Oxford aspirants part 5......the wait is over the results are in!!

[TangoWhiskyAlphaTango]

Thought I would start a new thread as its likely to fill up quick now.

So here we are after many months of applications, assessments and interviews. The wait is finally over for those with DC who have applied to Oxford. Those with Cambridge applicants have another 2 weeks to wait until the 25th Jan (bummer!!)

You have all been a lovely bunch to share this journey with and I wish your dc nothing but the BEST OF LUCK for tomorrow (and the 25th).

I hope it doesn't occur to my DC to ask for feedback. But I suppose they should do if they're considering re-applying.

@Eightytwenty yes, it was rather more pithy feedback than we were expecting. I thought it would be more like 'your interview let you down a bit' or 'we had loads of applicants with A*s in hand' ... not 'you nearly made it' But he asked for it ... He seems ok tonight and focused on his other choices. I'm not deluded and do realise that it might well be ME who is going to have the trouble letting go

@kitnkaboodle I know loads of engineers, and only one went to Cambridge. He is doing no better or worse than those who didn't.

@kitnkaboodle DD got feedback on Thursday. It gave her LNAT score, her interview scores and the number of candidates that applied, interviewed and got offers. It was not helpful at all and gave her nothing to work on! I think she was expecting it to say it was the interview that let you down or something.

Hope everyone's DC are doing OK. Everything crossed for the Cambridge applicants!

Interesting to hear about feedback received from Oxford applicants. I've never seen any myself but from what I've heard people typically seem to receive quite positive /encouraging feedback.

Maybe that's because the applicants who request it tend to be strong candidates for whom it could have gone either way? Or maybe the vast majority of those get an interview could have received an offer. I know throughout DD's application they repeatedly said they would only interview applicants they genuinely thought capable of getting an offer.

Sorry it doesn't help with closure @kitnkaboodle but I wouldn't be tempted to support a 3rd go. There are other universities and as others have said postgrad could be an option.

I will not be encouraging DD to get feedback from C and she has already said she will not request it. Unless reapplying what good does it do really? Maybe curiosity but then ultimately it does not change the outcome, best to draw a line and move on. Our DC are some of the brightest in the country and which ever Uni they end up at that will carry them far.

DD boyfriend went to Manchester last year to do Economics (I have never seen a student graft so hard) he is thriving there and its been lovely for DD as she has been able to visit him in halls and get a feel for what Uni life will feel like. Just want to draw a line under C now so she can focus on where she will be going and get her head around it all. Roll on Tuesday.

I have no control over ds's academic decisions so I hope nobody mentions feedback to him! I'm of the 'if they don't love you, walk away immediately' school though I acknowledge this isn't always a great principle. I think it shows great strength of character to ask for feedback.

Even in these tense days of waiting and mocks I can see how much applying to C has been beneficial for Dd. She's also not going to ask for feedback if it's a no.. just keep moving forward on the path of wherever said yes armed with all that she has learned, not only about the subject but about herself; learning how to deal with stress, not knowing .. and possibly with rejection is all so important for her. I wouldn't want to cloud this time with her having to revisit and pick apart an unsuccessful outcome, but take the positives from it, of which there are already so many and move forward.

I think the feedback has become a bit blander of late: I suppose more people ask and there’s a standard reply.

Ds’s feedback a few years back was that he’d done very well at HAT test but he’d not given much in his interviews, despite being interviewed at three colleges. Ds knew he’d been very shy and “boring”, and this is what had caused him to lose out.

I think having two gos is fine - why not. But three? Nooooo !! Last year on TSR there was someone having a fifth go - they were applying for a niche subject, simply with the object of getting in. And there was a third timer who went absolutely nuts when she didn’t succeed.

When ds reapplied I made sure I went on and on and on about his second choice (such that ds was actually a bit disappointed not to be going there!) and that I drummed into him that second time a rounder odds were a bit better, but not greatly better. For recent applicants there’s also the problem of the assessed grades, so there are more post-A Level applicants with a full house of A*s, which used to be rarer.

Another no here to requesting feedback if unsuccessful. It’s time to move on to the next stage of shortlisting where she can see herself thriving without the negativity of a rejection dragging on beyond what is reasonable.

Very best of wishes to all C applicants this Tuesday!

Congratulations to all those DCs that achieved a place at Oxford and good luck to those waiting on Cambridge.

My DS applied to study Physics and sadly got rejected before interview which was a bit of a shock. He requested feedback for his PAT score and was even more disappointed to find that he had missed the automatic “cut off” by 1 percent (although was still 20 percent above the average score). 260 applicants achieved this score and a further 38 were interviewed who had narrowly missed the score but were classified “contextual”….. and then a further 202 who did not meet the cut off were interviewed as their applications showed “other signs of excellence or mitigating circumstances”. I thought DS’ application was flawless - Twelve 9s at GCSE, 4 A stars predicted at A Level (which he has just achieved in his mocks) and an excellent personal statement so I have no idea what “other signs of excellence” are supposed to be. He just feels wretched about it all and wishes he had not asked. It think it would have been easier if he had just bombed the PAT.

Yes, that wretched chap on TSR who got in on his 5th attempt!! I don't think he's done other rejects any favours! But to be fair a) he seems like a nice chap b) I think he worked all the time he was applying and c) I think he switched from PPE to Theology, which isn't all that niche (and I think he had a genuine interest in it)

Sorry to hear that @Billybuntingpants From what I can gather, the PAT counts for a great deal for engineering and physics applications- more so for physics. I think they possibly give more weight to that than to A level predictions. If your DS did feel like having a second go, he would be able to spend Aug-November concentrating on PAT preparation, which i think helped my DS improve a lot this year. Just a thought- he might be better moving on ..

