Getting ready to send them off!

[Maggiethecat]

Have been doing lists of things to be done before Dd goes off but must admit there's a bit of burying head in sand going on.

What are you doing to help prepare Dc/yourself ahead of the move (practical/logistics or indeed emotional preparation )

She should have had her HPV in year 8 and her Men ACWY and her 'normal' teenage boosters in year 9 / 10 (it changed from year 10 to year 9 here in the 2016 / 17 academic year). This should have been fed back into your DD's main immunisation record, but isn't always - I think it had been for DD but not for DS2, but as we could remember him having the year 9 ones (HPV for boys has been introduced more recently), we weren't too bothered and I'm not sure he ever got round to to requesting evidence from whomever he needed to contact when he found that the details weren't on his GP record.

Have been following this thread, and there's lots of good ideas here. One thing I was going to get was a student cookbook, as my daughter has no idea. Can anyone recommend a good one?

DS2 quite likes this one, but he is reasonably adventurous and likes to try to replicate the kind of things that I cook when I can summon up the energy and enthusiasm...

Foolproof One-Pot: 60 Simple and Satisfying Recipes amzn.eu/d/746cVDM

(I've linked to the amazon offering, as you can scroll through some of the pages, but other suppliers are available). There is also a vegetarian version, but we haven't got that one.

I bought a copy of Levi Roots' Caribbean Food Made Easy at the weekend, which looks to live up to the title - unfortunately, I completely missed the actual TV series. That one is staying at home for the time being, though.

I appreciate that neither of these suggestions will be terribly helpful, if all she really likes is omelette... For really simple recipes, some of the 'weekday / 30 minute suppers' in the supermarket freebie magazines are good and usually genuinely easy to follow.

I am veggie - that veggie foolproof book looks delicious! But that's a derakl! Dd has Sam Stern books (I think he's called) - possibly a bit cheesy mini Jamie Oliver now! She tends to cook off tik tok - most of the recipes are nonsense unless you kind of know how to do it anyway imho!

I've made a Pinterest board for my daughter of easy / favourite recipes - she tends to cook from internet receipes rather than our cookbooks and saves space

Just joining , DD off to London , we have done the ikea trip ( along with a million other parents , was quite hilarious ) now started on a big shop . Think it's going to be so expensive in London, she is bracing herself , though hasn't got an overdraft on bank account ..not sure how she'll manage without . Thanks for thread and good tips . Think DH will take up in car & I will carry extra on train ( not that far away from the big city) .

Really going to miss her ...haven't got to that bit yet ...

I think I’m in denial about how much I’m going to miss DD. I can’t let myself think about it so I don’t blame you @doyouwanticewiththat.

it’s her birthday today (just) so once this is done I think it’s all going to start getting a little bit real. And yes. Like every single birthday from being 5 years old she will be getting pens and paper in the morning as one of her presents 😂 one more thing ticked off the uni preparation list!

@doyouwanticewiththat @EddieHowesBlackandWhiteArmy ditto here .. reality that she's leaving just hit me.. feels so real now and her excitement is contagious and I'm doing a good job of not showing her but also feeling a sadness for the impending goodbyes

@EddieHowesBlackandWhiteArmy good luck with the birthday . DD is moving 3 weeks before term starts and has birthday during that time . Will be weird not spending it with her , as I expect she won't want her boring old parents hanging around 
Was just after some advice about DSA and speaking to tutors etc.
@atiaofthejulii has your DD applied yet ? Mine has disability and has applied but not heard about any sort of assessment and was wondering if this happens once they have joined. We are thinking she should speak to tutor as she has some fairly hefty needs for reasonable adjustments but it's just not clear on the website what to do about that .I'm not clear if that's separate or part of DSA package .

Anyone else in same boat ?

@doyouwanticewiththat I'm not that up on the details but dd applied for DSA & has been in contact with disability support in Manchester. I know she's got a zoom interview with them about support needs soonish (before going up). She also talked to accommodation people to sort out things there.

It is all getting a bit close now what with the minor distraction of a driving test in 3 weeks. Fortunately, DS is off to a local university - about 30 miles away - so we are spared a long drive. The main thing is to ensure he gets settled in and then we will endeavour to stay away until mid-November at the earliest. Fortunately he has an older cousin and new wife living near him at college and they are all fond of each other so he has family at hand if he needs them. Fortunately, accommodation is all sorted out so its just what he needs to take.

I don't know whether this will be of any use to anyone, or perhaps it's already known about, but you can get Aldi gift cards. You can get ones that don't allow them to buy booze.

I know that seems mean but I think DD can spend her own money on booze and at least I'm making sure she's getting fed!

Thanks @Sadik hopefully DSA crosses over to the tutors too, but I have
told Dd to speak to them too. Still feels like a lot to sort out .
@stilldumdedumming excellent idea !

