Should I let him return to uni?

[mugglewump]

I am so confused about whether I should agree to my son returning to halls, given the current guidance. His uni has said that accommodation fees will be proportionate to time spent in residence, but rather than staying home and saving the money, he is desperate to be back with his new uni friends. He says he can work better there and lockdown in halls will be more fun because he will be with friends. He is also pretty much nocturnal now and his sister is getting up for online lessons at 7:45 each morning and waking him up (adjacent rooms and bathroom). Am I being mean asking him to stay here? Will we be breaking the rules if he goes back? (Still in same area, so does not constitute travel as such). He says most of his friends are returning to halls this weekend.

Please stop with the student-bashing. They are no more partying than the general population fgs.

@ShaunaTheSheep. Judging by my dds experience and her social media feed that is not true. She's been completely honest, one of her housemates fined 300.00 for having 12 people in her room! Police called onto campus to break up parties and this is a top 10 uni.

Ignore the posters sniping about "let him", it's the response you always get on MN, usually from those without uni age DC who generally think that all DC be evicted and no longer form part of the family once they are 18. My DC are no longer students.

Let him go.

Most of the students I know through adult DC went back straight after Christmas anyway. Far better for their well being to be among people their own age. Most students will be in private rentals and won't be getting any refunds. Halls may be different but I would be surprised if unis gave refunds. IMO they encouraged the first years to move to uni towns primarily to get the income from halls and promised FTF teaching and a uni experience that they were never going to be able to deliver.

He's an adult, it's not your place to tell him what he can or can't do

Very similar here, ds says he is going back. Although no labs all his lab stuff is in his room so he needs it to complete lectures. All his friends have also returned from various courses. His mental health will be much better if he goes back I think so I am ok with him returning. Although honestly I could not stop him even if I disagreed.

I am in no way student bashing. I don't hold them responsible. I don't think that anyone who can avoid it (and the vast majority of uni students can) should be travelling from one part of the country to the other. Stay at home means exactly that.

If I drive my DS back without meeting anyone, into a private house where they'll self isolate for 10 days, with a sensible bunch, I don't have any issue if thats what he wants to do.

Thats fine. I assume all of the the people in the house will be bringing in 10 days of food with them and will not be using the local supermarkets.

It's not up to you. Government guidance is that students should not return to University unless

1. Medical/education student or similar
2. international student and have remained in the UK or have already arrived back, or have booked travel which cannot be rescheduled
3. You have stayed in university or college accommodation over the Christmas vacation
4. You require additional support, including if you are having mental health difficulties
5. You do not have access to appropriate study spaces or facilities at home

Some Universities are implementing this guidance more rigorously than others, though they cannot really enforce it if in private accommodation. In that case, like everything else, he has to decide whether to follow the guidance.

Stay at home means exactly that @singsingbluesilver

Except for many students university is home? It's been recognised as such, in many ways, for decades. They can vote in local elections there, they work there, live there for a large proportion of the year, have friends and relationships there, contribute to a local community there, and make a life there. All of which form a picture of 'home' in my opinion.

Having a bedroom in their parents house doesn't make it any more or less 'home' than the bedroom at uni. We have always had the right to move home during lockdown.

titchy

Moving back after Christmas IS specifically allowed. The guidance hasn't changed.

You are wrong. The guidance changed on Wednesday when England went into lockdown.

As well as the info on the official government website which I linked to up the thread, DS's Uni is also advising students to stay at home and not return to Uni until mid-February, with some exceptions.

@singsingbluesilver

Thats fine. I assume all of the the people in the house will be bringing in 10 days of food with them and will not be using the local supermarkets.

they can do delivery. How does any family that has to self-isolate manage?

And they will have access to tests on campus if needed. I don't see them being any increased risk than being where they are currently. And we have literally been holed up since March last year

Details here:

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/950583/Students_returning_to_and_starting_higher_education_in_Spring_Term_2021_FINAL_v3.pdf

But the main quote is "Given the rising infection rates, the return/arrival of all other students should be paused until at least mid-February. Providers should not offer in-person teaching before then, or later if further guidance to this effect is issued, and should encourage students to remain at their vacation accommodation until the resumption of their in-person teaching, wherever possible"

So no, despite what everyone seems to be saying, if they were with parents for vacation then they should really stay there. Except for reasons above.

1. You require additional support, including if you are having mental health difficulties
2. You do not have access to appropriate study spaces or facilities at home

Stay at home 'where possible' is plenty of capacity for many students to return legally to their university town

What’s missing op? Why would an adult need your permission?

My DD travelled back to her Uni yesterday, her uni issued advice that they can return when they like and are encouraged to be back on campus. As all other unis she has a neg test and will continue to be tested monthly as routine

There are reasonable exceptions - but the default position is that students should stay at home.

To say otherwise, as some PPs have, is to post misleading information.

I can completely understand why many students want to return to Uni and why many of their parents want them to.

What I can't understand is people who wilfully misinterpret the guidance, or even worse, can't be bothered to find out what it is. No wonder Covid rates are escalating.

@irregularegular the use of the phrase “wherever possible” means this is guidance not prohibition. As PP have said there are several reasons why the authorities recognise that it may be better for students to return to their term tine addresses. The vast majority of students live in private accommodation in small groups. Where the group agrees to form their own household, isolate together and recognise they must stay put till Easter there is no additional risk to them or to others especially if they can arrive other than by public transport.

What Uni is that HobbitMum ?

www.theguardian.com/education/2021/jan/06/calls-grow-students-rent-rebates-universities-england-coronavirus?CMP=share_btn_tw

@VanCleefArpels You are missing the list of very specific exceptions.

None of them apply to my DS. However, they may well apply to yours. I guess anyone could choose to claim that staying at home is causing them mental health difficulties.

Better for mental health to be with friends and eke out some semblance of a student experience. And better for WFH parents and older sibling already competing for sketchy internet connection all day!

Just to be clear, I never said returning was illegal or entirely prohibited. I recognized there were exceptions. I also personally believe that students returning to their Uni accommodation is often very low risk as they will not be mixing with anyone outside their Uni household and will take tests, and may indeed be very good for their wellbeing. I just pointed out what the actual explicit guidance is, rather than making it up or ignoring its existence like some posters! And that Unis will also have a say if the accommodation is not private.

It's 5. You do not have access to appropriate study spaces or facilities at home that's the sticking point for us. We have room for three of us to work full-time at home. We don't have room for five. While everyone is home, someone is stuck with a corner of the kitchen, which is a complete thoroughfare.

I can see why DS wants to go back to his four-person, four-bedroom student house and do his exams in peace. It's a private rental, so we're paying for it whether he's there or not, and most of his belongings are still there.

DS2 went back on Tuesday in a flatmate's car.