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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Getting ready to send them off!

325 replies

Maggiethecat · 16/08/2022 12:53

Have been doing lists of things to be done before Dd goes off but must admit there's a bit of burying head in sand going on.

What are you doing to help prepare Dc/yourself ahead of the move (practical/logistics or indeed emotional preparation )

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
familyissues12345 · 04/09/2022 21:40

coldcoldheartt · 04/09/2022 21:29

Has anyone else's DC still not heard from the uni about accommodation? DS applied on results day, he got into his 2nd choice uni so hadn't applied early. I'm panicking a little as surely he should've had a confirmation by now?? (Uni of Northampton)

@coldcoldheartt Has he given the accommodation office a nudge? Seems a bit weird to still be waiting two weeks on?!

My son is waiting (diff Uni) but it's his own fault/choice as he did have accommodation in place but had a change of mind so now waiting for something else

Sadik · 04/09/2022 22:40

DD's been in very brief contact with 2 of her flatmates - she'd hoped that they might want to get to know each other a bit beforehand but neither particularly chatty. She's feeling a bit twitchy about making friends, living in a flat with new people etc.

I'm twitching a little bit about drop off, parking & logistics! I've booked to stay overnight at the nearby travelodge (long journey) & also booked parking there so hopefully it won't be too stressful, but with a van city spaces can be a bit tricky.

Other than that I guess like all of us I'm just hoping dd finds likeminded people & makes friends - and that the course goes well.

stilldumdedumming · 04/09/2022 23:39

@coldcoldheartt I am local. We live in a very studenty area. I haven't heard of shortages. I would chase it. If there's a problem, let me know if I can help in any way.

coldcoldheartt · 04/09/2022 23:55

Thank you 🙏🏼 am going to chase tomorrow.

Sadik · 08/09/2022 07:12

I hope your ds has got somewhere @coldcoldheartt - stressful to not know at this point.

wishiwasacollie · 09/09/2022 18:25

My DD is feeling anxious. Like someone above her new flatmates arent chatty plus she only knows of two so far.
Im trying to keep her positive. Telling her people may be busy or not social media users. She didnt have a great couple of years at school socially
However i have read all the comments and advise on the various threads here. Thank you Mumsnet
Just something else to add to endless bucket of worry

Benjispruce4 · 09/09/2022 18:30

DD refuses to get on those chat forums and would rather wait and meet in person . I tend to agree.DD1 didn’t either.

MidLifeCrisis007 · 09/09/2022 18:38

DD's student loan got deposited in her account today.

She's never felt so rich!

EwwSprouts · 09/09/2022 20:23

DS is another who doesn't want to go on the chat forums. Would rather meet people in person.

Original poster
Maggiethecat · 09/09/2022 20:51

DD is lurking. Says one boy was asking if anyone was in the flat that she's in. She's not responded 😂

OP posts:
Lessofallthisunpleasantness · 10/09/2022 03:21

It's so different now isn't it. When I went... no Ikea, no parents dropping us off, finding out about roomies before you go.

My Mum just gave me one of each of plate, bowl etc from the home set. I took my duvet.... I guess she bought a new one for my room at home. Actually no, they moved house straight away and so that was the end of my room, I stayed in the spare room when i went back at Christmas.

Also my boyfriend drove me up, not my parents!

stilldumdedumming · 10/09/2022 07:15

@Lessofallthisunpleasantness my dd's boyfriend is driving her (and staying for a few days!) I'm secretly glad. I can swan in a few weeks later and treat her a bit.

Clemenc0 · 10/09/2022 09:05

All full-on until October 1st and drop-off. Can't stop!

atiaofthejulii · 10/09/2022 19:26

Dd3 is lurking too! Probably a lot more lurkers than chatters!

She moves in next Friday. It’s only a ten minute drive 😀 DH is moving her in, but I’ve booked my car in for a service so I can legitimately work from home and see her off! She’s done no preparation yet, but her kitchen stuff is still boxed up from when she came home in January, and she is feeling relaxed about it all as it’s not a 4 hour journey if she’s forgotten anything.

Has anyone already gone?

SierraSapphire · 10/09/2022 19:35

DD's friend goes tomorrow, first year health professional course starts on Monday. She only found out this week, she's assumed she moved in at the same time as everyone else from the 17th. It will be a bit weird for her I expect as most of the accommodation will still be empty.

wishiwasacollie · 10/09/2022 20:23

Thanks all. Spent today checking lists. Tomorrow packing. Vaccum bags at ready. DH said " surely that wont take more than an hour....."
Good luck to everyone

t875 · 10/09/2022 21:00

Our DD is going 5 hrs away next Saturday, going to miss her loads! Def dont think we are going to fit everything in boot to take for her!!
Anyone's already there and settled in? How hard was it to leave them ?

