Expected to be guarantor for halls?

[ThisMustBeMyDream]

My son has applied for halls today and paid a deposit. He then tells me he has put my name down as guarantor afterwards! I'm furious with him, but that can be dealt with later.
Right now I am very concerned as I can not be his guarantor. I am not anywhere near in a financial position to find £600 a month if he messes up. I have younger children to consider, so can not be guarantor. I asked the only person I could think of who it wouldn't affect (my dad) and he said an outright no.
So can my son not go to uni without a guarantor? I've been naive here, but I didn't expect this. He is almost 20, and earns good money whilst at college. He has more disposable income than me by miles. I was assuming that they would look at his income (which is currently 15k pa. working 24 hours pw. He will drop to 10k pa plus student loan of 9k so will have a higher over all income next year) but it seems they just do this automatically.
Can anyone advise?

I think people are giving you an unreasonably hard time.

He didn't even bother to ask you and also you cannot afford it.

You can't be guarantee without signing for it anyway. He can't appoint you without consent.

Tell him you can and he'll have to explore alternatives, paying in advance, a guarantee company etc.

I understand your anxious but being furious with him seems so excessive. He’s your son. Being a guarantor to him will feel similar to putting down his next of kin. You can explain to him the legal/financial ramifications but it wouldn’t occur to me not be his guarantor. With all due respect it’s not his fault you aren’t in a good financial position and it sounds like he is really.

I'm pretty sure that at 18/19 I put my mum's name as a guarantor without thinking/asking her. It wouldn't have occurred to me that she'd say no.
You have legitimate reasons for saying no, but the answer isn't to be furious (he's put you down because you're his mum, he knows you've spent years pushing and helping him to this point, it wouldn't occur to him to think of the wider implications of you saying yes or that you'd say no at this final hurdle).
He need to speak to his uni and find out what support advice they can give him as he doesn't have a guarantor. He may need your support to look at alternatives.
Rowing/being mad isn't the answer here, but there will be a way in which you can help him find an alternative which works for both of you.

As others have said, get some money up front from him to cover a term if possible.
You sound very considerate of all your children and I think some comments are a bit harsh. It's a really big deal when you don't have much money to possibly have to find £600 a month. Young people do change their minds and also fail to plan ahead, it's part of growing up.

Explain to your son how worried you are and that you absolutely want him to go but you will need some money up front or else work out together what an alternative might be. You could call the accommodation office at the university and ask their advice.

I went to visit Liverpool uni and signed up to visit halls, I couldn’t get a flat confirmed without a guarantor. I think it is normal. I couldn’t find anyone as they wanted a homeowner.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be cross about this.

If this had any legal standing, OP could find herself responsible for multiple thousands of unpaid rent. Many families cannot afford to take this risk or pay this….and you cannot guarantee it won’t happen - it’s why guarantors are required. An equivalent would be to sign someone else up to a credit card.

This highlights the inequalities in education for children from less well off families. Firstly OP hadn’t heard of this and clearly neither had son. Being savvy about these things comes from family knowledge. And then of course, there’s the issue of having enough income to be guarantor, but mostly actually being able to pay out if the guarantor is called on due to default. Many families just can’t afford it. There was another thread about organisations which help students who don’t have a guarantor….but at a cost.

He was wrong to just sign Op up for this. Not all Halls require a guarantor even if most private houses do. There could well have been other options to look at and at least discuss.

As others say, without OP having actually signed the paperwork, it may well be unenforacable, but that’s not the point really.

I remain shocked at how many think OP is being obstructive and denying her son Uni education. These are the comments of those who have never financially struggled or had to make serious choices, or never had to say ‘no’ to things their children would like. If OP can’t afford to pay out as guarantor, she can’t be one. It’s as simple as that. To say everyone should sign the,selves up for this, is like telling someone to go to a an shark and to ignore the possible consequences.

Op has other dependent children to think about. She needs to ensure her money is available for them all to live.

It’s a classic case of inbuilt inequalities in education which make it harder for those from less well off backgrounds to access.

