Durham University

[KingscoteStaff]

A continuation thread for those with DC at Durham, or applying for Durham or alumni or staff! Share your thoughts and questions on colleges, courses, etc.

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Who have I missed??

And yes plenty of people going into law have first undergraduate degrees in subjects other than law. But if you have an early interest in law it strikes me that you should arguably have the intellectual curiosity to want to explore it further, at an academic level, not simply do the short basic facts conversion course.

Lots of DC fall into law at a later stage, because they can't think what else to do and masses of their peers are heading that way. It's like a factory processing line at the high tariff unis.

My dh is a partner in a large well respected regional firm. They recruit entirely from their vac scheme as do most of the large firms. It’s highly competitive .

Having said that we know a number of young people who are working in city and west end firms who have gone the degree/GDL/paralegal route and have got there in the end it just takes a bit longer but actually they are probably have the more interesting jobs, some of the magic Circle firms can be a bit brutal .

Can I just say that as parent of year 12 DC just starting to look that some of you are actually quite scary 😀 DS wouldn’t say boo to a goose, is Durham going to to for him (a trek from here too).

What specifically makes you ask that @FoolsAssassin ?

I have read the thread and am hugely and massively stereotyping but sort of getting a feeling it might have a tendency to attract confident and more on the sporty end of the spectrum? Neither of which are DS.

I wouldn't have thought it does, any more or less than average.

The college system means there are 17 sets of teams plus the uni teams and you don't have to be particularly good to be able to join in, as you would elsewhere that only has uni teams. You can be a fully paid up member of the college's third football team and fit right in, for example, which I think is a really good thing. Plus there's the social aspect which attracts many people, even those tho aren't sporty. Coupled with the fact that Durham is high achieving more some sports, probably gives off the misconception everyone is sporty. I think plenty of people can easily get through three or four years doing zero sport.

With regards to confidence, I've been thinking this through and I think I am mixing confidence with being introverted which isn't the same, so I've deleted what I wrote originally! If someone is lacking confidence and desires more, then I think it's about looking at what situations they feel unconfident in and having coaching from a parent/friend/mentor to understand what they could do differently to feel more confidant. Certainly that's the approach I use at work. In this case I think the college system with college tutors would be really positive for your DC as there is someone not connected to their studies to whom they can turn for advice.

Thank you for taking the time to post that GoTrevs, I really appreciate it. DS will categorically not want to play any sport whatsoever . He finds socialising quite stressful and is very introverted but we are seeing him start to gain confidence and come out of himself slowly at his new college and it’s a huge shame they missed a term and are very limited socially.

He needs somewhere where it’s fine to be a not very confident, introverted, non sport playing geeky kind of guy and to be able to find enough similar so he can carve out a social life. I’m much more worried about him socially than academically, suspect he is on the spectrum. Hope that makes sense . In normal times we would just go and look so timing very unfortunate.

Actually I think the college system works well for someone like your Ds as it means you automatically have a smaller cohort to cope with than the whole university if you see what I mean. We learned this with an older dc who went to a large RG university and was totally overwhelmed without the central reference point that a college would have given her . She found it very difficult to meet people other than her flat who all stayed in their rooms or had come with friends to university and freshers was very overwhelming. Durham college system mixes you up and I think the new college allocation system will be even better for this .

It’s a long time ago now but I arrived at Durham from a tiny rural school where I had been one of the best academically and was super shy . I remember deciding that this was my one chance , I had worked hard to get here and I wasn’t going to hide in my room but the temptation was definitely there !The college system definitely helped as I met people in the lunch queue without really having to try and got involved in coxing ( even the most unsporty can sit in a boat and shout ) , worked in the toasty bar etc but actually mostly I just gradually gained my confidence and in the process also met my dh ( also not massively outgoing) !

If your ds likes the sound of the course and the place he should give it a go , remember there are 15,000 undergrads and only a few parents on here!

