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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

How much money to give DD a month at University?

205 replies

tactum · 11/08/2021 23:01

I really do realise this is a very lucky position to be in that we can afford to think about it....

How much money will you give your kid a month at uni? Obv have basic loans in the bag, and we've said we'll make up the shortfall on the accommodation costs, but that basically leaves her with 0 living income. She's hopefully transferring to a job at uni that will earn her £30 per week.

I'm thinking give her £300 per month?? I'm not sure. I really do obviously realise we're fortunate to be able to give her this, and don't want to discourage her from getting job as I think that's important but just wondered what the general consensus was from people in the position to subsidise. Please don't flame me for being able to.....

OP posts:
NotMyCat · 12/08/2021 18:39

@brittleheadgirl

Some of these responses are weird/ridiculous. Since when did uni students have cars and disposable incomes Confused
There was one bus a day or so where I was. Agricultural college in the middle of nowhere, I was the first with a car and we used it for lifts to town, shopping, hospital or doctors trips.. came in very useful! Online food deliveries weren't as big then and we used to want to shop at Aldi too
user1487194234 · 12/08/2021 21:16

We give ours £1k a month to cover accommodation and living expenses
In Scotland,we don't want them to have loans or work in term time

user1487194234 · 12/08/2021 21:19

TBF also pay for phones ,contact lenses and start of term big shops

user1487194234 · 12/08/2021 21:42

[quote qualitygirl]@TheMarzipanDildo well how are they supposed to police that? They can't tell you what to do if it means you eat or you don't. They don't own you! [/quote]
It's not about them policing it,it's their recommendation
Why would anyone want to go against that
Surely everyone wants them to do as well academically as they can,that should be the main focus

qualitygirl · 12/08/2021 21:52

@user1487194234 well it didn't hinder my studies whatsoever. Not any of my classmates or friends. As I have said it's completely normal for students to work in Ireland. It's also completely normal for them to travel home (to another county!) every weekend to do so too.

sergeilavrov · 12/08/2021 22:07

I teach undergrads and grad students: it is frustrating to see students who could have such potential but due to financial circumstance work while in college. Combined, it exhausts their ability to pursue research positions and internships that children from well off backgrounds can take up. If you’re financially able to position her well for those, do it, it’s a good investment. Think a decent and very portable laptop, a work bag, suits and a few dresses. Other than that, I agree with previous posters about giving her the cash rather than paying for the items yourself, as it will teach responsibility. Make sure she has enough for a metro card, her phone, insurance for tech and household, train fares home, and maybe £40 a week for a shop (been a while since I lived in the UK, so maybe more now?)

Absolutely key is making sure she has a stash of groceries and things she would need if there is a quarantine. On her own, that is a significant challenge for mental health during a key transition period, and it’s better to be comfortable. Making sure she can do her shop online has become invaluable.

Umbongoumbongo999 · 12/08/2021 22:32

My DS will be on the minimum maintenance loan
We are paying accommodation top up of 1k, and providing £300 a month which he will need to budget, including any travel costs home and mobile phone etc. If he wants more spends than this he will need to get s job

Umbongoumbongo999 · 12/08/2021 22:35

And to @Thyme, I also have a dd age 17 and am comfortable with her getting home at night. Not all pt work is bar/club work. There are plenty of positions in cafes/retail/waitressing
My dd works in a bakery on weekends/holidays
If she ever needed to work super late she would get a taxi. I'm not raising my daughter to be fearful

user1487194234 · 12/08/2021 23:27

[quote qualitygirl]@user1487194234 well it didn't hinder my studies whatsoever. Not any of my classmates or friends. As I have said it's completely normal for students to work in Ireland. It's also completely normal for them to travel home (to another county!) every weekend to do so too. [/quote]
Excellent
Am not saying it's not possible,to be honest that's what it was like for me
But not what I want for my DC

ThatIsQuiteACrane · 13/08/2021 07:00

It's funny, I always assumed students worked (I did) as did most people.

When my friend was sending his kids to university in the past few years I offered to use a contact I had in the university town to try to find them some work in a shop, and he said they wouldn't be working. They'd never had jobs and wouldn't be starting as students. I was really, really surprised as he didn't 'seem the type' whatever that might mean!

It made me wonder about when it is our turn - based on our current finances our children would not have to work if they didn't want to, but it's some way off still. I don't know what we'll do but on balance I'd rather they had a job I think, not for finances but for the experience and graft I guess. Maybe I'll change my mind when it's my little one venturing out...

Lcachu · 13/08/2021 07:05

@ThatIsQuiteACrane

It's funny, I always assumed students worked (I did) as did most people.

When my friend was sending his kids to university in the past few years I offered to use a contact I had in the university town to try to find them some work in a shop, and he said they wouldn't be working. They'd never had jobs and wouldn't be starting as students. I was really, really surprised as he didn't 'seem the type' whatever that might mean!

It made me wonder about when it is our turn - based on our current finances our children would not have to work if they didn't want to, but it's some way off still. I don't know what we'll do but on balance I'd rather they had a job I think, not for finances but for the experience and graft I guess. Maybe I'll change my mind when it's my little one venturing out...

My friends who didn't work whilst at University had their parents pay for their university fees. They were the ones who mostly spent their "pocket money" on class A drugs too.
qualitygirl · 13/08/2021 07:16

I find it quite odd that ppl are so intent on letting them learn how to manage their money but are forgetting that they also need to manage their time! If you work throughout university (which isn't impossible!) you learn to manage your time. You learn when to work, when to study, when to relax. No harm in starting that balance as young as possible. I did a second degree whilst working and I had children. It's all about time management.

