspin congratulations to your DS. @JulesJules glad all the stuff reappeared. @mutterphore hang on in there. DD had doubts about whether to go for the PhD or apply for jobs. I tried to be her sounding board and allow her to "think out loud". She seems pretty happy if busy now. Thursdays are our bonding time over The Apprentice over WhatsApp, so at least I know they are ok.

@WeatherWizard welcome to this board and congratulations on making it to the offer stage. I don't have a lot of advice for you. Some parents are plain jealous and don't make any attempt to hide it. As for the "making them posher"-type comments, that's hilarious. Exeter has a greater proportion of Hooray Henry types than Cambridge. Despite being Devon-born, DD has northern vowels and values courtesy of her hard-working northern parents who just happen to be living in exile in the SW. Nobody takes the mick or says anything disparaging. The lifestyle aspect that most set her apart was the fact that she can drive and has a car (which is here in Devon). As @goodbyestranger will testify, public transport in rural villages/hamlets is non-existent, roads have 60mph limits and steep hills so bikes are not practical for day-to-day transport. Her Cambridge friends find that amazing, until they visit...!

I too find the St Clement Street car park great for taking DC out for a meal - haven't yet not found a space there... but maybe just hit it lucky. www.oxford.gov.uk/directory_record/345/st_clements_car_park

We live in the far north on England on a farm and DC says his contemporaries think that is very "cute". Clearly they have no idea of what feeding cattle and sheep on a bleak breezy February day is like... There is a risk that those south of Watford consider everyone north of Manchester is deprived especially if you've a northern accent like my DC. Conversely my DC is guilty of assuming everyone with a southern accent is privileged. As @WeatherWizard says we all carry our own prejudices and uni is a good place for some myth busting.

Waves at @goodbyestranger & @Malbecfan, we're over the border where the jam goes on first. How do northern vowels but resident in Devon cope with 'scone'?

Very few 17years olds here don't drive or have a wetsuit.

Part of the joy of uni is having everything you've grown up with being normal being challenged or elevated by others.

The next six months will be long, small towns in teen years are claustrophobic. How often do your children return home? Do they often bring friends? We like house guests here and it's easy to fill the time by the sea.

Ha... my dd was born and bred in Lancashire but with southern-accented parents. Her school friends thought she came from 'London'; her Cambridge pals think she's northern. Part of the evidence for the latter is her fondness for 'going for a walk', apparently.

Your daughter sounds epic @ErrolTheDragon - I have thought that for a while!

@WeatherWizard my older DD is currently studying for a PhD in Cambridge so to answer your question: once in a blue moon. She came home for a few days in July and one of her uni friends joined us. She came home for 10 days in December, so spent only 15 nights here in 2022. Whilst she was an undergrad, she came home for vacations. She would meet up with schoolfriends then but mostly did uni work/revision apart from in the summer vacations when she worked or had internships and generally managed a holiday. My younger DD is at uni elsewhere. Again she only comes home at the ends of terms. DD1 either comes back by train or I collect from her bf's parents just off the M40. I collect DD2. I try to visit in half terms if I can or am passing through.

I hate cream and strawberry jam so the Devon/Cornwall thing just bemuses me. If I go proper Manc, I say scone to rhyme with cone.

I'm the only Cornishn person who loathes clotted cream. Jam only here.

I'm a West Country muddle - my brother was born in Cornwall, my parents live in Somerset and I went to uni in Devon...I love cream but hate jam....!

Lovely to hear everyone's news. DS is now rowing 5 or 6 times a week and has made the college 2nd boat (having not rowed until he started) and he got to make a speech at the Union last night, albeit in the "warm up debate". He still wants to have a go in a main debate, but says the law and humanities students tend to win more of the auditions. Apparently they were a bit bemused he was an engineer 🤣

@WeatherWizard DS has started bringing friends home which is lovely and he has been down to the SW in a large group to invade some other poor family who seemed pleased to have them.

@Panicmode1 My DC rowing schedule seems similar to yours- good the river is now open again. I imagine he is looking forward to Torpids. I hope to go and watch on the first day as I can tie in with a work trip. Impressive about the Union speech - DC doesn't go / boycotts it which is a shame as there are some great speakers and he loved debating at school and it is pretty pricey to join. I joined but rarely went.

I thought the St Clements carpark was my little secret, haha! It's the one we always use and have never not got a space.

Next time you go to St Clements carpark, you'll all be on the look out for fellow Mumsnetters - might be time to bring back the scarf and the haircut from days of yore.

@JulesJules @Enviromont ha ha! I'll next be there in 5th week for Torpids...

Hello, hoping DS gets his offer grades. He has an offer day in February (I get to be his plus 1😀). I didn't go to open day etc (DS went). Just wondered in Cambridge is there anywhere that people could recommend for a nice lunch or dinner. Want to treat DS , though knowing him he'll probably want pizza or Nandos ! We're do you recommend going for a walk. Suddenly it's starting to feel a bit real.

"Where" do you recommend going for a walk?

Apart from wandering round the central college area, 'going for a walk' in Cambridge usually turns out to be either along the river towards Grantchester or along the river towards Fen Ditton IME.

Re food, if you want to get out of the most touristy bit, there's quite a few restaurants out along Mill Road - we enjoyed Bedouin which is North African, a bit different.

I'd agree with Mill Road for food, or walk along the Backs south to North, follow the road round to the right into Northampton Street, then turn right into Magdalene Street - just to the right there is a nice Italian place [crosses fingers it's still there, it was a year ago!]