UEA (2019) dealing with the unexpected and on to 2nd Year

[juicy0]

New thread for the parents of 2019 freshers. Thank you all for sticking around!
At the start of the year we never would have guessed the topics that are currently being discussed in this page but I'm grateful we still have each other to help navigate our way through this with our DC.
With the emptying of 1st year rooms seemingly on hold for many until the end of lockdown our thoughts will soon turn to 2nd year accommodation and whether term is likely to start as normal in September.

Happy Birthday to your DS @icanbewhatiwant.

Thanks for confirming that @NotSorry - it does make sense!

Good luck to those DC doing the stats exam tomorrow!

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 thanks. He had a party via some app. on his laptop. There was only one guy from university, his gf, the rest were all school friends. Aren't they fortunate to have social media.

Glad to hear your DS had a nice birthday @icanbewhatiwant, social media is a godsend isn’t it.

DS checked evision and it seems we have £460 to pay, DS didn’t get the form back on time (I didn’t know about until alerted here), so I presume he’s been charged for a week or two more.

I’m hoping DS will have a phone call with a letcutrer this week, slowly making a bit of progress although, he’s spending 75% of his time in his room ☹️

I do feel though that so much of life is now not normal that DS needs to spend time working out what he wants to do, there’s no rush and if he drops out for a while it’s not going to be a massive problem.

@Itscoldouthere no there's no rush at the moment. Hopefully he will decide what to do. They don't have anymore biology exams. It's a shame they've missed so much lab time, I'm sure that is one of the better parts of biology.

All mine spend a lot of time in their rooms. Isn't that normal these days? Or possibly more so for boys. Ds2 is 16. He only comes downstairs for food. Ds1 isn't downstairs much, but he will come on a dog walk with me, he often watches the news in the living room for an hour at 6pm. Not with us though, we are in the kitchen with the pup. Even ds3 age 11 seems to prefer his room. It's quite sad really.

@icanbewhatiwant we’ve always kept the boys computers downstairs as a way of keeping them in view. They’ve never had TV in bedrooms either, but actually they don’t seem to watch any TV, it’s all you tube or Netflix.
We do some family film watching but most night it’s just me and DH in the sitting room, the boys in the snug on their computers.
We go to bed after the 10pm news, they stay up much later.
It’s a bit of a weird fragmented life !
We do all eat together every evening and unless we are having a family movie night, it’s at the table.
My oldest DS get up at a good time, will come on walks, sit outside in the garden if it’s sunny etc, he’s not really a bedroom dweller, but some days I don’t see DS2 till supper, I’m sure it’s not healthy !
But I’m also not up for fighting with him about it, not with the ways things currently are, I think if my DH wasn’t here working very hard I’d be tempted to have a few in my room days 🤣 but I don’t because I’d feel too guilty!

I guess even £460 is considerably less than the £1.4K (plus some) originally due....

The whole university accommodation fees thing is a bit of a rip off really. Most students don't need to pay for more than 30 weeks (if they are happy to be at home during their vacs) yet even the luckiest on shorter contracts seem to be paying for at least 40 weeks.

DS was a bit worried about the statistics exam (geography). He is okay at maths but not a natural 'mathmo' and said that they could really have done with some recently taught lessons.

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 oh yes it was totally DS fault we got charged more as he didn’t send the form back, just have to pay up, but I’m so glad we haven’t had to pay the whole term.
Hope your DS exam was ok, will he have more or is that it?
I’ve got no idea how much work they’ve been given to do at home, as DS hasn’t been keeping up with his work unfortunately. I only knew about DS having an exam as it was mentioned on here by icanbewhatiwant, he may we’ll have missed others.
Do you think they will have online teaching in September? I feel like it’s starting to look like a possibility.

DS came downstairs saying that the exam was hideous but a couple of sentences on he was saying it wasn't too bad. So I think the jury is out on that one.

No more exams just two pieces of course work to do.

Hoping your DS does get the support he needs from his lecturer. Would someone in the welfare department perhaps be the place to start? They may be more positively encouraging? @Itscoldouthere.

It seems that most parents and DC are planning for the latter to be going back to university for the new academic year even if they are still 'online'. I really think that if they are going to have to pay their rent (most will be in private houses won't they) anyway they may as well at least benefit from being with their friends having some semblance of a student lifestyle.

@Itscoldouthere yes we are the same with meals. Well...only evening meal, we all sit at the table together. It's so hard to get them to speak though. All 3 boys dislike each other ☹️ They all have tv's in their rooms. Not that they watch actual tv much. They are used for Xbox for the younger two boys. Ds1 has his computer.

As for work for biology, Ds has had a bit of work to do. But only that one exam. I'll ask him later how much work he's had. He's definitely disappointed with how this year has ended and also with lack of lab time last term, lots of strikes.

I hope they go back September. I think if they don't ds will move into his accommodation (if movement is allowed) all his new housemates are on his biology course, all but one are localish too. So they can go home again if they want. It will be nice to all be under the same roof, though I know they aren't all taking the same modules. So won't be attending the same lectures all the time.

My DC rarely frequent the same space as we adults. Except when I'm trying to work and they invade my space (open plan downstairs) to watch "Modern Family" downstairs. They used to get on really badly but since DD hit her teens they've actually learned to rub along quite nicely. Just as well because I have more than a few grey hairs courtesy of their arguing virtually every time we left the building (school runs used to be a nightmare).

Luckily my 2 now get on really well, they have a joint interest in gaming and Warhammer. DS1 is much more sociable, a bit of a party animal, DS2 a room dwelling non drinker, interestingly DS1 now has a lot of uni friends the same age as DS2, so I think he now thinks of him less like a little brother and more like a friend.
They had some years when they really didn’t get on when they were younger, but DS2 was very hard work and his Asperger was much more of a problem, so I understood why their relationship was tricky.
It’s a funny time being a mother, still needed in some ways, but made to feel irrelevant in others, I love that they are becoming independent, but at times I feel like the best years with them have passed and I will now always be on the sidelines of their lives.