Loan shark.

Why are you assuming he'll mess up? He sounds like a very responsible young man who you should be proud of. He needed a name for the piece of paper of course he'll put yours down, your his parent, that's part of being a parent.

Have you actually had a grown up discussion with him about it rather than a yelling match about how angry you are with him? I'm sure he's in no doubt about your situation, so don't blame him for your reaction. Poor lad!

@WombatChocolate

Loan shark.

wtf is that about? what a stupid thing to say.

And I remember this kind of thing years ago.

A friend I planned to live with wasn’t from a middle class background. When we looked for houses for the following year, she didn’t have the deposit money or the summer retainer that was required. All her grant had gone on the current rent and living. And her family didn’t give her anything. They had nothing to give.

This was in the days of UCCA and PCAS which emerged to become UCAS. Back then you paid 2 fees to apply - one for each. This friend only applied through one, as her family couldn’t pay the application fee (probably about £30) and she had to save her Saturday job money to get the cash together…and then could only apply to one. She was invited to 3 interviews for prestigious courses, but could only get the train fare together to go to one, so didn’t get offers from the other 2. She constantly came up against barriers of lack of financial support or lack of moral support because of her background.

She was one of the few people I knew who hadn’t had driving lessons. There was no way her family could have afforded that. It want to until she was about 26 and after a couple of years in work that she was able to pay to learn to drive.

She was super clever and got a 1st in the days when they were rare. She got a place on a PhD course with funding, but in the end turned it down because the funding was very minimal, and would have required further support that just wasn’t going to be available to her.

Today, there’s similar stuff going on all the time. Things middle class kids and families take fro granted or assume is the norm and all parents should be supplying, and if they’re not, it’s down to not caring or not being good parents…..it’s often stuff that people just cannot afford.

People forget that it’s not as easy as planning ahead and saving for a few years, if every month you spend more than you earn. It’s not a lack of love or even lack of aspiration often. And yet, people are so judgemental on MN and can’t imganine what it must feel like to worry about money and to not be able to to sign up to a financial commitment without serious thought and serious consequences for everyone else in the family.

@Nelliephant1 You are spot on.

My bad - didn't read your post properly

LOAN SHARK.

I had a typo, but I was saying that people suggesting OP should sign up to be a guarantor, as that’s her duty as a parent, regardless of being able to afford it…is like telling someone to go to a loan shark to get cash to buy an item, without a thought to the consequences.

Of course Op has to consider the impact of the child dropping out snd her being committed to the rest of the year’s rent, when all her money is needed to look after the children still at home. Lots of students do drop out every year, lots of guarantor parents do have to pay up. It’s the Landlord’s method of ensuring they’re not out of pocket, when their often unreliable tenants stop paying for whatever reason.

I'm not surprised OP is taken aback at this. I've never heard of university halls requiring a guarantor. If you do get a form to sign, OP, contact the university and explain your financial position. You can't be the only parent who couldn't pay in the event of your DS defaulting, and you're right to be concerned about it. But you can't become a guarantor on someone else's say-so.

Ignore the shitty posters. OFC YANBU to be hesitant about risking the roof over your family’s heads.

It really works against the widening participation agenda to insist on guarantors, and if he tells them he has nobody who can do it, they should figure out an alternative for him. If not, complain.

Not RTFT but I think guarantors for student accommodation is pretty standard. If he is planning to pay rent from his loan, could you get him to transfer you the amount for the next 4 months from each loan payment he gets, then you pay directly, have the direct debit set up to your account, or set up a separate rent account with these funds in? That way, the risk is lessened if he can't be tempted to spend the money.

@WombatChocolate

And I remember this kind of thing years ago.

A friend I planned to live with wasn’t from a middle class background. When we looked for houses for the following year, she didn’t have the deposit money or the summer retainer that was required. All her grant had gone on the current rent and living. And her family didn’t give her anything. They had nothing to give.