Yes my DS wont be applying for feedback. He was really pleased that he reached the interview stage. He will be happy enough with that, if his journey ends on Tuesday. Time to move on and plan other paths, which will be just as exciting and rewarding. Good luck to everyone on Tuesday and I hope that everyone receives a decision that results in a university journey that they enjoy and thrive in.

Agree, DS is very much Cambridge is one of the five choices on my UCAS form and will move on to the other offers, one of which may well be much better for him anyway. I don't think it would occur to him to seek feedback.

A boy I know got feedback and it seemed really positive, to the extent that he read as an invitation to apply again. So he did, to the same college. With the same result. Which seems like madness.

I think if a student is keen on having a year off then there's no harm in applying again. However, to have a year off solely to apply again seems to be giving far too much weight to it. There are other great universities and experiences to be had.

DS was super laid back about it but his four friends who applied to Oxford all got in and his friend who's applied to Cambridge is pretty much a slam dunk, in so far as you can be (he got pretty much full marks on the ELAT). So that's a bit unnerving for him.

For me I just want the decision to be made and to be able for him to get excited about the next chapter, wherever it may be.

Just a cautionary tale for those thinking of applying for feedback. A friend’s DD’s feedback stated that the interviewers had been impressed with her and had thrown her into the pool where unfortunately no one had fished her out. It really threw her into a tailspin for awhile, to know she had been SO close. Luckily she is a happy first year at another Russell Group uni.

While disappointed, DS certainly won’t be applying again. He’s been lucky to have some other great U.K. offers and also has an offer from Harvard which he’s super excited about. I guess the type of kids that apply to Oxbridge tend to be very driven and they aren’t used to failure….all good life lessons in the long run.

Congratulations to him Billybuntingpants

@Billybuntingpants - congratulations on Harvard! You should be really proud of his achievement.

Thanks Honeymonster and Ealingwestmum….it’s pretty exciting!!!

Seriously, all our DCs are going to be embarking on amazing adventures when they go off to university…these are exciting times! I can barely believe that DS is actually old enough - seems like only yesterday I was posting on mumsnet looking for opinions on Gina Ford versus Feeding on Demand….

Anyway….I don’t want to digress from the original purpose of this thread…I’m still crossing my fingers for all those Cambridge hopefuls!! Not long now!

Son is waiting on Cambridge decision on Tuesday. Didn't think the interview went well - in fact the second one didn't go well at all - so up till today was fairly accepting/expecting a rejection. Not an issue as it was always very aspirational/outside choice and the one he expected to 'lose' (not trying to sound arrogant but he applied tactically to all other choices).
However, today he's got super-stressed about it all. I don't think it helps that his brother also got into Cambridge, and for the same course, so he's comparing himself directly to him. I didn't go to Uni so there's no family pressure and whatever he does I'll be super-proud of him.
I've suggested he waits till he gets home from school so I can be there to support him with the result (he has lessons he can't miss in the morning) but he wants to look at it himself - fair enough he is practically an adult.

However, he's said he'll find it difficult if his friends have got in and he hasn't. Whilst he'll be pleased for them it'll be hard if they're high-fiving and getting congrats from teachers left right and centre all day and he's having to repeat 'I got rejected' and worse answer further questions such as 'did you get pooled' if the answer is 'no' it'll kind of rub salt into wounds. Selfishly I'm also thinking his mates/school will know possibly before me - he's quite open and honest - as he can normally can only phone out at lunch/break.
He's likely to get the result 9.30am'ish - based on previous years college have released results - so he'll have the rest of the day to get through. I'm just wondering if I should back-off completely but I really want to be there for him as it has been such a big thing to apply and prepare and attend I feel a little helpless if I can't be on hand to support him and give him a bit of TLC etc.

Just wondering what everyone elses DS/DDs are doing and how you're dealing with it (if at all). Apologies if this has already been asked/discussed earlier.

DD says she's going to read it in school, possibly in loos so if not good news and she cries (which she will if not good news), she won't be in front of everyone. She's pretty tense, and quite a few friends (including boyfriend) have also applied to Cambridge - do a number of them who are in same position.

I'd quite like her to be at home to open the email but she says no way will she be able to wait.

Sorry meant to add - I'm feeling very apprehensive for her. Can't wait til it's over

I don’t think there is any easy way of dealing with rejection Angharad01, they’ve not had lots, if any experience yet to develop their poker game/Oscar losing faces yet. This is mine and DD’s approach - to try and maintain your dignity throughout the day until you can get home and properly process and release the tension. But by all means use the bathroom to go and have a good cry when needed.

But, I can’t imagine it’s easy for teachers, or students who have been accepted either. Any DC with some emotional intelligence will understand the sensitivity either way, so the successful ones will also be moderating their behaviour after the initial email and keeping it together during the day.

I think processing a big outcome will be like processing any bad news. Different stages, and waves for some, whilst others can move on quickly with minimal negative reflection.

DC continues to expect not to get an offer. Says will be a bit disappointed, but is mainly a bit apprehensive at having to tell people. Is at an unoxbridgy school, so getting to interview was already something unusual I think.
DC is taking a gap year, so could in theory re-apply, but it's not worth thinking about that until after results day in the summer. They're already pretty clear about what did and didn't go well in the application process.