The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - settling in we hope

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread - sorry about the lame thread title but done in a hurry!

Only on mumsnet would my dd be an anomaly because she likes going out with large groups of students and drinking alcohol! It's been 2 weeks and it's already settled down. She's done a fairly hairy sounding sports club initiation but also joined the baking society and has managed to do some work including a presentation that went well. Dd2 is a much more sensitive soul but I think will take a gap year and hopefully experience a bit of life so she's not a complete shrinking violet when she goes to uni.

@blametheparents .. that's good .. we are off to Nottingham next Sunday to take DS to lunch .. doubt he will be very tidy though

I don't think she does sound like an anomaly at all, Trewser: that was my point and my concern for teetotal squares like my ds - they don't appear to be very common and so unlikely to fit in in halls whatever the Uni might try to do to make good matches!

@Alicatz66 - I was shocked! His room is a tip at home!
Loads of places to eat in the city, or I guess you could stay closer to the university.
We’re about a 3 hour drive away so it won’t be a regular occurrence, but it was such a nice day that it was worth it.

I didn't drink at all for two years at uni. I drank coffee and lemonade (not together) when i went out.

Didn't a recent report say that about 20% of students describe themselves as teetotal now? That is quite a substantial proportion, and the non teetotallers are likely to include a few who just like the odd glass of wine. So there is hope for those who don't want their social lives to involve alcohol!

The thing about asking for a 'quiet' flat is that different people will have different interpretations of the word - some will take it to mean basically no alcohol, some just that there won't be people doing karaoke at 4 in the morning.

I can't understand why universities don't ban iniitiation rites - not just because of the alcohol risk, but the whole concept of them seems wrong to me - once again likely to deter shyer students from joining those societies and sports. (I know they suggest it's so that initiation rites don't go underground, but am never convinced by those arguments .)

Tea and lime and soda for me for three years (also not together ).

DS has been very very drunk once at 16 was at a friends house and they set about mums bacardi. We had to pick him up was a bad evening and night for both of them, since then he has not bothered. He has worked in a bar for two years and seen some sights. He does like a rum and coke but it has to be a particular dark rum for flavour. He also enjoys a pale ale. Booze is so expensive when out that has to put the brakes on it somewhat.

I hadn’t heard the terrible news about the NTU student. It’s reminded me of the lovely boy in the year below me who fell from a balcony when on holiday celebrating his graduation & sadly died.

god when I remember some of the things I got up to - London med school in the 90s - it's fucking terrifying.

Some places definitely DO ban these initiation activities. Doesn't necessarily stop them happening, but I would hope it made it easier for those organising them to say no or dial them down.

they've gone off to town to get drunk now :p

DS and GF have gone to meet them

DS and GF have gone to meet them

I was hoping they would!

The thing about asking for a 'quiet' flat is that different people will have different interpretations of the word - some will take it to mean basically no alcohol, some just that there won't be people doing karaoke at 4 in the morning.
Surely a "non-alcohol flat" is different to a "quiet flat" generally. Dd had various things they could fill out on the form, one being non-alcohol and another being "quiet", (I think food allergies was another) so you could definitely have one but not another.

Well my DD also is a big party animal so bucking the MN trend here too!

Her flat are all into partying, they're out clubbing tonight despite having been on every single night out during freshers.

She's been going out almost all the way through a levels so it's not a new thing.....she's quite sensible and knows her limits with alcohol

What does "quiet" mean?

Ragwort my son new nothing of it either and it’s the street in front of his. It’s not a balcony really but the walkway in front of the flats from 1st floor up

Thoughts are with the family of the student from NTU. Can't imagine what they're going through right now.

In happier news, DC1 is loving it in Manchester.
Routines are established.
Eating, laundry & shopping OK.
Course going well.
Good friends made in nearby flats.
Socs joined.
Making pancakes at 1am seems perfectly reasonable!

Dd likes alcohol but has the same sort of drinking habit that we do.... one or maybe two and that's it.
She was quite put out when I asked her if she had been drunk yet.

What does "quiet" mean?

Well, the possibility is, at the extreme, each person just getting up, going to lectures, coming back and cooking their individual evening meal / sitting in their own little corner of the refectory, then shutting themselves away in their room for the duration?

Possibly sometime soon prompting the moan from at least one that university is so awful, they're so lonely, everyone spends all their time shut away in their rooms, no-one talks to them etc.

Being kept awake / woken up regularly in the early hours by the inconsiderate is no fun, either, of course. It is a difficult one.

My ads has been out every night until 5/6am clubbing in Nottingham. It sounds like they have all been organised freshers events.

He will drink every night, but can't and doesn't get drunk. He has a medical condition that means it's dangerous to get drunk to the point of being sick, so thankfully he is sensible enough not to do that. It also makes him cautious so he stops drinking after the initial few.

He's not mentioned noise, but with no kitchen or hang out area in his halls (catered) I'd hope everyone just goes straight to their rooms.

I'm hoping after this weekend the clubbing reduces. He won't be able to continue at this pace financially, so that will stop it a bit.

Frankly, they won't be able to afford to continue partying hard, financially or otherwise, so the quieter DC will feel less "alternative" eventually.

Spoke to my DD yesterday. Her flat if 12 seem to be getting on well, she had made banana bread for everyone yesterday and they were off to the cinema. She’s been kept busy teaching the boys to cook (yesterday’s lesson was that garlic has the skin taken off before it is chopped) and do laundry. One boy threw up on his bed (and laptop) in Freshers week and has been sleeping without sheet or duvet cover since because he doesn’t know how to do laundry. How do 18 year olds not know how to cook or do basic household tasks? DD has done her own washing for years and is a great cook.

Dd reports that she has been making several salads in one go for the week (a habit she has got from me) and a stew for several dinners in one go too. So, relatively healthy. How much junk she's also having I have no idea. Apparently the library has a Ben and Jerry vending machine!

Just to balance out her apparent wonder-student image she still is unable to tell me how much her next rent instalment is or when it is due.

Don't get me wrong DD is very sociable and loves going out, she just doesn't like the club scene, and physically doesn't have the stamina to stay out all night. The friends she has made all look out for each other, and when she has left a night out earlier than the rest (to get an Uber) they have always offered to go with her. She just needs her sleep. CFS is a bastard.