Cambridge and Oxford - ongoing chat for those with a student currently studying there

[DadDadDad]

Some of us have found these threads helpful, so I'm starting a new one to take us through

...end-of-year exams (and parties)

...homecoming for the vacation (and hibernation aestivation for this thread?)

...return in the autumn (and more normal college life?)

Posters old and new welcome to join the discussion. Any tips for finding a summer job?

Oh, and for reference, I have a DS just completing his first year in a small humanity in a tiny college.

@pantjog, it’s a horrible situation for your DS and for you. You have my sympathy. I hope exams are over soon and your lad can at least catch up on his sleep.

At least he seems to be in a supportive college. He certainly isn't the only one struggling.

DS has done two exams: Maths 1 was "OK", Materials was "quite tough". Chemistry, Maths 2 and Physics to go. He sounds exhausted.

DS starts his exams on Monday. He seems surprisingly upbeat about them, although there have been wobbles in the past week where he's needed a bit of a morale-boosting chat. Best wishes to all those still in the battle.

@pantjog I feel for your DS. I hope he can get through the next few days and then get some time to decompress.

DS1 has taken 3 exams now. Two ok and less good. To be fair DS1 is not a gusher so that probably means it's fine. One more to go on Monday and then he's done. DS2 is visiting next weekend and DD the weekend after. Both are under 18 but DS1 promises me he'll look after them. I'm taking him at his word...

Until a couple of years ago I worked in Cambridge City centre for 15 years and walked into work along part of the Cam. Miss the underwear clad swimmers down by the Mill Pond at 7am after a long night partying at the May balls! Glad to hear sum of that exuberance is back. DD (O) has exams week 8 and 9 so not over yet but did go punting this week.

I’ve enjoyed hearing all the updates this week! Thoughts with all those DC still going , especially in the heat and mention in dispatches for @pantjog jr ( real grit).
I seem to have the only DC in Cambridge NOT swimming in the Cam ! No idea when she’s coming home. Grim warnings in news re June 21 st make me fear that reverse freshers fun is going to be, like the rest of their year, curtailed. The family holiday to mark the end of their school careers was bumped to this year … unlikely to happen. I’ll be taking grandchildren at this rate.
Thinking back to when they started and several of us had plans to do stuff now our nests were empty… Ha. I’ve been in the rare position of having a few days entirely home alone this week while DH on a boys trip and have to report complete torpor on the home, garden, self improvement front. The self realisation is awful!

I hope your DC enjoy their upcoming visits @SandyBayley, I remember DS staying with fresher DD at her O college when he was 16. He loved it! Sadly, DD’s college are still not allowing visitors. There is now a video clip of the Principal reiterating this on the college Twitter feed.

There's not a hope in hell of DS inviting his 16yo sister to stay, although I'm sure she would have a blast (which may be the reason for the lack of invitation!).

Exams over for him and from the little I can gather he's enjoying himself. I requested at least a photograph and he obliged with a wonderful shot of him being 'trashed' - sensibly wearing an old white shirt and cheap black trousers purchased for the occasion.

hobbema I'm with you on the torpor front, also the no idea when DD will be home front, also on the bumped holiday front (third attempt to go with all DC/ partners to France next week also finally abandoned yesterday).

I've just sent a little good luck parcel to D1 for next weeks prelims - but looking at the tracking receipt, I see that the P.O. have typed 'Cottage' instead of 'College' in the address. I hope it will still get there...

Another recently jettisoned post A-Level family holiday bumped from last year here too. It is difficult to imagine it ever taking place now.
Hope the good luck package arrives @JulesJules. 🤞
DS has sent photos of his (C) college’s gardens. They are open to visitors again so I am looking forward to finally having a look around when I collect him end June/early July.
DD managed to get herself stuck on a locked double-decker Oxford bus this week - a story which she doesn’t (yet) find as funny as we do.

DS3 managed to get on the wrong Scottish ferry after over celebrating on a results day a few years ago, and we could see him sailing off into the far far distance. It took him twenty four hours before the ferry returned him to the correct Scottish island. I think he had a sufficiently large headache not to find it funny either. She'll come round ofteninaspin :)

I have re-booked France for August 2022, ever the optimist.

PO Tracking reports my little parcel has been delivered to D1's 'cottage', whew.

Best of luck to all those still with exams to take before hopefully some sort of summer holidays.

PO Tracking reports my little parcel has been delivered to D1's 'cottage', whew.

Don't laugh. I might have mentioned that my DS's college is small. When an Amazon driver just past 5pm tried to deliver a package I'd ordered for him, he couldn't get a response when he rang the bell several times. (The driver phoned me - DS wasn't close enough to intercept and they had to try again the following day).

@ofteninaspin, your DS's college gardens are indeed lovely and well worth a walk, especially in the summer. They are nice in January too, just bloody cold!

Nothing new from me. DD is playing some football for her chapel choir team (not her college but a neighbouring one) and was very happy that they won their 2nd match. She described herself as their version of Kyle Walker, and the choir director was suitably impressed. Maybe she should ditch the PhD and apply to the Etihad instead

Pantjog, good luck to your DS and I'm sure he'll have done better in his exams than he believes. I also think that this year, the colleges will need to make a bit of allowance for the difficult times for all students.

Hobbema, DS1 hasn't swum in the Cam either and is unlikely to do so as he's heard various horror stories about sewage, Weil's disease (from rats) and the occasional corpse or two! However, as a family we all do wild water swimming whenever we can and my genes being those of a hardy northerner mixed with Irish potato famine stock, have served me very well! We used to enjoy swimming all year round in the north sea and in glacial Scottish lochs when I was growing up and I've brought up my sons to do the same. I'm sure those that have braved the Cam will all be fine however.

