How often do you speak to and/or your university student

[BigBagOfPasta]

Please also mention gender. Prompted by 'the Facebook page'.

If I haven’t heard anything for a while, I flush her out by sending a pic of the cat

It might be unusual however we are doing what is best for them as opposed to what is best for us if that makes sense.

Dd, second year. We never speak on the phone. Just not phone / voice people. But we text / message on and off most days. If she’s out clubbing a lot sometimes I don’t hear for a day but if it went two days that would be unusual. We’re very close. Most of her messages are about what she’s cooked for dinner or fashion type stuff.

On average, every two days message exchange, probably once a week an actual call. This is after some difficult times during sixth form so I am grateful she keeps in contact so much. I didn't keep in contact anything like as much when I was at uni, even if I had had texting etc not sure I would have done.

Brilliant! Just realised I do this too, but had't thought of it like that.

Glad of some of these responses! Male. I what's app him about 3 times a week... Mainly get a 'yeh' type response!! We speak once a week, at my initiation. He won't video chat with me. My husband tells me to leave him be, but I can't. I do refrain from telling him how much I miss him (mostly) and try and keep it breezy and factual. I find the lack of contact very hard, but I'm really trying not to put that on him 😭 Parenting an adult child is very hard

2 dds. I ring dd1 very week. I'm intending to arrange to phone dd2 once a week too.

Both are on the family what's app group and interact there frequently.

I'll get messages from them individually at least once a week - usually asking for money or for me to buy something for them.

I have dd2 on Be Real and see what she's up to every day. (She comes up more frequently)

We have occasional group face time calls

I visit them for their birthdays too. One is coming home for reading week next week.

I barely hear from my eldest son who lives in the same city as me. (He's rubbish at responding to what's apps). I have to lure him over with food.

DD & DS - texts daily, (group texts and individual),FaceTime 3-4 times a week, shared photo app daily.
We also meet for tea 3 times a month.

That's brave. I didn't let my parents set food in my sons' flats.

Dd21 now finished uni but for 3 years she was there we’d text twice a day - good morning and goodnight - but sometimes more if there was any news either way. I was told on here that this was a form of dangerous and sinister control on my part. Also told that there was clearly some emotional manipulation going on as we used to discuss what we’d had for dinner … !!

DS1 , doing an MA, texts me regularly to complain about something. Phones twice a week, Weds, Sunday.

DS2 first year texts Wordle and Yeardle score daily and messages about Bake Off! Phones twice a week.

Both DSs text DH whenever football is on telly.

We like our routines in my family....

Oh I think I saw this on FB yesterday. One woman stood out, expected her son to ring her every day, at least once, and then she went on to say she hopes this continues even when he's married and has kids etc 🙄..... her daughter in law will be on here!!

My DD has finished uni but is still in her uni city working. We don't chat that much on the phone as we aren't really phone people, now and then. Message every other day or so. I spent a weekend with a friend who had a DD the same age, when they were in their first year, she was on the phone several times a day.

I drove home and rang DD, saying I wondered if I'd been a bit offhand and should have contacted her more ... she laughed and said she knows where we are if she needs us and would find that suffocating. So each to their own! Be guided by them is my advice to new uni parents.

Male, first term

zero phone calls

We have WhatsApped most days, several times a day at the star,t, it’s dwindling now to perhaps every other day and I suspect will reduce further as he runs out of first timer ‘what sort of washing powder do I want’ type questions. I don’t mind too much as I know it means he has settled.

I like it when he starts a chat with a question and then and we chat for around 20 mins about what he’s been up to, what’s been fun lately etc. I would like more info but I am unlikely to get it!

I have dd in first year.

rarely speak in the phone but she messages at least once day. Just got off the phone as she was asking some advice on how to deal with someone not pulling their weight on a project. But it’s usually messages. Morning and goodnight and the odd thing in between.

She is only 30 mins away. So came back last weekend for a visit. Is back this weekend for halloween plans with her friends here. Usually it’s every other weekend. It’s like she never left tbh. And when she is here she is far more engaged with us. So I think we see and hear from her more now than when she lived here 😂

Yes. Will pm if that's OK.

DD is in her 2nd year at Uni. We WhatsApp every day and she FaceTimes and/or calls most days and at least every other day.

For context her Dad (my DH of 28 years) passed away suddenly in May and so she is in contact a lot more than in her first year as we all try and carry on:

Male. 6th year. He lives alone but in the same city. We moved here 2 years ago.

We have a family WhatsApp group that he checks almost immediately and he comes to dinner once a week. He’s pretty open about his course and friends.
We swap pet sitting and he contacts us if he needs course books and equipment/ home repairs/the car/holiday home.

From the other side - I'm late 20s, when I went to uni it was a weekly phone call and occasional texts (mostly me asking questions on recipes or washing powder or similar!). It then reduced after maybe 6 months to every couple of weeks phone call. I felt like I wanted to chat more than them but I suspect they were enjoying an empty nest (I'm the youngest!) and trying not to interfere.

The most regularly I've ever been in contact since leaving home was over COVID, living alone and depressed. The less regular periods I've been in contact tends to coincide with my personal life being stable and happy - that doesn't mean I don't want to speak to them, but it's a reason to not worry too much if you're not speaking loads!

I spoke to them more if I was single.

2nd DD, in her 3rd year. What’s app message every few days, could be a week or so. She rings on what’s app if she wants a chat. Used to send older DD pictures of the dog. She would always respond to those. She’s far more private. Will what’s app once in a blue moon, but occasionally uses the family chat.

Son, 1st year
generally a FaceTime call every day or 2, usually initiated by me but he does enjoy it and usually chats for 30 minutes or so. He knows he can always decline and I won’t take offence. I might also get a text or 2 a week if he has a question or sees something interesting (or he’s bored)

He’s not a party animal and although his flatmates are ok he hasn’t clicked with any of them. He’s slowly making friends on his course. He’s always been a homebird.

Text my youngest DD in final year, about 5 days out of 7. Often she texts me first. We're very close.

When my son was at uni, not so much 😂 He has a very different communication style. Both are fine with me!

DS 2nd year: a flurry of whatsapps every few days, not many phone calls. He hasn't been home this term and really miss him but leaving him to it

Dd and ds. It varies. Dd can message me every day for a few days, sometimes leading to ringing and talking, and then I don't hear from her for weeks. Ds occasionally messages but doesn't always respond if I text him. I guess if I hadn't heard from either of them for a couple of weeks I would ask around the family to see if anyone else has.

I don't know how to feel about people saying they hear from their children every day. I mean, it's nice you are that close, but it also feels a bit stifling to me.

DD 20 in her 2nd year. She rings me about 3-4 times a week, usually when she is walking somewhere. I send her text or Facebook messages in between, pictures of the cats etc.

I have a DD and a DS at Uni. We generally operate under the motto 'No news is good news'. If they want to text or chat, we'll be there for them. My dd texts once or twice a week if she has some news or a query, or we'll go for a few weeks without being in contact. My ds contacts us less often but we're happy that he seems to be have a very busy and fun time at Uni. We'll get a chance to catch up when they're home during the holidays.
I too am surprised at some parents texting their children every day. But I guess everyone is different