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Higher education

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Oxford and Cambridge current students discussion thread

999 replies

sandybayley · 20/11/2020 07:26

Starting a new one as we filled it up!

Can't believe DS1 will be home in 2 weeks. Must remember to adjust the Ocado shop for when he's back. I suspect we may end up with a few days of his favourite meals 😊

OP posts:
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Malbecfan · 23/11/2020 19:53

@ofteninaspin, are you collecting DS? I hope to be there on 5th. I haven't been there since June as DH did the drop-off so I'm not entirely sure where DD's room is. I hope all is ok with your DD especially given it's her 21st. My DD had hers in the summer. All very strange, but memorable in a weird way!

SnapSnapDragon · 23/11/2020 21:00

Yes, fingers crossed for your DD, often. It would be extremely unlucky for her to have virtually half the term in isolation. Hopefully it's just a cold. Also, I hope that the rumours are true and isolation periods will be reduced, because at the moment there is a huge disincentive for students to report symptoms.

Looks like good news today regarding sport next year. I am hopeful that they can get back out on the river/playing fields and that matches can have spectators.

mutterphore · 23/11/2020 21:14

Often, I've got my fingers crossed for your DD that her test is negative. It would be too much if she and her household had to stay in isolation even longer. I really hope she's OK and it's just a normal late-term virus.

Does anyone know what the usual (pre-pandemic) Oxford return date for Hilary term in January? I presume it's before full term begins on 16th Jan?

ofteninaspin · 23/11/2020 21:46

Unfortunately, DD’s test has come back positive so they are all back in isolation. DD, who is feeling quite poorly with a fever, reports that morale in the house is rather low.
@malbecfan, DH is collecting DS and I’m doing Oxford the day before. I’m glad your DD managed a 21st celebration of sorts. It will certainly be memorable!
College have offered to deliver the Oxmas formal dinner to the whole house next week.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 23/11/2020 21:54

I'm sorry Often I hope that your dd feels better quickly.

Pepermintea · 23/11/2020 22:06

Often I'm so sorry for your daughter and her house. I hope she feels better quickly. I've lost track on whose DC are in which year. Is she a fresher?

MarchingFrogs · 24/11/2020 00:26

@ofteninaspin, the whole household doesn't need to enter another 14 days of self isolation, if the household contacts hadn't finished the original period of isolation when your DD developed symptoms. Your DD obviously needs to self isolate for another 10 days, though.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-stay-at-home-guidance/stay-at-home-guidance-for-households-with-possible-coronavirus-covid-19-infection#if-you-live-with-someone-with-covid-19-symptoms-or-a-positive-test-result

Your 14-day isolation period starts from the day when the first person in your household developed symptoms. If you are isolating because someone in your house has had a positive test result but does not have symptoms, your 14-day period starts from the day their test was taken.

Returning to your normal routine

If you remain well, you can return to your normal routine at the end of the 14-day period. You do not need to isolate for longer than 14 days, even if other household members develop symptoms during this period. However, the person with new symptoms should now self-isolate for 10 days. People in the household who remain well after 14 days are unlikely to be infectious.

ofteninaspin · 24/11/2020 09:51

@MarchingFrogs, my understanding is that the two housemates who have not had Covid have to isolate for 14 days from when DD developed symptoms (ie day 13 of the previous 14 day period of isolation). The college are discussing what happens for the two who have had Covid and ended their isolation on day 10. Although they are no longer shedding virus themselves, they are living with someone who is currently positive and are therefore potentially vectors.
DD is currently the only positive student in her college and her household is the only one left in isolation.

@Pepermintea, DD is a third year at O. She is living with another third year and three finalists. DS is a fresher at C.

Malbecfan · 24/11/2020 17:22

Really sorry to read this often. I hope your DD gets off as lightly as possible. I'll just have to look out for your DH then at C amongst all the other parents - I promise not to go around asking random chaps "are you often's DH?" Grin

ofteninaspin · 24/11/2020 18:28

@Malbecfan 😀

mutterphore · 24/11/2020 20:26

Often, I'm so sorry to hear about your DD's positive test and the implications for her household. Poor her and all of them really, especially at this point in the term.

In better news, DS1 (C) has now found a good library outside of his own college and also not even related to his own faculty, where he's studying each day and feel happy to be branching out from his own base a little. He seems relaxed and settled and has enjoyed another face to face supervision this time, by the college Christmas tree. He's finished all the essays he needs to do for this term (so so few compared to DS2 and so so short in their word limit too!) and is still waiting to get back 3 previous essays which have yet to be marked. He's hoping that there'll be more opportunities to meet more people next term and beyond - and is optimistic. He's got a couple of mostly online societies/clubs still running and maybe they can happen properly next term or by summer term.

DS2 (O) is thoroughly enjoying his last few weeks of term, still working very hard for hours and hours each day but loving it and the more he has to do, the more energised and fulfilled he is. He's often the first up in college in the morning when he goes out running, seems to have made lots of friends and has acquired a few 'positions of responsibility' through 'election' etc. He's still able to enjoy Chamber Choir, which continues to run in person, uses the college rowing machine which they've kindly set up in its own private space for the rowers and has time left over for quite a lot of extracurricular activities that remain available.

