The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - Will NewModelArmyMayhem18 forgive me?

[MrKlaw]

previous thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/3701968-The-ABC-of-university-life-2019-20-cohort-settling-in-we-hope

Hope you don't mind - people have pent up comments about cheese graters and traffic cones to get out of their system!

Phew found you. Can we just continue from where we left off? DD who can cook just doesn’t seem to be - I think there is a big difference between cooking at home in a fully equipped kitchen, with a full fridge, store cupboard and range of condiments, when you are choosing to do it because you feel like it, and having to go out and buy all the ingredients yourself then jockeying for space in a communal kitchen. Obviously it is perfectly possible, but the transition may take some time. There is a need to establish a new routine around everything else you need to do when fending for yourself and also around a group of other people all trying to do the same thing. Logic might dictate they would take turns to cook for each other, but the reality is that people are eating at different times - it's not the same as being part of a family and that is what takes a bit of adjustment.

@MrKlaw sorry I totally forgot - and no need for forgiveness. Thank you !

I'm here! Phew 😅

@LillianGish yeah DS can cook (he and DD have been mostly taking on weekend dinner for about 18 months now and it works well). But ingredients are provided, he has a bit of a pantry if he wants to try other things out, and has utensils etc.

He did cook tuna pasta bake and went into town to buy a cheap baking dish so thats a good sign. He did say they're mostly cooking for themselves though - might take a few weeks to settle into any kind of rota for sharing the cooking, or may not happen until second year with a 'selected' group of more like minded people?

Baked potatoes are good for cooking. Pop them in the oven. they don't take much space and they don't take an exact length of time so you can not worry too much about timing. Plus they don't cost a lot!

Thanks for a new thread!

I'm sure it can happen, but when people are not coming in at the same time and may not want to eat at the same time and may have had lunch somewhere else etc etc it's not like making dinner at home. DD made a stir fry for a couple of girls in her flat, but has been a bit thrown out by the fact that other people don't eat the same sort of stuff as her (lots of frozen stuff and ready meals - in fact exactly the sort of stuff I'd expect students to be eating ) I'm actually quite impressed that it's so ingrained in her to try and cook from scratch.

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 I don't know if DS has a path to the Olympic rowing team or not as I've no idea how they are selected. I'll ask him when he's home this weekend. The next summer Olympics are in 2020 so if he was on the team it might be disruptive to his studies. 2024 would be better.

Mine had a £2 curry last week and went out for lunch yesterday . Other than that I have no idea what she’s been eating although she did say she was going for her first food shop yesterday too so I take it that’s a good sign . I did dump her in Durham last Sunday with some staples .

DD's flat aren't cooking together, at least half of them have very varying food issues making it pretty impossible. They are, however, clubbing together to sort out an Asda delivery. So that's a nice promising bit of teamwork.

Her rent has gone out today, so that feeling of being 'rich' has well and truly gone

Found you!

DS says they aren't warming things up cooking together either. None of mine have other than the occasional meal due to differing timetables/activities etc. I think it's easier after the first year (although again, my older two haven't). I did in 2nd & 3rd year, back in the dark ages.

Dd's aren't eating together, although I think 3 of them and 3 of the next door flat are joining together for a supermarket shop. She's trying to work out how they pay for it though, as one of them has to pay.

placemarking

Not much communal cooking going on in DS's college block either. Fortunately, he gets fed on Monday and Friday nights so it's only 5 nights to worry about. I facetimed him yesterday, and while he's not missing us, he's definitely missing home comforts such as cooked meals and a laundry service. In the meantime, I'm enjoying smaller shopping bills and less washing!

Thought I'd lost you all for a minute because I hadn't posted for a while!

A bit of communal cooking going on in DDs flat. Her and another student cooked fillet steak for dinner the other day - not sure how that works within her food budget . . . . . .

On Saturday she invited three friends round for "dinner" and discovered the fridge wasn't working properly so the 4 chicken breasts she had bought were really stinky and had to be binned and she had to go and buy more - very annoying but apparently they are getting a new fridge.

Shower in DDs room is still broken but luckily her flatmates are letting her use theirs.

Some of her flatmates went home at the weekend, I hope that's not a sign of the flat being too quiet at the weekend in the future. I guess the one from the south west will be around at least, can't imagine that he'll be popping home much.

First lectures today seemed to go "OK". She's thinking of joining the Baking society which costs £5 for the year and includes all ingredients which sounds good.

Don't think DS's flatmates are cooking communally at all. He says it's very busy and not easy to slot in a cooking time. It rather sounds as if they're all piling in together, so a joint cook-up would work better than a load try to do their own thing all at the same time. He is not great at cooking (and rather lazy), so can imagine he might be intimidated cooking in front of competent chefs. I asked him what he'd had for dinner last night - 20p reduced sandwiches. I despair (and in this chilly weather!).

A Baking Society sounds just the ticket to stimulate the inner cook but doubt DS could be persuaded.

@MissConductUS how exciting potentially!!!

Piggy Don’t freak me out like that. Took me years to get over shouty Dora and Swiper. It’s a rucksack, btw, Dora.

@JennyWreny

Dd's joining the baking society and the chocolate one I think :D

Where is your dd? (don't say if you don't want to!)

Sorrynot sorry zanda

Swiper noooooo swiping!

Thanks for the new thread. Are Monday's the hardest or is it just me?

DS is being too frugal which worries us, hope he relaxes and widens his culinary repertoire .

Spoke to DD last night she told me she'd just cooked and eaten the second salmon steak we'd put in with her initial fridge supplies (#backpack). Checked the ones I'd bought at the same time and put in the freezer...eat by 25th September...do I tell her?!? On the other hand, she told me about some of the drinking games her flat have been playing and so I'm fairly confident no salmonella could have possibly survived...

I'd reckon Atreus that if she hasn't come down by now, then she'll be fine, so don't tell her or she'll worry and probably start to feel sick now. Tell her in a couple of weeks time with a reminder to keep an eye on best before dates.

@justasking111 sounds like DS too - he had eaten a pot noodle for dinner and said "meat is expensive." He seems to be living the most frugal life possible which really isn't the point. Told him he needs proper protein in his diet!

Just back from taking DS to Oxford! An old (Oxford) friend of mine drove us as (people may remember from previous thread) DH has a recently-discovered brain tumour and is not able to drive and I don't. DS's room is lovely - on the third floor in a conference centre bit of the college, so in fairly good nick and with some great views. And he has an en-suite. We helped him unpack and went to have lunch and get him a gown etc and then he showed us and friend around the college. A bit before 4, when various events were due to start he pretty much ushered us out of the college, after very heartfelt hugs and declarations of love, which is not usual at all. He has been out of contact since, so clearly still involved in the fairly full agenda of getting-to-know you events the freshers' committee had set up.

We were fine all the way back (in torrential rain), having lovely chat with friend, but I had a huge wobble the moment we came into the oddly quiet and echoing house. I've managed to avoid bursting into tears but a close thing. I'm pretty sure he'll be ok, and the college is small and seems very caring, but it will be hard to get used to his absence. It has been very useful reading all of your experiences in the earlier threads.

One distraction is that we heard today that we are finally going to meet with the haematology team tomorrow to hear the results of DH's scans. We don't yet have a formal diagnosis, so it will be good to hear what the plans are after waiting since August when the tumour was first discovered. The nurse in charge of his care told him today that the results would be 'very good news', which is unheard of for them to say. I am trying not to get too optimistic.