University 2020 :10: Empty nests warm vests and covid tests: uni parents 2020

[sammyjoanne]

Carry on from MilicentMartha's University 9 thead
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/a4025020-University-2020-9-And-theyre-off-making-hay-while-the-sun-shines?msgid=101075411#101075411

Best thread title ever!!!

@DadDadDad Your son is at Oxford? glad hes getting on. My daughter applied there last year and got to interview stage. Oxford starts are later so covid will hit at some point. DD was so careful too and stuck to the rules and their flat never mixed households, its just one of those things. Turns out shes out Sunday not Monday so not long to go now.

@ssd

Best thread title ever!!!

@BCBG have thank for this catchy title :)

Thanks @sammyjoanne and fab name @BCBG !!

Thanks, @sammyjoanne. Take 2!

Yes, CV-19 is stalking Oxford like everywhere else - give it time...

DD facetimed her today, said Saturday night they are having a new years eve type party and midnight on Sunday they are walking up the north and south spine of Lancaster uni for a bumble and celebrating their end of isolation. Meanwhile mum here is like ''erm washing needs doing first'' lol. She got 2 weeks worth.

@ssd thanks and thanks 😊 @sammyjoanne for the new thread - I for one find it very helpful and comforting to get an idea of the shared experiences. When DD's older siblings were at uni everything seemed so simple - now it's very complicated and hard to watch from a distance for sure

@BCBG It is a complication. This year is so different to other years. Its a digital world and even more so now its a pandemic. Its become a lifeline for a lot of people :) DD half her physics friends are isolating or cant meet up any longer for dinner because of the tiers, so they are now all group chatting again once a week. Your daughter has done superbly over self isolation and settling in, you must be very proud :)

Placemarking!

Thank you @sammyjoanne for the new thread and @BCBG for the perfect thread title.

Each week DS's household is tested by the university. A number of them from each household are selected at random to provide a swab, and this week DS was one of the chosen ones. Their household has tested negative each week so far.

He has joined a small choir with a manageable time commitment (rehearsals once a week) and there's a space large enough to rehearse at a safe distance. I'm pleased he has found something where he can take part in person.

Thats great the unis doing regular testing :) Thats should help keep cases down :)

Place marking!

DD came out of self isolation at Oxford today. Around 20% of her college had either tested positive or were in SI last weekend. She had a huge dinner delivered each evening, but it was a little hit and miss what it contained. For example, last Sunday's roast beef dinner turned out to be chicken & mushroom pasta. She was in a household of one, so she couldn't wait to go outside at midnight.

@sammyjoanne - 2 weeks of laundry is nothing! DS started at St Andrews 5th Sep and has just done his laundry - 6 weeks worth! They are not allowed to have any guests so he met his GF at an AirBnB with a washing machine and avoided the hassle (and cost) of a hall laundry room.

@BCBG Brilliant title!

@Monkey2001 6 weeks thats a lot of washing, wow

@Hoghgyni household of 1, fair play to her, thats some going for 14 days on your own. Hope she didnt get too bad symptoms. And good on Oxford providing dinners. Some of the rooms dont even have a kitchen, or if they do, not an oven.

Urgh. Daughter struggling mental health wise, she’s a second year in London, boyf second year in a tier 1 town, she has a pre uni mental health history that required inpatient care. Both her and boyfriend are living in shared houses so they know the rules, but are spending time together one day each weekend outdoors, not visiting each other’s accomodation. Lived together during lockdown and are a very close couple - 3 year relationship.

Daughters flatmate was told to SI as someone had attended her in person class despite being symptomatic and awaiting Covid test results. All fine, SI flatmate being looked after by the rest of the flat. But yesterday she developed symptoms and had a test - awaiting results. So daughter and rest of flat unable to attend their twice weekly in-person class/skills lab today pending results, and daughter unable to attend classes, see boyfriend, or get out to exercise potentially for a fortnight. I was already concerned about how close she is to a relapse, it’s looking like a very real possibility if all of her coping strategies are removed.

I know that daughter is not the only one affected. Her whole flat are in this situation. But potentially so are the flatmates of every student in that anatomy class plus every student at the sports club that that initial boy attended while he was symptomatic and waiting for his test results. I’m so cross, partly that a medical student could be so short sighted and selfish to risk affecting the lives of so many others, but partly because the media seem to be trying to portray students as spreading the virus by ignoring the rules and partying when most are living very carefully to safeguard the classes they do have, having missed out on so much.

Sorry for the rant!

