Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Durham University

999 replies

KingscoteStaff · 18/09/2021 06:46

The continuation thread for those with DC at Durham, or applying to Durham, or alumni, or staff!

September 2021 finds us packing, unpacking, meeting old friends and new, and all with our fingers firmly crossed for a positive year!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
CeliaCanth · 27/09/2021 15:03

@PaulaMoM it’s awful isn’t it? But there are some wise words on their thread.
In any case, I have just had a text from him saying that he is feeling better, he’s got a busy schedule so might not be able to call me tonight, but he would try to find the time for a chat over the next few days! I think I’ve been stood down for the time being which is fine by me…!
This makes me think that it’s worse for us than it is for them! Somehow I feel confident that your boy will be the same. Let’s hope he finds his feet soon.

PaulaMoM · 27/09/2021 15:15

@CeliaCanth thank you, I'm glad your son is feeling better

chopc · 27/09/2021 15:16

@MidLifeCrisis007 although he is a fresher I think your DS is far more independent and worldly than most freshers?

PaulaMoM · 27/09/2021 15:19

@Spamhappytootsie thank you, I've tried to tell him that but it's so hard to hear them upset

Bluebellwoods1 · 27/09/2021 15:35

It must be difficult to hear your child upset , I am waiting for a wobble but so far so good , DD says everyone is very friendly and helpful.

We filled up with Diesel on the A1 , no queue , I need to complete a food shop but couldn’t get in to local supermarket due to queue for petrol .

SpringSparrow · 27/09/2021 15:51

@PaulaMoM I’m sorry to hear that your ds is struggling. I do think a lot of them find the first couple of weeks difficult despite how confident they may look on the outside. Which college is your ds in?

PaulaMoM · 27/09/2021 16:38

[quote SpringSparrow]@PaulaMoM I’m sorry to hear that your ds is struggling. I do think a lot of them find the first couple of weeks difficult despite how confident they may look on the outside. Which college is your ds in?[/quote]
@springsparrow He is not confident at the best of times and is not enjoying the 'activities', I hope he will settle when his course starts. He's in Val Milderts

Parsonage63 · 27/09/2021 16:50

PaulaMoM Before we left my older DC told my DC that Freshers week was the worst. Said that daytime difficult as so little to do...
But all became manageable and better when course started. Hope you ok, it is so difficult when we can't do anything to help.

SpringSparrow · 27/09/2021 16:53

@PaulaMoM ah sorry to hear that. My dd was a fresher last year and to be honest it was a pretty rubbish experience because of Covid and all the restrictions and the having to mix with just your household, and everything being online. It was awful tbh.
What is your son studying? Has he been able to be on any group chats with other people doing the same course? Does he have any hobbies or interests? Is he likely to join any of the societies?
I really feel for you. It’s horrible to worry from a distance.

cmcc22 · 27/09/2021 17:06

@PaulaMoM I also have an unhappy DS. It's so hard not being able to help. He's sharing and has found today with little to do and online introduction lectures being stuck in the room all day with a total stranger a bit over whelming. @Parsonage63 it's good to hear from older DC that this week is the worst. I was trying to tell him it will get better when lectures start and he's out most of the day but I don't think he believes me🥲

PaulaMoM · 27/09/2021 17:08

@Parsonage63

PaulaMoM Before we left my older DC told my DC that Freshers week was the worst. Said that daytime difficult as so little to do... But all became manageable and better when course started. Hope you ok, it is so difficult when we can't do anything to help.
@Parsonage63 I thought the same, he is not a natural socialiser, so this week is hard for him, I just want to scoop him up and bring him home. Bit disappointed that I can't get hold of anyone at the college, have left a voicemail and emailed, I thought they would be more supported
PaulaMoM · 27/09/2021 17:11

[quote SpringSparrow]@PaulaMoM ah sorry to hear that. My dd was a fresher last year and to be honest it was a pretty rubbish experience because of Covid and all the restrictions and the having to mix with just your household, and everything being online. It was awful tbh.
What is your son studying? Has he been able to be on any group chats with other people doing the same course? Does he have any hobbies or interests? Is he likely to join any of the societies?
I really feel for you. It’s horrible to worry from a distance.[/quote]
@SpringSparrow He's doing Geography, he doesn't do social media and doesn't seem to know about any group chats. I'm encouraging him to join some of the societies, he is a big football and Formula One fan so just having someone to watch that with would be so good

SpamhappyTootsie · 27/09/2021 17:17

[quote PaulaMoM]@Spamhappytootsie thank you, I've tried to tell him that but it's so hard to hear them upset[/quote]
That’s just it, isn’t it? We know how they are feeling, we know it gets better, we know not everyone else in the whole university is breezing through it without a care in the world……but they won’t listen Flowers

Gosh, this evening is looming up ahead of me a bit. I think I need to take my own advice and believe the people who have been through it Wink This feeling will pass. I am not a cliched Empty Nester and my DS will be absolutely fine.

