University 2020 :10: Empty nests warm vests and covid tests: uni parents 2020

[sammyjoanne]

Carry on from MilicentMartha's University 9 thead
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/a4025020-University-2020-9-And-theyre-off-making-hay-while-the-sun-shines?msgid=101075411#101075411

I also joined for sleep advice for dd1. She's still keen to chat into the early hours but thank goodness for "do not disturb" setting on phone.
Nothing much to report from Birmingham; anxious flatmate went for test but is negative so somehow their large flat has dodged covid so far; it's like waiting for a bomb to drop. Apparently online lectures have their benefits - running them at speed and pausing when you don't understand, zoom neuroscience computer practical a complete disaster, lots of work to get on with and it's still better than being bored at home. Which is a good thing
Sorry to hear about those students who are really not happy. Mental health is so important. Do whatever you need to do to keep your young adults on an evenish keel.

DD1 is really enjoying being away and has settled so well. She's got a mix of online and face to face, the online is less engaging but that's something they're having to get used to. There are very few cases at her uni (UoG) which is a big relief.

I joined in 2002, DS was premature and I had a lot of anxiety! I have had numerous name changes since though.
We have just had lunch with DS, luckily we are only an hour away. It was great to see him so happy. Sadly he scooted off to do some work, I could have happily spent all afternoon with him. But he's happy and after the past 6 months it's a relief they can be getting on with their lives.

Was anyone on Babycentre 2002?

I was on there for about 3 yrs then I found Mumsnet, buy I wish I'd found it earlier.

@thesunwillout

Was anyone on Babycentre 2002?

I was on there for about 3 yrs then I found Mumsnet, buy I wish I'd found it earlier.

I started on baby centre first in 2002 then found Mumsnet and never went back.

Not surprised, I could have done with some advice from Mumsnet from ages pregnant to 3yrs!
I did find it useful in tho.

@GaribaldiGirl

Update from the student who bailed out after two weeks 😀 DD loving doing her degree from home, working quite hard and enjoying doing online course. I’m now torn between relief that she’s happy and anxiety that it’ll be hard to go back. I asked her if she was worried she wouldn’t know anyone when she went back and that would make it tricky. She said that it was virtually impossible to meet people anyway with the restrictions. Welcome *@Frdd* - is your daughter in a tier 3 zone?

So glad to see your update GaribaldiGirl. I followed your posts about dd as my dd is going through very similar. She's managed to stick it out until now despite not being able to meet anyone other than her flatmates who she hasn't gelled with. She visited home 3 weeks ago for the weekend and has now come home again, for about 10 days this time. I think she'd be better staying at home for rest of term as I can't bear to think of her stuck in her room, sometimes not seeing anyone face to face for days. But she likes living independently and is determined to go back for the rest of term. But she's going to see how she gets on this week studying from home before she decides for sure whether or not to go back now. I hope and pray next term brings more face to face learning so she can have an opportunity to make friends. It breaks my heart to think of her not having anyone to go out with at weekends.

@sammyjoanne have a lovely time! Ds also out of isolation tomorrow.

Another hello and welcome @Frdd . I hope you will find our shared experiences comforting in these strange times! @DadDadDad put it so well - they are definitely learning resilience and it will stand them in good stead in the long run, I think. My own DD is only recently diagnosed as autistic and with ADHD for which she is medicated, and we have had (up until that point) a terrible terrible couple of years. To be honest I was bricking it when I heard that she was having to isolate but (and it is a fingers crossed 🤞 but) she is learning so much from being alongside other youngsters who can push through this that I really think demonstrates that not all learning at uni is academic! Not that that will stop you worrying and feeling sad for your DC just yet, i know.

Have a great time sammyjoanne. 🤞🏻The weather improves for you.

Not sure when I joined MN. It was around the time of the Gina Ford kerfuffle and I never looked back. Have had a name change and didn’t post a lot at first.

I'm sure she's doing the right thing for her. I hate all the blanket posts on SM saying that all students should be sent home, as some prefer being away to being at home, but for others it's the right decision. Is there an option to move to the alternative campus if things drag on?

@specialted @LetUsPrey Thanks :) facetimed DD earlier on, they have a new years eve countdown ready for this evening and going for a bimble (a uni term for walk after midnight on campus she said) and they are having a party right now.

@BCBG understand about resilience. DD had an awful couple of years. At 15 she had an episode of SVT, and had to have her heart restarted as it couldnt be slowed down. 3 weeks later she did a 5k run for charity and it was a real worrying for her because she thought exercise would start it off again. But she conquered her fear :) A year later her uncle passed away aged 35 and her grandma 8 weeks later right in the middle of g.c.s.e's. Thankfully she hasn't had an episode of SVT since thankfully, but docs cant rule it out she could have another in the future. She has bad migraines, so takes tablets which also coincidentally help her heartrate stay lower. She had a rough period of time and come out the other side of it. Its amazing what young people go through and come out of it ok. You must be so so proud of of your daughter, it sounds like likes coping amazingly well :)

I been on MN for about 4 months. I had been on it few years earlier but couldn't get me head round how it all works lol. Mainly on FB since 2008 and student room for a couple of years on the Oxford parents thread there, and have my own blog on there on the application process and open days and that.

