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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Cambridge and Oxford - ongoing chat for those with a student currently studying there

999 replies

DadDadDad · 04/06/2021 18:04

Some of us have found these threads helpful, so I'm starting a new one to take us through

...end-of-year exams (and parties)

...homecoming for the vacation (and hibernation aestivation for this thread?)

...return in the autumn (and more normal college life?)

Posters old and new welcome to join the discussion. Any tips for finding a summer job?

Oh, and for reference, I have a DS just completing his first year in a small humanity in a tiny college.

OP posts:
OhYouBadBadKitten · 08/06/2021 07:52

Where does the tradition of a carnation come into it? What if there is a carnation crop failure?

sandybayley · 08/06/2021 08:37

I don't know @OhYouBadBadKitten - do they have them at Cambridge as well? Off to Google..

Worried1305 · 08/06/2021 09:00

Former Oxford grad here (& something of a lurker on this thread, apologies). I think the idea is that you “bleed” into your carnations because the exams are so hard - that’s why you wear white to your first exam, pink to the middle exams and red to the final exam.

SnapSnapDragon · 08/06/2021 09:19

DS was given a white carnation for yesterday's exam, but doesn't have a pink one for today and apparently it is not the done thing to buy your own. Perhaps he can delicately prick his finger and let a drop of blood spill onto the petals?

SnapSnapDragon · 08/06/2021 09:22

And no, no carnations at Cambridge. No sub fusc for exams either, or trashing. I'm beginning to think we missed out on lots of fun.

It's strange, in my neck of the woods I rarely hear of kids applying to Cambridge, it's all Oxford. In fact DD told me last night that if it weren't for the fact that I've been mentioning it for years she'd have hardly heard of Cambridge. She got a satisfactory reaction from me to that ridiculous assertion.

Flyonawalk · 08/06/2021 10:20

Regarding carnations for exams, in my Oxford days there were two schools of thought. One was (as Worried says) white for the first exam, pink for the middle ones and red for the last. Another was white for all exams up to the penultimate one, pink for that one and red for the last.

I remember furious debates. I do not remember what we decided was the right way to go.

Displacement activity has always been an Oxford tradition…

ofteninaspin · 08/06/2021 10:54

It's customary for friends to give each other a trio of carnations (white, pink and red) at the start of exams. I gather this is quite a recent tradition. The chaplain at DD's college puts carnations in the chapel for students to collect. This year, the chaplain also put a mini bottle of
prosecco and a large bar of Cadbury's Milk Chocolate in everyone's 'pidge. I may have outed DD's college unless this is standard practice at other colleges too!

Flyonawalk · 08/06/2021 14:01

Mid 1990s, we used to share them. I wore a very second-hand white carnation, drooping and with browned petals, after at least three of my friends had worn it to the Examination Schools.

pantjog · 08/06/2021 14:12

My now DH kept me supplied with carnations during my finals. I hadn't heard of the tradition before he did it. I do remember gradually modifying the sub fusc as the exams wore on and on so that by the end I was rocking up in (black) shorts.

I meant to provide carnations for DD when she was sitting Mods at home, but somehow finding the right coloured carnations slipped down the priority list while mopping the fevered brow, and sorting out various other family crises.

As for trashing, in 1994 the Police sent a letter to all colleges telling them that possessing flour or eggs within 8 miles of Carfax was illegal. The supermarkets didn't sell flour or eggs for the duration of finals. No-one got trashed! (As a closet puritan, I approved then, and now Grin)

DadDadDad · 08/06/2021 15:12

in 1994 the Police sent a letter to all colleges telling them that possessing flour or eggs within 8 miles of Carfax was illegal

Did a lot of cake shops get raided as a result? Grin

OP posts:
Hoghgyni · 08/06/2021 15:17

www.oxfordbumpsracing.com/live.php

Summer Bumps/Torpids live stream.

HuaShan · 08/06/2021 16:40

@OhYouBadBadKitten thank you, yes what you say resonates! DS relaxes from doing Maths by learning different Maths or computer programming or chess. He did 'join in' with what his household were doing whilst he was there and went to the gym with 1 friend but I am having to learn to accept that indeed, he inhabits his own universe where he is (mostly) quite happy.

pantjog · 08/06/2021 17:13

I will be tuning in eagerly to the livestream later to watch DD. Such a nostalgia-fest to see them all lined up and ready to go!

And yes, @DadDadDad, the idiocy of the police edict wasn't lost on us.

Malbecfan · 08/06/2021 17:57

I asked DD if she had to wear her gown for exams and she looked at me as if I'd grown 2 more heads. Gowns & carnations are not Cambridge traditions, at least not in the last 4 years. DD wore shorts & a T-shirt to her 1st & 2nd year exams, the last ones done in a proper hall.