SpamhappyTootsie · 27/09/2021 17:44

@PaulaMoM I’ve just remembered DS’s college have a Tea And Toast thing running in an evening, from 9 til late iirc. It’s for anyone who wants to pop in and I think it’s aimed at students who might be feeling a bit lonely, overwhelmed or just want a quiet chat without music, quizzes, dressing up or alcohol. Your DS’s college might be doing similar?

PaulaMoM · 27/09/2021 17:52

@Spamhappytootsie thank you, I've not heard of anything but shall look into it, just disappointed that I can't speak to anyone at the college

Original poster
KingscoteStaff · 27/09/2021 17:53

Hatfield Tea and Toast was hugely popular last year - my DS, who was all for partying on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, was very happy to lie on a beanbag, watch Bad Education and drink hot chocolate on Thursday!

OP posts:
chopc · 27/09/2021 18:18

@PaulaMoM my DS is a huge F1 fan. If you like I can put you/ your son in contact with him at Collingwood

SpringSparrow · 27/09/2021 18:26

@PaulaMoM I have a son who’s the same with social media and who went to a different university and wouldn’t really help himself by getting involved in the things that were available. It’s really difficult.
I think the subject chats are very useful for getting to know people and chatting about the courses. I know last year during the online lectures, my dd would be in a WhatsApp chat at the same time, and they did meet up for an outside coffee. I think there’s a Durham freshers Facebook group and you can be linked up up to the subject WhatsApp groups.
Also the College chapels might be offering low key support, which are to everyone regardless of religious orientation.

SpringSparrow · 27/09/2021 18:27

Aw that’s lovely @chopc!

Bluebellwoods1 · 27/09/2021 18:44

@chopc that is lovely

Vargas · 27/09/2021 18:44

I was thinking that a whole week is a LONG time if you're not terribly sociable. My ds said he had fun clubbing last night, but I've no idea what he's doing in the day. Particularly if the weather is poor. I think I'll relax more once their lessons start!

Dazeddaisy · 27/09/2021 19:05

I think the daytime thing is much harder for sharers. DS shared room is tiny so situation is very awkward as apart from lolling on the bed which is a foot away from roomates, there is nowhere to sit. Two very late nights taking toll. Also the coffee shops, and cute town centre 'shoppes' hold no attraction for boys whereas I can see DD would have been very happy chatting and wandering around the shops, popping to Tescos for sweets and going for Gand T at those river pubs. Is the bar/jcr not open in the day time with comfy sofas /beanbags to sit and watch neflix or sthing or read if does not feel comfortable doing so in the room. Or is there a school friend to visit in another college? Today is a bit of a dead day I think. The rest of week is Freshers Fair and Matriculation etc. I think hill colleges feel might less exhausting. In DS Bailey college they are packed in like sardines. They had a silent disco but how there is room for 300 plus kids I don't know.

Gizmo98765 · 27/09/2021 19:30

Durham is DS’s insurance choice and he wants to put in his UCAS form in the next few days. He is from a state grammar but from the north (and quietly proud of it) and says he could get on with most people. He wants to study either Natural Science or Physics at Durham. He can rank his college and put several choices but I don’t know how much attention will be paid to it.

I would like him to avoid somewhere full of the pretentious public schoolboy caricature types (which I think are Hatfield & St Chads) is that right or any others to add? Which colleges do you think would most suit him having a quick look I was thinking maybe Collingwood, Josephine Butler, St Cuthberts or Van Mildert. Do they sound ok or any others I have missed? Hope those of you with DC’s in Freshers week settle into things and hope you are all ok too. Dreading next year and have been for the last 6 months.

Thanks

PaulaMoM · 27/09/2021 19:42

Thank you, that would be great

PhoebeFriends · 27/09/2021 19:49

I’ll be watching with interest @Gizmo98765 as I dropped off DC at St Chad’s yesterday. We are very northern and unpretentious and DC picked Chads and would only go to Durham if allocated Chads because of its friendly reputation - the friendliest of all colleges! From the limited experience to date we would say it is diverse, welcoming and definitely not prejudiced or judgemental Wink

Swipe left for the next trending thread