Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

How much money to give DD a month at University?

205 replies

tactum · 11/08/2021 23:01

I really do realise this is a very lucky position to be in that we can afford to think about it....

How much money will you give your kid a month at uni? Obv have basic loans in the bag, and we've said we'll make up the shortfall on the accommodation costs, but that basically leaves her with 0 living income. She's hopefully transferring to a job at uni that will earn her £30 per week.

I'm thinking give her £300 per month?? I'm not sure. I really do obviously realise we're fortunate to be able to give her this, and don't want to discourage her from getting job as I think that's important but just wondered what the general consensus was from people in the position to subsidise. Please don't flame me for being able to.....

OP posts:
IsItWorthTheHassle · 13/08/2021 14:16

Why naive @ brittlehead?
So you really think that if students have money they will automatically spend it in class A drugs?
Or that having no money from mum and dad means they will never use those drugs? Confused

I mean it’s a bit like going out as teenagers with alcohol. Some will get drunk no matter what, end up sick etc… others don’t.

ShanghaiDiva · 13/08/2021 14:46

Ds did not work during term time, but had two summer internships which paid well and were relevant to his degree. The recruitment process he went through was exactly the same as for the graduate programme so I would definitely recommend this as you are then well prepared for graduate recruitment in final year of studies.

ShitPoetryClub · 13/08/2021 14:51

DD had £300 per month 6 years ago.
I'd think closer to £400 per month now.

brittleheadgirl · 13/08/2021 14:52

@IsItWorthTheHassle

Why naive @ brittlehead? So you really think that if students have money they will automatically spend it in class A drugs? Or that having no money from mum and dad means they will never use those drugs? Confused

I mean it’s a bit like going out as teenagers with alcohol. Some will get drunk no matter what, end up sick etc… others don’t.

Of course I don't think all students do drugs, ffs, some people Hmm

My comment merely related to the poster being naive in her confidence that her dd didn't touch drugs.
Parents really don't know what their older dc are up to and in my experience the ones that think they do are the most deluded!!

CatAlice · 13/08/2021 15:12

Parents really don't know what their older dc are up to and in my experience the ones that think they do are the most deluded!!
You are wrong, you may not understand the idea of an open and honest relationship with your DC but it's perfectly common. My DC are long out of uni. They were both happy to tell me what they were up to. Drugs or otherwise.
Neither worked in term time though they had the odd holiday job. Both did stem and got firsts, both now in good careers.
Their working lives will be quite long enough and I was happy to support them.

But if you’ve got lots of cash and would prefer for your child not to have to do that, what’s the issue? The issue on MN is envy. People whose parents gave them nothing seem keen that everyone else should suffer equally.

brittleheadgirl · 13/08/2021 15:21

@CatAlice

Parents really don't know what their older dc are up to and in my experience the ones that think they do are the most deluded!! You are wrong, you may not understand the idea of an open and honest relationship with your DC but it's perfectly common. My DC are long out of uni. They were both happy to tell me what they were up to. Drugs or otherwise. Neither worked in term time though they had the odd holiday job. Both did stem and got firsts, both now in good careers. Their working lives will be quite long enough and I was happy to support them.

But if you’ve got lots of cash and would prefer for your child not to have to do that, what’s the issue? The issue on MN is envy. People whose parents gave them nothing seem keen that everyone else should suffer equally.

Huge assumptions there!

I'm extremely close to my uni aged dd. In fact I'm the one that her house call when somebody is ill from too much drink or has boy trouble - I'm viewed as the approachable, friendly mum. So clearly my relationship with my dc is an extremely open and honest one!

Despite this, I'm not naive. My brother was very close to my parents but they knew so little about what he was really up to!
As I said earlier, they are still super proud of how 'good' he was at uni. He had a coke habit and was definitely far from good!!

DGFB · 13/08/2021 15:46

People are harsh. I had no job which was great as I spent a lot of my time doing extra-curriculars which meant I had loads to talk about in job interviews. If you can afford it give her £300 a month! After food, some socialising and clothes, it’s hardly a huge fortune

DGFB · 13/08/2021 15:47

And I agree that MN is full of people giving their kids nothing and saying everyone else should suffer the same

Howshouldibehave · 13/08/2021 15:49

In fact I'm the one that her house call when somebody is ill from too much drink or has boy trouble

Other people who love in your daughter’s student house who have relationship problems or drink too much, phone you up? Sorry, but I actually think that’s really odd!!

