Oxbridge 2020 (6)

[Justneedatemporaryname]

New thread ready for when the old one gets filled up!

Can’t imagine how difficult it must be going through this with twins Coleoptera! Bad enough with one last year. Fingers crossed for them both

Absolute best wishes for Tuesday and Wednesday Coleoptera.

I think most people on mumsnet who have followed your posts over the last 18mths are really crossing their fingers and toes and everything else for your twins next week... You sound like an amazing mum... Xx

She has been offered ABB from both York & Durham, but is still waiting to hear from Edinburgh which offers anywhere between A*AA to ABB as standard. York & Durham have both dropped their standard offer for her, but Durham is insisting on an A for maths. I will throttle her myself if she gets less than an A for maths regardless! Either way, they are lovely offers & she is incredibly lucky.

Coleoptera, hope all works out. Totally get where you are coming from though mine aren’t DTsso it’s no so direct.
And also to everyone that distractions are useful over the next few days. Feels like a whirlwind from October to now. So next bit I hope will be easier. We will either be here or elsewhere and in all events it’s a question of steady work til some point in June then a lovely summer until mid August.

I was very late to join the Oxbridge 2019 thread (about this time last year) but have been following Coleoptera's journey (and others) since and completely get her agony.

DS and a close relative went through the Oxbridge process together last year which was awful enough (DS got offered, close relative didn't, DS subsequently lost his humanities place with A+AA) so I can only imagine how hard it is to go through this with twins.

To be honest, we still haven't quite got over the whole horrible experience which probably explains why I still lurk on this 2020 thread.

@Coleoptera - that's so tough, for all three of you. Does DT2 have longer term plans, is he thinking about what might happen after his undergraduate?

If he's really invested in his subject - and from reading your posts over the months I get the distinct feeling that he is really, really passionate about it - perhaps it is worth discussing the career paths of academics at Oxford and looking at just how many did their undergraduate studies there. Since many of them will have studied elsewhere, it might give him a new goal and a way to keep his dream, even if things don't quite go to plan next week.

Excellent post gizmo!

Coleoptera I’m also keeping everything crossed for your family, and of course for everyone else who is posting or lurking on here. Our DC have shown such intelligence, resilience, bravery and hard work to get to this point. I hope they all come through it with both their sense of self and future educational/life career not just intact but improved, whether they get Oxbridge offers or not.

Stay strong and calm everyone. Life is good.

I was intending to be at home on Tuesday but something's come up, so I said yesterday to DD4 sorry I won't be in when you get back after all but this is what I'd say if you don't get an offer (about four or five things) - so we've done that bit already in this house. She's another one who says she definitely doesn't want a gap year, so that isn't an issue.

All best wishes, Coleoptera.
I'm so eager for your boys to both get their offers and have an amazing uni experience.
I also understand the need for an anonymous place where you can share deep, dark worries.

Thanks for the inspiring tale about DT1's friend moving on from such devastating news. I need to gather some of these to start seeding the idea that life goes on and there are many potential paths when their first and greatest hope doesn't come through.

Goodbye you have made my smile with your PPE talk. Any chance you could record it as a podcast for the rest of us to use? I think I'm going to have to super glue DH's mouth shut before he well meaningly opens it and says the wrong thing whatever the outcome on Tuesday.

Feeling sick for everybody and I don't have any skin in the game this year (getting ready for next...). I always hang around on the Oxbridge threads because largely they are supportive (though always the rare ruck with the "my dc is smarter than yourrrrrrs" or "it's not faaaiiiirrr" going on) and often extremely informative. Much more so than many schools.

Good luck to all!

Very kind Irma, can't chat about it much in real life!

@Jano69 - that must be so tough. I'm sorry you and your DC don't yet feel over it. And it's salutory. Even if our DC are offered places, that's not the end of the journey is it? There's still that essential results hoop to jump through.

Thanks @IrmaFayLear - I'm feeling a bit fatalistic about it TBH. I've had work stress (now resolved) this week and with DS having been in hospital and convalescing I haven't really dwelt on it much.

DS1 finished his mocks yesterday and has the day off today so is having a mammoth gaming session. I think he's earned it.

Another thanks Irma I was thinking the whole process has been very stressful and I don't think any of us quite appreciated it until we started. I am starting the feel very sick indeed, it's nor that I think ds will not receive, I'm sure he will but the weight of expectation for him from his school is enormous. I had the very last parent consultation this week and every teacher we saw, including the Head was saying they were all behind him, were all waiting for Tuesday,where all so proud of him......wonderful sentiment and I appreciate their support but it made me feel quite sick. And the reality is they will probably know the outcome before me! Different pressures in a school that only ever have a few applicants but pressure nonetheless

@HuaShan this was me last year , albeit pressure from the other end of the scale. DSs school receive a lot of offers each year so there was a lot of wind sucking and being told competition is tough and only so many from the school will be made offers etc etc etc. I felt physically sick trying to hide my feelings to DS. But he did get an offer and has just finished his first term! Some of the sure shits weren’t made offers, you just can’t tell ! Good luck everyone for Tuesday. No matter if there is an initial disappointment it does all work out in the end!

Sure shots not sure shits

I have been following this thread as I have a child probably applying next year. Does anyone know if Oxbridge let kids in if they miss their grades (but just one)? When I went years ago a lot of us seemed to have scraped in with missed grades! I totally failed one and they still let me in!

I have to admit that I'm not worrying about the result next week. For one thing, DD is busy with something else very exciting at the moment, so we're focusing on that. I'm also concerned at the possibility of losing a place by missing out on a grade. With DD, I can certainly imagine that happening, as she's extremely good at her chosen subject, but somewhat less dedicated to one of the others. If she does get an offer (most likely through the pool I think), it's going to be important to be very chilled about it, as she may not get in in the end. So I won't be mentioning it to people, for example. For me, the offer is only one step in the path. Not very different from getting an interview.
I'm also genuinely not as bothered about going to Oxbridge as some people on this thread I think (having been there myself). If she goes to her 2nd choice, I think she'll have a great time. I'd rather that than faff about with trying for Oxbridge again next year.

Torchlightt that is a good attitude! Oxford is not the Holy Grail, but the pressure on kids can be insane.

My younger child went to Oxford and hated it, and we often wished she'd gone elsewhere. Other excellent universities are available.

Grandson is in the "third subject a bit iffy" category, so even with an offer it will be touch and go. He is so laid back back as to be almost horizontal, though, unlike his Aunt!

Laid back not back back

Clara 99.9999% no. Oxford gives generously low offers eg. AAA for humanities, as the application process is so arduous. Cambridge deliberately over offers knowing that a significant proportion will fail to meet the grades. Cambridge also now has a system of offering places to disadvantaged students who were not made an an offer but who did meet the grades in a version of clearing called adjustment (I think).