Thank god I still have a good relationship with my DH 😊😂

DSgeography has said that the stats exam was really hard and said all his friends agreed with him. Not helped by Internet issues at home.
We have been watching the aforementioned Tiger King together with Code 404, Killing Eve and Friday Night Dinner. Other than that, we only see them at mealtimes. They are both nocturnal which keeps me awake with conversations, ablutions and door banging. Very annoying

DD also said geog stats exam was really tough today.

Is there hope for mine getting on one day then? Really the older 2 (19 and 16) don't dislike each other, they just don't really speak to each other. It's the 11 year old. The older 2 are constantly laughing at him...they forget they were his age once. Then ds3 calls them names and I get told off for not telling ds3 off. But they have often upset him in the first place. I often feel like bashing all their heads together.

Yes the older 2 seem to come to life about about 9pm and start shouting on their headsets to friends. It often goes on past midnight. Ds3 is trying to sleep resulting in him coming out of his room crying because he can't sleep and the older 2 getting annoyed at being told to be quiet, that results in the youngest being hated even more ☹️ Our house is plenty big enough downstairs to keep out of everyone's way. But upstairs the rooms are much closer together...or at least the 3 boys rooms are. So they can all hear each other.

The joys of being a mum. I definitely don't advise such a big age gap!!

@icanbewhatiwant I think so. I reckon once DS3 hits mid teens they will become the best of friends!

My two have become very nocturnal - they are up until at least midnight. Even DS who is more of a lark (like me). DD often doesn't start her school work until gone midday. She has never been a morning person though. So it suits her (and us) better! She's not quite as stroppy as she'd otherwise be!

Does any age gap work well though???? Sometimes these things can't be helped either!!!

I've decided DS is quite young for his age and DD is older than she is on paper, hence why they now get on reasonably well. They also get on really well with their similarly aged cousins.

Mine spend hours in bed in the daytime, such a waste of the day. Mind you...I'd like to stay in bed longer. For the first time in many, many years I have nothing I need to get up early for. But now have a pup that starts barking downstairs anywhere between 5.30am and 7am though most days it's 6.10am almost on the dot. But we did have the first 7am wake up the other day, it's like having a baby as I was worried because she wasn't barking! Our other Labrador would be happy to sleep in until 10am.

Glad to hear the puppy has settled into family life. Our cats are the same - alarm clock timing, although even their body clocks seem to have been impacted by the lockdown (and none of us getting up as early as we otherwise would do, in normal circumstances), so they don't start prowling before 6am. Thankfully!

My two have 3 years between them and sometimes I think they dont get on at all but sometimes they have fun larking about so I think they just need to grow up a bit. Its very like Friday Night Dinner at times . DS2 chose UEA knowing there would be 2 years cross over with DS1 already there so it can't be that bad. Occasionally they wave at each other if they meet on campus but I don't think they go out of their way to meet up.
I would love to have a little puppy,

Even if it did wake me up early for a while . Sometimes I have wondered what decisions I would have made differently if I had got my 2 cats before my 2 boys

@sluj my older 2 are 3 school years apart. When (or if) ds2 goes to university ds1 will be finished. Your oldest must have had a gap year or on a longer course.

My older two aren't too bad together now. We did have a few bad years. They tolerate each other, but I wouldn't say they get on. It's ds3 where the problems are....he's 5.5 years younger than ds2 and 8 years younger than ds1. The older 2 resent him as he's younger and takes up more attention. They say I pander to his needs. Maybe I do. But they are quite nasty to him too. Never mind...the years go by so fast, they'll all be left home soon, so I'd better make the most of the squabbles.

Yes I am enjoying pup really...but I could do without early wake ups. 6.12am this morn. Though I let her bark for a short while before I went down. It was just the odd bark every few mins. She's always so excited to see us and runs round crying with happiness 😍

• @icanbewhatiwant* yes DS1 has a 5 year course and is just ending year 4. Even with a long course, I feel like the time has flown. Its such a shame our year 1's are losing some of that lovely first year and potential Norwich summer.

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/coronavirus-norwich-death-rates-ons-lowest-highest-a9500106.html

Reassuring news for any of our DC still on campus and those hoping to return in September. Particularly if the new app trial is successful it could be that track and trace would work here in norwich where case numbers are low.

I live in Suffolk and I don't think we've had a huge amount of cases. I know someone that works at one of the local health centres and she hadn't heard of anyone that had tested positive (I spoke 2 weeks ago so maybe that has changed now testing has rolled out) but I know west Suffolk hospital have had over 100 cases. Dh has a friend who's wife works for the nhs and she's just tested positive for covid 19. She works for Ipswich hospital and said it's only just hitting this area. That worried me as I thought if they start lifting restrictions is it going to get much worse round here. But you are right @juicy0 if people download the app. it could be prevented. I'm not sure everyone will download the app though.

I suspect people in East Anglia will want to keep numbers as low as possible. In which case they may not be very keen to have an influx of students bringing their germs with them???? Mind you, from what DS says I get the impression that many of the students are local(ish), including many from Essex and Hertfordshire (and London of course).

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 yes most in ds's flat were from Norfolk, Suffolk and Essex. His gf is Lincolnshire, which again isn't far and most of his new housemates are from nearby counties. I think one is Kent though.

We will have to wait to see whether there is any news on schools or universities returning when Boris makes his announcement Sunday. Though not sure he will mention universities.

It's astonishing to me that universities don't seem to feature on the governments radar 🤷‍♀️