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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread

994 replies

DadDadDad · 09/11/2021 07:25

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

I have a DS in his second year at Oxford, studying a small humanity in a tiny college.

Over to you...

OP posts:

OhYouBadBadKitten · 11/03/2022 23:14

I think conferences are back. Relieved at not having to clear out this term though.

Ironoaks · 12/03/2022 08:57

DS has to empty his room each vacation, but has a large lockable cupboard in the corridor opposite.

He was very high in the room allocation lottery last year, but chose the same type of room he had in the first year, as it suits his needs.

He is hoping for the same type of room again next year, but he will be very low on the list (as the order is reversed from last year) so hopefully there will be something left that he is happy with.

Ironoaks · 12/03/2022 09:10

DS has developed good organisational skills as a way of coping with his ADHD, and has the room packing process down to a fine art. He is also quite minimalist, so doesn't have a lot of stuff.

When we arrived to collect him at the end of Michaelmas term, he had sorted everything he wouldn't need over the vacation and packed it into the storage cupboard, and he had packed most of what would be coming home. He doesn't bring that much home, but it would be too much for him to carry on the train, especially with hypermobile joints.

Since we dropped him off in January, we have exchanged our car for a campervan. We have mentioned it to him, but I'm not sure he took the information in. I'm interested to see his reaction when we turn up in it to collect him.

Notonetojudge · 12/03/2022 10:21

May I pop in and ask a quick question?

My ds boards at a posh independent (scholarship) and he’s been influenced by his privileged peers into thinking that he won’t get a job this summer as he needs time to ‘relax’ before uni starts .

I’m hoping that when he gets to Oxford, New College specifically, he’ll realise that actually they’re not all independently wealthy and some do actually need to work, even if just through the holidays.

I think he hopes we’re going to fund lovely breaks for him as his current peer group seem to be able to enjoy. We’re not…

beeswain · 12/03/2022 10:24

Picked ds up yesterday afternoon and managed to load the car in a brief dry spell. He is also becoming very good at packing and unpacking -1 box straight to our shed, very little dirty laundry and all tech set up within 1/2 hour of getting home! His college are having conferences this holiday so most are expected to move out - international student in the smarter accommodation also have to vacate and move to the less smart parts of college.

beeswain · 12/03/2022 10:39

@Notonetojudge your ds will meet others from a huge spectrum at Oxford. DS is not at New but has yet to meet anyone at all who is 'independently wealthy' although he does know a couple of international students with Trust funds. He is the opposite end of the spectrum - the summer before uni and the summer of his first year he worked full time in a pub kitchen and he works in term time tutoring to supplement his allowance (we are not wealthy but are comfortable enough that he didn't need to apply for a maintenance loan - mostly possible I hasten to add as we are 'older' parents with one dc both with good jobs and lowish outgoings).

FlyingSquid · 12/03/2022 11:52

DD will be working through much of the summer if possible (she gets twitchy without an income) but probably not through Easter. Working in term time isn’t really advisable.

Some of her friends are seriously well off. Others have found it difficult to get through the expected vac work and revision while earning enough to cope. It’s a wide range!

FlyingSquid · 12/03/2022 11:53

Tutoring is probably the one exception to the ‘not working in term time’!

beeswain · 12/03/2022 14:02

Yes, tutoring is great and can be very flexible. DS does about 3 hrs a week in term time then picks up more in the holidays, which is enough to supplement his allowance and help him feel independent.

Notonetojudge · 12/03/2022 14:16

Mmm yes I’d forgotten they’re in a good position to tutor. He worked last summer in a building site and I think it’s put him off work for life.

HoneyMobster · 12/03/2022 14:24

DS1 (Oxford) has worked in the summer holidays and a bit at Christmas, mainly bar work. Both he and DD (likely fresher at Oxford this year) are planning a couple of lucrative weeks at a local global sporting event this summer and both will pick up bar work as well.

We're from what might be perceived as a 'posh' background and all the children will be working a bit this summer. Not full time slog but definitely enough to give them 'fun money' for next term (balls, ski trips and other frivolous stuff).

NewCollegeMintJulep · 12/03/2022 14:31

Notonetojudge your DS should start saving now for the uni ski trip if he fancies lovely breaks. The New College ball tickets cost around £200 each, but it is only held every 3 years. My DC funds extras like these by working on offer holder days and open days.

There are a few people at New who feature in the Tatler lists of people to know and some have spent obscene amounts of money on their birthday celebrations in London. The remaining 99.9% party in the JCR and each other's rooms, walk to Taylor's for coffee and try to find work in the summer holidays. The freshers stop asking each other which school they went to after a couple of days as most of them wouldn't have a clue if they were posh independents or scuzzy comps from the back end of beyond.

goodbyestranger · 12/03/2022 14:59

Notonetojudge what subject will he be reading?