This was in the days of UCCA and PCAS which emerged to become UCAS. Back then you paid 2 fees to apply - one for each. This friend only applied through one, as her family couldn’t pay the application fee (probably about £30) and she had to save her Saturday job money to get the cash together…and then could only apply to one. She was invited to 3 interviews for prestigious courses, but could only get the train fare together to go to one, so didn’t get offers from the other 2. She constantly came up against barriers of lack of financial support or lack of moral support because of her background.

She was one of the few people I knew who hadn’t had driving lessons. There was no way her family could have afforded that. It want to until she was about 26 and after a couple of years in work that she was able to pay to learn to drive.

She was super clever and got a 1st in the days when they were rare. She got a place on a PhD course with funding, but in the end turned it down because the funding was very minimal, and would have required further support that just wasn’t going to be available to her.

Today, there’s similar stuff going on all the time. Things middle class kids and families take fro granted or assume is the norm and all parents should be supplying, and if they’re not, it’s down to not caring or not being good parents…..it’s often stuff that people just cannot afford.

People forget that it’s not as easy as planning ahead and saving for a few years, if every month you spend more than you earn. It’s not a lack of love or even lack of aspiration often. And yet, people are so judgemental on MN and can’t imganine what it must feel like to worry about money and to not be able to to sign up to a financial commitment without serious thought and serious consequences for everyone else in the family.

Well said.

I wonder how some people manage to go through life without ever interacting with anyone outside their own social strata or even noticing that other people face barriers.

Being a parent doesn’t mean an adult child can financially commit you to something worth multiple thousands without your say-so and a discussion.

It isn’t just a name in a piece of paper. It is a liability to pay.

I am a Landlord, and I have had tenants (not students) with guarantors. One of those once had to pay me £9k for rent that their child didn’t pay. Being a guarantor is a legally binding financial commitment. It really isn’t just a name on a bit of paper. It’s fine, if you’ve got £9k and can afford to lose it, but if it means jeopardising the lives of your younger kids at home it’s not okay.

No doubt it was an honest mistake. The DS may not have known what a guarantor was or the financial and legal commitment it brings. Shouting wouldn’t help. However, being seriously unimpressed and expressing it, doesn’t seem wrong to me. And certainly telling him that it’s not just not possible (becaue it’s not) rather than allowing herself to be signed up for something she just can’t afford, is entirely sensible.

Astonishing lack of empathy and awareness of how the other half lives on this thread.

This thread is bizarre. I can't believe such nasty posts. I didn't even know guarantor was a thing and my Ds1 is applying now.

Can he not ask his father? Grandparents? Uncle or aunt? We did have to do this last year for dd for halls to all those doubting it, I told her to ask her dad because I don't earn enough.

@Libertybear80

You are not alone, I wou

I guess it’s hard for people to understand that lots of young adults don’t have a family member who has an income high enough to be a guarantor, or who could financially bear the loss of having to pay out as guarantor.

Access programmes are looking to get more kids from poorer backgrounds to apply to Uni. Some of them are incredibly bright. But can’t you see what a barrier this is. Lots of kids don’t have any family members or know any adults earning over £25k. They kniw their families struggle and would hate to ask them to be guarantor or to put them in financial jeopardy. So when they start to appreciate the costs and the debt and everything else, they either don’t apply, or apply to a limited range of places which will be more achievable. There are huge barriers, never mind the fact if then having to encounter other kids and their parents, who can’t understand why their parents didn’t ‘just’ save up, or pay the rent for a year upfront if they didn’t want to be guarantors, or just sign the paperwork because ‘it’s totally normal and not a big deal’.

Op even finding out about this today…it’s another barrier isn’t it, which makes you feel like you don’t belong in the system.

@Mrstwiddle

Poor boy, I feel really sorry for him for you to have that reaction. If he can’t rely on his own mother for support, then he’s in a pretty rubbish situation.

Absolutely, I feel sorry for him too.

How is he paying for university?

DD has saved for her first year so she has some money behind her, she needs a guarantor as she’s applied to a different country. We have the money but they still need a guarantee.

Where’s the money comming from and can he transfer the funds to you to pay? So you know it’s paid?