As I said I'm in Ireland and I don't know any student who doesn't work! Even nursing students do a couple of shifts at care homes etc

Bryonyshcmyony · 13/08/2021 07:48

My friends who didn't work whilst at University had their parents pay for their university fees. They were the ones who mostly spent their "pocket money" on class A drugs too

I pay dds fees from an inheritance and she doesn't work during term time. She's not on drugs either unless you count beer.

LemonRoses · 13/08/2021 07:53

Some of the views are just a bit silly.
Young people don’t take class A drugs because they’re not working 30 hours in the Co-Op. They take them because they are hedonistic and stupid.
Young people don’t learn to manage time by working in the Co-Op either. That comes regardless and certainly with the structure working life brings.
Young people don’t become better people by waiting a few years before earning.
Nothing wrong with working - if it’s possible- but nothing particularly good about so doing.

Personally, I’d rather they focused on studying hard (we count that as work), working hard on placements, gaining relevant additional experience, staying fit and healthy and enjoying the down time.

AuntieMarys · 13/08/2021 07:53

DS worked 12 hours a week all through uni, plus all through Xmas and summer.

MaidEdithofAragon · 13/08/2021 07:56

We pay the rent shortfall, phone contract and £75 a week for food/travel/anything else. I often buy books too but that is my choice and my pleasure.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 13/08/2021 08:00

they do need to learn some form of independence to take them into adulthood and will absolutely be partying

Bryonyshcmyony · 13/08/2021 08:12

@LemonRoses

Some of the views are just a bit silly. Young people don’t take class A drugs because they’re not working 30 hours in the Co-Op. They take them because they are hedonistic and stupid. Young people don’t learn to manage time by working in the Co-Op either. That comes regardless and certainly with the structure working life brings. Young people don’t become better people by waiting a few years before earning. Nothing wrong with working - if it’s possible- but nothing particularly good about so doing.

Personally, I’d rather they focused on studying hard (we count that as work), working hard on placements, gaining relevant additional experience, staying fit and healthy and enjoying the down time.

I agree. I had to work throughout university as my parents refused to give me a penny. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.
AbsolutelyPatsy · 13/08/2021 08:14

@Bryonyshcmyony your parents may have refused, however other parents may not be able to.
that is the crux.
it is a pointless discussion for me to take part in

Bryonyshcmyony · 13/08/2021 08:19

[quote AbsolutelyPatsy]@Bryonyshcmyony your parents may have refused, however other parents may not be able to.
that is the crux.
it is a pointless discussion for me to take part in[/quote]
If they can't they can't

If they can and feel it's character building not to then that's another issue

LemonRoses · 13/08/2021 08:40

@AbsolutelyPatsy

they do need to learn some form of independence to take them into adulthood and will absolutely be partying
Yes of course they need to learn independence but a few shifts in the Co-Op or Timepiece nightclub isn’t about independence.

Living abroad for a year does that very effectively.
Working after university does that quite well.
Placements in critical care, maternity or trauma does that quite well.
Working in the world’s poorest nations does that quite well.
Living and gaining experience as a lone female in a Middle Eastern country, or China, or Russia does that quite well.

There’s an argument that working in Waitrose through the summer holidays limits your horizons, rather than opening up the world for you.

Some students need to work to supplement loans and parental contributions. Some choose to work. Some choose to live a very frugal lifestyle and not work, some are heavily subsidised. Everyone is different, part of joy of humanity.

I think parents who can offer support but choose not to are pretty mean, rather than doing their children a favour.

atleastitswarm · 13/08/2021 08:48

Yes of course they need to learn independence but a few shifts in the Co-Op or Timepiece nightclub isn’t about independence

This - it’s not the be all and end all. I know lots of people who didn’t work through uni and now have very fast paced, stressful and impressive jobs. This attitude makes me chuckle on Mumsnet. It’s like on threads where people say if you don’t charge your kids board when they get a job they’ll never be able to handle paying bills in the real world and won’t understand the concept of money Confused Of course they will! Grin

Agree with a PP - if you don’t have the means to support your child then of course nobody expects you to and your child will be fine with a job at uni, loads of students work - they’ll make lots of friends through their job etc Smile But if you’ve got lots of cash and would prefer for your child not to have to do that, what’s the issue?

LookToTreblesGoingTreblesGone · 13/08/2021 09:16

DS qualified for the minimum maintenance loan, so that went on rent but didn't cover it. So we paid the balance. I then sent him £100 a month which he managed on quite easily. He didn't have a job, so he learnt quickly how to budget.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 13/08/2021 09:18

@LookToTreblesGoingTreblesGone that would've barely covered food Confused

ThatIsQuiteACrane · 13/08/2021 09:23

I guess opinions will vary and I can see both sides but I do fully expect my teens/student-aged children to work (when olde enough) if they can find it and fit it around studies without impacting them.

Tbh I quite enjoyed my part time work, met loads of people (including my DH) and had lots of fun experiences. And it was a good reminder to me that my studies were to open doors to me so that I could choose a job in the future. I also needed the money but that was only part of it. I didn't work in my final year of law as I didn't feel I could manage to fit it around my studies but I had worked and saved all summer (and had a total blast doing so).

I think it can be character building and instil a good work ethic if I'm being honest. Ok maybe going abroad for a year and working in a poor country etc would have done the same, but that was never an option for me.

We probably will be able to afford to keep our children at university without them working and we will no doubt give it further thought but I am quite pro part time work for that age group.

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