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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - settling in we hope

999 replies

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 26/09/2019 12:16

Previous thread - sorry about the lame thread title but done in a hurry!

OP posts:
GoldenRuby · 06/10/2019 22:05

We are going to visit DS for two nights at the end of the month - I can't wait. We will watch him play hockey, then meet up for dinner that evening, and on the Sunday take him out for the day and grab lunch out. I don't think he will come home for reading week (the following week), as even if he has no lectures his sport commitments carry on.

MissConductUS · 06/10/2019 23:14

DS is taking the train home on Friday for the Columbus day long weekend. He's decided that he will row crew this semester, despite not liking the new team captain, as they can't row an eight man boat without him. He is however, still talking about transferring for his last two years. I think he's not unhappy enough to go through the effort and is still just hurting that his good friend didn't come back to room with him this year.

It will also be a big PITA to do the transfer applications and he's have to find a uni that will offer him a comparable merit scholarship to what he's getting now, which is very good indeed.

I feel like his first year went really well and now it's all sort of going off the rails. He's such a nice young man and he's overcome so many challenges already. Sad

Can I have a bit of MN hug please?

Northernlurker · 06/10/2019 23:41

@MissConductUS hug delivered!

It simply sucks when they are unhappy. It's so hard because you just want to fix it but they are adults and whilst we can and should parent very actively and supportively, they have to find their own way.

Northernlurker · 06/10/2019 23:43

@DrMadelineMaxwell you might want to edit that pic, think a name is visible.

Loads of road signs around atm because the marathon is in two weeks time.
York parents make sure your offspring realise which roads are closed. It's a bit of a pita at the uni end.

MissConductUS · 07/10/2019 01:07

@Northernlurker Thank you for the hug! Smile

I know, he has to find his way through it. My consolation is that if he does transfer he'll do it sensibly and likely go to one of the other uni's that accepted him previously, all of which are sound choices.

I'm really proud that he's sticking with the team despite his feelings about the captain, knowing that if he quit he'd leave them unable to compete in some of their races. He's really a good kid.

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 07/10/2019 06:38

@MissConductUS is your DS a potential Olympic oarsman? Such a pity he is not happy but good that he can recognise it and change universities at some point.

Wow, can't quite believe we are almost at 1000 posts again. Will start another thread a bit later when I'm more awake

OP posts:
DrMadelineMaxwell · 07/10/2019 06:56

I've reported my pic so hopefully it won't remain once mnet get the message.Thanks.

Jano69 · 07/10/2019 06:58

I can't believe we're almost at the end of this thread too. Pressure's on your find a new title!!! xx

Trewser · 07/10/2019 07:26

Communication from dd is tailing off, and that's giving me some space to start missing her. Was thinking this morning of how clingy she was as a baby and young child, and how so many people used to tell me it was wrong to stay with her and how she'd never learn independence. Then thinking about how she's flown the nest so happily and confidently and for once feeling that I must have done the right thing somewhere along the line (presuming she sticks it out and actually gets a degree!). So basically feeling a bit maudlin!

bigTillyMint · 07/10/2019 08:05

@MissConductUS, sorry you're worrying, but it does sound like he's digging deep - maybe he'll decide to stay once he gets used to the new normal.

@Trewser, it's quite hard readjusting, for both the student and the parent - I'm feeling OK now, but DS has only been gone a weekGrin

DrMadelineMaxwell · 07/10/2019 08:22

Dh is the one struggling here. Doesn't like to think that she's moved out and we have forgotten about her.
Which of course we haven't.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 07/10/2019 08:24

Realise I didnt say before that the road sign shenanigans were not caused by dd and her flat mates. Apparently some 2bd years left it for them as a surprise.
I doubt they would have had it if they were on the 4th floor.
.

simbobs · 07/10/2019 08:25

It's been weird for me to know that DS has been in our house this weekend and not to have seen him. Makes me want to go to where he is for a quick visit. I may need to be in the area anyway in the next couple of weeks.

simbobs · 07/10/2019 08:26

And which uni was it that had sniffer dogs?

LillianGish · 07/10/2019 08:41

We are visiting dd in a couple of weeks to take her away for a weekend - I think this will be less unsettling for her than a visit home. She seems to be gradually acclimatising to life in the UK - we had a step by step account of her making soup (including a phone call from Tesco when faced with an entire aisle of potatoes asking which ones would be best for leek and potato!) and a tongue-in-cheek photo from the launderette on the wonders of being able to do a coloureds and white wash at the same time (in two machines - I was quite jealous).

Trewser · 07/10/2019 08:43

bigTillyMint i felt great for the first two weeks! Think the next two weeks might be quite hard. She's also being ridiculously frugal with her money and not eating enough but hopefully she'll adjust! Lidl is a bike ride away so hard to buy much, and the campus tesco is really expensive.

Ginfordinner · 07/10/2019 09:29

DD rang me in tears yesterday as it would have been the 4th anniversary of going out with the boy who dumped her a month ago. I wish I could have been there to hug her. Fortunately she has made some lovely friends who have been supporting her.

A bit mean of me, but I hope he felt as miserable as she did yesterday.

AnotherNightWatering · 07/10/2019 09:43

the campus tesco is really expensive DS, also very frugal, would pop along at yellow sticker time and pick up lots of bargains.

Alicatz66 · 07/10/2019 09:47

@Ginfordinner .. poor DD ... sending a hug 🤗... but in a few weeks she will be glad to be single ! ... She can throw herself into uni without him holding her back

Ginfordinner · 07/10/2019 09:50

I know Alicatz, that's my view. TBH I am pleased the relationship has ended, but I hate that DD is so upset.

Trewser · 07/10/2019 09:52

DS, also very frugal, would pop along at yellow sticker time and pick up lots of bargains good shout I will remind her

Chillywhippet · 07/10/2019 10:08

Trewser DD who can cook just doesn’t seem to be. When I took some stuff down I filled her empty freezer drawer with Meals in a Bag from Iceland and some homemade stew. She said she fancied pad Thai last night so I sent her a quick and easy bbc recipe hoping she’ll be tempted.
I think she is worried about spending too and tired from doing too much.

Trewser · 07/10/2019 10:13

Yeah I was sure she'd enjoy cooking, and she has been doing a bit, but the kitchen is smallish, the hob isn't great and she's obsessed with not spending. I think she's spent less than 100 in three weeks including going out a lot in Freshers! I wish I'd taken frozen meals up! All the freezer draws are now taken - one of the rugby boys is 6 foot 4 and huge, he has two drawers! Apparently he's offered some space to dd but she said no.

Ginfordinner · 07/10/2019 10:15

DD loves her food too much not to cook or eat. That is one thing I don't need to worry about.

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