Benjispruce4 · 10/09/2022 22:20

When we left DD1 (4hrs away) it was hard for us but made easier because she couldn’t wait and is not that sentimental, always looking forward to the next challenge. DD2 is the complete opposite so we are not looking forward to leaving her. Luckily she will only be an hour or so away.

doyouwanticewiththat · 11/09/2022 10:47

We are off to drop off today ..will let you know how it goes ! Feeling like lots of things still need doing , including she needs to see her GP back home about something !!! Think I'm freaking out about little things...also main worry is that she won't sleep and it will trigger her condition ..jeez! Mum anxiety ...

atiaofthejulii · 11/09/2022 11:50

How hard was it to leave them ?

Have done this a few times.
DD1 - only about 30 miles away, same place I went to uni, uni that dh works for, so we know it very well! She was (is) a very busy person so we were used to her not at home all the time. Easy to say goodbye, as we knew she could come home easily, and I could picture her there and knew what she’d be doing.
DD2 - went 300 miles away, to a city I didn’t know at all and basically saw for the first time when we dropped her off. (Dh had been to the open day with her.) She was also much more of a homebody. I found that tough - a couple of months later I went up for a long weekend and after that felt much better about it as I could imagine what she was doing, and could see how much she loved the city. (I love it too now.)
DS - somewhere in between. I had taken him for the open day and seen how much he had taken to the place, and how excited he was about going. Dh had been to (a different) university in the same city so he was happy to be back! Leaving him was ok, but it took him a while to settle in (just doesn’t like change, had lovely flatmates and liked his course) so that was a worry through his first term. (He did settle in, has now graduated and has a job and is living in his uni city, as I predicted due to the whole not liking change thing!)
DD3 - first go last year - long way away, hadn’t previously visited due to covid - it was very hard and due to a variety of factors she hated it, although she really did try to make the best of it. Great relief all round when she decided to leave, and then dh and I got covid and she had to wait an extra fortnight for us to collect her which was horrible! So I reckon this year will be a lot easier 😊

Benjispruce4 · 11/09/2022 21:12

That’s reality interesting @atiaofthejulii. did your DD3 apply again? Is it this year? Sorry if you’ve already said.

sammyjoanne · 11/09/2022 22:44

DD1 is about to start 3rd year. Joining private halls with a group of 11 strangers (her previous flatmates are on study abroads/placements). Shes very excited to meet new people. Shes at Lancaster uni, about 2 and a half hours drive away.
Moving to her new place on Saturday, but starts in October.

When it came to how hard it was to leave her; it was tough first time around. I worried about her looking after herself, cooking, finding her way in a new city, circuit laundry, budgeting etc. But, I need not have worried. She found her way really well.
We let her do her own unpacking. We brought all the boxes up to her room/kitchen. Only thing we did was help set her laptop and printer as wireless.
Another thing was to not make contact in that first week. I heard it helps students get over homesickness, and she felt it a little bit, but was alright. After that first term we paid a visit, and the saying goodbye got much easier. We facetime twice a week, sometimes once if shes got something on with friends.
Societies are great there and she does badminton, but she found her own group which go to a local pub quiz, and her physics friends she also hangs around with.

DD2 is starting next year, and has been to edge hill uni for a summer residential this August just gone, so she got used to being at a uni and meeting strangers and making friends and she loved it, and cant wait to start next year.

AtiaoftheJulii · 11/09/2022 23:42

Benjispruce4 · 11/09/2022 21:12

That’s reality interesting @atiaofthejulii. did your DD3 apply again? Is it this year? Sorry if you’ve already said.

Yes, she re-applied straightaway when she got home, her old 6th form college were happy to do her references etc. Got 5 offers (she was convinced she wouldn’t get any!), went to 3 open days/offer holder days, and is going to a nearby uni next week. We’re all a bit apprehensive but I think it will be good.

doubleshotcappuccino · 12/09/2022 11:24

To all those lovely posters sharing their DCs drop off please keep posting ! Helps so much to read your experience and advice .. dropping DD on Sunday .. so excited her for her but have a knot in my stomach and get teary very quickly which I'm trying to hide .. I'm also genuinely very sad about the Queen so just try and make it about that.. this is our first away so trying to learn on the job xx

Benjispruce4 · 12/09/2022 14:58

@AtiaoftheJulii Did your DD get a refund of first term and does she still get funding this time? I’m interested in case Dd has a wobble. Was it just that she didn’t like that uni/course or that she wasn’t ready?