OhYouBadBadKitten · 12/03/2022 15:00

I can't quite remember what dd did in between school and university. I think she did a little bit of work for me, but it seems ages ago now! We did encourage her to enjoy that time. She had a summer research placement between Year 12 and Year 13 and generally had filled up life with various things ranging from work to voluntary stuff before that.

For her 3 summers between university years shes had a variety of research and internship places, ranging from being in industry to university based. I think she's been very fortunate with those, but also very proactive writing speculatively to people before application cycles started. She managed to save money from each of those summers.

Christmas and Easter breaks have generally been spent on uni work. She gets the minimum loan, but qualified for a small bursary from her college. We topped up her income to the amount of the maximum loan. She does not struggle at all with managing on this as college life is not expensive if you aren't into clubbing and balls. She can afford to pay for her own breaks and travel.

She will have a couple of months gap between her degree ending and what she's doing next. Very sensibly she's planning on doing fun things.

HewasH2O · 12/03/2022 15:47

DD coaches small children at her local club to get some extra cash in the summer. She would struggle to fit in any tutoring on top of her workload & sporting commitments in term time.

Notonetojudge · 12/03/2022 19:12

@goodbyestranger mfl with philosophy

Not sure how much skiing and balls he’ll be doing. He’s not been very social up until sixth form.

goodbyestranger · 12/03/2022 19:39

If he worked on a building site last year then he's already done things differently from his peers at school, in terms of raising his own funds. How long did he work for in terms of weeks and does he have anything saved up from that for travel? If he does, then there's a lot to be said for having some fun in the summer before a high pressure degree at Oxford. MFL and Philosophy isn't a walk in the park.

As for Oxford students 'who feature in the Tatler lists of people to know'..... absurd. Tatler has been absurd for decades though, so no surprises there.

HesMyLobster · 12/03/2022 19:53

@goodbyestranger Congratulations to your DD on finishing Mods. I remember from DD 2 years ago what a lot of work it was.
She finished hers amidst everybody else evacuating early as Covid hit! It feels like a long long time ago now.
DD this week has handed in her last ever Oxford essay - after doing 2/3 per week every week of term for the past 3.5 years, she says she feels like a new person!
Just A LOT of revision now until Greats.
She received her exam timetable this week and it's more condensed than expected but she's happy it only spans 3 weeks instead of the potential 6!

DD has worked every summer and Christmas vac - bar work, retail and teaching at her old dance school. She's used the income for balls, trips and holidays mostly.
She couldn't have realistically squeezed in any kind of job in term time I don't think.

She has an interview this week for her dream summer intern placement so everything crossed for her!

goodbyestranger · 12/03/2022 20:24

Very interested to know what your DD's dream summer intern placement is but you almost certainly won't want to say. All the very very best for it anyhow!

OhYouBadBadKitten · 12/03/2022 20:44

Good luck to her Lobster! I hope she gets it!

Malbecfan · 12/03/2022 21:17

interesting to read about vacation work. DD never managed any in the 2 shorter breaks as she always had uni work and to catch up with sleep. Seeing friends was another bonus. However, she always worked over the summers. She also worked in the local ice cream shop before starting at Cambridge.

Her college has lockable cupboards in each room, so she always left her crockery, cutlery, glasses and cooking utensils in there along with her duvet and gown. She's quite good at using up dried food but would put any spare in there. She hasn't said anything about coming home again but she was with her bf at his parents' house last night as she did a dance demo in London. The bf has landed himself a job once he finishes his PGCE which will be around 45 minutes away by train.

Goodbye, your hotel sounds lovely. You will no doubt be gratified to hear that the weather in this part of Devon is horrible - windy and very wet. There was some respite this morning and we managed a walk by the beach but yesterday was also really wet.

goodbyestranger · 12/03/2022 21:48

Oh yes excellent news about all your rain Malbecfan, thank you :) Please keep me updated (on rainy days only).

pantjog · 13/03/2022 00:27

DD1 home today but only for one night as she has lots of other commitments. Lovely to have her back tinkling on the piano and getting stuck in to hugely competitive card games.

DS has made the decision to intermit. He will start the second year again in October. It’s a big decision but I think the right one and I only hope he can find a way of coping better if and when he goes back. His college tutor has been wonderful so I hope all necessary support will both be forthcoming and be accepted by my dear stubborn boy.

HoneyMobster · 13/03/2022 07:42

@pantjog - that sounds like a good option for him. How is he feeling about it? What are his plans for the rest of the year?

Ironoaks · 13/03/2022 08:44

@pantjog I'm glad he has been able to find a way forward.

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