@MarchingFrogs - somehow there’s been a cockup. Central admin have no record of her having had any immunisation in secondary school- seems they had no knowledge of her new school when she moved schools.
Trying to book her in for meningitis and first HPV before she goes. Will ask her to sign up with GP promptly when she gets there.

My DD was home educated for a couple of years and it took nearly a whole year to get HPV and meningitis vaccines. We kept going round in we'll get back to you, nothing happening, then "you need to speak to the school nurse" circles. Seems the system isn't very good where you don't do what's expected. DD has to go and have a hepatitis vaccine before starting uni, but I presume that's because she's doing a healthcare course.

I would like to park these worries somewhere.
While at Uni, DS is insisting he will stay in his room most the time, never talk to flatmates, not make any friends. I'm trying hard to persuade him to look up (Freshers week) the one very obvious Soc he should get into. Will find a job, though.

This summer, DS refused to look for other work & didn't pick up that many shifts at his (long-standing) workplace. He has been bored.

He has a college mate starting same course who he will see a lot of at Uni. But Uni is far away & DS is actually a shy extrovert. He'll be miserable if he doesn't get any friends (!!) He's clingy about spending time with me. I'm pleased I have a teenager who likes my company, but he needs to make friends at Uni.

I swear it's like sending them off at reception all over again (!!)
Long shot but ... I would be comforted if anyone else is dealing with similar "insisting he wants to be billy no mates" offspring. We long joked DS would never leave home, so it's a big deal he chose Uni far away. DS always surprises us.

DD is planning on gaming society and a non-audition music thing. No clubbing. No freshers wristbands.

She said she’ll join flatmates for pre drinks (a can of cider).
So not Billy no mates but uni on her own terms.
she’s taken a gap year. Knows herself. Will continue her online D&D

other DC also heavily involved in gaming Soc at their uni. A 2nd year just contacted them saying he didn’t know they existed. They have arranged meet ups in the local board game cafe during freshers.

Hopefully your DS will find his tribe.

Hi @lljkk actually my dd -
Who is outgoing sociable and makes proper friends easily is saying this. I don't really get it and I think perhaps it is self protection. In her case anyway. I am genuinely worry more that she will be too into the social side and let the academics slip!

Your ds will find his way I would think and what he says now and what he actually does are two separate things. Maybe you need to make peace with the fact that you will worry about him! It's part of the job isn't it?

@HannahDefoesTrenchcoat My DD plans to keep her on line D&D going too. Says clubbing is her idea of hell but would happily go to a pub with her mates for a chat or board game - I'm hoping that she will find her tribe too!
@lljkk is it self protection do you think? My DD is an introvert but sociable with the right group.
You are right - it's like reception class all over again!

@lljkk - sounds like my Dd. Perhaps they can be friends?

But seriously, I have done a lot of cajoling and coaxing but resign myself to the fact that they need to do it their way.

I know what you mean about Reception. I hope that the college DS is going to will be as friendly as it is said to be. He has made several friends over the years at both village comp and latterly at 6th form in a town as well as at the village tennis club. We expect the latter will form part of his leisure and, hopefully, act as a social springboard. The university is not at all far from home, although we hope he won't need to visit during term. Apart from that we are making progress on packing and getting to know each other again after over 18 years of looking out for him.

@doyouwanticewiththat my dd finally did the DSA application this week - however she needs to get the medical evidence form completed. She’s sent it off to her hospital team, but it may take a while I’m guessing. (Last year she had them to fill in something similar (actually longer and more detailed!) for her insurance accommodation application, and it took a couple of weeks because they couldn’t find the stamp that the form needed!) She is also dyslexic but has that report ready to submit. So I don’t know how long it will take. Dd1 is starting a post grad course this year and also applied for DSA and had her study needs assessment interview over the summer.

I think dd3 has already contacted student disability support at her uni - it may be called different things at different universities, but would advise your dd to make contact with them if she hasn’t already, because they can help with practicalities and liaise with her department, independently of any DSA advice. All 3 of my dd’s have previously had various accommodations put in place by their universities’ student disability support services without having DSA in place, this is the first year any of them have applied for DSA.

@lljkk that must be worrying to hear - I think some of it is probably self-protection/bravado, and also they do tend to unburden themselves on us - so those may be his worries about not making friends and once he’s offloaded on you he doesn’t have to think about it for a while!

My dd3 was adamant when she went to 6th form college that she wasn’t going to make any effort to meet people, and she didn’t 😁 She did make one friend who introduced herself in their first class together.

I think some people are very self-contained and don’t necessarily feel a massive need to immediately acquire a group around them. And don’t want to compromise themselves to make superficial friends just for the sake of having that group.

Has anyone else's DC still not heard from the uni about accommodation? DS applied on results day, he got into his 2nd choice uni so hadn't applied early. I'm panicking a little as surely he should've had a confirmation by now?? (Uni of Northampton)