Both of them and I are really looking forward to seeing each other again - and me - and we're very lucky, as we always spend Xmas as just the three of us so - all being well and not testing positive - our celebrations should run as normal. I can barely believe that the first term is almost over, as it's gone by so quickly for us all - except the 14 days they were in isolation earlier in the term.

ofteninaspin · 24/11/2020 21:04

@mutterphore, it's good to read that DT1's has found a good study space and of his general optimism.

The Covid saga in DD's household continues. Unfortunately, one of the original recovered "positives" is unwell again so had another Covid test today on medical advice. If that comes back negative (which it surely must?), they can all stop isolating except for DD. If it is positive, they must all self isolate from today for 14 days. Neither scenario is great for DD, especially if she is left isolating on her own for Oxmas and her 21st birthday but at least the end is in sight for the others. Ironically, DD's college gave permission today for her stay on an extra night at the end of term to facilitate parental pick up but there is now the possibility that they will all need to stay until Dec 8th anyway Confused.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 25/11/2020 21:19

I forgot that it's Bridgemas today.

Ironoaks · 25/11/2020 22:56

DH and I received a message from DS:
"Would you prefer port, claret, apple juice, or ale?"

Not sure if this is a personality quiz or whether this is what we're getting for Christmas. 😂

OhYouBadBadKitten · 26/11/2020 18:50

of course you asked for apple juice Grin

Ironoaks · 26/11/2020 19:31

I have a feeling that this is the range of bottled drinks produced by the college; if so then it's possible that he is planning to buy one as a gift.

I said that we like both port and apple juice, which would give him options depending on his end-of-term budget situation.

ofteninaspin · 28/11/2020 21:10

DD’s isolation finishes tomorrow - after 24 days - on her 21st birthday 😊.
I hope there are no further positive tests results amongst our DC in the coming week to scupper homeward travel plans.

Hoghgyni · 28/11/2020 21:46

I hope she has the chance to do something memorable Often. Only a couple of hours left.

sandybayley · 28/11/2020 21:48

DS1's travel plans have been disrupted by Covid in our home! DH and DD have both tested positive so me and DS2 have to SI until Mon 7th. It'll be longer if either of us develop symptoms ☹️

DS1 is relatively relaxed about it and has already organised to stay in O until the 8th, possibly longer.

He thinks he'll be back in labs (Chemistry) in January Smile

OP posts:
sandybayley · 28/11/2020 21:49

@ofteninaspin - I sat one of my finals on my 21st! Sadly not the last one...

OP posts:
mutterphore · 28/11/2020 22:05

Often, that's good to hear about your DD at last and good timing too! I hope she can celebrate and that nobody else tests positive. I also hope that her college have been supportive, as it must have been incredibly difficult for her to have two consecutive stints in isolation. She really deserves a brilliant birthday tomorrow.

DS2 continues to have a brilliant time on every level at O! It's everything he dreamed of - academically/intellectually and socially and I'm very pleased for him. He's made some very good friends and meets up with a variety of people most days - outside of course - to chat, go for walks, have takeaway lunch or coffee. So many people share his wider interests and enthusiasm for his subject too and he's taken up several activities that make him feel a core part of his college and of Oxford.

DS1 (C) is also still happy enough but still not getting any chance at all to meet like-minded people and often spending days without talking much to anyone at all. This is my most sociable DC too who had lots of friends at school and is never at a loss for things to say!

He occasionally socialises with his household but all they want to do is play card games late at night and talk about gaming and he's never ever been into gaming. It's really not his thing at all and I don't think he's even ever played a computer game.

He hears about his brother having long walks with friends, discussing everything from future careers, politics, literature, philosophy and history etc - or people just sharing more interesting stuff about their lives and I'm sure he feels envious, although he's very happy that his brother has found so many like-minded people.

Nobody that he's met so far in his college seems at all interested in anything other than the most superficial things and there's no sense of an 'arts and humanities' group that he can tap into along his corridor or in his household.

I'm trying to think of things he can do next term to meet more people but there just seem to be no opportunities and his college feels like an anonymous, sprawling campus where most people hide away in their rooms, largely nocturnal, occasionally emerging in the early hours of the morning to shriek and crash around in the corridors before retreating back again! (My words, not his, I hasten to add!).

There are about 40 to 50 people on each corridor/floor and from what he's heard, a faction seem to do a lot of their socialising around 3am to 4am - involving lots of alcohol and recreational 'substances'. But surely that can't be the only way people meet others at Cambridge? As he's not into that kind of thing at all, he's got a limited group with whom he can socialise and they still only want to do gaming and cards which he's not into either.

If things are still all online again next term and people still just take their plastic trays of food to their rooms and eat alone, I don't know how he or anyone else can find their 'tribe'. He gets out for solo walks and goes to a library outside of college to work, which is good but beyond that, he's meeting no one at all on his wavelength.

