Getting ready to send them off!

[Maggiethecat]

Have been doing lists of things to be done before Dd goes off but must admit there's a bit of burying head in sand going on.

What are you doing to help prepare Dc/yourself ahead of the move (practical/logistics or indeed emotional preparation )

https://www.gov.uk/student-finance-if-you-suspend-or-leave

This is the official info. I think it's quite clear. Of course you also have to think of the accommodation costs and when you are bound to/ notice periods. (I too am expecting wobbles!)

DS all moved in and has freshers this week (Scotland).

he is in private halls as all Uni ones were full. It’s a disparate bunch at the mo - 2 he hasn’t met yet. The three he has met one is at his uni, the other two at different ones.

he had never visited the city or indeed Scotland before moving in (clearing).

he is throwing himself into getting to know people at the SU, pub, and is trying to join sports teams and gym this week. He’s sorting his finances with a spreadsheet and has done a food shop.

so proud of him! He was very ready to go, has been for ages.

One of DD's friends yesterday moved into the same halls she's moving into at the weekend and has sent her a list of things that she might have forgotten, so we've been wandering around B&M (one of my least favourite shops!) feeling a bit bewildered. We also have a few remaining items from our original list that are remaining items because she's not quite sure what to get, so we have a sense of panic and desperation now having felt quite in control of things back in May when we started shopping before I had an operation!

I was a state about mine going but actually so far we've noticed we are having more sex, our house is tidier, our fridge is full of only stuff we want to eat and our phone chargers are ALWAYS where we left them. It's awesome!

I feel the same, a few things left to get but wondering if she really needs them. Do they need a clothes airer? How many coat hangers does she need? 🤔 and I lost the socks I bought her.

we have ten days until move day 😬

@SweetFannyAdamsDog brilliant !!! There is light at the end of the tunnel! Thank you x x

Mine liked a clothes airer as they were too stingy to pay for tumble drying all the time!

And not that many coat hangers as the wardrobe probably won't be very big.

@SweetFannyAdamsDog ha, enjoy!!

@aesopstables sounds like he is making himself at home, hope it carries on and he loves it there.

@SierraSapphire it does get a bit overwhelming sometimes. But there will be shops or online deliveries wherever she is, there's not much that's irreplaceable x

No refund of the first term, so she will have a bit extra on her loan to pay back, and the first term rent was also gone. She did it right at the beginning of the second term - I think she had got her maintenance loan but could return it, so assume the fees worked the same way, and she did get most of the second term rent back, more than I thought it might be.

And yes, SFE will fund an extra year with no hassle.

She really liked her course, but I think the university was just too far away and she wasn't ready for it. I think she's quite young for her age anyway (baby of the family and some health issues) and then covid restrictions had meant less of a chance to spread her wings during 6th form. For the uni, she had to fill in an online form to withdraw, and it asked her to give the main reason for leaving and and subsidiary reasons, and she ticked homesickness as her main reason 😭😭😭

And not that many coat hangers as the wardrobe probably won't be very big.

This was one of our issues today, as there only appears to be three shelves in one side the floor to ceiling wardrobe so a massive amount of wasted space unless you've got some sort of dividers within those shelves to put things (or just jumble everything up with no hope of finding things unless you pull everything out!)

Ah @AtiaoftheJulii thanks for that. Good for her that she’s going to give it another go.We’ve done another Wilko run this evening after work.
Had a chat in the car about what to do if feeling down. Said she’d phone us or bf and if really down she’d go to see him at his uni or come home for a bit. Talked about low days passing etc etc

Well DS fell foul of the "no accommodation for insurance choice students" issue and only got allocated a place yesterday - fortunate really as today was D(efferal) Day as he had literally nowhere to stay.

Fortunately we moved house last week and I had insistently nagged him to be ready prior to that, as he's now due to move in on Friday - I think some arrangements have changed as it's a London uni and the funeral will doubtless have an impact.

Fortunately neither of us are flappers (that's DH's job) but I do feel a certain sense of anxiety, not least because I have to lug my big car into London. Also, if I'm brutally honest, I was secretly thrilled to have him around for another year.

Chanpagne that’s a lot of excitement in your house and quite a shift after getting in a positive place about him going next year 🤯

Well done for being ready and I hope it all goes well on Friday and your DS has a great time.

Opposite here as DD applied with known grades. We are all very excited but I’m a bit more wobbly inside this week. She has adhd and I don’t know whether I’ll have lots of contact like “I’ve lost my keys/overslept/forgot to eat,” or if she’ll be fine or somewhere in between.

it’s been great hearing the disability office and DSA offering her really positive support though so fingers crossed. I guess I don’t know what my role is going to be in the new team set up. School was bloody awful for her, college was much better so hopefully 🤞

Have you organised her tv licence?

Inspired by this thread, we talked about when she is most likely to feel homesick, “When I’m tired and hungry,” she said. Good to preempt it, for her anyway.

I need a list of things we will no doubt have forgotten…

I'm still confused on the TV licence thing. My understanding is that they don't need one if it's not watched live and for iplayer without any power source?

We were told it’s is needed for iPlayer by the Licensing authority.

Dropped mine yesterday. She's about 30 miles away and we will go down at the weekend with the TV and some other bits. She looked so happy when I left her. Her boyfriend (who lives nearby) was coming round to help her organise everything. I had a little weep in the car.

They don’t need a tv license so long as their main residence (home) has one and they only watch when laptop unplugged. If they bring a tv they need their own .

Well ds goes to Manchester on Thursday- he’s looking slightly apprehensive (girlfriend of 4 years going to Bristol) but excited.

no idea how to pack all the stuff in the car - may just put it all in big ikea bags. After moving him in we’re carrying on to Durham for their open day on Friday and then down to York for theirs on Sat (went to York’s last open day but wanted to revisit) and then 4 hours from York back home - it’s going to be full on.

whilst I am thrilled ds is going to Manchester- the course is perfect for him - I wish it wasn’t quite so far away - currently having irrational worries as to whether he’ll make friends and be happy (he is my pfb after all). Also will he ever get up in time to go to a lecture??

If you’re worried about Manchester, don’t bother with Durham ! DD1 went and that last hour from York is a killer! She rarely came home .

Haha I’m not properly worried just my babies flying the best time of thing.

Dd loves York (Sociology and social psychology) but also likes the Durham course. It’s actually good for her to go a long way from home as it will make her independent.(She also likes Birmingham).

but yes Durham is a looooong way from Bucks!

DD1 loved Durham (Anthropology) and DD2’s first choice was York for Sociology but didn’t make the grades (got BBC instead of ABB and was predicted AAA!!
So she’s off to NTU

I remember your dd’s nightmare- NTU is fab - I know quite a few who are there and all having great time (all different sorts of people).

I don’t know if dd is Durhams sort of person - Reading mn all the dc who go there are exceptional - dd is good (all 8’s and 9’s) but isn’t going to get a clean sweep of a stars. Anyway we shall see.

Manchester have a good sociology course but don’t know if she’s keen about being in the same dept as ds (he’s doing politics and philosophy).

DD’s Durham course required AAB. She got AAA in the end after remarks. She loved it despite being a state school girl. There are lots of private school kids there but she found her tribe .