Abraxan · 13/08/2021 15:56

Dd doesn't have a part time job.
In term time she has quite a lot of work plus one term a year she has placements which includes working outside of school hours doing prep in evenings and weekends. We decided as a family we'd rather she didn't find a job.

In holidays she has done some voluntary work in schools, where her holidays haven't matched school holidays.
Next year, when Covid doesn't hinder it so much, she will aim to do more work experience in related fields too such as holiday clubs, nurseries, etc. These will benefit her in the future more than working part time in a local shop will. We can afford to support her to do that.

Howshouldibehave · 13/08/2021 15:57

@Howshouldibehave

In fact I'm the one that her house call when somebody is ill from too much drink or has boy trouble

Other people who love in your daughter’s student house who have relationship problems or drink too much, phone you up? Sorry, but I actually think that’s really odd!!

That should say live, not love!
brittleheadgirl · 13/08/2021 15:59

@Howshouldibehave

In fact I'm the one that her house call when somebody is ill from too much drink or has boy trouble

Other people who love in your daughter’s student house who have relationship problems or drink too much, phone you up? Sorry, but I actually think that’s really odd!!

Is it? I live the closest out of all the parents so have had more contact with them all. My dds closest uni friend has an awful relationship with her own mum, so why is it unusual that a young women would seek advice from me?
Bryonyshcmyony · 13/08/2021 16:01

@Howshouldibehave

In fact I'm the one that her house call when somebody is ill from too much drink or has boy trouble

Other people who love in your daughter’s student house who have relationship problems or drink too much, phone you up? Sorry, but I actually think that’s really odd!!

Yeah that's bizarre
brittleheadgirl · 13/08/2021 16:04

@Bryonyshcmyony
Would you prefer a 19 year old to just suffer? I'm glad she felt able to speak to me!

Notagardener · 13/08/2021 16:31

I don't even know all the names of DC housemates.

TabithaTiger · 13/08/2021 16:34

[quote Peaseblossum22]@54321nought that may be all very well in principal but the reality is that placements are not always accessible by public transport. Not everything is based in a city. Also good luck next time you call an ambulance and the paramedic arrives on foot .[/quote]
This! Try doing a teaching degree and getting to placements in Cornwall without a car!

I have my DS £50 a week, plus he got £20 a week from Grandparents.

PlanDeRaccordement · 13/08/2021 16:51

My DD is in Scotland which is cheap. We pay all tuition, class fees, rent and bills.
We sent £200/mo for food and toiletries, cleaning supplies (self catered)
And £60/mo for transport. Which might have to increase if lectures become frequently in person.

LemonRoses · 13/08/2021 16:52

@IsItWorthTheHassle

Why naive @ brittlehead? So you really think that if students have money they will automatically spend it in class A drugs? Or that having no money from mum and dad means they will never use those drugs? Confused

I mean it’s a bit like going out as teenagers with alcohol. Some will get drunk no matter what, end up sick etc… others don’t.

Absolutely - the one of ours that drank the most by far was the one who didn't go to university from school, but who worked instead.

None of ours have ever taken drugs - and no, not naïve but random drugs testing.

LemonRoses · 13/08/2021 16:53

@Notagardener

I don't even know all the names of DC housemates.
Really? I'd find that quite odd. We even met the parents of many of them.
awkwardusername · 13/08/2021 16:56

My parents paid my accommodation costs in my first year, then paid my rent but I paid bills in second and third year. Obviously this was extremely fortunate for me and I appreciated it greatly but it worked well if it’s something you could afford.

Bryonyshcmyony · 13/08/2021 16:58

I knew two out of 7 of dds housematesast year and don't know any of them this year coming
There's obviously nothing wrong with knowing them though

brittleheadgirl · 13/08/2021 18:51

@LemonRoses
Random drug testing?!!
Ffs just when I think I've read it all on here!!!

AbsolutelyPatsy · 13/08/2021 19:14

my dd, who i stayed with recently, i could smell the weed in the garden of their house share
she admitted she has taken ecstasy.
is that class A?
i did tell her not to take drugs.
we discussed how weed made us feel paranoid

AbsolutelyPatsy · 13/08/2021 19:15

oh and i give dd the bare minimum but do when I can/when i remember
she very rarely asks for money.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 13/08/2021 19:22

I worked 25 hrs a week doing evening shifts at a call centre during a-levels and uni, she will be able to cope with more than 3 hrs work a week.