Am so happy I have my boy home for a few days as they have a bit of a half term break at Trinity Laban (conservatoire based in Greenwich) He got home yesterday evening and we had such a nice catch up - he's been loving everything about it in spite of the 2 week flat lockdown he went through a few weeks ago. Getting on so well with a new friendship group including his flatmates, has two great music teachers to take his playing forwards who have both started lessons with some encouraging pep talks about making the most of this opportunity, as well as different insights into how he can develop, and we just agreed that he's landed in such a great corner of London - with great things like the park, the river, the market and various pubs and nightlife on his doorstep, and with such easy access to the rest of London via trains to London Bridge. He's also pretty near to his grandparents but holding off on a visit to them at the moment. It was great to stay with them around move in at the beginning of September though and I think they loved being involved with that too.
Also he was telling me he has a girlfriend, and told me all about her. She's on a slightly different course, and comes from a different country, but other than that DS tells me they're just the same. He showed me some pics of them both too and she is very beautiful and looks so lovely. Awww, I think my boy might be in love! Can she come and stay at Christmas?!
Also heard about their flatmate who's been struggling with things (not a first year) He's decided to go home for now and can continue course online and might think about returning in January. So I think that's probably for the best - feel for him and his family. What a responsibility they can all feel for one another, especially in this challenging year. I think sometimes they need support with being supporters, and hope they realise that student services are available to offer this as well.
DS is out birdwatching with his Dad this morning but hoping I'll have lots of time with him too over the next few days. Thinking lunch out in a local cafe might be nice. Or tea and cake somewhere. He has a couple of friends still around at home who he might be wanting to catch up with too.
Anyone else have half-term visits home happening or like my friend taking the opportunity to visit DC this week? She is always visiting her DC at Uni and doing either grocery or cake drop offs with one of them!

That sounds tough, @HostessTrolley. Hopefully their flatmates will look after each other. At least she’s with people she’s chosen in second year - a small mercy, though.

I sent DS some brownies through the post. He’s out of isolation but in a tier 3 area, I can’t visit him, he can’t visit me and the student bar is closed and there is no F2F going on at all. So this was by way of compensation, and he now knows how to collect his post. I’m not entirely sure he’s done any washing yet.

Cross post @JugglingFromHereToThere. I’m on half term next week and would normally be visiting. My DS1 also lives in Manchester so I was going to see them both, but it’s really not allowed. You’re lucky your DS could come home from a tier 2 area.

We are staying near DS on Monday/Tues/Wed and have offered him a meal and a Sainsbury’s trip at a convenient time.

We are also apparently running a London to Durham courier service for his mates - 3 different parents turned up last night with parcels/a bicycle wheel/what smells like brownies/a bean bag. Still a bit of space if anyone wants to PM me!!!

I feel for you HostessTrolley - is worrying for us when DC going through a flat lockdown especially when we know they need their familiar things, routines and relationships for wellbeing support. All I can say is with my DS having been through a flat lockdown it wasn't as bad for him as I worried it would be. They all supported one another and when we talked about it last night it was mostly the lack of freedom to go out and do things which resulted in a general sense of frustration and boredom, but there was even a slight positive that they got to know one another a bit better. Anyway, I do hope it goes OK for your DD, and she's back to freedom and being able to see boyfriend again and get out for some exercise again and some variety really soon. Two weeks staying inside is such a lot to ask of them all isn't it? How much longer does she have to go now?

@HostessTrolley that sounds very worrying. There is a lack of humanity in the way rules are imposed. This could be a bit of a male/female, Nicola Sturgeon imposed a tough lock-down for areas of Scotland over 3 weeks ago, but there was an exception which meant that non co-habiting couples could see each other as well as children with separated parents being able to see both parents. Our mostly male government does not seem to have that level of empathy.

I am sure you are monitoring it carefully, but maybe you need to talk to her about coming home at the end of the isolation period, even if it may mean deferring a year. A 3rd year medic died in Bristol on Sunday and it looks to me like a suicide. I don't want to be alarmist, just saying that if you are really worried, you should encourage her to think that working from home or taking a year out would be fine with you and will not have a significant impact on her career. People often feel obliged to stick to the path because they don't want to let anybody down, but you want her to make decisions for the right reasons.

@HostessTrolley totally understand. my DD is SI at the moment. We think her and her housemates caught it because it was kicking out time at 10pm from a club (which was prebooked tables of 6 and covid compliant) and they were all waiting for the bus home and there was no social distancing in the queue. What I find frustrating is that many are asymptomatic and do not know they have it, thats how so easy it spreads. Is it possible that bf is allowed at your DD house or vice versa? With it being an established relationship and (not sure on the ruling) you would think governments might make allowances on that.

@JugglingFromHereToThere thats so nice hes found someone and nice for him to be home to visit.

@MillicentMartha loving the brownies :) couldnt you visit your DS and keep at a distance outside like a park or something with it being a tier 3?

@sammyjoanne, it’s a 3 hour drive, 6 hour round trip. A bit far for an hour in a park, possibly in the rain! If I could at least take him out for lunch, I’d do it.

And the advice is not to enter or leave a tier 3 unless essential, sadly. I can’t really justify it.