That’s really helpful MrsTabithaTwitchet and makes a really good points, thank you. That’s why I posted as felt I was taking from the thread things that aren’t based in reality. Think it’s a reflection that I am more worried about DS than I originally realised. Thanks again.

I agree with @MrsTabithaTwitchit - that’s why my DS likes the college system. He says it’s good being in a smaller group because you can get to know everyone in your college, on all the different courses and meet other years through sports or other clubs (and in the bar )

Dd will hopefully ( grades permitting) be at Durham in September @FoolsAssassin . She hasn’t got a sporty bone in her body ( her thing is music) and yet she announced the other day that there is a beginners rowing club and that she might have a go. I’m still not 100% sure she wasn’t joking tbh ( don’t think she’s ever been in a boat on a river!) but on the other hand she really seems interested in looking at all the clubs and societies on offer.

DS also not sporty and is quiet and reserved and is looking forward to going in Sept. State school applicant, not in the least put off by the perception of it being somewhere only private school applicants fit in.

dd too spam . I have a lot of faith in our young people and think they will be looking forward to making friends with all sorts of new and interesting people from all sorts of backgrounds.

I think the DCs will find their own tribe - I certainly managed to avoid the public school idiots at Durham. They were too busy having dinner parties whilst the rest of us were necking cheap drinks in Castle bar.

@FoolsAssassin, there is a statistic that 75% of Durham Undergraduates take part in some sport. However, this includes Beginners Rowing, The Slow Downhill Running Club, College 3rd Bridge team and the University 4th Croquet team, so actually I’m surprised the percentage isn’t higher.

The joy of a collegiate university is that there are opportunities for extra-curricular activities at a massive range of levels, not to mention gaining the leadership/organisational skills mentioned upthread as being valued by employers.

DS will (probably) play 1 sport for the University 1st team, but will definitely play another for his College 3rd team.

Thanks Kingscote. He won’t go for any of those or similar but I’ve looked at the societies and there are a couple he would do - he saw how well that worked for DD when she started university.

On a quick audit of my friends-from-university, the ones who have lasted are the ones I met through societies rather than my course or college.

Interesting survey @KingscoteStaff all of mine are 100% Trevs and we still have a really strong bond. Zero from my course and I didn't do any uni societies because I didn't have any time left after all of the Trevs stuff I was doing.

Mine are Trevs and Hatfield and a spattering of Castle and Mary’s where they have married people from Trevs or Hatfield😊

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@FoolsAssassin
I think it's the parents in here that are the 'confident' ones! My DS is quite shy and very unsporty but has had a really nice first year so far - even though he's been at home since December. Made good friends in his college flat and has really come out of himself and isn't afraid to try new things. He's also become much more assertive. He expected Durham to be full of loud public school boys (and wanted to be like them and be in their groups) but has found it isn't like that at all and is actually quite glad to discover that there's room for every type of person and you don't need to reinvent yourself to get on in life. A good lesson at age 18, I feel

Another one who has a very quiet, non sporty son and he's studying Theo physics so super nerdy too.. it seems to depend on your college, he didn't specify and was allocated Hild Bede.. turned out to be an absolute blessing as is predominately state school kids and he's managed to find some friends who are very similar to him.
Also did you know there is a college parents / family thing? He has a college "wife" and between them they support their "kids" 2 students year below...that helps them find friends and support for sure..
He will happily tell you that Durham is full of braying toffs and oxbridge rejects but it is possible to avoid them if this is not your thing..just avoid Castle / Hatfield

@Longtimenewsee
DD arrived in Durham with an open mind, but her thing was musical theatre, not so much sport. Within a week she was rowing for the college B team (having never done it before), and adored it. She continued rowing and has stayed in college for much of the Easter break in the hope that rowing will start up again. This week she is back on the water in Durham. It is her happy place (when not prancing across a stage) and has been fabulous for her mental health. Words I never thought I'd hear: "Watching the sunrise from the boat is just magical". Encourage your DD!

Ingles2 the first five people DD met at castle were state school kids......and none of them had applied to Oxbridge (nor did she)....just saying!