Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread

[DadDadDad]

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

I have a DS in his second year at Oxford, studying a small humanity in a tiny college.

Over to you...

MiniJellyBeans Patched up enough to make it back to Oxf. 3 weeks and she will make it back to

The online lectures have made it possible for her to come home & recharge batteries.

@Sunndowne

I think whatever works. Being able to pause lectures my DC found very helpful. My DD regrets going to so many 9am lectures year one. And she is very motivated.

Apologies if I sounded as though I was questioning the motivation of others. I meant that she says she finds it hard to motivate herself to keep up with all online activity, not that this was a problem for others.

Very good to hear about your DD returning patched up Unescorted.

I'm daydreaming about online 9 o'clocks. That would have been the stuff of dreams for me. Instead I had to settle for a much slighter knowledge of Land Law than would have been the case had the lectures been scheduled at a sensible time. Unfortunately, small matter of the internet not having been invented.

Forgive me as I'm having a stressy day due to tosser drivers who refuse to reverse (common round here as goodbye will testify), but @Cornishcornettos and @Lazyboysmum are you the same person?

If not, apologies. I will go & vent my frustration on my lawn.

However, Cornish, I'm not sure if your DC is at O or C. I only know about C. I will be speaking to DD this evening so will ask when she was allocated her personal tutor. I'm pretty sure that it was quite early on. The rationale for having someone in a completely different subject area is that they can support the student, rather than focussing on the work. DD had a lovely relationship with her tutor, to the extent that when a musician was "parentless", he asked if she would mind being his college mother.

Something else to bear in mind is that these are exceptionally able young people. They know how to work hard, but throughout their schooling, I imagine they have been at or close to the top of the class. Now they are surrounded by lots of the same, away from their support networks, having to manage their lives themselves (cooking, laundry, money etc.) and it's overwhelming. There is absolutely no shame in speaking out and asking for some help and there are definitely people in DD's college whose role is to be there and guide.

Yes, I can certainly testify to the tossers Malbec. The sane rule around the lanes is that whoever it's easiest for should do the reversing, regardless of bleeding highway codes. But a certain type of tosser always prefers to shout you shouldn't be in a car etc rather than swallow his pride and reverse. Hope you got where you needed to be without too much delay Malbec. I think our village - the longest in England apparently - is the worst for lane related road rage incidents, with the honking of horns and foul mouthed arguments often denting the tourist boards picture of a peaceful seaside idyll.

Your village certainly is a nightmare goodbye. My incident happened less than a mile from home on a single-track road with passing places that I use almost every day. The 1st passing place is really small and if you have an MPV or van, you're going to get scraped or scratched. It's also on a hill. I had passed the passing place on my way downhill when a stupid idiot headed up the road. She expected me to reverse UPHILL to the too small passing place, rather than her rolling back down the hill to the larger road. Quite often I give up & reverse but today I decided to brazen it out, switched off my engine & asked her politely to reverse. She called me "ignorant" (oh, the irony) but I was saved by another car coming up behind me so I couldn't reverse. Grudgingly she rolled down the hill, sawing from side to side as she struggled to control her oversized car. My dad who was with me thought that I did the right thing and she was trying to cover up the fact that she couldn't reverse, a skill you really need here. The best bit was drawing level with her and pointing out that one of her headlights didn't work.

So sorry for derailing the thread, but that was really cathartic. Now I really do need to cut the grass.

Just to extend the derailment Malbec, on my last day at school, already slightly late for a meeting, an interesting lady also turned off her engine in a palpably ridiculous situation (passing place ten metres behind her), got very cross when I joined in the engine turning off party (I'd have had to reverse downhill round a blind corner and then about fifty yards to pull in), and eventually threatened to shoot me.

It was a good excuse for lateness on that occasion :)

(I was saved by a man who came up behind me).

Evening all! We popped over to Oxford last night to watch DD play in a concert — the first time we’ve managed it. It was magical to be back in the Sheldonian and Oxford was looking extra twinkly with the Christmas market. A huge gang of DD’s friends were there to support her too. A lovely evening.

DS is making good progress and wants to go back to Cambridge on Tuesday. He’s still got a very sore throat and is lacking energy, but I hope he will cope.

Hope everyone’s offspring is surviving the last couple of weeks.

Dear ginpostersyndrome,
No worries at all. I think all our DC learn differently. Actually, online lectures are a new thing at C. Year one, no chance of them. Lectures in person have got to be good. Reality is workload is so high, if it's. Ore efficient to watch online ahead, then it's a good option.

It's nice we all have different feedback from DC on here.

Ugh. Autocorrect
*if more efficient to watch

Does anyone have any intel on the Oxford University ski trip? Apparently it's so large it breaks all the records to I'm sure there are DC on these boards who are going. Sounds like carnage so maybe it's best not to know too much. DS was disappointed not to get a ticket (he was roughly number 4,000 on the waiting list) but a spot opened up, luckily (I think). He is a pretty competent skiier but I'm not sure anyone will be a match for the heady combination of bravado, alcohol and end-of-term depressurisation. Eeek.

DS1 really wanted to go but didn't get a ticket, he was really disappointed. It sounds epic and 19 year old me would have loved it.

Did you know about the 2016 trip?

Don't mean to be a grinch.

Note to self: do not Google 2016 ski trip!

I'm sorry your DS didn't get a place Sandy. I wonder if our DS's have met. From the little snippets you've said about him he sounds quite similar to my own DS

I think they'd get on @SnapSnapDragon ! Scientists with a sense of fun. They do exist.

Rugby is going well this term. He was given kit washing duties after yesterday's game and seems to have coped admirably. V proud.

DD was salty about not being able to afford to go on the ski trip, but by the sound of things I'm glad she isn't going.

DD1 is going on the ski trip, has never skied, and is being very sketchy with details of what's involved....now going to have to sit on my hands to avoid googling what happened in 2016....

I have googled that ski trip, and will just say I can see a tragedy (for one individual) that is not down to a ski trip as such, but maybe risky behaviour or just a medical problem that could have happened in any party-hard student environment. I don't know if that's reassuring or not, but clearly no-one's mentioning the many ski trips before or since, so need to keep that one story in proportion...

Sorry, I realise that could be written more clearly: I'm saying google brings up news stories from 2016 which report a tragedy for one individual...

Yes of course DadDadDad, I only mentioned it in the context of what was being said about the Varsity ski trips.

Understood. I was trying to be a "go-between" for those who are curious about 2016 but didn't want to google it in case it was too alarming. I hope my slightly opaque description will satisfy curiosity and not increase concern.

DS is going on the ski trip, but I think very much not for the skiing. I'm a bit worried about insurance as he unfortunately has a history of expensive ski-related injuries, but am trying not to interfere.

DD very much hoping to go next year. She's a very competent skier and is rapidly becoming a very competent partier it seems...

Just popping in (hello!) briefly as DD not a current student. She graduated this year from C. She did her one and only varsity ski trip in December 2019. She was a third year then. She loved it. She is a competent but not great skier having only done school trips in the past. But she went with a group of good friends who varied in ability. They did party hard but maybe being third years they were a bit more relaxed in each other’s company and had quiet nights too. Given that their whole social life and uni experience was shut down within a few months, she was so so glad that she went. They took the coach out there but several opted for flights back as the coach was grim!! Hope all the DC going have a good safe time.