Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread 2022

[DadDadDad]

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

Some of us on this thread go back to I think to late 2019 when our DCs were going through the admission process. A lot's happened since!

Over to you...

All really helpful - thank you so much @ErrolTheDragon

(Sorry, being brief. DH's mother died unexpectedly last night and have just had to tell DS on the phone. He's in complete pieces and is now on his way home - internships don't seem very important right now but I do appreciate the detailed response)

I'm so sorry.
He really doesn't need to worry about internships this year if it's too much.

@Panicmode1 - I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. What a shock for the whole family.

Sorry to read your news @Panicmode1 . Thinking of you

Sorry to hear your news @Panicmode1

I'm so sorry Panicmode.

So very sorry to hear that @Panicmode1 ☹️

@Panicmode1 so sorry for you and your family 💐

Panicmode1 I'm so sorry. I've dropped you a PM.

Really sorry to hear your sad news @Panicmode1 - such a difficult time to go through an unexpected bereavement as a family, when your DS has just started his uni experience. I suppose all you can do at this stage is to take one day at a time.

So sorry @Panicmode1 .

Very sorry @Panicmode1 . So difficult for you all.

@Panicmode1 I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL and your poor, poor DS having to deal with this whilst at uni. It puts everything else firmly in perspective. I hope everyone can support each other at this sad time and that your DS is now back with the family and coping as best he can.

So sorry @Panicmode1. My condolences to you and yours.

Thank you everyone.. the post mortem is on Tuesday, and so hopefully we can move forward once we have some answers. DS seems OK at the moment.

I just thought I'd provide a little update on my DC. They have just had approved a suspension of studies for one year (ie "rustication") at their own request - with hope to return in a year's time to complete final year. The background to this relates to certain neurological / medical issues which they hope to prioritise this year, get the medication etc they need and be able to resume next year.

Colleges introduced a new system for approving rustication over the summer, it appears, tightening procedures apparently to be a bit more rigorous in identifying the genuine cases (and I suspect to have a more transparent process of how decisions are made). This caused a lot of anxiety for DC (as it wasn't just a question of a sympathetic nod through - evidence was required, and a few weeks of back and forth), so they are glad that they've got this decision.

They will be looking to get some part-time employment (ideally in Oxford) to support basic subsistence this year (not in college accommodation, so they can stay where they are). If anyone has any good tips for finding work in Oxford, that would be welcome. I think they'll also explore doing some tutoring (online GCSE / A level).

(In case you are wondering, DC uses conventional sex-based pronouns, I'm just using "they" as non-sex specific to provide some extra anonymity).

Ooh, going to PM you about work in Oxford @BenedictSlumberpatch

@BenedictSlumberpatch - wishing very good luck to your DC in what sounds like a very sensible decision to take a year out and sort out their medical condition. I can't imagine how hard it must be coping with the intensity of terms alongside ongoing medical issues and I hope they can take time to relax a bit, even if planning to work and to keep in touch with their friends in Oxford.

Although you can sort of understand the colleges needing some rigorous procedure to consider rustication, it must be really difficult to manage all that process alongside whatever reason merits the need for time out. I'm glad it therefore seems now to be sorted and it must have been a difficult time for you too, as parent.

@BenedictSlumberpatch - I'm glad to hear that your DC has got the time approved (I'm guessing this is the Oxford version of intermission) to focus on their health before resuming their course.

I messaged DS this weekend and he replied that he was in a committee meeting. Of all the things I would have expected him to try at university, joining a committee is one of the last. OK, maybe before rugby and rowing, but you get the idea. He has volunteered to help with the group that do hands on experiments to engage children with science. I think it's mostly designing experiments and writing risk assessments.
I'm hoping to visit him next weekend, so I can ask more then.

Thanks for the good wishes. It's been a difficult time establishing what conditions they might have and how to proceed - and whether a year out would make it harder to complete their degree. We'll be visiting Oxford as the weekend and hopefully can offer some support.

BenedictSlumberpatch there are heaps and heaps of openings in hospitality right cross Oxford at the moment. A lot of Oxford students who stay on after undergrad, for whatever reason, work in pubs and cafes and restaurants and as a direct result of Brexit there are vacancy notices on windows all over Oxford. It's actually a great antidote to the pressures of academic work, to work in hospitality. DS1 had a job at G&Ds while he was a medical student at Oxford, to tide him over on the financial front, and insisted to me (given all the stuff about how no student can work in term time let alone a medical student) that he really enjoyed it. I do hope that the year out restores your DC's health.

Over the lifetime of my DCs at Oxford I've heard of many, many rustications. They mostly turned out to have been the right decision. One friend of a DC returned after his year out to take the best First the following year and hasn't looked back since.

Benedict very best wishes to you & your DC. Blackwells also seem to have a revolving door for students and new grads. One in one out.

Can I ask what happens to students who can’t get picked up on 3rd December? Ds is at a college which he needs to vacate but I’ve just double booked dh and I on a charity run in Leicester that weekend.
Can we pick him up on the Sunday?
is it easy to just pay for another night?

Tell him to get the train home. Lots of students leave by public transport. DD4 is hopping on the train back to Scotland, it’s not a big deal.