His supervisions seem to be just general 'chat' about a text rather than the 'cut and thrust', intellectually challenging discussions he'd expected and unlike for his brother, no one at all seem interested enough in their subject to want to talk about it outside of supervision - ever. He's still waiting to have half of all his term's essays even marked and I'm struggling to understand why it's all so very different from what he'd expected and from my own experiences of Oxbridge.

Each week, his brother has several lengthy and difficult texts to read, disseminate and then put together in a way that answers an essay question. His tutorial last for around 1.5 hours and really pushes him to think further, defend his argument and enjoy going deeper into the essay question.

DS1 (C) usually has one single text and only needs to express some generic ideas and themes about this in a one hour supervision, where his co-supervisee also does the same. There's no sense of being pushed intellectually and no essay around which the supervision focuses.

The only people he's met who he feels are on his wavelength are all outside his college and all his societies/clubs effectively shut down when we went into another lockdown. I hope next term will be better
and he's worked out a way to manage well within these limits but it's not what he expected and still like being on a completely different planet to his brother at Oxford.

JulesJules · 28/11/2020 22:53

Happy birthday to your DD, often she certainly deserves a lovely day after that lengthy stint in iso.

D1 has booked her train for next Saturday, can't wait to see her. She's finished all her essays for this term but has one to do over Christmas.

hobbema · 28/11/2020 22:56

Oh dear @mutterphore, it really does continue to be a game of two halves doesnt it? Poor DT1. I wonder if he’s at a college he chose or was he pooled? Do they get good final degree results? I’ve been amazed at how quickly my DT1 has started talking about networking events she’s been to organised by big law firms and people signing up for vacation schemes. She has amassed a pile of goodies already ! Barely started and yet term almost over, though she sternly tells me how much work she’s bringing home and its NOT a holiday... I wonder also if the comparison between English and History is part of the issue as my DT1 has also got a boggling reading list every week. But I’m a medic and have absolutely no idea how these thing compare. I’m also a bit relieved that I”m now officially redundant and useless for career advice. Though DT2 is in the cross hairs... I am counting the days now til pick up next weekend, quite beside myself.

HuaShan · 29/11/2020 08:38

Happy birthday to DD ofteninaspin, she must be very relieved!
sandy bad luck to have a slightly delayed departure. I am now self testing 2ce a week (NHS) and have a little anxiety attack as pick up gets closer in case I test positive! Picking up DS next Friday all being well.
mutterphore I think there are probably students in every college like the ones your DS1 is encountering - DS is kept awake by people partying in the next household over (walls are quite thin!). They go to bed at 2am and he gets up at 6.....Its a shame DS1 is not meeting more like minded people but perhaps it's a good life lesson? He will need to get along with many types of people in life. DS was a very quirky lad who went to a very mixed, large all boys comprehensive and did not really ever find many good friends but I watched it turn him into a person that was able to 'get along' with most types of people, something that I hope will stand him in good stead. I'm sure it will come eventually - DS has not really met many outside his household either but for now is just going with the flow and joining whatever is happening.

mutterphore · 29/11/2020 09:31

Hobbema, ironically , he chose this college as he thought that it seemed down to earth and inclusive. What he didn't bargain for was the inability, so far to meet anyone at all on his wavelength. He's very good at mixing with anyone and everyone and he does get on very well with the 'gamers' and 'Poker players' of his household - but they're not really his 'tribe' and are mostly engineers (He's got nothing against engineers of course but his brain seems to be hard-wired in a different way - more arts/humanities and let's just say that science and maths were not his forte at school!

Like your DT1, he (and his brother too) has participated in online networking events for law - which both will possibly pursue as a profession later on - and also done some online taster days/ sessions with various law firms and joined the university law society but it's all online and with no possibility of actually meeting anyone to chat with and get to know better.

His one allowed visit to the Cambridge Union at the start of term was like 'a breath of fresh air' as he instantly met a couple of people on his wavelength. I'm not talking about people who 'just want to talk about their subjects' at all BTW, what I mean is people who want to talk at a deeper level about arts/philosophy/literature/ careers and aspirations etc.

He also had the same experience at the one or two face to face get-togethers he had with people from another couple of societies he joined. But then what with needing to be in isolation for 14 days followed almost straightaway by another lockdown, those societies have been postponed till next term at best and he didn't get to know the others nearly well enough to remain in informal contact.

Significantly - but probably coincidentally - all those people were from other colleges and he's stuck with his own college for three years now and is just making the best of it. It is a good life lesson and he was already great at mixing with anyone and fitting in - but it just feels a shame that he can't find likeminded people.

Hua, it's actually very reassuring to hear that even at your DS's college, there are people who are more 'nocturnal and disruptive in the night. DS1 would prefer to be up by 7am but has had to shift his body clock later and later just to fit in with everyone else and even then gets woken in the early hours by the 'party people'.

Meanwhile, DS2 seems to have got very very lucky with his college and his corridor - the latter of which is tiny compared to DS1's. He's surrounded by people on his wavelength and who don't make a lot of noise even though - like many students - keep later hours than he does. The endless contrast between the two is so huge and as I got used to them both being at the same school all their lives, it's suddenly difficult for me too to see one experiencing everything he'd hoped for and the other not.

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