Oxford and Cambridge current students discussion thread

[sandybayley]

Starting a new one as we filled it up!

Can't believe DS1 will be home in 2 weeks. Must remember to adjust the Ocado shop for when he's back. I suspect we may end up with a few days of his favourite meals 😊

Ha! no I didn't ask but he was a little hard to miss in the kitchen.

Unescorted you may have some lying snow to travel through in the Peak District. Just possibly in the Cotswolds too. It's all very knife edge and subsequent rain may wash any away.

Cheers... I might route them around the M6 long.way if it looks grim / Derbyshire have forgotten they have gritters.

Hobbema, is your DD studying English or History? if English, then I'm even more worried about DS1.

DS2 (History, O) was given particular essays by his tutor all term that corresponded very well with typical essay exam questions. DS1 had a "pick your own title and only do if you want to" approach, has probably been given about one fifth of the amount of work as DS2 and it sounds as if not even the college knows what will be taught and by whom next term.

There was no question of anyone being given feedback about this term's work - maybe because the DOS hasn't marked most of their essays yet anyway and his pastoral tutor hasn't been in touch all term either.

I guess there's really nothing he can do about any of this except teach himself but without proper feedback about how to progress, this is tricky. Does anyone 'in the know' have any idea what students can do about not having essays marked or supervision not revolving around essays - or do they just have to accept it and self-teach?

Good to hear that others have had some great experiences socially and academically this term, as has DS2 also. Hope it's OK to offload on here about my concerns about DS1's college. I have to bear in mind that this is just his experience and that he doesn't seem at all worried himself but then he's less 'driven' than DS2 and has always had a very relaxed attitude to life. maybe in the long run, that'll matter most.

Mutter; it’s History. She’s gone for very early papers which is why she seems to be having bespoke attention. Next term is 1:1 also I think. Most of her pals in college are into modern history and only doing the pre 1750 minimum that they have to. She is having a dream start given the circumstances but is definitely ready for a change of scene; it all gets very intense. I hope someone with some English expertise can come on here and reassure you.
Also can’t keep off the 2021 thread; though am definitely not broody, that did make me laugh. Is there a German word for wishing you could do it all again while knowing it would all be fine?

DD's first test negative. Fingers crossed for Friday. Pictures of Christmas baking today so week 8 not so stressful they couldn't find time for a yule log. It really cheers me up - still doing stuff as a household and making the best of a rubbish term.

I'm also on the 2021 thread, trying to be reassuring, but remember that stress so well.

D1 (Ox history joint) has finished all her essays for the term and had her last class, she may have another meeting with her tutor. Apart from that she's just got to get some reading done for her vac essays and work out which books she needs to bring home. She's had a huge workload this term, due partly to her choice of courses for her two subjects and timetabling clashes. She also chose early periods for history, which she's loved, and was nonplussed when other students said they were glad to be 'getting it out of the way' in first year.

She's looking forward to being home and cooking - having only had access to a microwave. I'm hoping she hasn't got too used to croissants on room service (when she was in iso) and that the 5hr train journey home (with a change) will go smoothly.

I’m picking up DD on Sat and DS on Tues. DD has had an ok term at O. DS has had an awful first term at C. He almost literally does nothing but work. DH (medicine) and I (modern languages) certainly worked hard (at times in my case) but nothing like this... I think his dyslexia makes work hugely harder and he isn’t great at asking for the reasonable accommodations that he is entitled to. However, he’s got some great marks so something is going right. I just wish it were more fun and less remorselessly grim. He literally doesn’t leave his room for days on end.

mutter, your C DS’s experience sounds very strange in every way. It’s good that he’s so stoic/resilient.

DD has Mods next term (I think) so I’m expecting lots of stress as she procrastinates over the vac.

I popped on to the Oxbridge aspirants thread but I’ve had my fill for the moment... plus it will come round soon enough for DD2 who will be applying next year. Current debate is whether she applies for my and DH’s old college or applies for a choral scholarship... decisions, decisions.

DS has his last lectures of term today, and then a meeting with his Director of Studies tomorrow. That term seems to have gone very quickly.

Sorry to hear DS has had a rough term @PantTwizzler. Remind me what subject? DD( History) is working harder than either me or DH ( both medics though I was London ) did for our degree and she’s always been a work smart rather than hard student til now. Without the usual sport/ social/ clubs distractions it’s easy to see how work fills the gap, especially if trying to manage a learning need. They all had a significant gap from March til Sept/Oct too. Let’s enjoy fussing over them a bit ( I anticipate 48 hrs before the kitchen starts titting me off) and hope for a better Lent/ Hilary ( why Hilary, must google) term.

DS1 has been working really hard as well but his course (Chemistry) is notorious as an intensive hours one. The labs have been closed this term (refurbishment due to asbestos) and he's looking forward to labs in person next term.

I do wonder if there's been an element of shock for the freshers after a break in learning and also an element of work expanding to fill the time available? If there had been more distractions wound they have been more efficient in their working?

Hilary term is named for St Hilary of Poitiers, whose feast day falls in this term. I'd already googled this, another one of those random things.