Your DD has done very well, sammyjoanne. I guess some of us have been on this year group’s ongoing threads since the GCSE years, so feel we ‘know’ each other quite well, but with name-changes and all the new people who joined for A levels during corona, it’s changed a bit.

We’ve had a thread on Higher Ed for around 2 years. We’ve always tried to make it inclusive and supportive. I’m glad the newer people already feel at home here.

I have just recently joined Mumsnet and have found this thread to be really welcoming. It's so nice to know there are other parents out there in the same situation with their DS /DD being away at university with everything that brings and then there is Covid19 on top of that too. I do check this thread regularly for any Lancaster updates as I certainly get more information this way than from my DS

I'm one of the veterans who has been on these threads from year 10 onwards.

DD was in self isolation at the same time as discovering that a very close family member was reaching the end off their life. I was torn in two directions, wanting to tell DD in person at the same time as needing to be elsewhere. Uni welfare gave me solid advice, despite lacking experience themselves in handling such things in Covid times. They have been great, so I strongly recommend contacting them if you need to.

I posted on here a couple of months back (or maybe a similar thread) about DS's angst about going to his 2nd choice Uni at the other end of the country.
I'm very pleased to report he is loving it, Covid & all (and he's in Scotland where restrictions are very strict).
He's had Covid (I'm glad it's out of the way before Xmas), happy with his city centre location, likes his flatmates and seems to have made lots of new friends.
It has all turned out great, as so many of you said it would!
Thank you.

Happily all seems to be going well for my 2. Exeter DD lives on her own in a studio flat and has been self isolating for years whenever possible. Must be one of the few students who really doesn't want a return to face to face teaching! York DD is in a flat of 12 and amazingly they all seem to get on well. Have noticed that they video call me when they think the cat is likely to be in - suspect they're missing him more than me!

@Hoghgyni Sorry to hear that. Hope your daughter is ok.

Hello all. Just catching upon this very rainy morning. Thanks for the new thread and to those sharing their stories here.

I have been on MN for about 19 years I think, have mostly been a lurker, and have had a couple of name changes. My DS are18 and 16. These threads were a real comfort through the awful A level results time.

As many of you know now, DS1 is a fresher at Lancaster. He's just had coronavirus and come out of isolation. He and his 12 flatmates are relentlessly cheery and getting on with life within the constraints of the new rules. Luckily he has some face to face teaching and is enjoying his new independence.

Hi to all Lancaster mums. I'm a bit frustrated with the uni at the moment as they seem to have lost a parcel of treats I sent up last week. It was signed for so we know it's there but DS has twice been to collect and been told they don't have it. I'm going to phone tomorrow morning and see if I can get any sense out of them. (DS has ADHD and can get anxious about dealing with authority and then can be a bit rude without meaning to be - sort of overly direct. If he's flustered he forgets the niceties. I have told him its not a big deal and if it's actually lost we will all move on).

I am planning a day trip to see him in the next 2 or 3 weeks. Given the rules I won't be able to go in the flat which is a shame, but I'll get to spend some time with him and take him out for lunch and spoil him. Can't wait!

@WellWoman that's so annoying about the parcel. Maybe phone college warden ? I've not attempted to send anything tbh apart from an Asda delivery. Ds has also been remarkably cheery throughout isolation, think last night they were doing something to do with olympics (no idea what!), I've been amazed at the ideas they have all come up with .
I started in mumsnet about 10 years ago, really found the med school one helpful for dd. (Waves at @mumsneedwine ) . Was briefly on gcse one but finding this thread great for uni !

@Wellwoman, you won’t be able to take him out for lunch in tier 3 unless you take a picnic and have it outside somewhere!

@WellWoman Its a relief when they come out of isolation, DD came out today. They had a new years eve party with a countdown on the projector last night, and drinking games. Then midnight they went out for a bimble (their word for after midnight walk on lancaster campus) and ended up walking all the way to Galgate and back, eventually ended going to sleep at 3.45am.

Hope your DS manages to get his parcel. now they all go to one place its more easier to lose it. And will be nice to see your DS. :)

@specialted waving right back 😊. I've been here far too long. Kept away for a bit as the teacher bashing was doing my head no good. I am exhausted and thinking about leaving as not sure I can do this until July.
Poor DD isolating again until 2nd and missing all her f2f, netball matches and meeting up with her vet family for first time. It's beyond rubbish. Bristol have been amazing proving food and checking on them but she is so fed up. I've offered to go get her (I don't care what the rules say, I spend my days with 1,800 of other people's kids and I will not be kept away from mine). But she wants to stay.
Eldest home for a few days as we have a new dog - DD missing that too. I hate Covid.

Oh no, mumsneedwine is she having to isolate for the second time?