University 2020 :10: Empty nests warm vests and covid tests: uni parents 2020

[sammyjoanne]

Carry on from MilicentMartha's University 9 thead
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/a4025020-University-2020-9-And-theyre-off-making-hay-while-the-sun-shines?msgid=101075411#101075411

I think on campus the effect is "stricter" because they never got to meet in the first place, so cannot find who to have a socially distanced picnic With. Well, ds2 is certainly trying but very wary of being caught red handed. It is different with your old friends and family, the distance feels doable and you aren't trying to make friends at the same time

@Nettleskeins Is your DS part of any subject group chats? They have been a good way to start making friends outside the flat bubble as everyone has a shared common interest. And can meet on zoom/teams to discuss problem sheets/essays which helps.

Sammy, yes he is, for his subject..but he likes putting faces to names and having RL interactions. He is having a good time and doing remarkably well socially for someone with an autism diagnosis, perhaps it helps him to know that small successes are not to be underrated. His common interest is Football!!!
My description of his experiences at Lancaster are always semi-ironic btw, he himself is very ironic anyway when he is not being touchingly serious

In light of this 4pm news conference when a full national lockdown is expected to be announced, what our your thoughts on our DC staying at university? The suggestion seems to be that universities and schools will remain open.
I suspect DD may ask to come home. I strongly feel she should stay put but that will be easier to sell to her IF her housemates are also staying put.

But what will/won’t they be able to do? Will all sport be cancelled or will they let the life within the University just continue as it currently is?

It's going to be tricky. I'm sure full guidance for universities will be issued on 30th November.

2021...

I think DS will want to wait and see what action the university and the college takes. In order for him to come home, all three of these things would have to happen first:

1. If the university makes the decision that students can work from home and still qualify for their degree (as they did in March).

2. If the face to face practicals and tutorials stop (at the moment 50% are face to face).

3. If a significant proportion of his college leaves. He would be OK being the only one left in his household (they don't socialise much as a household anyway) but wouldn't want to be in a mostly empty college.

I think in his case that it would take a whole- university decision to advise them to go home before he would consider this.

I think DS will stay. It can’t be much worse than tier 3 is already, tbh.

That's my feeling MillicentMartha but I hope her housemates (and their parents) agree. She's in tier 3.

My dd has been home for a week and will stay if lockdown is announced. She moved from tier 1 to tier 1.
She's got no f2f lessons and no societies doing anything so she's not met anyone other than flatmates really.
She does chat with others from her subject online but it's no way the same as being able to socialise with them. Even though uni is in tier 1 they banned students from meeting anyone outside their household inside.
Her flatmates don't want to ever get together as a flat and won't even meet up in the kitchen in the evenings. She's suggested many things but they won't commit to do any of it. She can go days without seeing anyone to talk to so she's just requested to move accommodation so she can hopefully find some more sociable people. But looks like that won't happen anytime soon now if we go into lockdown.

Ds1 had a flat like that in first year 2018 Snozzle, very quickly he made friends with people in other flats..I know he would have found it impossible in 2020, faced with same setup. Your dad sounds like she has done her absolute best..hope new household is forthcoming after this intended lockdown. Another option can be to find ,2nd years in private ACC who need a room filling, I think you are allowed to view premises and obviously get to know the group. The accommodation office can often point the way. There again my 21 year old in third year would find that sort of sleuthing difficult enough, let alone a first year in Corona times.

We think ds2;and ds1 for that matter will be better staying put in their uni towns.

DD not Dad

Just come off face time with DD. Re the lockdown: She will be staying and she thinks all bar one (the one who has a g/f down south) will be staying too. DD would be worse off being at home being in a 2 up 2 down and sharing a her bedroom with her sister again and having to work from her bed. To have her own place and independence (and a desk) is a big thing for her.
DD does chat with her subject course mates online on a Sunday night, and she meets up with them for walks in the day. She's meeting up with one of them tomorrow again for walk round campus. She is going to make it a weekly/twice weekly thing (hopefully government wont stop rule of 6 outside walking). She said it was a little bit weird at first meeting for the first time, as they only ever know each other via a computer screen, but once she did it, she's glad to keep it ongoing.
4 of her housemates have gone to the lakes today, and the other 8 have got 2 tables of 4 booked at the corner house tonight cornerhouselancaster.co.uk/

DD told me on facetime last Sunday night she started working on a calculus problem sheet about 11am. Finishes 6am Monday morning!. She had a 2 hour lecture and 3 hours lab that day too. She always said she was never going to do an all nighter on a problem sheet/essay. Does anyone else's DC have this irregular pattern of sleep work play?

DD in Wales so her lockdown ends after ours in England starts, I was hoping to see her for my birthday end of November 😢 Now I hope I’ll see her when she finishes for Christmas. I will now have to post bloody large and bulky advent calendar ffs!

DD also in Wales and had booked to come home for reading week.
If the trains still run she's coming back. Mental health is too important.

Bloom and Wild do mini Xmas trees through the post. Complete with lights and decorations. I sent one to DD in her first year.

DS took a mini tree and fairy lights in September (Boy Scout )

@ShaunaTheSheep I bow to his organisation. Mine just about remembered her shoes (17 pairs).

@ShaunaTheSheep I did think about this myself as it would be nice to have a little tree in the room. Wonder if wilko will be open like how it was in first lockdown?

When DS did his gap year, I had a tree, lights and decorations delivered to him. In fairness, he was working until the end of Christmas Day (choral scholar) so his flat needed to be directed.
He left it all in the flat with a note for the following year's scholars.
Hopefully he and DD will get home for Christmas so won't need a tree but I'll get them a delivery if necessary.

Decorated not directed.

I sent the tree for December 1st with the advent Calender.

Did a quick spontaneous trip to see ds in Lancaster today in view of impending lockdown. We just spent a couple of hours with him and got some essentials from a supermarket (strawberries, toilet roll and beer!). There were lots of well decorated flats and pumpkins in windows which was nice to see, and all the kitchens looked buzzing and lively (including your dds one @sammyjoanne !!). So glad we got to see him.

It's lovely looking in as you walk around the Lancaster campus at dusk isn't it Special Ted? When I dropped off groceries (4?) weeks ago it was like watching Santa's elves in their workshop, or folk of the faraway tree, so many kitchens, so many groups of students through lighted windows. Ds2 has sent me a picture of himself in a toga for Halloween. DD is dressed as Bob Ross the artist but at home currently so she doesn't count as a fresher..