My Ds is 2nd year at C doing an Arts subject. His first term of last year was incredibly hard and I didn't think he would be return after Christmas. I don't think it's unique to this year.
A year on despite COVID he is loving it. Working at a healthier level, has more connections and is very settled. It's a hard transition.

That's good to hear purple, D1 has certainly had mountains of work this term, but I think it's possibly felt more overwhelming as there has been no fun, or social activities to balance it and she's barely left her room for weeks. I'm really hoping next term will be better for all of them.

Have been rather absent from Mumnset but just to say mutter I find your DS’s experience quite different to my DS’s experience. He’s been having weekly essays which are marked and then spoken about in a weekly supervision - and he has been told what level he’s on target for currently. I wonder if it is more of a college related thing because it does seem so unusual - I can understand if you’d rather not say which college but am trying to work out which it could be! I do hope he’s able to have a good break in the holidays and perhaps next term will be different?

We’re really looking forward to seeing DS for Christmas although I think he would’ve liked to have stayed on longer - says he feels he’s hardly been there and it’s time to come home! Not sure yet of holiday workload yet - although a friend of mine who has a DD studying medicine says the holidays are called vacations for a reason - you have to vacate your room but the work is still there.

DD has just shared a “ proper “ matriculation photo of her whole year ; jolly clever photoshopping makes it look just like the real thing.

My Gillman&Soame proper proper beautifully framed and crested matriculation photo of DD4 arrived two days ago so I have to hammer in a peg for it on the landing before Saturday. It's only the second matriculation photo I've ever paid money for. The first was one of DS2 who I had good reason at the time to doubt would ever complete his degree (he was a good time boy :)) so I wanted photographic proof he'd been to Oxford (in the end he stunned the family by getting a first so he's got a nice certificate to prove he went to Oxford and I've got an even better more mature graduation photo).

@mutterphone I hope you don't mind me saying this. I don't have a child at O or C, but I do work in a university.

I know you've explained that your DT1 doesn't like to make a fuss, but it seems to be clear that the experience he's having is very different from that of every other student whose partner has commented. It's also very different from that of your DT2, of course, but that's a different university.

I can't help thinking that if things continue like this for your DS1 all through the year then by the time the exams come round in the summer he'll have had virtually no teaching or direction. He shouldn't have to speak up, but I think the sad reality is that he's going to have to if he wants anything to change. I think I remember you saying that the tutor who hasn't marked his essays is also his Director of Studies. That's unfortunate, but I think that makes it all the more important for him to speak to the tutor, because he can't call upon his DoS to help in the way that most of the other students will be able to.

Also, the pastoral tutor hasn't been in touch all term? That's completely inappropriate too. These are difficult, busy times, but where I work we've been turning ourselves virtually inside out on a daily basis and doing lots of unpaid overtime since March to try to make sure that this term goes as well as possible for the students. One would hope that staff at all good universities would be adopting the same approach. Clearly your son's tutor isn't.

So, I think he needs to speak up. He's entitled to have his essays marked, and he should have them back before the holidays (or at the start of the holidays, now that the holidays are almost here) so that he can review them. He also should have instruction on what he needs to read before next term, and does he have exams in January? If so then presumably he needs some advice about that?

I'm so sorry to hear about the experience he's been having - it actually makes me quite angry, because I know it doesn't have to be that way. If the tutor is too busy then he needs to discuss that with the college, and they need to arrange for his duties to be split. Your son has worked hard all the way through school for this experience, including having taken a year out to re-apply, and it's simply unacceptable for him to be treated so casually.

I hope you and he can get this sorted out.

Duh - partner = parent.

IKEA Christmas trees 2020 Warning!

You have to buy them without seeing them out of the wrapping. I got mine home this evening, it’s totally dead inside - completely unusable and made the most enormous mess.
So disappointed! Wanted to warn others so they can avoid the same scenario

@mutterphore - I'm glad @SpudsandGravy has written what she* has, because I think your DS's experience is more than "just one of those things". He is the paying customer for this tuition and it really sounds like something is going wrong at the moment, and he should speak up about his concerns.

Can he put out feelers to any second years to find out if this is normal? Or raise it with someone more senior? Who knows, perhaps this DOS is having particularly difficulties and the college needs to know and act...

*default female assumption on MN

It's good to read everyone's updates on the term. DD coming home on Saturday and it feels like she's only just hit her stride, so to speak. She was pretty poorly for almost two weeks with covid and was finding the workload a battle before that, so the middle of the term was difficult for her - definitely not prepared for the volume of work from the start. She's had quite a lot of teaching - in person and online and more tutorials than I would have expected, including comprehensive end of term reports, with indicative grades . She's made good friends in her staircase but had little contact outside that, spending a long time in her room.....hoping that aspect might change next term. She says it feels like she only just arrived! She seems to have really grown up too (thank goodness!)

Assumption correct, DadDadDad :)

I've just been reading the new guidance about returning to university after the Christmas holidays. DS had planned to return on 16 January. He has f2f practicals scheduled for 21 and 22 January, so would like to be there before then if possible.

I just read this too @Ironoaks. DS is supposed to have collections on the 15th but maybe that will change. I am glad we haven’t booked return flights yet. Hopefully details will become clearer soon.