I hope all those lucky enough to be 'allowed' to visit their progeny have great trips. I wish mine would let me!

DS2 (O) has his first exam on Tuesday and his last one on 23rd June, the day before I'll need to pick him up, as we then go away on holiday (UK based thankfully). So they can't stay on at all, sadly and will miss anything organised for the following week.

DS1 (C) only has one exam (plus essays to submit for assessment) and that's across a 12 hour period next Saturday. I know I keep harping on about it but he STILL hasn't had a single essay marked all term for that exam. I just really find this weird. Why set essays if you're not going to mark them? How can students know how they're doing and how to improve if not given any proper feedback? He's totally fine with this though. It's just me who's bothered.

Sadly, he's still found no one to attend a college Formal with him whilst DS2 has now done 5 Formals at his college. DS2 has also played some inter-college hockey and joined cross-country training along with the rowing he already does. His college bar is provigna useful focal point for socialising too.

DS1's rather more solitary life continues and everyone is now very embroiled with exams. My sociable, musical, sporty son just hasn't had anything like the opportunities that his brother has had at Oxford. They'll both be home soon though.

It feels such a very short time that they've been away during their first university year and I've had virtually no time at all for any of my own plans at all. It'll be great to see them though and speak to them again after their weeks away.

DD1 sat her last exam yesterday, then did the swimming in the Cherwell/getting covered in spray paint thing (in sub fusc). I am dreading the resulting pile of washing....

The exams didn't go well; she admits she was "underprepared" - combination of spending too long on some coursework, being a bit chaotic in her approach to revision, and socialising too much. Don't want to get ahead of myself, but (as one of the few posters on this thread who isn't an Oxbridge graduate!) what happens if she fails one or more exams at this stage? Is she allowed to resit?

@mutterphore, does your DS play tennis? DS is finding it a great way to meet people beyond his college and course and is playing at different colleges. DS loves that you see people carrying tennis bags everywhere - it is a minority sport in our village.

@MiniJellyBeans, another non-Oxbridge graduate here 👋. I can report that DD’s gown has coped well with trashing and dips in the Cherwell although I have always insisted she washes it herself before it comes home!

dd is 3/4 of the way through her exams. Thankfully she's happy enough. It came out in conversation that apparently there's a deliveroo type champagne service in Cambridge. Not that it's her tipple, but it was amusing.

Good to hear everyone's news. We visited DS (O) 2 weeks ago and he seemed fine, but since then have heard very little. I have requested a call this weekend, but so far no response!
I did get to walk around his lovely college gardens - they were allowed to sign in 1 parent to look round them - so DH stayed outside! He didn't mind, but the porter felt bad about it!
DS's exams are all in 9th week, one each day. He has permission to stay until the following Monday, but his college seem more keen to get rid of students than some others!
Hope everyone's DC manage to keep going and also enjoy some sunshine!

Often, yes DS1 does play tennis and has his racket with him but wasn't good enough for any kind of team and no one he knows wants to play tennis. He's played badminton with his household a few times but it's at a public facility and his college doesn't have any tennis courts either. Lucky DS2 can easily play tennis on his college courts. Again, DS1 is by far the better player but no chance to play.

Would DS1 have to be a certain standard to play at different colleges? How would he go about joining any kind of tennis circuit? It may already now be too late in the term and with his essays and exam pending too but maybe in his second year?

Reading between the lines, I think he's become fairly stuck with the people he already knows and as almost all his inter-college societies haven't happened this term because of exams, he's really only come across the same people on his corridor or in his household and has otherwise just done things on his own.

It's also quite hard to go to something new for the first time without anyone else you already know and at this point in the term when it feels like people now already have their friendship groups. If it had been the first few weeks of the first term, then maybe lots of freshers would have been looking out to make friends.

DS2 (O) can walk into his college dining hall for any meal, sit down and is then bound to see someone he knows or who's there regularly. He can also drop into the college bar and again will come across people he vaguely knows and can then chat and establish a stronger connection. His college isn't small but it's very much a cohesive, friendly and small-enough 'unit'.

For DS1, with no one eating in hall (expect now some Formals) and all meals being takeaway to your room and the bar still closed, there's no place in college where you casually come across others. The college lay out doesn't really lend itself to easy connections with anyone other than in close proximity on your corridor.

Thanks for the kind words and lots of luck to all the exam takers.

@MiniJellyBeans assuming she’s taking Prelims (most subjects do) — yes, she can resit even in “normal” years so I’m sure even more so in covid years.

What is this washing of gowns you speak of? Mine (which I proudly handed on to DD) hasn’t been washed in over 30 years! I always assumed it would turn into a black dishcloth if I washed it… so never did. It still looked pretty pukka when I passed it on, honest…

@mutterphore, I will DM you.

Would DS1 have to be a certain standard to play at different colleges? How would he go about joining any kind of tennis circuit?

Definitely not Mutterphore. All he needs to do is sign up for his college tennis club & turn up for mix ins. Both Oxford & Cambridge have inter college Cuppers competitions and college leagues. DD's O college got through to the Cuppers semis, but faced an all male team from another college, which didn't seem to be quite in the spirit of the competition.

College tennis is very social. It looks as though Cambridge Colleges have some great facilities. A quick Google shows St Cats & Christ Church share grass & hard courts, Homerton has brand new tennis courts and other colleges use Hills Road facilities. There was a debate about whether Varsity tennis would be at Oxford or Cambridge this year, but Oxford won the toss.