@mutterphore, I do feel sorry for your DS1 but I hope you appreciate that his experience is not representative of Cambridge as a whole. He does seem to have ended up at a college where some of the traditions he craves are not really the done thing. My DD's college has formals, but she thinks they are quite expensive, so tends only to go once or twice each term. She gets a free one weekly in the college down the road where she sings in the chapel choir, so she's not exactly missing out. We managed to go to one in her college in February 2020 with her and her bf. It's hard to believe but in 4 weeks she will (hopefully) have graduated and be back home...

hobbema · 08/06/2021 19:04

I think DD (C) wore her gown in her room for at least one of her open book timed exams. Seen by no-one but she said she felt it was playing the game! Shame if you want the bells and whistles and not getting them. Also my Humanities daughter working way “ harder” than the super-brain lovely bf Engineer who can by her account just “do it “; I’m certain it’s more nuanced than that but I don’t think you can generalise STEM hard, Hums easy .She gets 1 hr of contact time a week usually, with the odd extra thing .Has no complaints, she knew what she was signing up for ( “ a library card and weekly ritual humiliation”)

Hoghgyni · 08/06/2021 20:32

Pantjog DD bumped another boat. Very exciting to watch, but it was over so quickly.

Mutterphore are you sure that DT1 isn't using his daily emails to you as a first draft for a novel called My First Year Cultural Hell Hole at Rodney Bennett College? It really doesn't sound like any other Oxbridge College Perhaps it's time he tried to make friends with the girls. He may be surprised at the things they talk about. Most Colleges seem to be pushing their eco credentials, so maybe that's something he could use to meet people.

Hoghgyni · 08/06/2021 20:38

Just out of interest, does anyone know why they have put the boat races slap bang in the middle 9f the exams? Also, do they always have exams in so many subjects after the official end of term each year?

sandybayley · 08/06/2021 20:48

It all seems a bit upside down to me. But maybe what we're observing as Fresher parents is the 'normal' intensity of an Oxbridge term?

mutterphore · 08/06/2021 21:06

Hoghyni, I'm sure DS1 will have some interesting anecdotes to recount one day in the future about his first year but I don't think he'd go so far as to call it a cultural hellhole! LOL.

Yes, he's been just as friendly with the girls - and would love to get to know some better - but has been really surprised that they seem to cluster together in all-female groups, very different to his experience at school where male and female just mixed altogether. He's felt sort of forced into an all-male conclave although he'd far, far rather be in mixed groups and would definitely find the things females talk about more interesting.

When he's had contact with people outside his college, he's noticed that female and male just mix normally, as you'd expect. Of course his experience is subjective and he's aware that maybe just one floor down from him, there may be loads of like-minded students, mixing happily and going off to Formals.

The combination of college accommodation lay-out plus pandemic restrictions has made it incredibly difficult even to meet anyone not in your immediate household or at least in your section of a long corridor and it's unlikely that he'd even recognise anyone other than those in immediate proximity. No one eats together in hall for ordinary meals and of course the college bar is shut. So you don't get the normal informal proximity and familiarity that happens for DS2 in his college. DS2 could have three meals a day in college and usually meets at least 2 or 3 people he knows, to chat with over a meal. Nothing like that for DS1.

DS1's DOS hasn't been in touch the entire term and the person who will become his DOS next term is the one who hasn't marked any of the essays this term, just like their predecessor. I can only assume that being a DOS means you're extra busy and marking student essays is a low priority?

By contrast, DS2's O tutor, who's on sabbatical, has sent lovely good luck cards to tutees and marked DS2's voluntary revision essays, whilst his topic tutor this term has marked every single essay within 24 hours.

Hobbema, DS2 at O is working very very hard indeed at his subject, so I agree that some arts and humanities studies demand a massive amount. He must have read and written at least 3 to 4 times as much as DS1 every week since he started.

DS1 by contrast has had a less rigorous first year, with lots of comments from supervisors along the lines of 'no one has anything to worry about and all are doing fine', akin to 'everyone has won and all must have prizes'. There are sometimes 4 to 5 students per supervision, so not a lot of space for anyone to ask questions and some supervisors apparently talk the whole time and don't really elicit dialogue and interaction.

DS1 has asked how to improve essays but the feedback is that 'it's so subjective and there isn't really something tangible that examiners are looking for'. So it's hard for him to know how he's doing and how to progress.

I hope his cohort is as well prepared as those from other colleges! All the supervisors are very 'nice and encouraging' but it feels different to DS2's experience of tutorials (and my own, 40 years ago) where you were really put through the mill and had to think on your feet but came away knowing you'd learned a lot.

Flyonawalk · 08/06/2021 22:23

@Hoghgyni I would so buy a novel with that title!

Hoghgyni · 09/06/2021 08:47

DH has been indulging himself with the Young Ones University Challenge episode recently. I think it's subliminal. If I start talking about Bambi, tell me to stop.

DadDadDad · 10/06/2021 12:41

Just discovered that the Torpids are livestreaming if that's of interest: oxfordbumpsracing.com/live.php

OP posts:
hobbema · 10/06/2021 14:19

DD has passed first year! Though it would be a stone cold heart that failed anyone this year. Sent funds for a nice formal dinner that will doubtless be using for liquid refreshment.
What’s going on at the other place with petition to withdraw supervision at Oriel?

mutterphore · 10/06/2021 14:40

Hobbema, a massive well done to your DD! I know she worked really hard and it's been such a tough first year for them all. Let's hope she can celebrate now.

DS1 and DS2 still haven't started exams but are nearly there. Good luck to all those currently doing exams and those still studying for them.

Ironoaks · 10/06/2021 15:02

@Hobbema well done to your DD! Good that they have told her so early, and she can relax and enjoy the rest of term now.